Prologue.

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

Whooooooooooooooooooooo.

A high-pitched whistle echoed out as a strong gust of cold wind blew between the towering buildings to my sides.

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

At present, I was downtown headed to my car, walking along the sidewalk late into the night.

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

I momentarily paused, hesitant, as I was suddenly confronted by a scene that left me slightly perplexed.

As for what made me feel that way…

It was snowing, small specks of white fell down and partially obstructed my vision. The ground was white as far as the eye could see.

But this scenery was the norm for this winter city at this time of year. In fact, that was not what I was particularly troubled by…

The source of the uncomfortable feeling I had in my gut was the too young to be outside at this hour girl with turquoise colored twin tails, seated on the ground, with her back to the building behind her. She was dressed in a white jacket, with a white scarf wrapped around her neck, her hood pulled over her head, and black jeans buried halfway in the snow. What really choked me up and stung my heart was the sign on her lap that read, ‘Can you please spare some change?’

I looked down at the snowy ground where my feet were entrenched in the snow with half-open eyes.

No... I shouldn’t... bother. It’s too troublesome.

Just look away and avert my eyes, act as though I never saw her. It’s none of my business why a kid like her was out on the cold streets at this late hour of the night. If I were to approach her I’d probably be mistaken for some sort of creepy pedophile anyway. It’s not worth the trouble.

It could even be a trap. What if she’s part of some gang just waiting for someone to bite the bait so they could blackmail the victim. No, wait, it could even be a set up by the cops or something. They did recently get defunded. Wouldn’t slapping me with a bunch of fines work out perfect for them?

Yes, as I thought, it is for the best to just ignore this pitiful scene and not get involved. Not getting involved was the smart thing to do. It’s cruel, but this world was always a cruel dog eat dog one. It was as they say… survival of the fittest.

I sucked in a deep breath of cold air, raised my right hand, and pulled down on the corner of my hood to block my view of the little girl at the side a short distance away in front of me.

This is the correct decision. You can’t help everyone. There are millions of people who are in a similar position out there.

I say that, but the turning sensation in my gut didn’t alleviate in the slightest.

Crunch...

I took a single step forward and exhaled out slowly before my next step soon followed.

Crunch...

When I was directly in front of her and tried to lift my foot again, it felt heavy.

Crunch...

It was oh so heavy when it came down too.

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

I continued on my way, heavy-footed, in the direction where my car was parked leaving the little girl behind all alone in the middle of nowhere on some random sidewalk at night.

Would she die if she’s left there? It’s not like it’s below 30 to 50 like previous winters, it’s only below 10 at best. Not that cold. My standard for judging cold weather would probably be viewed as strange by others, however, those sorts of extreme temperatures were the norm for this frozen hell hole of a city.

It’s best to not think about it.

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

Crunch...

…

Crunch...

After trudging through the snow a little while longer, I came to a stop in front of my car in the parking lot. When I opened the door the snow covering it caved in and landed on the seat inside. I grabbed the brush and bushed all the snow off. I put the key in the ignition and started the car then proceeded to clear the five-centimeter thick layer of snow off of the body and windows. Some melted snow had frozen up and stuck to the windows so I had to scrape it off with the flat part of the brush’s handle.

When I was finished I took a seat inside the car and turned on the heat. When the airflow warmed up, the image of the little girl on the cold snowy sidewalk came to mind. It was still freshly burned into the back of my mind. 

She’s probably going to die if she stays outside like that. But… someone else is bound to come across her, right? Why is she even there? Couldn’t she go to a shelter? Does she not know about those sorts of things? Where are her parents? Did she run away from home, or was she abandoned by her parents or something?

I shook my head. It was… still none of my business. It wasn’t something I should stick my nose into. I already had more than enough on my plate trying to make a living as it was. Looking out for others wasn’t something I had the leisure to do.

I reversed out of my stall and got onto the road. I intentionally took a detour route to avoid seeing that little girl. As for what I was doing out at this hour, it was to get… something to eat. The hours I was active were a bit strange. Sometimes I was a denizen of the night, other times I woke during the day. My sleeping schedule was a mess. I worked from home. My work hours used to be enough to kill me but I’d cut down and now was only working part-time due to certain unavoidable circumstances. I suppose you could say it was the result of an economic downturn.

These days I’m just barely making it from one day to the next. Surviving off of one meal for the day. That meal being burgers from fast-food restaurants using an unlimited supply of buy one get one free offer. It amounts to about $5 a day which works out to $150 for food a month. Though that’s just the cost of my food.

“Haaaaaaaaaaaah.” A sigh inadvertently slipped out when I thought about it; my breath visible as a misty white trail due to the cold weather. It was pretty depressing living in this dead freezing cold barren capital city where nothing interesting ever happened. But, at least I had a roof over my head… unlike that little girl.

I need to forget about her.

I turned on the radio and ‘If the World Was Ending’ by JP Saxe was playing. I turned it up and cleared my mind while I drove through the slippery, snow-filled roads to my destination. Along the way, with the falling snow in the air, the illumination via street lights and decorations overhead turned into blurry streaks to the sides in my peripheral vision.

The phenomenon didn’t last very long as my destination wasn’t very far, only a block away, it didn’t take long before I got there. When I arrived, I ordered the usual buy one get one free offer. I collected my order at the window and got onto the adjacent road headed in the opposite direction I came to return home.

A few minutes later I was parked up in my stall. I quickly put the bag under my jacket then embarked on my journey back to my condo. On the way back, I trod along on top of the still fresh footprints I made on the way to my car. Naturally, in doing so, it meant I had to pass by that little girl for the second time on this auspicious night. Only this time, with a guilty conscience hiding food inside my jacket. 

I developed a slight headache when I thought about it. I didn’t want to take a long detour around as the burgers would get cold if I did. I was a shit-tier-burger connoisseur. I could not accept a cold burger. Hot burgers made the world go round in my mind.

Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration; but to me, burgers were the difference between life and death. I naturally took this shit very seriously. Hot burger eating was something not to be looked down upon. It should be classified as a form of art. Something that should be taken seriously on a global stage at an event equivalent to the Olympics.

As I made the journey through the snow while I mulled over such idiotic thoughts to distract myself, I arrived at what I internally dubbed in my mind, ‘The Great Roadblock of Homeless Turquoise Haired Twin Tails Little Girl.’ This was a great obstacle for me as a human. One that I had to overcome at all costs. It was the difference between life and death for me. My food, or my life, what was more important to me? My food of course. My life can eat shit for all I care. If my life can eat shit, this little girl can eat some damn snow or something.

Ugh. I know. I know. That’s not possible. Shit. Why did she have to be here of all places? Why couldn’t she have picked any other road that I don’t walk down? Is this fate? Are the gods up above trying to test me? Gods? What gods? I’m an atheist for fuck sakes. There are no fucking gods.

If there were, that person wouldn’t have…

“Haaaaaah.” No. Forget it. I already accepted it. That’s done and over with. It’s behind me now.

The song I’d been listening to back in the car started to play in my head when I was reminded of that person. I met that person two years ago, but that person had already passed on. Coincidentally... it’s been a year now...

The irony of that song hit me.

Back then, I was distracted and in traffic. I didn’t really feel it very much when it happened. But it really hit me hard, when that person passed on. All our time together flashed directly before my eyes. It’s been a year now...

My lips quivered a bit when I remembered the person who allowed me to find what I actually wanted to dedicate my life to. Since then, all I’ve done is mindlessly pursue that path. I couldn’t say I was very successful, but I could at the very least say that I enjoyed it still.

As for that person, they died on Christmas Eve, precisely today’s date.

I felt warmth from my stomach. It wasn’t from thinking of that person, rather, the source of that warmth was from the burgers. Damn it, they’re getting cold because I’m standing around out here like an idiot!

I’ve got to go.

I took a step forward but struggled to take another. I was internally undergoing a great battle between my stomach and conscience.

If it’s just today that I’m 1 burger short, it’s not that big a deal, is it? Just one burger. I’d completely forgotten it was Christmas Eve. I didn’t particularly care for that sort of thing, but for a little girl like her on this night… even I’d have a bit of trouble sleeping at night at this rate. If there was anything I valued as much as food, it was undoubtedly my sleep.

I let out another long sigh after debating over it for a while and I took out the bag from under my jacket. I took out the burger from the bag, squatted down, and tapped on the little girl’s shoulder. Her eyes were closed, she was asleep in her seated posture out here in subzero temperatures.

“Hey, kid. Wake up. You alive?”

I placed my hand on her cheek. It was cold to the touch, very cold. I moved my hand and checked her pulse by positioning two fingers against her neck. I counted and it was pretty low and weak at 60 beats per minute. I placed my fingers beneath her nose and confirmed she was still breathing. The air she exhaled out her nose was cold.

She was alive, but definitely not in good condition. Could it be was she too hungry to move or open her eyes? As I thought, this is too troublesome after all. I only wanted to give her a burger, nothing more, nothing less. I didn’t want to take care of her or be responsible for what happens to her.

It’s the same problem that arises when treating strays to a meal.

I took out the burger and squeezed the sides of her cheeks to open her mouth then placed the hot burger into her mouth. I repositioned my hand under her jaw, applied an upward force to shut it, then pulled the burger away to let her tear off a piece. I was hoping the taste and smell of food would provide an incentive or some sort of motivation to wake up.

“Kid, if you don’t want to eat this burger while it’s still hot and wake up right now I’m seriously going to just leave.”

Her eyes cracked open slightly. It was a very slow process, but they slowly opened up until halfway. It seems she realized there was something hot in her mouth. She weakly chewed on it and her out of focus eyes seemed to register me in front of her. Well, rather than me, her eyes had locked onto the hot burger with a stream of steam rising up from it.

When she swallowed, it felt like she’d a second wind of life had invigorated her. Her hands shot out toward the burger I held out in front of her and desperately snatched it clean out of my hand.

As though she were afraid someone would try to steal it from her, without care for appearance, she gobbled down the burger in a short minute. When I confirmed she’d eaten it all, I stood up ready to leave. I wasn’t willing to do anything more than this for her. Call me heartless, but there are millions of such children across the globe. It’s unfortunate, but that’s just how it is.

I took two steps before I was stopped in place. I felt a cold sensation on my arm. I looked down and found a small hand grabbing onto my arm. When I traced it back to its source, the identity of the person who’d grabbed my hand became immediately apparent, it was of course, the little girl. She was still on the ground, her body supported with her other free hand she’d reached out to catch me before I escaped.

“What is it, kid? If you’re looking for another burger, sorry, but I don’t have another to spare.” I’d already hidden the bag with the second one beneath my jacket.

”Nhaaa… name… your name?” Her voice was hoarse and likely sore from breathing in cold air for so long while asleep.

“My name? There’s no need to know something like that, kid. Look, I’ve got to go.”

“Please... a- ado- adopt... me.”

When assaulted by such an unexpected curveball, the only feeling to describe my state of mind was… extremely awkward and uncomfortable.