“Breathe in… and breathe out…” Aunt Ferns voice calls out gently from my right side. I can hear her soft steps pass in front of me as she paces around me. I steady my breathing, my breaths slowing to a crawl as I center myself. “Good, good. Keep your eyes closed. When you feel centered, focus on an emotion for me. Any emotion works, as long as it’s vivid.”

I sway gently, breaths even as I focus on my body. The gentle footsteps of Aunt Fern fade away from my ears as I focus all of my attention inward.

A breath in. A breath out. A breath in. A breath out.

After a few moments of quiet, I focus my thoughts on a recent memory. I focus on the pure euphoria of getting up this morning and getting dressed. I don't want to think about anything sad, so this is the emotion I choose. In my trancelike state, I feel something click and a small ripple in my senses. I focus on the feeling and feel it getting further away from me.

My eyes fly open and I look around. Aunt Fern is standing in front of me with a wide smile on her face and another ball of wispy energy in her hand. She takes the ball and lifts it towards the sky, it pulses upwards the moment she lets go of it.

"That's some pretty potent happiness you have there. Caught a taste of it before I could round it all up that time. Mind if I ask what you were thinking about?" Aunt Fern asks gently.

"Oh, uh… W-well… Just, um, this morning? Wh-when I was getting dressed and s-s-stuff, I was just really, um, happy." I rub my neck gently, awkwardly avoiding her eyes. It's such a silly thing to feel so happy about, I worry briefly if she'll think it's a waste of happiness to be so happy about such a small thing.

Aunt Fern laughs gently, stepping towards me and tousling my hair. "I'm so glad that something so simple can bring you so much happiness, dear! That's absolutely wonderful." I blush a little, keeping my gaze pointed downwards towards my feet. "Let's try that a couple more times, feel free to switch up which emotions you project at anytime."

We go through the exercise a couple more times, each time I try to focus on a different memory each time. I don't focus on any negative emotions, though, I don't want to dwell on any of those memories long enough to project them.

After a couple more successful attempts, I can feel my attention starting to drift on my last attempt. I try to concentrate on the memory of seeing Aunt Fern this morning, but my thoughts are quickly drifting to our conversation that came moments after. The memory pulls me out of focus and I notice that I'm holding my breath in.

I exhale with a sigh, looking over my shoulder at Aunt Fern. She's still pacing around me, but after a few moments she stops in front of me. "No luck that time? Should we take a brief break? You were really getting the hang of it the last couple attempts."

I nod gently. I look up at my aunt nervously, something she said during our earlier conversation weighing on my mind.

"Aunt Fern?" I ask, "Why isn't mom a witch anymore? What happened to her magic?" She looks surprised by the question, averting her eyes in the proceeding silence.

"I'm not sure that it's my place to tell you, Dawn…" She replies carefully. Her voice is quiet and somber as she responds, her gaze drifting to meet mine. For once, I don't instantly turn away from the eye contact with her. Instead, I notice something in her stare that calls out to me. I can feel something writhing beneath her expression, desperate to claw its way out. After a couple moments of shared eye contact, Aunt Fern's expression shifts to concern. "Dawn, are you okay?" She asks gently.

"Okay?" I ask, tilting my head in confusion. I reach my hand up to my cheek and I can feel tears flowing freely down my cheek. I pull my hand back in surprise, looking first at my hand and then at my aunt. "I… I'm crying?" I say quietly. Less a question, and more of a confirmation for myself. My attention turns from Aunt Fern back to myself. As soon as I become aware of myself again, I choke back a sob. I can feel an abrupt sadness clawing at my heart. 

Aunt Fern rushes to my side. "Here, use this." I look up to Aunt Fern and see her offering me a tissue from a small pack of tissues she keeps in her purse. I shakily accept the tissue with Aunt Fern looking me over carefully as I do so.

"Th-thanks…" I say, distracted by my own thoughts. "I-I d-don't know what's come over m-me…" I raise the tissue up to my face and wipe away several tears.

"I think that you just used a new spell on accident, dear." Aunt Fern rubs my back gently, her nails barely scratching my back gently. It's a familiar motion. It's the same thing that mom does to reassure me. "The opposite of the one you've been casting, pulling emotions into you instead of thrusting them outwards. You'll probably stumble across a couple more spells within your specialization in the coming weeks. They're the most intuitive for you, so it's important to know how to control them. For now though, I'm sorry you had to feel that. I didn't expect you to be able to do something like that just yet." Aunt Fern speaks in hushed tones, her voice gentle and soothing over the roaring sadness I’m still trying to get away from.

Wiping away stray tears, I take some deep breaths. I try to center myself like I'd been practicing, focusing my thoughts on the gentler sounds around me. Aunt Fern must have noticed me trying to focus, because she stops scratching my back gently. I pull my thoughts inward, trying to focus on a different feeling. With steady breaths, I try to push those feelings outward consciously.

I open my eyes and look at Aunt Fern. She's holding another wispy ball of energy and smiling at me gently. "I take it you want to continue the lessons now?" She asks, quirking an eyebrow. I nod gently, feeling a little clearer now. The sadness I’d seized from her has settled, my emotions feeling more like my more familiar and tame ones.

"I think I'm g-getting the hang of it. I wanna keep going." I reply. I put my previous question out of my mind for now. I can ask Mom another time, but after that taste of raw emotion I know that it's not going to be a pleasant story. For now I have powers to get under control. One step at a time, Dawn. One step at a time. 

SylkWeaver

Sorry for the break, I'm still writing. Dealing with a rough adjustment to a move. There will be more of this story, this is just a short chapter to start. Thank you all for being so patient. Might start releasing chapters of a new story to destress a bit.