Consultation 38.

“God, how can I get my slime husband to impregnate my breasts while I simultaneous NTR him by allowing a dragon to lay his egg directly inside my uterus so I can hatch it inside my womb.”

I hummed to myself indifferently, “Hmmmmmm. Sounds  like quite the retarded problem you’ve got there.”

With my left elbow on the desk, I rested my cheek on the palm of my hand. I twirled my pen around my right hand while I tried to process the degenerate request I’d been tasked with.

“Yes, it is a real problem for me, God.”

“So, you already confessed to that slime and things worked out?”

“Yes, things went great thanks to the advice you gave me. It seems my slime husband especially enjoyed the meals I prepared where those brats screamed the loudest. It was exactly as you said.”

“I see. I see. Now, why the hell do you want to NTR him with a dragon of all things after you only just recently got together?”

“Because I want to groom and raise up my ideal man. I want to give birth to a slime dragon hybrid. When the dragon hatches and is still in his infancy, I’ll feed him to the slime baby I’m nurturing in my breasts.”

“Let me get this straight, so you not only want to effectively have sex with the child you give birth to and raise, you want to feed your born child to an unborn slime baby you raise in your breasts so you can give birth to your ideal partner?”

“Yes.”

“And you see nothing wrong with any of that?”

“Wrong? What’s wrong with that?”

“Haaaaah. Nothing.”

“Well… if you’re looking to impregnate you… breasts with a slime baby, that part is pretty easy. You just need to get a syringe and suck up a bit of your slime husband into it then inject it into your breasts through your nipples. When it’s inside your nipples it can absorb nutrients from your body to grow over time.”

“As for how to get a dragon to lay his egg inside your uterus, you’ll need to go through a c-section. Only, you’re not using the c-section to get the baby out, you’re using it to get the egg inside you instead. It’s typically easier to push something large out of an enclosed elastic space than to push something large through a small opening since there will be pockets of air that form when you try to push it in.”

“Thus your uterus will be cut open, then wrapped around the egg and repackaged back inside your body. Once the dragon is born, just kill it and put its body in a blender. Once its body is blended up you can use the syringe to inject it into your breasts to feed that monster slime of yours. It will absorb the dragon and integrate its genetic makeup into its own genome and evolve the way you want. That should just about fulfill your request.”

“It’s that easy?”

“Killing your newborn baby, blending up its body, and feeding it to your unborn child is... easy?”

“Is it supposed to be hard?”

“Forget I said anything.” I shook my head resignedly.

“Anyway, this has been pretty eye-opening. Your methods truly are profound, God.”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“I’ll be taking my leave then.”

Someone, please stop this monster.