Consultation 104.

“God, how do I crush the group of pathetic filthy poor plebeian trash attacking my hedge fund by buying up the stocks I’ve shorted? Our fund is losing billions because of these low-life scum.”

Pfft. Getting owned by the people you look at as slaves. Good, go fuck yourself and go bankrupt for all I care. Must be nice being a rich mortal elitist prick on some backwater planet in a lower-dimensional universe.

She acted as if I was her servant and said, “Well, God? Why aren’t you answering me? I paid a hefty sum for the VIP treatment in this consultation. Hurry up and get to answering me, you lowly God.” Clenching my teeth, I truly understood why this place was hell. To deal with these sorts of clients… it was infuriating. Why don’t you go fuck yourself, you insufferable shit stain?

“Oh, I’m very sorry, Miss. As a God, I was just so humbled to meet a lowly- ehem- highly esteemed client such as yourself. As for your question, if you want to crush them and prevent this group of individuals from rising up against you, it’s rather simple. You just need to censor them and prevent them from coordinating their efforts.”

“The first step you can take is to utilize the media to make everyone think you’ve sold off your short positions, let the people think they’ve scored some sort of symbolic victory then act as if you've suffered terrible losses. In reality, you won’t actually close out any of your short positions. Rather, you will buy positions and ride the wave up to balance your losses by taking advantage of the people’s irrational out of control bullrun.”

“Once you’ve reached the peak and momentum seems to be waning, you can sell off a massive amount of stock you’ve bought to tank the stock in an instantaneous flash crash. At that point, you can then force your corrupt government’s hand and make them intervene in the system.”

“You can force markets to restrict the trade of the stocks that group has targetted for a certain length of time to block the bullish momentum from continuing in its irrational upward spiral. If you then coordinate with social networking companies to ban the channels these people utilize to coordinate and assemble in this rally against you, they will become a lost and disorderly mob, nothing more than headless chickens, a body without a properly functioning brain. They will be much more prone to failing in their efforts to topple your monopoly over the system if they lack the means to coordinate.”

“Since the individuals in your government are corporate elitists who similarly trade in stocks, your interests align and they will naturally do everything in their power to squash this uprising to avoid suffering any sort of personal financial losses in their own portfolios. Since the vast majority of government officials and regulators don’t actually care for the people and only care about how much money they can squeeze out of the position they’ve been gifted on a silver platter, they’ll jump into action like their pants are on fire.”

“Hmmm. Hmmm. I see. I see. Yes, as you’ve said this should certainly put the lowly riffraff back in their place, God. It’s not a bad plan at all. It looks like my money hasn’t been wasted. I’ll make sure to send a good tip for you, Impoverished God.” Stay calm, me. I can’t afford anymore strikes or else I’ll never get my bonus from Author at the end of the month. I’d been chewed out pretty badly for punching my last client in the face. The client was even given a full refund for the consultation. I’ve got bills to pay damn it.

Haaaaah. But the clients in hell really weren’t a joke. The speed at which they could make you lose any faith you had in mortals was unreasonably fast.

Really though, just how much authoritarian oppression were the people in her world willing to put up with? Watching a system they’ve known for the longest time was broken, and when they finally amass enough people to form a movement that can actually combat the powerful elitist pricks in their world, would they really just curl up in a ball, sit back, and accept being squashed out of existence in a few short days or months after patiently working toward building this momentous pushing force for so many years?

It’d be nice if they could win and make the establishment eat this loss, but the government can freely print as much money as they want to bail out these elitist pricks. As for hyperinflation and devaluation of their currency, what do they give a shit about that? At the end of the day, they’re still filthy rich and able to look down in disdain at the headless ants scurrying about underfoot trying to make ends meet. 

As for the group of people who wanted to rise up and fight against this moronic game controlled by the wealthiest elites, the government, rather than supporting them, will do everything in their power to vilify and condemn them.

They will use taxpayer dollars to bail out any losses the elitists incur, They can then claim everything was some sort of coordinated attack on the stock market by “evil people,” and make up some bullshit about how the taxpayers are now forced to suffer because of this group’s “greed.” Like this, they will redirect the everyday taxpayer’s hate toward the people trying to game their obviously broken system. 

There will also of course be legal action taken against a few of those who made it big in this ordeal to set some sort of example. Nonsensical claims that it was a grand conspiracy of some form orchestrated by this group will be tossed around when in reality they were nothing more than everyday average Joes.

It’s sad, but that’s typically how things end up playing out. Governing through fear and manipulating people’s emotions, that’s the sort of dirty game the elite play to maintain their wealth. All the while, the people get royally screwed in the end. It’s just a nasty unproductive game to these mortals.