Consultation 30.

“What are you doing here again?”

“Am I not allowed to book a consultation?” The goddess seated across from me asked with her head tilted to one side questioningly.

“Why does it have to be with me?”

“Because I wanted it to be with you.”

“Then what do you come to ask this time? I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible.”

“Are you okay? Did you get sick? You don’t really look too good.”

“None of your business. Now, what is your problem?”

“You didn’t answer my question. I asked if you’re sick.”

“Tch. Yeah, yeah. I’m sick, is the facemask I’m wearing a joke to you?”

“I see, so you are sick like I heard.”

“If you get it, then do me a favor and leave.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have to resolve my problem first.”

My lips twitched beneath my facemask. “Well, hurry up and tell me what it is.”

“How do I give a lap pillow to a guy without it making me cringe?”

“If you came here to mess around, please leave now.”

“I’m not messing around though. You see, there’s a guy I’m slightly interested in and I wanted to get closer to him, but I’m unsure of how to approach him.”

“Oh? A guy you took an interest in?”

“Yes.”

“And who exactly is this guy?”

She stared at me in silence.

“Can you stop staring at me?”

“It’s impolite to ask a woman that sort of question.”

“I need to know what sort of guy it is to be able to tell you how it’s possible to make an event like that not make you cringe.”

“Well, I actually have a theory of my own already. I just wanted a second opinion on it.”

“If you already have an answer then please don’t come to me for life counseling.”

“Haha.”

“So? What exactly is that idea of yours?”

“I figured if the guy I was interested in collapsed from feeling sick; if he happened to collapse on top of my lap I wouldn’t cringe. What do you think of the plan I came up with?”

“It’s a shit plan. It absolutely will never work so just give up.”

“How do you know it won’t work?”

Do you think I’m a dumbass who doesn’t know who it is? For fuck sakes, I do this shit for a living.

“Because there’s no way that guy is going to collapse from being sick.”

Wait! Wait a damn minute! Author. No. Wait. Stop. Everything was a trap from the very beginning, wasn’t it? You son of a bitch! Getting me sick was actually Author playing some 4D chess with me, wasn’t it?

I have to remain vigilant. There was no doubt in my mind Author had intentionally set me up. Her plan was obviously to make fall ill and fuck me over by hooking me up with this chick with the Yandere tendency to stab guys that made her cringe.

I will absolutely not collapse, Author! Mark my words, Author, I will not fall on this battlefield!

On high alert, I scanned through the room with hawk-like eyes for anything that could pose a potential threat to me. There didn’t appear to be anything that would force me into unconsciousness or into a lap pillow.

Wait, could the food I brought with me to work today be poisoned by Author? I better not eat anything while this goddess is around.

“What are you doing?” She asked when she noticed my strange actions.

“Nothing much. I just had a strange feeling something bad was going to happen to me.”

“Something strange? Like what?”

“Maybe a blow dart laced with poison would be fired at me from some sort of hidden mechanism. Or perhaps there’s a pin somewhere laced with poison that would make me pass out if I pricked myself with it. Or maybe the oxygen in this room is being gradually replaced with CO2 to make me pass out, something like that.”

“Hahaha. Why would someone do that? Aren’t you a bit too suspicious?” She averted her eyes to the side and removed her hand from on top of my desk.

“Me? Isn’t it you who’s too suspicious? Why’d you hide your hands below the table like that? You wouldn’t be hiding something, would you?”

“I’m not… hiding anything.”

“I call bullshit. What’s in your hand? Is it a thumbtack? Did you intend to knock me out with poison?”

“Of course not. What reason would I have to do that? Should you really be casting such doubts on your client? It’s not very professional.”

“Not very professional, my ass!”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Three taps came from behind me. With my nerves already on edge I shot up out of my seat and my head snapped to the wall behind me at light speed. With my body frozen stiff, my eyes locked onto the wall like a man morbidly terrified by the idea of swat busting in his place after watching some spicy videos online. However, there was no one there. The knock had come from the other side of the wall in the adjacent counseling room.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Another three taps came from behind me where my client was seated.

Afraid that I’d fallen into a trap my body jolted around again rattling my brain in the process. It was at that instant, I knew, I fucked up. I’d gotten up too quickly which resulted in a sudden drop in blood pressure inside my head. With the way I was presently sick, I already wasn’t in great shape. Twisting my head in two opposite directions like that had also delivered the fatal blow. It was on the level of receiving a knockout blow from a professional boxer.

Darkness expanded from the outskirts of my eyes, inward toward the center, and my body gradually lost strength. I tried to grab onto the corner of my desk, but I was off balance and my body slipped off to the side around the corner.

To my dismay, a hand shot out in front of me and latched onto my arm. What happened next… I couldn’t recall it too well. I’d lost consciousness and couldn’t remember anything. When I came to, I found myself on my chair. My client, Goddess Husbandos, was already long gone, but there was a lingering warmth on my cheek.

All the blood drained from my face as I paled in horror. I chose to not think about it any further. It was a near-death experience for me. If something went wrong while I was unconscious and that woman cringed as a result of the situation, I’d already long be dead, stabbed clean through the heart. I could never let my guard down like that again or fall for such a cheap ploy. 

Somehow, I’d completed my client’s life counseling, but at what cost? What great cost did I have to pay this time? My dignity? My pride? The time I spent unconscious as some crazy did who knows what with my body? What sort of positions was my pitiful body subjected to? 

The fact that such a simple trick got me, I felt endless shame. Author must have been in the adjacent room behind me. This surely had to be her doing. I was certain they’d conspired against me.

To think that I got a dreadful... lap pillow of all things. This humiliation, I will remember this. I will engrave this defeat in my heart, Author. You think you can play around with my relationship status as you please and get away with it? Just you wait. Just you wait! I don’t know how I’ll settle these accounts, but mark my words you monster, I undoubtedly will.