The first solid thought that went through TO’s head was a simple question; How many people?

TO was feeling better. Their mind was settling - or at least it wasn’t drifting aimlessly anymore. It was like their mind was starting up again; it was an engine that had been off for a while and was just revving up and working again.

And the first thing that came to their mind when that happened was how the agent twisted in the air the second time they shot them with the multi-gun’s blaster setting. Were they dead then, or still alive? Unconscious? Were they scared? Did they have a family? A mate? Was there blood in the suit? 

What about the other officers? How many fell? TO only saw one hit the ground, their body folding over itself. The others hadn’t gotten involved when they were dealing with the situation.

No dealing. Killing. Murdering. The agent hadn’t been a synth and hadn’t been an insurgent. It wasn’t an ‘unfortunate death in the service of King Decon’ it was murder. 

They didn’t mean to. They didn’t want to kill anyone-

That didn’t matter.

-they just had to stop them from shooting Tham-

Tham; an insurgent. An agent and a handful of officers died so that an insurgent could escape. 

-so they could get away. Besides, it was the agent shot first, right?

“TO, are you asleep?”

TO jolted; no, they hadn’t been asleep. They had been curled up, their head in their hands, their back to DH and Tham. When their mind was just drifting, their only concern was to not think about the wound on Tham’s arm, or the blood that oozed from it, that invoked the smells, the sounds of cracking bone that made them want to throw up .

They had been fine. Then their brain worked again. 

“No.” TO said in a small, tense voice, “No, I'm not.”

They heard DH come up behind them and felt their weight on the mattress as they sat on the edge of the bed.

“How are you feeling?” DH asked as they gently pulled TO over onto their back, being careful of their wings as they did. “Do you feel sick?”

“No.” They didn’t. They did. They felt like there was too much in them to feel anything; the cataclysm of thoughts that spiraled in their head consumed anything they might be feeling.

“GiDi messaged.” They said, “They wanted to visit, but I said no-”

“Why?” TO sat up slowly. DH reached forward, a warm, firm hand on their back as they helped TO up. 

“I didn’t know how you felt.” They said, “I said that when you felt up to it, we could go to the common room. They got Lendulin, and Petra-”

Lendulin and Petra were safe. Yes, they could focus on that for now. “Where are they?” TO asked, “Are they ok?”

“As far as I know.” DH said, “Goretta is free now too. Flit and Snout are awake, and they want to see everyone-”

“They want to talk about your friend.” Tham said. TO had forgotten he was still there. Their eyes darted over to him, glanced at the bandage that covered his arm. It seemed so much smaller than it should have; in TO’s mind the wound was massive, but the bandage only wrapped around just under his shoulder in a band no thicker than the width of TO’s hand. Tham was rubbing at his shoulder, and wincing as he tried to rotate his shoulder. 

“Avery?” TO asked, frowning. Was something wrong with Avery? Were they alright? No, of course they weren’t alright, they hadn’t been alright since they came here. Did something else happen while they were gone?

“Avery is alright; relatively speaking.” DH said as they opened their pack once more and dug through it, “I’ve been with them, and I’ve been giving them the medication they were taking with their food. Well…” Their ears flicked down, “I’ve been giving them half doses. I don’t have a lot here with me. If we got to their ship, they’d have the medication they need.” They pulled out a long, triangular piece of fabric and got up. 

“The other one.” Tham said as DH approached them with a sling. He shook his head, but DH gave him a hard look.

“You need to rest the arm, so you’re putting it in a sling.” they said, taking on that same firm tone that refused to be argued with, reserved for medical emergencies. Tham looked like he might argue, but huffed and let DH do their work.

“... Do you mean Kei?” TO asked once DH started tying the sling.

“Yes, that’s it.” Tham said, “Goretta wants to talk about the procedure.” 

It took TO a moment to remember what Tham was talking about. Right, the procedure. Altering Kei’s mind - putting it back in a rough, natural state. 

“Why do they want to talk to us about that?” TO asked with a huff. They had more important things to worry about; Avery, Petra, Lendulin, bodies twisting in the air or bending unnaturally as they struck rock. 

“They thought you’d have an opinion on it.” Tham said, “I guess not.”

“Whatever you decide to do.” TO said. 

“We’ll still go to the common room.” DH said as they finished tying the sling. “Avery and GiDi are there, and I want to see Lendulin.” Their ears dipped down as they looked to TO, “I’m guessing all her work was ruined…”

Of course, her paintings! They were all on display in Thalassa and would have been swept away by the water. Even if the shattering the dome and the flood afterwards didn’t destroy the paintings, the water and all the muck in the water must have ruined them entirely. 

“I suppose so.” TO said, “At least there're pictures?” even as they said that, TO knew that the pictures weren’t any comparison to the original pictures.

“You know about all that, then.” Tham said, “That she’s the actual artist for that fraud?” 

TO nodded, “Yes, we found out a little before the show.”

Tham shrugged. “We considered exposing him.” Tham said, “Got Pearla to ask some questions, see what Lendulin would think of that, but she doesn’t want the extra attention. If he gets exposed, so does she. She says it’s fine to continue like this.” 

“It’s not.” DH said, their ears pinning back, “But it’s what she wants. She thinks things will just get worse for her if there’s attention on her.”

“Yeah… and she’s probably not wrong.” Tham said. “There are other planets where she might have a better time, but space travel is expensive.” He shrugged, winced as he moved his bad arm, and then gently rubbed at his shoulder.

“Maybe Goretta has some painkillers for you.” DH said. They put the last of their tools back in their bag and slung it over their own shoulder before heading to TO, “Do you want to go, or stay here?” They asked, “If you just want some time alone to rest-”

TO did still feel tired, and a little dizzy, but the idea of being alone, separated again from DH, filled them with a strange dread. They knew that if they were alone in the quiet right now that they’d just think about the bodies in the water, the way the agent twisted in the air. They’d count the deaths, wonder if any of those people had mates, had children-

“I’m coming.” TO said, swinging their feet over the edge of the bed and getting up quickly; too quickly as dizziness overcame them for a second, and they had to hold on to DH’s shoulder. DH held them by the arms, and TO clung to them as though doing so might stop the way the world was swaying before them. 

“You sure you’re ok?” 

“Fine.” TO lied, “I’ll be fine. I don’t want to stay here.”

“Alright.” DH said as they slowly let go of TO’s arms, “But you tell me if you need rest, ok?” 

“Of course.” TO said. They didn’t need rest, though; they needed other people. TO needed a distraction, and needed to see Petra, and see just how much she hated them now.

Even that was better than letting their mind drift back to what happened in that cavern. 

======

There were fewer people in the common room than TO expected there to be. Goretta was there, looking a little more tired and worn than she had earlier that day. Vik still hadn’t moved from his spot - did he sleep there? Eat there? When did he bathe?

Before they could look around more, or really question how Vik’s lifestyle looked - did he sleep at all?- GiDi ran up to them.

“I was worried!” They said as they ran up to TO and wrapped their arms and wings around them, “I didn’t hear from you, and then when I finally heard from Tham-”

“We were trying to get out of the tunnels.” Tham said, “It was full of water and more than a little drowney, so that was a bit of a focus for us.” 

GiDi pulled away and looked at TO as though they were checking for something wrong, “Tham said you passed out! Are you sure you’re ok? What happened?” 

“Blood.” TO said quickly, “Tham got shot-”

“It’s not important. I’ll tell you later.” Tham said, “Where’s Pearla and her friends?” 

“Pearla is trying to explain everything to Petra and Lendulin.” GiDi said, “And.. it might take some time.”

“Can I see this?” Goretta had come up to them so quietly that she startled TO. Still, she wasn’t looking at TO, she was looking at Tham and his bandage.

“I just put the bandage on. It’d be best to let the wound heal, wouldn’t it be?” DH asked, their ears quirking forward.

“You did this?”

“Yes offi-... Yes doctor?” DH’s ears flicked down, flushed slightly from the slip of their tongue.

“Goretta is fine.” She said, “And yes, you are right. What did you use to clean it?” She listened carefully as DH went over his process, and then nodded. “Yes, that should be fine.” She said, “We’ll watch for infection, just in case, though.”

“Right.” DH said, nodding. “That was my plan. I would have given painkillers, but what I had was specific to synths-”

“I have something that might help.” She said as she let one of her tentacles wrap around Tham’s good arm, “Come on, I’ll get you some medication-”

“I’m fine.” Tham said, patting her tentacle, “And you need to keep your meds. We might need more.”

She pursed her lips, but nodded, “Normally, I’d say you deserve it as much as anyone else, but if you’re up and talking without…” she shrugged, “With the lockdown, It’ll be hard for me to get more medication. I can’t exactly go up and get more now, can I?” 

“Why not?” TO asked, “You’re a doctor, so you can just get what you need-”

“I am a doctor, yes.” She said, nodding, “But I’m not licensed to practice on Arkane.” She gave an overly sweet smile while venom poured from her eyes. “I had a bad habit of ‘forgetting’ to charge people who couldn’t pay for their medical costs. This went against the rules of how the Medical Association of Arkane works, so they removed me from the association.” She shrugged, “You can’t practice on Arkane if you’re not part of the association, and you can’t get supplies and medicine if you’re not a practicing doctor.”  

“And we can’t hit a drugstore for a while.” Tham muttered, “We could try-”

“Too dangerous.” GiDi said, “And we’re housing too many people to risk it.”

TO’s ears perked up, “That’s why you were attacking the drug stores!” TO said, “I was so confused by that!”

“Shouldn’t be.” Tham snapped, but his voice seemed to soften with his next words, “You’ve been here long enough; you know how things work here.”

Well, now it made sense, for sure. It didn’t before.

“At any rate.” Goretta said, turning to DH, “You said you have painkillers for Synths? Chilacians.”

“Chi-... uh, yes, for synths.”

“Good.” she said, “I might need to bum some off you.”

“I don’t know how well it’ll work for other civilians…” DH said, 

“Me neither.” She said, “But I'm told I might have a synth patient, and if I do, and if I can perform the procedure, they’re going to need painkillers.”