Off The Books
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“Hello, master.”

“... Hey, Mary. It looks like you got a knack for mana manipulation, huh?.”

Upon entering my room, I spot Mary walking upside down on the ceiling dusting the high wall corners and bookcase tops.

“It's convenient using mana like this. It makes cleaning so much easier.”

“That may be so. But can you at least give me a view of your panties or something? Walking upside down should have your skirt going up shouldn't it?”

Gravity should be working in my favor.

“That would be the case but knowing how perverted the young master gaze is, I clipped the insides of my skirt to my garter.”

...Damn, I thought I was slick but she must’ve caught me stealing glances at her and the other maids' butts whenever I saw them walking in the hallways. 

I can’t help that as a man my eyes are attracted to asses! It’s a basic instinct!

“At least tell me the color. Is it the virtuous and innocent white or the sexy and mature black?”

Not denying my pervertedness, I ask earnestly. Oh, what I’ll pay to have x-ray vision.

“That's a secret.”

Putting a finger over her mouth, Mary looked down at me and said with a playful smile.

Tch, I bet that it's white. 

“If you weren't so self-conscious, I could've experienced tons of perverted accidents by now. Agh! Why couldn't you be a bimbo?”

I lamented as I shook my head from side to side. If she was a clumsy bimbo, my life here would’ve been even more spectacular. A boob grab here, a head under the skirt there, is this too much to ask for?

“ ...I have become more aware of how deep your perversion is master.”

“Don't look at me with wary eyes! It's not my fault that I have such fantasies. Blame that manga for having an MC capable of causing godly 'accidents’!”

His godly skill of causing perverted accidents is something I could only wish for. R*to, my friend, you have my deepest respect and admiration!

“But that still doesn't change the fact that you’re a huge pervert.”

This sharp-tongued maid raised her awareness level to the max. This means I won't be able to have any perverted ‘accidents’! 

If that’s the case then...

“I want a maid change.”

“Sorry, master, but with how your reputation is now, I'm sure every maid except me hates and despises you to the bone.”

 “...Damn, I forgot about that.”

I said as I awkwardly scratch the back of my head. 

I guess being called the scum of the earth has its advantages as well as its disadvantages.

“Ahem, anyway, where’s everyone?”

With a light cough, I changed the subject and asked as I sat down.

“Ms. Alice and Ms. Kari said they'll be trying on the new clothes they bought in their rooms. They bought a lot of items, even giving some of the staff souvenirs.”

Hopping down from the ceiling and landing with a graceful step, Mary said as she showed me a small silver bracelet. It had small charms consisting of hearts and stars hanging off it. So that's why they visited a jewelry store earlier. I was wondering why they bought a bunch of jewelry at one time. It was to give the staff souvenirs. 

That’s nice of them.

 

“What do you think?”

Showing me the bracelet on her dainty white wrist, Mary asked for my opinion. Not even a second passed before I said.

“It’s pretty. The charms match you perfectly. Especially the heart charms. I find you putting your heart into taking care of my every need endearing. Thank you.”

She serves me tea, delivers snacks, and washes and changes my clothes. Despite me not asking for much because I’m not used to having someone waiting on me hand and foot, it still must’ve been tiring. On top of that, she has other duties as well, such as sweeping the hallways and dusting valuable artworks. 

This may not seem much but this castle is big and very intricate, if one didn’t know it like the back of their hand, one could get lost.

Not to mention, she also trains with Alice and co. on the nights when I teach them. Albeit, not to the same extent as them. I never made her participate in sparrings.

Having the ability to do all these things and take care of me on the same day is admirable.

“And for that, I thank you, Mary. If there’s anything you need, anything you want in the future, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

It’s the least I can do after all she’s done for me.

“...”

“Uh, Mary?”

Not hearing a response from her after some time, I looked at Mary to see what’s wrong.

“A-ah, you d-didn't have to s-say such embarrassing t-things. Well…”

And to my surprise, she was trying to hide her flushed face behind her hands as she fiercely turned her back towards me. It didn’t help much since I could see the tips of her ears turning bright red.

She’s embarrassed!

“Mary?”

Trying to hold back a chuckle, I called out her name. Not even turning towards me, she threw a hand out and said.

“G-give me a minute. I need to calm down.”

After that, she took a few deep breaths before turning back towards me with a pouting face.

“Geez, young master. At least give me a heads up before you compliment me. My heart wasn’t ready for it. If I didn’t know how you usually acted, I would’ve fallen for you.”

At that remark, I shrugged my shoulders and said nonchalantly. 

“That’s a shame then. I was planning on going the harem route so I wanted to have at least one maid in the group.”

“Hmph, in your dreams. I want a husband who’s upright and honest, not perverted.”

“Welp, I guess that’s not me then. Let me know when you find him, I’ll send you a wedding gift.”

“I hope so. I expect it to be a gift worthy of a former hero.”

“Haha, I’ll try my best.”

I got the rich from looting the houses of traitorous nobles, robbing bandits, cutting deals with merchants, investing in certain people and their businesses...doing ransoms. 

By the time the war was over, I unknowingly became a very wealthy man, in both a monetary and influential sense. 

But because I didn’t think I was going to come back to this world, I passed most of my possessions and connections to my comrades, telling them to do whatever they want with it.

Would it have been nice to stay here the first time and never go back to Earth?

Fuck, yeah it would! I’d have money, power, and pretty much the world around my finger. 

But here’s the thing...

What’s the point of being wealthy if you can’t share it with the people you love? 

The first time around, Alice wasn’t here, Father Jefferson wasn’t here, nor was Patrick here. None of them was here in Lunaria to experience the joy of such wealth with me. 

So, I gave it all up to go back home, where they were. To which upon returning, I wasn’t met with a heartwarming welcome but instead cops screaming in my face and a dog trying to bite my leg.

Talk about a rough way of saying karma’s a bitch.  

“Hey, Mary, since you’re mostly done cleaning everything in here, you're dismissed for today. All that shopping made me a bit sleepy.”

Getting up from the chair, I walk over to my bed and lay on it. Now that I had the chance to sit down, I noticed that I was quite tired. Shopping for hours on end took more energy out of me than fighting. 

A woman's tenacity when it comes to finding the right clothing that fits them is astonishing.

“Yes, master. Have a good rest.”

Complying with my request,  Mary starts to leave the room. But before she does, I call out to her.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Mary, was Renaldo waiting for Alice and Kari when they first arrived?”

Thinking for a moment, Mary replied.

“Mr. Renaldo? I don’t think so. I heard from a couple of co-workers that they saw him leave about fifteen minutes before they arrived. They said something important must’ve happened because he left in a hurry with a sullen expression on his face. I wonder what it was?”

“Hmm, I wonder as well… That’d be all, thanks.”

“My pleasure.”

Mary then closes the door after doing a bow.

“...”

After staring at the luxurious ceiling for a few minutes while in solitude, I started to contemplate certain matters.

Renaldo is probably trying to clean up after himself right now. He’s most likely going to kill that thief Alice and Kari caught to cut all ties between him and my planned assassination. I bet he’s also driving himself crazy trying to figure out where the assassins, his loose ends, are. 

‘They couldn’t have vanished into thin air? Where the fuck they go?’ Are they hiding?

Is what he’s thinking. Renaldo can search every nook and cranny trying to find them but he never will.

They’re dust in the wind.

Once he realizes he can’t find them, he’ll slowly start to develop anxiety and paranoia. A plot to assassinate a person who has deep ties to a hero is a grave offense after all. The punishment for such a crime is death. Not even a noble can be exempt from this law.

With such a crime hanging over his head like a sword of Damocles, his paranoia will cause him to slip up eventually. All I gotta do is wait.

Now, the other matter.  

It's been almost half a year since me, Alice and Kari were transported here into the world of Lunaria. And during all this time, Alice and Kari have been training non-stop while I've done nothing but lounge around, a mini vacation.

“Although it’s a well-deserved vacation, this caused public opinion of me to hit rock bottom. Malicious rumors about me are popping up everywhere in the castle and the stares of disgust are increasing. It's only a matter of time before they start a petition for me to leave the castle.”

The only reason the castle servants talked behind my back instead of saying it to my face is because I'm friends with Alice, Kari, and Prince Leonard, who have the world’s and this nation's future resting on the top of their shoulders.

In other words, the reason why servants within the castle don't try to openly antagonize me is because they respect those three.

However, once those three are gone, there'll be nobody to stop them. The servants will be able to antagonize me however they wish.

Even more so if I have to ask King Paul to interfere. Which I won't do since I don't want to trouble him as much as I already have.

 

I knew what I signed up for the moment I declined to become a hero. I was prepared for this. Besides, I want to travel the world, meet beautiful women, get rich (legally) and live a peaceful but exciting life somewhere. I won't be able to find this in a castle. 

Therefore…

“The moment those three finish their training, I'm going to leave. But before I do, I should prepare a few farewell gifts...after I take a nap.”

***

Currently, in the dead of night, I'm standing in front of the King's study room.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I knock a few times to see if anyone's in there and a few moments later, an aged voice could be heard from within.

“Enter.”

Hearing the okay, I opened the door and spotted a grayish blonde-haired man looking through a stack of papers, signing every other one.

Noticing my presence, Paul put down his pen and said calmly.

“What brings you here so late in the night? This isn't our usual drinking time.”

“I have a little favor to ask of you.”

I replied as I walked up to the paper ridden desk.

“What is it?”

“What can you do with these?”

I then placed a neatly assorted set of papers on the desk. This was the information I retrieved from those so-called 'assassins’. I looked over each piece of information and organized it into a neat and orderly manner, making it easier to read.

“Hmm, let me see…”

With a look of interest, the King starts to go through the information. As time went on, his expression slowly became solemn. I can understand why.

Those papers had our carriage’s description, the route we took, and the names and drawings of me and a few other people who knew about the route.

“Where did you find this?”

“I got it from a group of low-end assassins…”

I then explained to him how I got the information and who I thought were the culprits behind it.

“Honestly, how can you have someone like that prowling around the castle?”

Taking a seat in the chair in front of the desk, I complained. If it wasn’t for those two, my castle life would be splendid.

“I apologize for this. if I could, I would have already kicked them out of the castle. There are many shady things he’s done but I have no choice but to ignore it...”

With a bitter laugh, King Paul continued.

“Renaldo and his father have deep relations with three very prominent nobles in the council.”

 

“Is it because of the marriages?”

Mary told me Renaldo had three wives. Those three must be the daughters of some of the council nobles.

“Yes. I don't know how Patrick managed to do it but he got the daughters of the Minister of Justice, Assistant Head Manager of logistics, and Chancellor of Trade to marry their daughters to that beast of a son, Renaldo. Especially, The Minister of Justice. As befitting of the title, he's an upright man who holds fairness and justice very highly. These three marriages have given Patrick an extreme amount of influence in the Council...Sigh, what is that Patrick planning?”

Putting a hand across his forehead, King Paul sighs tiredly. Hmm, it seems that fatty and his son are more troublesome than I expected. To think he got connections with a few big ballers in the Council, which is the administration that helps the king run Talius. From what I read, it’s composed of influential nobles families who some date back to Talus’ founding. 

“So, what shall we do with the evidence?”

Knowing the answer, I ask anyway.

“What can we do with it? There's no trace of this leading back to them. I could show this to the public but it'll cause those two to become suspicious and make unwanted moves. He probably used their connections to hire assassins, figure out what your route was, who was with you, and find the best time to kill you… Sigh, what a mess this is... I could use a drink. Want one?”

Pulling out a bottle of high-grade alcohol and two glasses, King Paul asks.

“Sure, I can go for a drink right now.”

 Nodding my head, I agree. There’s never not a good time to taste expensive alcohol.

“Here you go.”

He hands me one of the two glasses.

“Thanks.”

CLINK!

We then clink our glasses together and drink its contents. Ah, now that hits the spot.

“Putting the matter about Renaldo and his sketchy ass dad aside, for now, I need your help getting me these items.”

Pulling out a folded piece of paper from my pocket, I unfold it and hand it to him. Written on it are the items I need.

“Oh?”

Interest peaked, King Paul reads over the paper before looking back at me. 

“Hmm, I think we have most of these items already here in the castle. But what are you going to do with them?”

“Just think of it as a farewell present.”

“Farewell present? Are you leaving anytime soon?”

Surprised, the King asks.

“Yeah. As soon as those two get done with their training. It shouldn’t be that much longer, right? The moment they're done, I'll be leaving the castle. Therefore, before I leave, I would like to hand them a present.”

“Alright then, I'll have my attendant gather these things as soon as possible.”

Folding up the paper, he puts it within his breast pocket and said in all seriousness. It’s nice knowing that he places extreme importance on my simple task. 

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll let you continue with your work.”

Saying this, I got up from the chair and walked towards the door. When I opened it halfway, a thought suddenly popped up in my head.

“ Hey… How bad do you want Patrick and Renaldo gone?"

“What do you mean?”

With a face full of puzzlement, King Paul asked.

“Exactly what I said. What if I can make him and his son disappear.”

Walking back to the desk, I continued.

“With how things are going, Patrick probably thinks he’s Mr. Untouchable. You won’t get rid of him because he’s good at his job and his enemies can’t get rid of him because his influence is too strong. Sooner or later he might try to undermine your power once again like he did today.”

He might feel that since he’s powerful enough to sway the entire council, why should he listen to the king? Although this conjecture is a little bit out there, who’s to say this thought process may bring upon a coup d'etat or result in future royalty becoming puppet rulers?

“So before he becomes a thorn in both yours and my side, how about we go ahead and take him out? I’m sure it’s about time to take out such trash anyway.”

I don’t like the way Fatass and his son keep staring at Alice and Kari. If one day, they were to undermine King Paul’s power and pull the shit they did towards me at them, I’d fear for their fate.

So before any of that can happen, it’s better just to nip this problem in the bud.

“You’re right. It’s about high time I handle him for good or else he’ll bite me when I least expect it...If I allow this, can you make it look like an accident? I only need Patrick Yulsten gone. I need plausible deniability, otherwise, it’d be suspicious if both the son and father die on the same day.”

After thinking for a while before coming to a decision, King Paul put on a solemn expression, looked me straight in the eyes, and asked. Matching his gaze, I said to him.

“I can. I’ll also gather as much evidence towards him and Renaldo to handle as you wish. It’d be best to destroy their reputation so that they’ll no longer be able to rise again. Not to mention, we might just find out who’s all in their back pocket.”

Knowing them, they probably got a paper trail of their criminal activities hidden somewhere for safekeeping such as ledgers, bank statements, contracts, etc. 

“I agree. If you can gather enough evidence, I’ll make sure to destroy their family beyond recognition. That'll also give me enough requisites to execute Renaldo or at least send him to prison. When’s the quickest time you can start?”

“When do Alice and co. leave the castle to gather experience?”

“Next week.”

“Then on the day they leave, I’ll start making my move. Until then we wait.” 

“Alright...I’m sure you already know this but this is off the books.”

“Don’t you worry. Just like how you don’t want others to know about this, I also don’t want others to know... if you’d excuse me. I’ll leave you to do your work.”

I then get up from the chair for the final time and start walking towards the door.

“Okay. if you help me with this, I’ll be sure to reward you handsomely.”

 “Mark your words. I’m going to hold you to that.”

Saying this, I gently closed the door and stealthily made my way back into my room.

You better be counting your days, Patrick and Renaldo 'cause I’m coming for you!

***

Author’s note

I hope you guys like this chapter. It’s not on the level of a political thriller but I tried implementing some political intrigue into the story. Is it understandable? 

Also, sometime in the future, I don’t necessarily know when, but I might be going on a hiatus. About two weeks ago, I went to a Navy Recruiter and decided to join the Navy! Haha, my time as a stacker in a chicken plant is almost done! No more 40lb boxes of chicken getting dropped on my hands or air assassinations from chicken getting dropped from the air for me! As for what I’m going in for, I don’t know. My ASVAB scores allowed me to get a good few but I’m hovering over HM-ATF or AIRR. Wish me luck! 

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