KiraMinoru

Not so spoiler, spoiler warning.

Just for the record, I have no idea what actually goes on in the sequel with his kid, never watched it. If it by some freak accident of God turns out to be a true spoiler, I not so apologize for it. You can thank me instead.

Consultation 112.

“God, how do I become the Hokage?” She looked at me with dead serious eyes which showed great resolution. Her desire to embark on a perilous journey to make a name for herself was clear to me. The atmosphere around her screamed, ‘I will not allow anyone to make fun of my ambitions.’

Seeing her resolve, I bluntly asked, “Are you a fan girl?”

“No. I’m serious.”

Serious? As in… “I see... I understand.”

“If that is the case, the method to become the Hokage is a very arduous road. Are you certain you are truly prepared?”

“Yes. I am, God. Please guide me. I must walk this path no matter what. I must correct the mistakes of this world and right the wrongs that have been done. I will lead everyone down the correct path, the true one. A righteous one. One that will open everyone’s eyes.”

“I… understand. If you want to walk this path, you must first master Henge no Jutsu to a level even the Hokage cannot see through. The next step is, you must book a consultation with the God of Transmigration for Defective Washed Up Waifus. Once you have done these two things, you will be able to transmigrate to the far off land you seek.”

“I see. What is the next step, God?”

“From there, you will transform into the current Hokage. You will kidnap and off his wife when her guard is down. After that, you can transform into his wife, and when the two of you are getting it on in bed, you can assassinate him mid-climax when he’s in his most defenseless state. When the pain sets in after being betrayed in cold blood by his most beloved, he’ll let out a groan, ‘Kkkaaa,’ before he loses all his strength and collapses on top of you. His blood will paint the bed a crimson red. With him out of the way, you can freely transform into him and completely take his place for good.”

“Excellent, but God, what about the rest?”

“Now that you have taken on both his appearance and position, you can hunt down Sasge and have your way with him in that form like you’ve always been dreaming of. And thus, your journey to become the Hoe-Ka-Gay will be complete.”

The hoe, her. The ka, the former Hokage’s groan upon death. And finally, the gay, the stupid fucking fujoshi who wanted a different happy ending where Sas-gay got together with the Hoka-gay.

“Perfect,” a rotten grin formed on her face as she rubbed her hands together like a villain.

“Like this, my dream to become the Hokage is sure to come true.”

“Right…” I sighed and looked at the wall behind her with a ‘dead on the inside’ expression.

“All the fools that laugh at me, I will show them. The secret ending that Master Masashi envisioned, the one he hinted at time and time again. The endless pursuit and obsession with Sasge, how could they not see it? How could they be so blind! Blasphemy. It is blasphemy I say!”

Her hand swished to the side passionately as she continued on with her emblazoned speech, “The ending he was forced by the nonbelievers to discard against his will.”

Slam!

Her fist swung down heavily against the desk and screamed, “Those ruthless animals who kept pushing him to keep going on with a lie and swerve far off the original ending! Such a disgusting facade! I will right this great wrong! You hear me, God! Mark my words, those fools will pay if it’s the last thing I do!”

And thus, an idiotic spin-off series was born, where the dumbass Hokage’s kid seeks revenge on his father’s mysterious killer who steals his position to fuck Sasge with the Hokage’s appearance. This was the secret plot of his latest series yet to be revealed by Master Masashi. What a stupid way to get a series spoiled, being a God really sucked. Everything always got spoiled in advance in such ridiculous ways. Haaaaaah. It really didn’t matter how hard you tried to avoid them.

I shook my head, resigned to my fate in spoiler hell.