Lesson 02 - School Trip to the Weird

--- random day at school ---

"Don't forget, tomorrow there is a trip to the museum, to the 'Cursed Artifacts Exhibition'." The rather giddy history teacher reminded the class. "Naturally only if you have the waivers signed. Those that don't will have to go to the art museum and sketch paintings."

"Bad idea." Zaria mumbled.

Isabelle wondered if those were real or fakes. Going into an exhibit full of dangerous stuff did not sound safe, especially when you knew they could be real. She decided to ask her best source about it.

"It's rare to see you come over. What can I do for you?"

Isabelle blushed at that poke at her, but the albino was so fast and always popped up unannounced. "It's about tomorrow, is it safe?"

"Don't touch anything, don't stare too long. Keep the indicated distance. A few of the items are actually from my personal collection."

Isabelle gave her white friend a look full of disbelief. "What?"

"You know, we old ones usually have stuff from our lifetimes somewhere. So, lending it out to museums is a nice way to either pad your pockets, or to get a safe storage space."

The human girl wondered how much that was if they worried about storage.

"Several shrines full, or warehouses if you prefer. There is a system set up with several banks for old deposits like ours. Makes transitioning identities easier too. Actually, those banks are usually in the hands of dwarves or other not so human races." Zaria explained casually.

"Do I want to know how much you own?" Isabelle asked.

"Probably not, enough to fill several museums probably." Zaria pondered. "I should really check it out sometime. Want to come?"

"How dangerous is it?"

"Are we talking curses? Not very. Getting buried? Probably very high?" The albino answered nonchalantly.

"Clean it up first, then I'll be interested."

"Spoilsport."

--- The next day ---

(Museum map inside spoiler, not required, but it helps)

A few hours of normal school, then the afternoon trip to the museum.

As it seemed to be a school wide trip in honour of the new international exhibit in the museum, they were transported with busses. It certainly beat herding all those students by public transport.

Sharing the bus with their seniors was not as pleasant, the popular groups kept on trying to impress each other. More like younger girls impressing the older boys, the older boys impressing the younger girls, the younger boys impressing the older girls, the older girls teasing the younger boys, the older girls becoming annoyed at the older boys and the younger girls, and the younger boys trying to outperform the older boys.

It was loud and most ignored the call to remain seated and fasten their seatbelts.

Isabelle had a different problem. She had a lap full of silky hair from Zaria leaning against her, almost napping. The explanation she had gotten was: "I dislike cars and busses; they smell and make me feel unsafe."
At least the kitsune wasn't drooling.
And she got to play with the hair.
But she had to deal with the jealous aura from the puppy seated behind her. She was not sure where the jealousy came from however. After all, the nonhuman girl tended to stay clear of Zaria.

Then Zaria slid off the shoulder and landed across Isabelle's lap, barely avoiding hitting her head against the side of the bus.

The growl from behind only served to make Isabelle more confused.

She busied herself by collecting all the hair to keep it from touching the floor.

Now if only the bus were faster.

------

Once they arrived, Zaria had seemingly woken up, stretched, undone her seatbelt and waited for the flow of students to stop. Samantha had charged ahead.

Outside the albino was obviously unimpressed.

Inside the museum Zaria seemed equally unimpressed.

Inside the museum however it seemed that the curator was very impressed when he saw Zaria. "Welcome Eternal One. It is an honour to receive you at my place, are you here to check up on the security?" The grey-haired man greeted Zaria when she peeled away from the class and their tour guide. Isabelle had followed, causing the guarded against Zaria Samantha to follow, which had caused her groupies to follow.

The human girls peeled off again and returned to their regular guide when Samantha had hugged Isabelle's arm and started growling at the suited man.

"Shush Sammy, may I introduce you to the curator and actual owner of this museum, I forgot the name he is using currently, but he is one of the oldest liches still in existence." Zaria introduced.

Surprisingly, at least for the two normal schoolgirls, the lich did not seem offended at the forgotten name. One thing nagged at the human girl. "Aren't liches always presented as dried out undead?"

"Yes, we actually are, however that was before skin moisturizing creams and other beauty products. And in case you are wondering, I am not offended if the White One does not remember my name, I may be old enough to be dust, but she is far older still, no offense meant."

"I hope most of the items are safe? I have not checked into the security."

"What do you mean most?" Isabelle asked, the thought of cursed items being not secured properly was honestly worrying for her.

Zaria waved it off. "Actually, it has to do with the nature of the mystical. It is also the reason why most of the items are not dispelled or destroyed."

"Oh, please let me educate the younger generation. It is my job after all." The lich interjected.

"The nature of cursed items and the magic powering them is such that forever locking them up does not work. Sooner or later, they will be found. Power leaves an imprint on the world. Powerful items imprint upon reality. Magic changes the odds." The lich continued. "For example, I can see the magic on the little one here, by her low growl she is something canine, lupine, or a predator like that. You are clearly human, but then again anyone with a little sensitivity can sense that you spend a lot of time in her presence." The man waved the intermission off. "Magic is not sentient, it does however have direction, and cursed items want to be used. Now you naturally want to hide away things like that silver mirror in the exhibit that opens a gate to an infernal layer with a drop of blood. That one is warded, surrounded by enchanted glass, and has a large circle cleared around it. However, the gold watch with the minor bad luck curse? It is fine if that one gets stolen, the thief will have bad luck, the one buying the stolen goods will have bad luck. So, we have several of the less dangerous cursed items less secured, and a few of the items with very specific activation conditions placed within easy reach. Like the succubus statue, if you grope both the breasts and say 'I allow you to possess me' or something like that, then your body gets taken over by a succubus for a few years." The lich shrugged. "It was actually a ritual that certain priestesses and leaders did for the purposes of fame and experience. They got taken over, spent the time watching all the acts the succubus did in their body and either came out either having learned how to seduce men, amass power, and being famous. Or they came out as broken wrecks, their minds destroyed by all the acts their bodies had done."

Isabelle shuddered, that was rather detailed, and she was scared of how the lich explained it all so calmly. Being locked in your mind while watching your body act sounded especially terrifying. From what she felt, Samantha seemed of the same opinion, with the puppy squeezing her arm hard and being rather stiff against her side.

"Don't worry, I am very much capable of undoing such things, but most of the time if it is by stupidity, like that game, I leave it be."

"Yes, she is not bound by the laws as much as most of us are. She can undo many things. Even one such as myself, is simply a moment's notice before disappearing in time before your host." The Lich said with far calmer then such a statement deserved. "Since your group left you behind, why don't we give you a personal tour, Lady Kairan here probably has all sorts of forgotten stories for the items. The items she doesn't know, I know about."

"I made some myself."

"You made cursed items?" Isabelle wondered.

"I was bored."

The lich winced and took a few steps back.

Isabelle had a feeling of doom.

Samantha hid behind Isabelle.

Suddenly Samantha hugged Isabelle's arm and whispered. "Don't look back."

Isabelle looked at her arm, then at the girl who was staring straight ahead while clinging to her.

Zaria placated the human girl. "Don't worry you can look back."

The Irish girl did that, and found herself confronted by what seemed to be all the members of the big breast club from school present at the museum.

The Lich chuckled amused. "Don't worry, a few other members of our side will probably join us, she is a real shrine maiden and the safest place in this exhibit is next to her. So, relax and enjoy the tour. You all got some assignments probably?"

"We need to pick something and then report on it." One of the girls behind Samantha replied.

"Then let us depart. Please enter past the curtains, and don't stare at it too long."

The 'it' was a cave painting. Men with clubs, women with clubs, everyone in loincloths, and animals and people being dragged off. Isabelle wondered why wearing a loincloth and clubbing Samantha to drag her off seemed like a good idea.

Then Zaria clapped.

"Wow, that was …" Isabelle had no idea how to explain.

Looking around only the Lich and Zaria seemed amused, while some others seemed to blush or look confused.

"And this is why the safest spot is next to The White One." The Lich explained. "This was actually a teaching aid I was told. Never forget to wear a loincloth and club whoever and whatever needs it. Effective, isn't it?"

"A little too effective." Samantha whimpered.

Isabelle petted the disturbed girl to calm her down, only to find a few of the younger ones from their followers holding their heads her way as well. To headpat girls bigger, and often in more than one sense, than her was really weird. Then again, the Otherside made no sense most of the time.

She obliged the girls, and did not look back at the amused or jealous looks she knew the other three in the group had.

"Wait girls what are you doing away from the groups?" A demanding voice called out.

"Ahh, you must be Mr. Penbrook, the history teacher. It is a pleasure to meet you."

The teacher looked at the pale man in the suit. "Ohh, sorry you must be Mr. Aedys, the curator." The history teacher brushed past the students. "It is an honour to meet you, I hope my students are not bothering you."

"No, the honour is all mine, I am giving Lady Kairan and her friends a personal tour." The Lich explained. "She is actually someone who lent a few of the items here."

The teacher clearly did not understand what was said for a few moments. Then he turned and stared at the disagreeable albino that kept on dismissing some of the facts he was telling or kept telling tales that had no basis in fact.

Zaria waved.

Isabelle and Samantha sighed in exasperation.

"She owns a lot of relics, diaries, notes, artifacts, and other things that are too controversial to be accepted by the community of historians." The curator said with a smile. "A lot like my own collection actually."

"You mean like the thing about the saints during the middle ages …" The historian tried to ask.

"That is probably true, I am not sure which one she mentioned. My favourite is the one where they ate hallucinogenic mushrooms to get visions. Or what type of people the inquisitors were. After all there was a reason, they were all men and most witches were pretty women that they arrested and held for questioning."

The teacher frowned.

"The church made sure most reports of that kind disappeared over the centuries."

"I still own some interrogation transcripts, the unedited versions they kept for themselves as trophies." Zaria frowned. "They are really disturbing reading, thankfully for a lot of supposed witches the mortality rate they faced in retaliation was rather high."

"Especially after they interrogated the wrong daughter." The Lich added.

"Do you think I could read some of it?" The teacher asked.

"I don't want my notes to disappear after you mention them to someone or decide they must be fakes or something." Zaria declined.

"Same for our collection. Every true curator has a lot of things hidden away and misfiled, so that nobody can destroy them without a lot of work and searching through thousands of secured and stored scrolls or artifacts." The Lich said with a smile. "Now I understand that the students must each pick one of the artifacts or relics here and report on them later. I suspect that this group will have stories the others won't have." It was a dismissal, plain and simple. "Now I know all of you can read, so please work through the hall here and meet me at the centre once you are done, we will answer basic questions there, make sure to take notes, or to buy our hardcover 'The Cursed History' available at our gift shop. Now Lady Kairan there is something I need to talk about to you, and tell you a story involving our night shift guard and your banana peel."

Isabelle shrugged and pulled out her notebook, walking down the hall she saw it was more general information. "What are curses?" Explained that curses in the broadest sense were effects that were negative for the target and had to be reversed. "Types of Curses" explained various effects, the schoolgirls found being cursed could have many effects. "Cursed Items" muddled the whole curses thing a little more, cursed items were items altered to have negative effects without seemingly having them. They were meant to disrupt, annoy, influence, and even kill people. "Superstition or Reality" was interesting actually, it explained how there was no scientific explanation for curses or cursed items. Only statistical data from what amounted to far too many coincidences to be possibly explained.

A small "Warnings" explained that touching anything creepy or possibly cursed was at your own risks, while "Rituals" explained that they were not curses, but could cause you to be cursed and die. Creepy games often fell into that category.

Isabelle felt rather familiar with that one, and vowed to never touch such things. One creepy shadow was enough for a lifetime, demons, spirits, undead, or ghosts? Monsters by human terms were everywhere, and she suspected that one being that could easily be called a monster stood before her. Someone who was probably more powerful than she could even imagine, and someone who cursed a banana. The banana part was really weird.

Maybe the slipping on a banana peel myth was her fault?

They arrived at the end of the hall and saw the four rooms of the exhibit. Isabelle knew if she turned around, she'd see the other girls following silently, Samantha had a more interesting reaction to the whole exhibit, Isabelle suspected that if she could, the wolf would be hiding under her shirt like a puppy, or maybe under her skirt.

"Now about the true exhibit. We have prepared four large rooms that are themed and separated into smaller ones. Daily lives are separated by indoor and outdoor. We have games and toys, weapons, jewellery and precious, then things for going out, and a section on dispelling, pity the churches forgot how to work most of it. Going with the trend we have a multimedia section with several thousand supposed cursed places, items, buildings, and also haunted ones. Where do you wish to go first ladies?"

Isabelle looked at her brochure. It was an exhibit that separated items by topics, a movie room, and a history of uncursing. "Honestly? I don't care. What about you?" She asked Samantha and the girls behind her.

"I want to see the weapons and the outdoor section." Samantha declared after studying her copy of the brochure.

The cowgirls and adopted into cowgirl rank girls seemed to be surprised that someone asked their opinion, but then gathered for a few moments. Something that Isabelle found amusing since she had troubles not imagining them as a herd of cows sticking closely together. It was probably rude, but knowing what she told, it was hard not to picture it.

"The home and outdoor sections are what interest us the most." finally a very healthy girl, that could only be a real cowgirl, declared.

"Then this way please. First is the outdoor section, it is centred around outdoor activities and nature." The Lich led the way inside and waved his hand at the west wall. "Over there we gathered myths of haunted buildings, cursed forests, and other places with tragic histories. Did you know that enough pain, trauma, inhuman experiments and such practices are almost rituals over time? Often, they lead to the creations of ghosts or spirits that are haunted by eternal pain and torment. These poor beings are then forced by their nature to spread the pain, or buildings that come alive and start thirsting for yet more victims. Often the only way to get rid of them is to destroy the buildings in question." The Lich gave a sinister smile. "They will defend themselves and their homes naturally. Add in that a lot of such places have protection as historic monuments, and you have a lot of death-traps spread out all over the world. Often the 'Do not 'enter' is a good warning."

The herd shifted closer, causing both Isabelle and Samantha to feel a little intimidated.

"Amusingly, the 'Black Forest' in Germany, the untranslated name 'Schwarzwald', is not haunted." Zaria threw in, she pointed at a picture on the wall. "It was just a refuge for were-beings and others for a long time. Single people often ran afoul something at night, and the large cleansing excursions everyone knew about and hid from long before. There is a town of witches in it, they keep up the olden traditions and are pretty good at potions and natural magics. True witches are not really much into demon summoning, with a few exceptions, and are more on the call upon spirits, curse idiots, and influence humanity side of the spectrum." She pointed at another picture. "That former asylum there was one of those where human experimentation had happened. Been there, the area is so large that pretty much only total destruction is a way out since every stone and the very earth are cursed by the pain and haunted by both the tormentors and the tormented."

The way the usually amused kitsune spoke was very telling.

Isabelle got distracted by Samantha burrowing into her side, and the herd pressing against her from the back and the other side. Why was she the only one who they crowded around, and why was the probably proud wolf acting more and more like a puppy. "So safe if you stay away?" She decided to ask.

"Most of these places are, there are always exceptions, but the usual places are that, places to stay away. The ones that possess you are a different story." Zaria finished.

"And a lot easier to cure, possession is easy to get rid of. And I don't mean that freakshow in the movies. Lower ghosts or haunts will flee any being with sufficient power, any museum with history is haunted by something, in the case of this museum they don't act up unless someone is stupid enough to try to rob the museum. There is a reason why robberies are rare."

Isabelle took a moment to digest this. "So, because you are powerful, the ghosts and spirits in the museum don't act up, unless someone does something like trying to rob you."

"Very good." The Lich praised. "I am the leader and Master here, if you heard it before 'Bend the Weak to you Will' is not just a phrase in our world. There is meaning behind it, and it does not have to be negative. The weak gain the protection from the strong, humanity thinks everyone is equal, but they are not. The rich think money is everything, but that is not it either."

Their tour guide said. "Now here is the first real exhibit." He pointed at a metal watering can. "It is rather harmless and annoying honestly, but funny when you think about it. This little watering can is special, it helps what the user thinks of as weeds to grow."

The group stared at the very innocent looking watering can. It was a little old style, but still looked in a good enough shape that it seemed like it could still be used even now.

"Amusingly, a druid cursed it." He added. "She got annoyed at one of her neighbours who was all about bred flowers that had a short life and strong colours and smell."

Isabelle was not surprised at all the nods around her and the lack of care from Samantha. Her puppy was clearly one of the carnivore factions.

"I heard the watering turned the first victims garden into a first-class herbal heaven." Zaria chirped.

Something nagged at Isabelle, she took a look at the clearly amused albino.

"No, it wasn't me."

And got her mind read again.

"And I don't read minds unless I have to."

Isabelle wondered if Zaria knew what privacy meant.

"Look who's talking."

Isabelle looked to her right, the puppy plastered against her side, to her left what could only be a cowgirl brushing against her, and she had no delusions what was pressing in her back. "Next item?" She tried to distract from her situation.

"Come here for what we call the 'Walking Stick of the Lost'. Whoever uses it, gets lost, really effective outside or even worse in a forest. However, a certain Lord in England who was known to have a really bad sense of direction, supposedly managed to get lost in his castle for a week. They found him starving and drunk out of his mind after he somehow managed to get into the wine cellar which was in a different building."

All the girls examined the nice dark wood walking stick with a rather nice silver wolf handle that found approval from Samantha.

"It is a very nice walking stick, that got used a lot over the centuries, and gave that family and a few other families the reputation of having a terrible sense of direction."

The girls followed to the next exhibit. It was an innocent looking camping lamp. "This one causes mosquitoes to be attracted to all that use it."

Everyone took a few steps back.

"It is a good way to get all the illegal campers out of restricted zones."

"That is kind of evil!" Samantha shuddered. "Those bloodsuckers are plain evil!"

Isabelle was sure there was history behind that. "There there." She petted the puppy again.

"My parents are very fond of camping." Samantha complained with a whine.

"I am afraid the next one is for camping too, but nothing as bad as the other one." He led the group over to a fishing pole. "There is no record that anyone using it ever caught something, but they all had a good nap and when they woke all the bait was gone."

"That one is weird." Isabelle commented.

"The curse is to not catch anything and fall asleep. Nobody is sure how the bait gets snatched, might be birds or the fish snatching it."

"Fish on land?" Samantha asked, surprised by that.

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt." Zaria confirmed it in a rather weird way.

"You were a fish on land?"

"Nothing like turning into a megalodon to scare people that think collecting exotic specimens comes without a price."

"Megalodon like in the movies?" one of the older cowgirls asked.

Zaria made a full toothed smile. "Having a large mouth full of sharp teeth flopping your way and snapping at you sure makes people change their mind quickly about collecting animals illegally."

Why was it that everything turned into disturbing information, Isabelle wondered, but then again it was a cursed exhibit.

"Here is the next one, it is a nice raincoat. Only no matter what the outside temperature and weather actually is, you will always overheat."

"Bad prank?" One of the possibly human girls asked.

"Probably, no idea who did it, but it is useful if you want to warm up in a blizzard." The Lich commented.

"That is oddly specific."

The Lich pointed at the sign next to the raincoat.

The group clustered around it and checked out the sign. "The last victim of this coat was found to have died from overheating during a blizzard." It was morbid irony for sure.

The next exhibit was rather harmless too, it was a pair of boots that did not do anything but make you take the scenic route to where-ever you wanted to go. And it really meant that it was actually perfect for exploring the sights in new cities. It made being on time impossible though.

"This jacket is meaner though." The Lich presented a rather nice-looking leather jacket. "This one has loose pockets, all of them are cursed to make things fall out at the worst possible moments to make sure you miss them when you need them and never get them back." The Lich grinned amused. "The original owner got arrested for not paying the bill at a rather expensive restaurant, and then not having any identification."

"There is no common link between these things, they are all so random!" Isabelle complained.

"Well, the simple ones are things like cause insanity, death, organ failure, and changes to personality." The curator explained.

"That is simple?" Isabelle couldn't believe it.

"Simple as in rather direct effect." Zaria explained. “Something like the raincoat is simple too, boots that make you explore places you were never at before? That is totally different. A fishing rod making sure you sleep safely? The complexity is really on a different level."

It made sense, sort of, but seemed illogical. And from the looks of it all the girls seemed to have the same opinion.

"Why don't we switch to the items that were used at home?"

The group entered the next room, with a few other girls having joined them during the last room.

"Let us start with the terrible trio in the middle."

They were led to a nice canopy bed with a soft looking pillow and a night lamp next to it on a nightstand.

It looked perfectly comfortable.

"The lamp causes you to fall asleep when you switch it on, you won't wake until someone switches it off."

That sounded simple, and reversed from normal.

"The pillow causes the one sleeping on it to wet the bed."

That was kind of childish and disgusting.

"And the bed makes you have nightmares while sleeping."

That was actually terrible. And together with the other two? It was really evil.

"Bedrooms are popular for slow and more subtle curses. Assassination too actually." came the explanation.

"Now we go clockwise from the door. This is the coat rack of relaxation. It creates a zone of relaxation; it gets stronger over time. You start feeling lazy, until finally eating and drinking is too much work and you die."

That made everyone stay far away, and the seals affixed to the glass encasing it made Isabelle look at Zaria.

"Yes, I made those, it wouldn't be good if museum visitors went looking for corners to nap in."

And there she went mind reading again.

"It is not mind reading!"

Ignoring the amusing side show their guide led the group to the next item. It was a full encyclopaedia, made up of 16 tomes.

"You know how paper-cuts hurt?"

Everyone nodded.

"Each page is a paper-cut."

Everyone stepped away. "That is cruel and kind of sounds like you'd get your hands shredded."

The sign said that the last four owners had died from blood loss.

"This one is actually really safe, aside of the paranoia that you might accidently cut yourself." The kitchen knife gleamed and seemed the type able to cut through anything. "It was actually meant to be a teaching aid, to enforce proper knife handling. Well, the enchantment was a bit too strong, and was found to be more of a curse actually."

"Sounds useful, aside from the paranoia." A possibly cowgirl said after reading the description.

"The next one is another druid cursed item." The Lich commented amused. "It is rather weird for a druid item." It was a flower vase. "All flowers put in the vase will wilt very soon."

"Seems like a waste." One of the accompanying cowgirls said. There were a lot of agreeing noises from the other members of the herd.

"Toys are targets too actually." The Lich pointed at a pair of normal household slippers. "These make sure you step on Lego pieces."

Everyone winced. The only consolation was that it was not barefoot, however it was soft slippers so it was only a small consolation.

"This dog costume was a present for a favoured pet of a rich man. He wanted it to be more realistic, so he had it enchanted, it was less fun over time the wearer started to behave really like a dog. Including chewing on things and peeing in corners."

"Ewww." was the common opinion on that.

"Then this one will be more to your liking, we keep the clock unwound, but it tends to wind up itself when we are not looking. I present to you the hypnotic clock." The Lich waved dramatically at a nice wind-up clock. "You easily start staring at it, losing your sense of time, and suddenly hours have passed. So, don't stare too long at it."

Everyone looked at it and wondered how it worked.

A clap made them look at Zaria. "You have been staring for several minutes, now imagine if it were wound up." The kitsune in human disguise hinted at the group.

Suddenly the harmless clock did not seem as harmless any more. Something that seemed to be the theme here.

"Now for something fun." The Lich promised. "Feel free to right this painting."

Nobody was willing to approach the painting.

"Really, it is harmless, even if it is slightly annoying." The Lich promised.

After several moments of sharing looks, everyone's eyes landed on Samantha. The wolfgirl whined weekly and seemed less than willing to become the one to step forward. However, after several moments she gave into peer pressure. She corrected it, found it was still hanging askew. Then the others started offering advice. For some reason one said left while the other said right. They even disagreed with each other over which side was higher or lower and for far off it was too.

After a while the sacrifice gave up with a frustrated growl.

"This is why it is one of the few items we allow visitors to touch." The curator explained. "This next one is another one that is allowed to be sort of used. Please look into the vanity mirror."

Isabelle found a few strands of hair out of place.
Samantha reapplied her lip-gloss.
Everyone looking into it found something out of place, then something else was out of place, and another thing.

"Enough girls!" Zaria herded everyone away ignoring all complaints coming her way. "This one is meant to always show you something out of place, and no matter how much you try to fix your appearance, you will always find something else."

This one was the evillest one yet the girls decided.

The next one was a mirror as well, however this time it was behind a glass that was covered in talismans.

"This one normally causes you to become haunted by a shadow for 13 days." They all looked at the mirror from afar, and still saw shadows lurking behind them, or rather only in the mirror.

"This mirror has driven many people insane. 13 days is a long time when you see a shadow out of the corners of your eyes all the time and follow you around everywhere."

That sounded rather creepy.

"And yes, people become paranoid easily, and many broke before that." The lich led his group to the last exhibit in this room. "This one is more annoying and amusing. Any of you have an umbrella you don't like? Feel free to put it in and try to take it back, you will get a different one back. Nobody managed to get his umbrella back yet in all the time it has existed."

One of the cowgirls was a little too prepared for anything and placed her simple folding umbrella inside, only to pull out a nice black and white spotted umbrella that seemed to appeal much more to her. The next cowgirl was unlucky and retrieved a glaring pink little girl umbrella with white hearts. After several tries it was exchanged for a simple grey one.

The group returned to the centre of the exhibit.

"I guess weapons are next." The Lich motioned everyone to enter the opposite room. "The room next to it has the religious exhibit." The Lich continued with obvious distaste.

"May I remind you that I am both a cleric and a shrine maiden?" Zaria sounded annoyed.

The Lich waved his hand at her. "Oh please, comparing someone like you with your inherently chaotic nature and true power to those useless stiffs? That is like saying chemically grown tomatoes have the same value as those grown biologically and under real sun."

"First however are weapons, over there the information can be summed up simply like this. The hate, fear, lost lives, will to live, and pain in war and battle can cause artifacts to be created spontaneously. Believing something is a good luck talisman or the opposite. The insane that only wishes to kill any more. Sometimes even the very places become cursed and thirst for more blood."

It was rather morbid. It sounded like nowhere was safe.

"Some are rather funny though, see this boomerang here?"

The item in question was a boomerang made out of light brown wood and it looked old.

"Boomerangs are actually hunting weapons. The aborigines in Australia used them to hunt animals. With a good hit you can break someone's neck. This one is actually cursed by a shaman to hit the one throwing it in the back, non-fatally but painfully. My guess is that some tourists managed to annoy the tribe."

It was a sort of petty revenge. "Basically, the toys we have now were hunting weapons originally. And that annoyed the tribe?"

"Could be because the tourists bought them as souvenirs." Zaria added. "Imagine your weapons getting bought, used as toys, or presented as primitive weapons. Throwing a boomerang and hitting an emu is not as easy as it sounds, they can run quite quickly."

"You are faster." Samantha pointed out.

"I outrun cars easily, I don't count." Zaria deflected.

That caused a lot of disbelieving looks. Samantha just nodded in conviction. "I still prefer teleportation, the best way to travel."

"Now you are bragging." The Lich intervened amused. "I think you are the only one that simply teleports to the moon and returns without any negative side-effects."

Once more there were a lot of incredulous looks.

The anomaly in question just shrugged. "It is dusty and boring, aside from the moon bunny colony. All those fluffy ears~ <3"

"Moon bunnies, they actually exist?" A probably human member of the club asked.

The kitsune simply nodded. "We have one at school actually."

That caused a lot of "Ohh" and a few "Moo" as a response.

Isabelle had trouble imagining what a moon bunny looked like.

"Think anime bunny girl, the tall type." Zaria explained.

Isabelle wondered if Zaria would ever stop reading her mind.

"It was obvious, you seemed thoughtful, so I guessed you were trying to imagine them."

Isabelle wondered if that was all it was.

"Most people are easy to read."

"Like your puppy here." The Lich pointed at Samantha.

The girl in question complained with a whine. "I am not a puppy."

"Next item? This dagger here, it is one of the accident items. Only you are more likely to cut or stab yourself then somebody else. There are simply more accidents than clumsiness could ever hope to explain. It was a part of a roman soldier's equipment, so it was in a lot of combat, and all users managed to cut themselves it seems."

It was a simple slightly leaf shaped dagger, a few grooves were carved and it looked still functional.

"Let's continue with the equipment of soldiers. A shield, used by knights in the middle ages." It was a large steel shield, and it looked still in very good condition, like a lot of the cursed items actually. "This one actually causes its wearer to feel invincible, taken as a trophy after the knight was slain it got used again, and feeling invincible the knight will inevitably get killed yet again. The curse of hubris is strong on it."

It was another rather morbid item.

"Over here, the 'Pistol of Misfire'. It is another of the more complex than you suspect items. It will either not fire when you need it, or fire when you don't want to. It is the top one of this set of duelling pistols. You probably saw it in movies, but duels were popular before and a matter of honour. There was a Lord that wanted to make sure he won. After many duels one day he dropped the box with his prized pistols, and it shot him. It got reused again and again until finally it was over for 'honour duels'."

"He got done in by his own ordered pistol." Isabelle thought this was really ironic.

The Lich nodded and spoke in a solemn tone. "Just another fool who wanted an advantage and got done in by his own folly. Why not simply enchant a pistol with better aiming, faster draw, or automatic hitting. No, he wanted to see despair on his opponents faces, and then found his own end because of it."

"The final exhibit is a little morbid." The Lich pointed at a dog tag. "This is the tag of a series of police dogs, all of them got lost and only the tag was ever found of them. After too many dogs were lost someone realized something was off, and retired the dog tag."

"Poor doggies." was the common and approved response.

"Along the walls you have stories of battlefields, haunted places where you can still feel death, and more bloodshed. If you follow me, it is time to take a look at religion and their mostly useless attempts to correct things. Ironically the Vatican has the biggest collection of cursed items in the world. Everything they couldn't dispel, they stashed there, and over time it became a lot, naturally they don't admit that there are things they can't handle. Bad publicity and all that."

That was a rather negative view on religion. Then again, their tour guide was undead, and the other tour guide was a very random shrine maiden of a deity most people did not believe to be a deity.

"Here we have the only real artifact. A cursed priest's mantle. It is a trigger item, as long as the priest is true to his calling, he is safe and can use it normally. If he oversteps his position, you know the usual enjoying girls, boys, wives, bribes and such, then it becomes the 'Priests Mantle of Yandere Attraction'. I think all of you can imagine the fate of someone not faithful with such a curse."

"Yanderes are scary." A herd member muttered. It was something everyone agreed on.

The signs and info walls held information on exorcisms, blessings, purifications, and other rituals to dispel such items.

A lot of them were less than effective and caused death of the victim, or actually the item in question to get carried off to the secure vaults or the effects to be sealed with a seal that weakened naturally over time.

It made for some morbid reading and showed how few priests actually wielded power across most religions.

After most of the information was read the Lich led the rather silent group to the next exhibit.

It was clothing.

"This first one is not actually cursed. It is actually an enchanted item. You see the unseen, you all probably heard about multidimensional beings, it allows you to see all on this plane of existence and beings that overlap. Basically, you will see the world as Lady Kairan does. Illusions, transformations, and displaced beings come into view. This includes beings that are not meant for normal minds. More than one person has become a paranoid hermit or gone insane."

Isabelle looked at it curiously, she wondered what the world looked like on the Otherside.

"If you want, I can give you the sight, but it might not be a good place to do it though." Zaria offered.

"Really?"

"It is rather simple."

The Lich interrupted to correct that. "For someone like Lady Kairan it is simple. For someone like me, I would have to prepare the spell, prepare the reagents, then apply them to the person while casting the spell."

"And how would you cast the spell?" Isabelle asked Zaria.

"Poke the forehead."

It showed once again how weird the kitsune was, and seemingly even on the Otherside too.

"Speaking of hats, here we have a cowboy hat, it causes the wearer to go Yeehaw at inappropriate moments. You know that loud annoying cowboy call."

Everyone agreed that it was meant to be irritating.

"The opposite is opposite of it, pun intended, the 'Top Hat of Polite Speech' causes its wearer to speak in perfect Victorian English." The Lich explained in perfect oxford English.

Most actually had trouble imagining someone speaking like that.

"The Tie of the Survivor, this one attracts trouble, but makes sure you survive it. Almost getting killed a few times a day is not as awesome as it seems, most people go insane over time."

The sign next to it explained that it had been worn by a detective, who got killed before putting it on, then the mobster thought it was good to go on a killing spree, and got killed in his sleep after taking the tie off, then it had gone missing from evidence and had been found in the hands of a corrupt politician, he survived a poisoning only to die from another assassination at the hospital after he had been undressed.

"Sounds hectic." a cowgirl complained, clearly finding it annoying.

"Here we have a luxury for the rich. It is a deck of cards that causes the players to lose more than they win. Now you might say that usually there is one big winner and the others lose out on money. Somehow everyone manages to get out in the red here. Not even the winner returns with the starting amount."

"How does that work?" Samantha wondered with a frown.

"I have no idea." The Lich admitted casually. "The spells used are rather weird, a little mental manipulation, a little bad luck, but how the final pot is less than the starting amount? That needs some reality manipulation."

"Twisting reality has some weird effects." Zaria added. "It has weird side-effects at the best of the time. Reality going against logic and natural laws is a good sign that something supernatural is in effect. In this case it could have been a spell gone wrong, it wanted to twist reality that the owner always wins or the others lose. Somehow, it became that everyone loses, maybe because there is no defined owner or such. A casino wanting to make sure they always win is a good explanation too."

"Ohh, I like this one, technically it is not cursed. However, 'The Hat of Common Sense' is still a rather disturbing item. The wearer gains common sense. This sounds like nothing special, but imagine you are super rich and suddenly put on the hat only to realise you are a greedy useless waste of space that walks over corpses of others with your money making. Then there are less extreme examples, knowing you are actually making yourself and your family unhappy, realising that robbing a place is actually risky and only short term gain, that gambling means you always lose long term, and simple things that actually doing your homework and paying attention at school is actually useful."

The next item was a nice-looking headband for girls.

"Looks harmless, right?" Zaria spoke up. "It is a rather new item, from Japan actually, the effect is annoying though. The wearer becomes a tsundere, at least it is a nonviolent one."

The sounds of disbelief were naturally rather amused.

"So, why is it sealed up?" Isabelle asked, she knew she probably shouldn't ask but couldn't resist.

"Tsunderes are annoying." Zaria mumbled irritated. "Imagine having to work with a tsundere, getting her to speak her mind instead of what she thinks she should say? It comes down to having to read body language and surface thoughts to figure out what she actually wants. At least this is the non-violent version. Yanderes are straight forward at least and you can claim self-defence. Guess we are lucky it is not a hairband of the airhead."

"Airhead?" A probably human herd member wondered.

"Airheads are scary, you never know what they will do next."

Honestly, Isabelle thought it really amusing. Yanderes were the least annoying to her nonhuman friend, even if the 'claim self-defence' bit was a little scary. But airheads were a no no for her. It was funny.

"I am glad you are amused, just wait until I introduce you to one."

This time she understood, she had been giggling. So, it was obvious what she had thought. Then again Samantha and the herd seemed amused too.

"So true, being cursed with an airhead is the worst that can happen." The Lich commiserated.

"Aren't you two overreacting?" Samantha asked the duo.

"I know, introduce them to her."

"Oh, hell no!" Zaria declined.

The Lich however made his argument. "But meeting her will show them the horrors of the airhead."

"While you are right, I don't want her nearby."

"And leave them ignorant of the dangers?"

Zaria sighed, having lost the argument. She addressed the group. "Very well, I know an airhead that will show you the true horrors of airheads. You guys brought it on yourselves."

As far as threats went, Isabelle thought that it was the most amusing one she had ever heard. And that included some of the weird ones from anime and manga.

"If you want more things to ruin your day. You are a bit young for it, but this is the 'Tankard of Bad Beer' it makes any beer poured in taste like cheap American beer." The Lich shuddered. "It is truly a crime against reality."

Zaria snorted. "Amusingly, this one was done by a witch, a friend of hers complained about her drunk husband, so his favourite tankard got cursed. Once he sobered up, he divorced his wife."

That sounded like a bad comedy.

"Someone you know?" The old undead asked his white companion.

"The witch yes, the wife no."

"The next room is special, It has the precious items, and all of them are cursed. If you would please follow me."

This part had guards and the exhibits were better secured. It was a drastic change compared to before. "First is a rather ironic item. All the 'Ring of Curse' does is make the wearer think they are terribly cursed. When all the ring does is make you think you are terribly cursed. I wonder if it shouldn't be called the ring of irony instead."

"That sounds like it could make someone really paranoid." Isabelle said while petting Samantha who was glaring and growling at a large silver mirror.

"Because the puppy …" "Not a puppy!" "... wolf in our midst already saw it. Follow me to the 'Silver Mirror of Hell'. Just a little blood on the shiny surface and you get a portal to hell with devils streaming out of it."

That took a few moments to sink in, then everyone took several wide steps back.

Zaria decided to try to calm the herd before Isabelle and Samantha died by suffocation. "Don't worry, I enchanted the glass casing personally. A dreadnaught won't be able to chip an edge of the encasing. A bunker buster bomb won't be able to get through this. I didn't make it nuke secure though."

"Nuke secure?" Nobody was sure who asked, but that was far more specific than they liked.

Zaria nodded seriously. "For nuke safety you have the heat, physical force, and radiation to deal with. Physical and heat simply get upgraded, for radiation you need something that either absorbs radiation, or totally ignores it. Using a modified 'Wall of Force' layered into the item, you can basically make it near indestructible." Zaria remembered something. "And I don't mean that kind of force, even if I find the concept rather amusing. Honestly it seems to be a mix of psychic powers and magic, more on the psychic side though. Would explain the genetic predispositions, while magic is more a soul or belief thing. Some magic comes from blood, but that is more an ancestry or spontaneous thing."

"So it is safe?" A cowgirl asked.

"Things like that are never safe, only as safe as can be." The Lich corrected, not making the audience feel any safer.

"Next is a rather embarrassing one."

The item being introduced was a pretty amulet that actually a lot of the girls would have loved to wear.

"The 'Amulet of Wardrobe Malfunction' will pick an embarrassing moment to make your clothes have an accident, from tears in risqué places up to total loss of clothing."

The desire to wear it died quickly.

"I knew someone who had it gifted, she was a tsundere actually, after a rather exposing incident, it took her several months to agree to appear in public again, and that is even after I wiped everyone's memories."

That the chaotic overly powerful entity mentioned wiping memories so casually, it shouldn't be a surprise, but it sorts of was. You couldn't forget that she could make things atomic bomb proof. It was once again a sign of how utterly disconnected from normal reality the albino actually was. However, something nagged at Isabelle. "Wait, are the amulet and the mirror from your collection?"

Zaria confirmed ownership of those two items. "Yes, the mirror after a nasty clean up from a stupid cult who got itself killed. And the amulet from the tsundere."

"Speaking of ownership, follow me to the next one." The Lich continued to the next exhibit. "This is a cursed violin, it is perfectly made, sound and quality are like with the famous makers. However, once you play on it, you lose the ability to play well on all other violins. As if it took ownership of you. More than one violinist lost the ability to play on anything else, even practice instruments were impossible, it caused several suicides and more then one artist to quit or go insane."

That was a cruel one. Taking away the ability to play was something most girls could relate to in many situations.

A distraction was heard from behind them. "It should be fine to touch it, besides it's a succubus, everyone wants a succubus."

The girls turned and saw a group of older boys crowding a marble statue of a barely clad succubus. One of the boys, a rather popular one from the school, was groping the chest of the statue.

His popularity with Isabelle, Samantha, and the herd plummeted to zero.

"That was stupid." Zaria commented. "Stupid in more than one way. Not my problem."

"Boys are stupid. Groping the statue allows a succubus to possess you." The curator explained. "The statue was actually a training tool of a cult. The future head priestess let herself be possessed, during the possession she learned how to manipulate men, created contacts, seduced, learned sexual techniques, and gained experience. After seven years the succubus would leave her and she would officially take over as the new head priestess and would lead the cult and pick a successor. Naturally some went insane. Their body was not theirs to steer however they were still seeing and feeling everything."

The Lich now approached the statue while the girls stayed well away from the object that could possess them.

"Don't worry, you have to agree to it, like that little boy did." The old undead commented. "When he said he wanted a succubus, that should have been enough to allow the contract and become possessed."

The albino snorted amused. "Maybe a little extra, this is a demonic succubus possession, there are also native succubae. All demonic succubae have an aura to attract their preferred genders. The normal ones are pretty and are not slutty as opposed to the demonic ones. Might create a harem anyway. They tend to be motherly, caring, and family oriented."

One of the herd members nodded.

"The native ones are also more variable in their preferred genders. The lack of aura makes them basically normal females with horns, tails, wings, and a heightened libido. The demonic ones are the type you'd invite to a gangbang and then have them the last ones standing after having sucked everyone dry."

It was oddly crude, but the explanation seemed right somehow.

"Back to jewellery. This nice platinum ring is cursed to attract more cursed objects."

Considering the nature of many of the items they had seen, it was only natural that after a few moments the girls realized this was the scariest item of them all. Everyone was very eager to move on.

Only to be greeted by a rather disgusting picture of birds relieving themselves over what seemed to be a king or such who was wearing a pristine crown. A crown that was in the display next the painting looked a lot like the one the king was wearing.

"The 'Crown of Bird Droppings' was a rather effective revenge against a certain king in the middle ages. Wearing the crown made you a target for birds, and made sure they never missed."

"""""Ewwww""""" was the single-handed answer to it.

"Outside it was bad, however over time the curse strengthened and it was even inside that the wearer was found by birds. Greed, lust, sloth, and sheer idiocy turned it from a simple trigger item to a truly cursed crown that only someone really pure and innocent would be able to wear in now without becoming a target of a flock of birds."

It was disgusting, it was karma.

"The final precious item is this gold watch. It gives the wearer bad luck. It is an incredibly strong curse since it twists reality to make sure that you will go bankrupt, the wife finds out about your cheating, your car will get stolen, and your house will become infested with termites, appliances will break down and other such things."

"That is insane!" Samantha exclaimed. "You can't simply bend reality like that." Then she saw the albino. "Then again it is not impossible."

The herd and Isabelle had trouble imagining it.

"This concludes our more special and fancier exhibit. Last is a far more diverse and amusing collection. Don't forget to take notes. I will meet you all in the middle."

The schoolgirls took their time walking around, taking notes from the descriptions, and keeping a safe distance from everything.

------

The final hall was weird as in they heard someone slip, fall, and then curse before entering.

Upon entering they saw a schoolboy, probably around fifteen, getting up from the floor as a tour guide lifted a banana peel from the floor and placed it on a pedestal with a digital signboard above it reading "Hours since last Accident: 00"

Zaria snickered and commented. "That one is my fault actually." As everyone looked at her, she pointed at the banana peel. "As you know 'slipped on a banana peel' is something everyone heard about. However, I wanted to see it. So, I took a banana peel and enchanted it to make people slip because I wanted to see." Now the albino looked a little embarrassed. "I overdid it a little?"

"Creating a reality bending, short range teleportation, indestructible, forever slippery, invisible to the victim until it is too late, and randomly escaping banana peel is not a little." The Lich accused.

"You did what?" Isabelle asked to make sure she had heard right.

The Lich pointed at the innocent looking yellow object. "She cursed that thing so much that no matter what you do, containment or destruction is impossible. She unleashed an eternal item upon this world out of curiosity!"

"You have to admit, seeing people slip never gets old, and it is not like there is any lasting harm, pride aside."

"I broke my neck."

"Not like it caused you any harm, some magic, and it was all fixed." Zaria waved the Lich having broken his neck off as inconsequential.

The girls watched in morbid curiosity as the two insanely powerful beings bickered. And things that would have killed normal people were simply dismissed.

"I fell victim to it too! I slipped and fell off a skyscraper."

"Knowing you Lady Kairan, you either bounced, cratered the sidewalk, or wrecked a car on impact."

"Actually, I teleported back onto the roof, and had to wipe everyone's memories since they just saw a white-haired girl fall to her death."

"It even escaped into the Egyptian exhibit where Hannan slipped and tore her bandages!"

"I bet you had fun replacing them."

"That is not the point!"

Somehow things were getting weirder and weirder for the listening girls. Nobody wanted to interrupt, but after a lot of pleading looks Samantha stepped forward to interrupt the two bickering entities. She was a proud wolf after all, and the pleading looks from the herd had gotten to her. Actually, she really wished Isabelle would be the one doing it, but the human was just giving her an encouraging smile. She felt doom coming.

Then the world tilted as she yelped as she slipped on the banana peel.

"Moo?"

Her landing was soft as she managed to stay upright thanks to her lupine reflexes, it didn't stop her from making a slight spin and planting her face into the softness of an especially well-endowed herd member.

"Moo!"

Grabbing onto the cowgirl caused an embarrassed noise and when the wolfgirl could see again she realized where she had grabbed the older schoolgirl. She took a lot of sanity damage from comparing the two large and surprisingly firm breasts to her rather small ones.

Some races simply had unfair advantages, even if she was proud to be a wolf.

Zaria lifted the banana peel and chided it with a pat and a "That is enough, now behave for a while."

"Maybe I should add a counter? Accidents since the exhibit opened?"

"Call it 'Banana Peel Incidents', sounds less drastic."

The owner of the museum pulled out his phone and called someone. "I need another sign and a counter for the banana. Bring it right now, we will set it up now and improve it overnight."

"Why don't you handle the tour, and I set up the additional display?"

"Very well Zaria. Add a line how there were 27 slip ups during the construction of the exhibit, and one of the workers should have an actual number of the ones since the public opening yesterday, which you missed."

"I did not miss it, I chose not to attend, all those rich people and snobs are tedious."

Isabelle petted her puppy and pulled Samantha along who seemed rather down. At least the two tour guides had stopped bickering.

"Something amusing for you ladies, but the bane of all teenage males." The Lich showed a display with a porn magazine that had most of the cover covered up for censoring reasons. "The 'Porn Magazine of erectile Dysfunction' prevents the reader from getting it up. I can only guess some housewife or girlfriend cursed it somehow since her partner did not spend enough time with her. The effect lasts until the next morning so I think it is a fitting punishment. You really need to cherish your partners."

The girls reaction was snickering all around. It really seemed like a fitting punishment.

"Rather the opposite effect comes from this church bell. It was a bell at a church in one of those all-girls boarding schools for the rich and noble."

The rather large bell was pretty, and they were probably allowed to touch it since it was freely accessible. Since it was a part of the exhibit none of them approached close enough to touch.

"Whenever the 'Bell of Arousal' rang, everyone hearing it became aroused. First the school forbid any males on the premises after several pregnancies. It was only 150 years later, last year actually, that it was found out why the school had so many sexually active couples." The Lich grinned actually. "Zaria was the one who found out when she was scouring the world for a school to attend. It seems that by now it is tradition and even without the bell everyone is pairing off and orgies still happen."

The girls shared looks, then started blushing and taking enough distance from each other that they were not touching each other anymore. Samantha and the herd were rather reluctant to give up the contact.

Isabelle had trouble looking at any of the others. She was not an otaku, but she enjoyed her manga. And like a proper fan of good stories, it was impossible not to stumble across yuri. A bell capable of turning a school into yuri heaven? There were several stories about all girl schools. Now that she remembered Samantha clinging to her and the others pressing those into her … she blushed some more. Then she looked at the albino who was watching with a knowing smile. When the beautiful kitsune threw her a kiss she turned away. Now she had trouble looking at any of them, all the girls around her ranged from cute to beautiful, in Zaria's case impossibly beautiful.

It was a far more awkward and self-conscious group that the Lich herded off to the next exhibit. It was nice being able to play with the young ones. And it was really amusing too, Zaria might be a headache of the highest grade, and a catastrophe waiting to happen, but she had found a very amusing human. Sometimes there were humans that seemed to draw beings from their side to them. He wondered why it was all girls though. The White Menace seemed to watch it all like an amused pet owner. Well, their kind had to get their entertainment where they could, it kept the centuries and millennia from getting monotone and stale.

The next item was a large stuffed parrot, that looked like it would fit into a zoo or nature museum more than a history one. It was also heavily warded. "This is the 'Parrot of Random Language'. The owner or someone touching it, will understand all languages, however any answers will be made in a random language that the ones listening doesn’t understand."

The group peered at the colourful stuffed bird curiously.

"I have seen people start writing runes, binary, and some start to use sign languages. A situation reminiscent of the tower of babel. Trying to mimic something becomes some sort of ritual dance. Up to date the only person who is mostly immune is her since she understands all languages, and she is also the current custodian of it, officially the owner is an imprisoned mass murderer that is also a delusional cultist. So, no harm done if nobody can understand his rants."

The irony of being able to shut up an insane murderer with a cursed item was too good.

"It's not liked all curses are evil."

Now the Lich started reading her too.

"I now understand why you amuse her."

She needed to learn to not show her emotions, clearly there were far too many beings out there that could read someone like a book.

"That would be a waste, a stiff frozen face does not suit you, and it would be a waste of your ancestry. The Irish are an expressive folk. They were always nice once they warmed up when I was in Eire."

The next item they were led to was a puzzle box. "This is the 'puzzle box of Disappearing People'. We know that finishing it opens a portal to some hellish dimension, probably unleashing untold horrors upon those that solve it, but the official story is that all people who had and tried to solve it, were kidnapped and probably murdered."

That sounded oddly familiar.

"There is a series of movies inspired by it. Amusingly fiction is often inspired by reality, and in this case it really holds true. Nobody knows what horrors exactly. Especially since all those watching disappeared, but I am not about to try." The Lich led them away from the now creepy item. "Now for something funnier, a cursed 'Game of Life'. Whatever happens to you in the game, will happen to you in real life, only in a minor version."

The group crowded around the game, it looked perfectly normal, figurines, dice, cards, and a board.
Isabelle lamented her lost personal space again, and suspected that the herd was getting touchier over time.

"That means win money, lose money, have an accident, or any others will happen to you." There came a sinister smirk. "As a side rule it seems that the winner will have only the good things happen to them, and the last one only all bad. It is one of those once you start you need to finish situations. The cards seem to change as well depending on the players."

The Lich looked around and then explained: "It is one of those reality twisting items that either a lot of people put power into, or only someone like her or another deity could only create."

Everyone peered past the bell at the albino who was currently using a brush and paint to write something on a newly arrived stand and sign. Clearly, she was also ordering the museum staff that had arrived around. Then one of the workers slipped on the banana peel and fell onto the can of paint covering herself in black paint.

"Another one bites the dust." Samantha mumbled.

The owner of the museum sighed in misery. "It would be interesting I thought, it would be amusing I imagined. That thing is a menace!"

Everyone agreed, especially Samantha.

"Here is a reversal, where fiction inspired a curse. Wearing the item makes you want to swing a machete around, and prolonged usage makes you want to use it. It is suspected that a fan of the first movie created it, and then his prolonged usage of it caused incidents that inspired further movies. If you don't know the movie, it is a slasher horror movie. It is a lot like the cave painting when you wear it."

The collective group shuddered at the memory, then imagined having the urge to swing a machete, that did not sound safe at all!

"This one is a mean one." The glass contained only one item, a sharp edged Lego block. "This one is enchanted to hide from the senses, fall onto a path where people walk, make people forget to wear their slippers, and amplifies the pain of stepping on it."

Everyone cringed.

"A good example of several simple enchantments creating a powerful cursed item. This one has claimed many a foot."

The group saw a cup and three die in the next exhibit.

"Another reality altering item. We had luck items before. This one is absurd in the regard that it changes a person's luck permanently the moment they roll them. A 3 is really unlucky while the 18 is the luckiest a person can naturally be. You can roll again naturally, but you have to want it, and you know if you do, it will shorten your lifespan."

It was to the group another of the 'stay away' items.

"Now for our last item, something amusing, I present you the 'Baseball Bat of Groin Strike'. In every game it has been used in, and it tends to blend into the other bats somehow, it has made a baseball hit at least one groin. It was still a popular bat since it often hit someone in the viewing stands, free home runs."

There was a pause as everyone imagined it. Then came the cringes, females were sensitive down there too, it was just that men were squishier down there, and had more that could be damaged.

"I guess someone disliked baseball, or wanted revenge on someone or a team. Since it is situational, it is actually a rather safe item, painful yes, but it is enchanted so that it does not inflict permanent damage."

The Lich led the group to the partition. "Now while I check what she has done to the banana peel exhibit, you girls go in and watch the movie. It is about 'experts' talking about superstition and how the paranormal does not exist, and other 'experts' talking how the paranormal exists and how fancy toys can show a reaction. Most of it is not true naturally, but I suspect your teacher will want a 'scientific view'. Class dismissed."

The girls entered and found a nice movie theatre built. They sat and Isabelle found Samantha at her right, and the herd seated all around them.

She decided not to let it bother her, even if there were large chests everywhere, and relaxed into her seat to watch the incorrect scientific documentary.

------

After watching the movie from middle to middle the girls ventured out.
The group checked their notes on their favoured item for their reports, some wondered if they needed more notes and should recheck the exhibits.
They chatted as they discussed ideas and compared notes as they moved towards the banana where they saw Zaria and their host talking.

A new sign was placed next to the banana peel's pedestal.

"Incidents since arrival:
Museum Staff during Exhibit Construction: 27
Visitors and Exhibit Maintenance: 32
Please flip the counter if you see another Incident
Please return the banana peel to pedestal if found causing Incidents"

"The museum opens at 9, right?" Isabelle asked the Lich, after all she had seen here the polite undead somehow didn't faze her any more.

"At 8am actually, now it is 1:43pm. 32 accidents." There was a thump nearby and some cursing. "Make that 33 accidents since opening, it is just showing how defenceless normal people are against such things."

Isabelle had to agree. Especially since everyone was clustered behind her, and Samantha was once again glued to her side.

"Now, everyone has their notes?"

There was a mix of agreeing and disagreeing sounds.

"Then go, walk around, finish your notes, and I'll invite you all to lunch. Or I would have if Lady Kairan hadn't already gone over to commandeer the outside kitchen." The undead shook his head. "She takes her food really seriously."

Isabelle was sure that if Samantha had a tail it would be wagging now. "Sammy stop drooling." she ordered. Then she realized several members of the herd seemed eager too.

"I know there are a lot of great cooks in this world, a lot of them have been inspired after eating something she made from scratch. She does exceptional things with mass produced things, eating something she has grown herself?" Now the Lich started to drool.

Isabelle had to admit that he was right, her meat consumption had really increased lately, but it was so good, and the deserts!

"Now why don't we go towards the exit and then to the pavilion outside." He led the group to the centre and down towards the exit. "Here we have the exit hall. We lined them with some of the funnier stories …" There was a shriek and everyone suspected the banana peel had claimed another victim. "... from the current times and information on some of the current more serious curse breaking and mysticism hunting groups."

The Lich pointed at a display about a group of abandoned haunted building explorers. "Officially they disappeared, practically exploring a supposedly haunted asylum is never a good idea, especially if there is a history of 'experimental treatments' involved that is often of the inhumane kind."

All six members of the group had vanished, blood had been found at the scene, but they had found no bodies.

"Stay away, stay safe." An older herd member mumbled. "I think I will skip on found items and abandoned places."

It was a sentiment everyone shared.

"Over here we have something funnier. This treasure hunting group found pirate gold; the natives had warned them. Upon their return they found themselves falling asleep in a fog bank, then upon their waking up their boat had been plundered of everything that was not securely attached, including clothing they wore and the mattresses they slept on. Anything that could be easily unplugged or unscrewed was taken too. They were adrift for two days before they were saved."

Samantha saw the next display and it caught her attention. "Oh, the Bermuda Triangle!"

"Is not as interesting as it sounds. Leylines converge there, that much power does funny things to time, space, and reality. The result is heaven for anomalies, shifts in reality, divergence in probabilities, home to monsters, and dimensional rips. On the last display you will see that earth has more such spots. The other most well-known is the Sargasso sea by japan. Amusingly the Japanese were rather sensible and declared it an unsafe zone when their exploratory ship disappeared."

"An exploratory ship vanished?" Someone of the big breasted variety wondered.

"The decision for the government was simple then, 'our special ship is gone, so no others are safe'. Seems like a rather sensible decision for politicians."

It sounded logical, but considering how many acted in movies and news, it wouldn't have surprised them if someone had decided to carpet bomb the area.

"Finally, here we are at the end. There you have simple rules about how to deal with cursed items. Since you go to the same school as her, your main rule should be, ask her."

That sounded sensible on one hand, on the other hand considering how hard it was for Sammy to approach the unhinged kitsune, she wondered if it was really that easy. Then she saw the herd nodding. Maybe it was really just a question of mentality?

------

The Lich led the group outside past the restaurant outside into the gardens. Where they saw a pavilion and benches set up, and Zaria ordering several cooks around as the albino had gotten a chef’s hat and an apron from somewhere and had clearly commandeered the cooking.

Then she simply ignored the waiting customers. "Here girls. Old man, a classic pilaw. Isabelle, salad with some nice juicy skewers. Samantha steak and potatoes with tomatoes sliced and a splash pumpkin oil. Herd members get salads with chicken or cheese." The albino pointed at a prepared line of dishes. "The next chickens are done, the trout needs another splash of garlic, turn the salmon, how are we on the soup?"

Isabelle had the feeling that Zaria was having fun.

"Ahh, she always gets the taste just right, no matter who else I have trying the recipe, they never manage." The Lich mumbled in satisfaction.

Isabelle nodded but something felt off. "I agree, but her normal lunch tastes better."

The Lich dropped his spoon.

Sammy was gnawing on the bone. "Usually, she probably picks the ingredients herself."

"You are eating her food regularly?" The envy in the voice was clear as day.

The two non-herd members nodded while chewing.

"I share my portion with Sammy." Isabelle admitted. "A little too much meat for my taste, aren't foxes omnivore usually?"

"Shoo gud"

"Sammy, swallow, then talk."

The wolfgirl decided not to talk and focus on eating instead.

A look around the table showed that everyone was very satisfied with their dishes.

A look at other tables showed a lot of confused students, a lot of satisfied looks too.

Then Isabelle realized something. "We didn't pay."

Everyone at the table froze.

"If anything, I should be paying." The Lich mumbled between bites. "Do you know how much the catering from a three-star chef cost me for sixty people yesterday? Not counting the dishes, just the cooks time, and having him show up and serve? She is probably ten times that good."

Everyone looked down at their plates.

"Next time I might just ask her to cook, and hire the herds maid service."

Isabelle and Samantha looked at the herd.

The oldest one finished chewing. "We have a maid café and we have a maid service for cleaning. I heard that our rates are very good. Other establishments even hire us for cleaning."

Samantha fidgeted. "I should clean up my room."

Isabelle thought about her room, and nodded in agreement, it was not messy, but dusting and vacuuming was needed.

The Lich nodded in agreement. "I am really tempted to replace my cleaning staff sometimes, but unfortunately considering some of the exhibits it is not that easy. But for the next event I am going to hire you probably if I can get her to agree."

The group continued eating, rather focused on the dishes.

"Desert. Dates for the chief, stewed fruit for the ladies." One of the cooks approached. "The fruits have a splash of dark chocolate, the dates a little cream and a splash of something I can't read that she said is from your personal stash."

For some reason the Lich did not seem offended that Zaria had helped herself to his stash. Instead, he took to eating his desert with delight.

The group felt satisfied, it had been interesting, even if terrifying. They had eaten well.

Now teachers were running around, trying to gather the students to send them back in the busses.

------

Isabelle and Samantha found themselves surrounded by the herd in the bus. A teacher had managed to collect them and sent them to a bus.

"You! What are you doing here?" An older boy approached Zaria who was sitting next to one of the cowgirls this time.

"Sitting?" Then she looked at the boy again. "Ah, the idiot who got himself possessed."

"Yes, he was pretty stupid, but it was his fault, you have no reason to exorcise me this time."

Zaria frowned. "This time?"

"You don't remember, it was almost 200 years ago!"

"No idea?" Zaria thought, but had no idea. "Now shoo, don't you have boys and men to seduce?"

"It is going to be interesting using that thing. It is my first time in a male body." The boy turned and left for his friends.

"Uhm?"

"Idiot jock got himself possessed by a succubus from the statue at the museum." The albino explained.

"He is rather popular though? I heard how wonderful he is several times." Isabelle interjected.

"Really? So rich and stupid? Who is he at school anyway?" Zaria wondered.

(who he is will be decided by the poll below)