TheMangaGod

So, I've been leading up to the joke in this chapter for quite some time. Basically, ever since introducing the Arachne species I've had this joke on the backburner and the larger joke about all-female species has been on my mind since an early comment about it on one of my first chapters. All-female species only really make sense in a situation where reproduction is significantly different to mammals but it's a staple of fantasy settings, including mine. I might or might not address Lamia and the like later on in the novel, but I DO have an actual reason for all-female species to exist. I'm just not sure whether it matters enough to actually address it directly. Maybe as a side-story/extra chapter way later? Either way I found this chapter funny when I was drafting it in my head.

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- Arachne Hidden Village, Riyuegu Xiamen Holy Manor - Rose's POV -

[What the hell is this?!?] - Rose

I was shocked, to say the least. Before me when I finally was guided to the Dining Hall was a veritable army of Loli Arachne wearing maid dresses as they attended to the already present group that consisted of both my own party as well as several new faces from the Arachne village. Child Labor laws what the fuck?

Wait...?

[Those aren't loli's?!?] - Rose

[H-H-How lewd!] - Argent

[Wawawawawa!] - Urz

Gazing at the army of maid's going to and fro quickly as they served food and drinks to the "seated" guests I came to the stark realization that something was horribly, or joyfully depending on your perspective, wrong. None of the supposed Loli maids were in fact Loli's. Each and every one of them, without exception, was a Shota.

[Oh Rose?!? You finally made it! Have you seen this shit?!? Funniest thing I've ever seen!] - Karen

[B-B-But they're all boys! Young boys!] - Rose

[According to the internet the dick makes it better. Hahahaha!] - Karen

[Oh gods, can you get her to stop Rose? Between her and the salivating Succubi behind me I can literally feel my headache growing.] - Malaise

Chaos. Pure, unadulterated chaos was engulfing those present. Apparently in the small amount of time I'd taken to catch up with my friends the Arachne had brought to bear a literal WMD against my group and our poor Foxgirl had no idea how to handle it. Of course, I also ended up catching the blush on said nerd's face as she stole glimpses at the short skirts that the crossdressing Shota were nonchalantly prancing around in. It was like having an actual horde of Hideyoshi wandering around and making passersby question their orientation.

[W-W-Why are they all boys?!?] - Urz

[Oh? You guys made it! I was wai- I-I mean y-you should feel honored that we have deigned to act as h-hosts. Yeah that.] - Zhizhu

[Umm... and the maids?] - Rose

[Hmm maids?] - Zhizhu

[T-T-They're a-all boys?!?] - Argent

[Huh? Of course they are? Why wouldn't maids be boys?] - Zhizhu

Blushing like mad as the shy Kappa peeked through the hands that she was covering her face with our shock was interrupted by the innocent smile of a certain Arachne as she rushed over only to realize midway through her sentence that she was breaking character and straighten up her posture.

Unfortunately for us however she seemed utterly perplexed by our question as we each attempted to come to grips with the bizarre scene unfolding before us. Tilting her head as she stated the ridiculous as if it were obvious I had only one question come to mind. Well actually several but I was tired and hungry, and my brain was overheating from the extreme incomprehension of what was happening.

[Why LITTLE boys though?] - Rose

[Huh? They're all fully grown though?] - Zhizhu

[Oh, that makes se- hold the fuck up! What?!?] - Rose

Seeing the crossdressing maids directly beside their fully-grown female counterparts illustrated another issue. They were tiny. In comparison to the adults in the room the young boys were at most half the size of their larger guests. I even saw a group of four working together to carry a much larger platter of food to the table in a way that reminded me of a certain type of Loli cell from an anime with more biology lessons than a North American High School. ¹I'm referring to the platelets from the Cells at Work anime that are the most adorable Lolis in existence. Oh course her answer was patently ridiculous, even the Shota dwarves hadn't looked quite that young when fully grown, on top of that was the obvious size difference between the two genders! How would they even...?

[Well why would we only hire young children as maids after all? That makes no sen- wait are you some kind of p-p-pedo? Y-You shou-] - Zhizhu

[NO I'M NOT! And what do you mean fully grown they're clearly like 4 or 5 years old?] - Rose

[I apologize for the interruption Milady but I must inform you that all of our staff are above the age of majority at at least 10 or more. I once again apologize for speaking to my betters without being addressed first.] - Random Shota Maid

Blushing as I caught myself imagining barely remembered "gentlemen's manuscript" of Arachne domming Shota caught in their webs I apparently caused the idiot spooder to immediately assume that I was blushing at the thought of actual kids. Luckily, I was aware enough to immediately try clearing the record by focusing on the most important point. Only to be interrupted by one of said 4- to 5-year-old crossdressing maid.

Glancing upwards at me in a way that tickled some sort of maternal instinct the adorable little fucker informed me that of the two of us I was actually the younger. Damn these fantasy worlds!!!! Damn them all to heck! ²Planet of the Apes movie reference.

[...] - Rose

[You okay Lady Rose?] - Argent

I was exhausted. The last day had been an absolute roller coaster and it had gotten to the point that reacting was just draining more and more life out of me. Luckily, I had support in the shape of a girl not even half my size besides me. Argen- wait what?!?

[No but I'll be- wait Lady Rose?!?] - Rose

[Since you're now my mistress I thought it appropriate to change how I address you. Besides that as shocked as we all are I don't think we'll figure it out while standing here. Why don't we sit and eat first?] - Argent

[Back off newbie. You've only been her knight for a few minutes and I've yet to accept you so I'll-] - Annabelle

[Argent, Annabelle, thanks. Both of you. We'll... ignore the elephant in the room... for now.] - Rose

My brain froze at the new address from my recent friend, unable to keep up with even the previous situation this one just borked my brain completely. Error 404: Rose Not Found.

It was only the annoyed comment by my long-time maid and caretaker that allowed Rose.exe to restart and with a smile I opted to thank them both rather than continue dealing with this shit. The rest of my group had gone back to enjoying themselves in the meantime.

- Arachne Hidden Village, Riyuegu Xiamen Holy Manor Hot Springs, Several Hours Later - Rose's POV -

Several hours later, after what I assume was dinner but was not sure as it had never been made clear what time of the day it actually was, we found ourselves within the hot springs adjacent to the one that I'd done the supposed "Ritual" in. Built for both purification and general cleanliness it was of a more reasonable temperature than the Ritual Pool and also wasn't directly connected with Undine's body. I think?

The rest of the party, aside from our group, was drinking the night away. A mixture of relief from not being massacred and joy at their Patron Goddess being present fueling the festivities as they downed copious amounts of an alcohol made from mushrooms that apparently caused mild hallucinations on top of getting you absolutely plastered. Although I was told that the residual spores within the alcohol also helped with immunity and heart health, so I wasn't sure how healthy or unhealthy said drink happened to be. The fact that Undine's water, an actual body of a God was apparently used in the brewing process, albeit in low amounts, probably had more to do with any health effects than the spores but who knows.

Regardless we, as minors, had ducked out when the festivities had started getting too raucous and, given we were all still dealing with the aftermath of our exhaustion from various things, we decided to relax in the hot springs nearby.

That's how we found ourselves when I informed everyone that the newest members of our friend group had been clued into my real identity, well the Demon Lord part anyway as I hadn't viewed myself as Austin in years now.

[...so you've heard the entire story then? What do you think?] - Malaise

[Yeah, what does the oh so noble traitor that attacked her own friend think?] - Karen

[Oof, I suppose I deserve that. I did have one question though; it's been bothering me since Rose told me.] - Argent

It was our nerdy fox that was the first to break the silence as she tried her best to look nonchalant. That attempt was ruined however as Kare Kare made clear her hostility to the person that has threatened me only a small amount of time before. Argent, grimacing as her eyes filled with sadness at the hostility still plucked up the courage to ask what it was that had been plaguing her.

[Oh? Still not satisfied despite Rose's forgiveness? Fine, what is it?] - Karen

[Rose was... a boy? In her previous life I mean? No matter how I think about it I can't help but think that it's nonsense.] - Argent

[Again?!? How does everyone keep getting hung up on only that point?!?] - Rose

[Hahahaha! You know what just for that I'll give you a bit more leeway for your stupid decision earlier. Heh.] - Karen

None of us present expected her question to once more be about my previous gender, even more so than the previous times with Malaise, Veronica and Shade she seemed focused on that issue in particular. And, dammit, I was embarrassed! I knew I was way girlier than my close group of friends, except perhaps Argent herself since she was also presumably a noble lady same as myself. And that! THAT is exactly what I mean, I naturally thought of myself as a noble lady and knew that I was so accustomed to said life at this point that the thought of being without the finer things in life for even longer than the 5 months worth I'd already suffered through. That horrible period of my life was a stain I had no intention of ever repeating. If, in the future, I decided to travel the world I'd have to procure enough funds to at least keep most, if not all, of the comfortable conveniences I'd grown to love. 

Lost in my thoughts as I daydreamed about future better days to distract myself, I barely noted that the conflict between Karen and Argent had taken a step away from open hostility.

[U-Umm I was serious though I'm actually baffled by that.] - Argent

[If I were you I'd just accept it and move on, none of us that have been around her for a while believe her and the only one that actually knew her in her previous world is the horny slime.] - Malaise

[Hey! I was a horny human too!] - Karen

[...always horny.] - Shade

[Ouch, that really hurts me in my... heart? Well whatever the equivalent of a heart is anyway.] - Karen

[Hey guys, far be it for me to interrupt discussions about how horny each of us are but did you always have that tattoo Argent?] - Veronica