I woke to cold. Caught off-guard by not seeing the ceiling of my bedroom, It took me a moment to remember what had happened.

Right. Stupid death, dungeon master, can't leave the place so I just took a nap.

Another cold gust of wind blew in from outside and I shivered. I wiggled around until I was lying on top of Squishy.

“Squishy, to the [Core Room]!” I ordered and pointed. Squishy bobbed once, then started to make its way to the wooden door.

Awoooo!

-oooo!

-oo!

The howl of a wolf cut through the rustling of grass in the night breeze. It echoed and was echoed by its pack.

I looked back. Two moons illuminated the grassy plains outside, one full and one a crescent. There was a dark blot in the distance that grew larger as the howls grew closer. It resolved itself into the shape of a person running.

Chasing them were several smaller dark blots. The howling wolves.

Pursued by Wolves was running straight at my dungeon. I could almost hear them panting as they ran desperately.

“I don’t suppose you can fight, Squishy?”

Squishy wiggled. I got off, cursing my lack of footwear, and ran to the Dungeon Core. It was waiting in the doorway of the [Core Room]. Guess it couldn’t leave that room.

I bought an <Iron Dagger> for 50 DP. A sword would have been too heavy and unwieldy and also cost more.

I shut the door and positioned myself right next to the dungeon entrance. A surprise attack was the only way I had any chance of winning. Dying again so soon would be super lame.

As soon as Pursued by Wolves passed the dungeon entrance, I shot out and stabbed the first thing in front of me. The unlucky wolf howled in pain as my lucky stab pierced its eye.

I forced my dagger in and twisted. In its dying moments, the wolf thrashed and howled. My dagger was nearly torn from my hands, but I held on tight and bellowed back. With a last whimper, the wolf was still. I ripped my dagger out of its head.

No time to contemplate my first kill. Its pack had paused outside my dungeon, but any moment now they would figure out there were many of them and only one of me.

“Fire,” a male voice gasped from behind. Even if slightly hoarse, it was a lovely alto. “They’re susceptible to fire!”

“Fire, huh?”

Maybe there was something in the Item Shop.

I stomped on the carcass with a yell and swiped my dagger at the encroaching semicircle of wolves. They backed up a few steps with uncertain growls. The eyes of the wolves glowed gold and their fur was a black so slick it was iridescent in the moonlight. I locked eyes with the largest.

“Yo, Pursued by Wolves! C’mere.”

I felt someone approach my right.

“Yes…?”

“Hold this for a moment.”

Still staring down the largest wolf, I groped for his wrist and shoved the dagger in his hand.

“W-wait, what are you-”

“Gettin’ us some fire; you just wait there! Don’t take your eyes off the wolves!”

I sprinted to the [Core Room].

A cheap plastic lighter and unbranded hairspray together took my remaining 50 DP. A jerry can of fuel was 100 DP. Too bad.

I ran out with my purchases, just in time for one of the wolves to dare for a leg bite. Pursued by Wolves swiped at it but too late. The wolf had an enthusiastic hold of his calf and not even his desperate stabbing could disencourage it.

I aimed the aerosol bottle at the wolf and pressed the nozzle. A stream of hairspray hit it in the eyes and it yelped, releasing Pursued by Wolves.

I grinned. “There’s more, motherfucker.”

I lit the lighter and the hairspray turned to fire. So did the wolf.

“Holy shit,” I said, flinching away from the suddenly flaming wolf. “You weren’t kidding when you said they were susceptible to fire.”

A grunt of pain was my reply.

“Slick wolves,” the man gasped. “Amazingly flammable, but make up for it by being amazingly poisonous.”

In my peripheral, Pursued by Wolves was lying on the ground and grasping his leg. His pretty face was screwed up in pain.

“Aw, fuck. I just rescued you. Don’t go dying on me now.”

“I have no intention of doing so-!”

He broke off with another grunt of pain. I’d worry about him later.

I lit my improvised flamethrower and stood at the entrance of my dungeon.

“Come on then!” I yelled. “Either come get some or fuck off!”

The pack of ‘slick wolves’ eyed me warily, before the largest barked at the others. They fucked off into the long grass, golden eyes the last thing to disappear. I waited, tense, and when they didn’t come back after a few minutes, relaxed and turned around.

No Longer Pursued by Wolves was unconscious and Squishy was eating his leg.

“Squishy, what the fuck!”

I was in the middle of pulling my slime off when the cloud blocking the moonlight passed. A black substance was floating in Squishy, and the source was the man’s calf.

Huh.

“Are you sucking the poison out?”

Squishy bobbed.

“Ooh. Good slime.”

I patted it. A curl of red joined the black.

“Ah! I saw that!”

While the poison had dissipated in the pink slime, the blood went to its core, which spun innocently. I squinted. It may have just been the bad light, but I could have sworn Squishy got a little redder.

Squishy nudged me like some sort of shapeless dog and I sighed, hopelessly endeared.

“Alright, you can have a little blood, as a treat. But if this guy wakes up woozy from blood loss, you’re in big trouble. Now come on. If those wolves come back, I want at least a door between us, little protection as it is.”

I grabbed the man under his shoulders and started dragging him towards the [Core Room]. Squishy followed up with his feet.

The door to the [Core Room] didn’t have a latch—it was just a tight fit—so with one arm around the man, I used the other to grasp the metal loop and tugged. It scraped my heel and I groaned.

“Still need some goddamn shoes.”

I nearly headbutted the Dungeon Core as I went in. It floated away and paused, almost curiously.

“Dungeon Core, meet Unconscious Stranger. Unconscious Stranger, meet Dungeon Core. Oh, make that Handsome Unconscious Stranger.”

And he really was. Under the light of the six magical sconces, I could finally see his face clearly. He had been pretty before, but with his expression relaxed and in good light, he was gorgeous.

HUS had long hair, silky silver like the reflection of the moon on a still lake, with a dusky violet tinge. It was braided loosely and his bangs, parted on the right, were long and soft. His brown skin was smooth and a smattering of silver freckles lit up his cheeks and nose like stars in the night sky. The length and thickness of his silver lashes should have been illegal. Temptingly soft lips parted as he breathed.

He was prettier than the boy I died trying to impress, and that was not a light statement to make.

When I reached out to see if his skin and lips were as soft as they looked, I finally noticed the muck on my hands. The blood of the slick wolf had splashed onto my hands and they were just now starting to sting. Some of it was on my feet as well.

“Squishy, I am in need of your services,” I proclaimed. Squishy obligingly absorbed the corroding blood. Cool enveloped my hands and feet, before receding and leaving me with raw red patches on my hands and feet.

I really hoped killing those wolves had given me some DP. HUS needed bandages and I need ointment. Also, shoes.

I stared at my Dungeon Points and nodded in understanding.

“...Yep, I have no idea how these points work.”

A quick peek into [Room 1] revealed the two dead wolves were gone. Not even bloodstains or char remained. They'd probably been absorbed by the dungeon. As I watched my points, they increased by one.

"Blaze it!" I cackled. Then I sighed sadly at the fact that no one here would appreciate the joke and got to business.

First!

A roll of bandages was 20 DP.

HUS's bite wound was clean thanks to Squishy, so I rolled up his ruined pant leg and wrapped HUS's leg as best I could. The end was ripped with my teeth and tucked away. Maybe I should have bought scissors. Or just an entire medical kit, which was 100 DP. That low INT was really making itself known.

Speaking of...

"Why is my INT still in the single digits..."

I stretched and cracked my elbow.

"Well, whatever. If I've got terminal Dumb Bitch Disease, so be it."

Second! Shoes.

I missed it before, but there were actually crocs for sale in the Misc. section of the Item Shop. Good thing I did, otherwise I wouldn't have had enough points to make my DIY flamethrower. I bought a fur-lined pair in the same black as my coat and put them on after spreading <Weak Ointment> (30 DP) on my feet. I used some more on my hands.

Third! I went to Furniture and bought <Tiny Bathroom> for 100 DP. Yes, it was cheaper than the <Big Rug>. Must have been a really big rug. Or this dungeon system was taking pity on my delicate modern human ass. An door appeared in the corner of Core Room. It was ajar. I nudged it open and found a small but clean toilet and sink.

I soaked a small towel (10 DP) in water and wiped HUS's limbs. He had a few scratches on his arms, but nothing too serious.

I was still earning points. I tilted my head and counted to 60. My DP became 281 at 54. So my sense of time wasn't the best. Sue me. But at least I'd figured out I was earning one point each minute. Intruder points, maybe?

Pretty and earning me dungeon points? HUS was the best.

Lastly! A bed!

I considered the 150 DP single bed, then bought a large air mattress, thick blanket, and two pillows for the same price. I lifted HUS from where I'd left him leaning on Squishy and lowered him onto it. His boots were removed and so was his coat, leaving him in just his pants and shirt. His pants were dirty and I debated with myself for a minute.

We can't remove an unconscious man's pants! said prim brain.

No pants in bed! Especially if they're dirty! said rational brain.

I want to take his shirt off too, said pervert brain. Also, lmaoooo, prim brain? You don't even exist.

And so I took his pants off. He had nice legs.

HUS shivered and curled up. On his face was a slight frown and pout. It was super cute. I covered him with the blanket and tucked the pillow under his head. His face relaxed.

Cute. Seriously. I almost couldn't take it.

I was quickly approaching exhaustion. After checking the door was firmly shut, I shucked my robe and crawled into bed. Squishy had rolled to the head of the mattress. I gave it an affectionate rub.

The sconces were still lit.

"Um... lights off?" I tried.

The sconces went out. And almost immediately, I was too.