Xuelan slowly drifted awake to the sound of heavy rumbling.
Rumbling like a train.
The noise of spinning gears and clattering metal was deafening, and her nose was assaulted by the powerful smell of engine oil and grease. This boxcar was poorly lit, and it was too dark for human eyes to see anything. Inside the blackness, a single hanging infrared lightbulb swayed violently back and forth in the middle of the freight compartment, swinging like a pendulum and casting invisible shadows across the eerie space.
The infrared glow emitted by the lightbulb was outside of the visible spectrum, so Xuelan could not see anything other than pure darkness. Demons, however, had a greater dynamic visual range than humans, and they could see light in the ultraviolet and infrared spectrums. Xuelan had no way of knowing this at the time, but it was common for demons of this universe to keep their human livestock in dark rooms illuminated only with far-red light sources. This particular freight train was configured to carry miscellaneous cargo, and there was always the occasional slave shipment, so most of the railcars were always designed to keep human prisoners in the dark.
Xuelan's first reaction was fear.
She didn't know how she had gotten here, and she didn't know where this place was.
Her body was sore, and she barely felt like she could move any of her muscles.
But then in the next instant, she recognized a familiar smell and felt an unmistakable broad torso right in front of her face.
Right.
Of course, that would be Kien.
She was beginning to get used waking up always beside his side.
Currently, she was straddling his lap and hugging him, with her face partially smothered in his chest.
He was very comfortable to sit on, especially since his body was warm, and...
And...
Bloody?
She felt something hot and wet oozing out of his midsection.
Her body was practically soaking in it, almost as if she was swimming in a puddle of gore. Xuelan had no idea what she was touching, but it felt squishy, warm, and gooey.
Kien—
She was about to say, but Xuelan immediately curled over from a sudden jolt of pain.
"Nhn!" She stifled a muffled cry.
The shock collar was still active around her neck, and it had zapped her when it sensed that she was about to speak.
The sudden pain caused a rush of memories to flood into her brain. Xuelan remembered now that the incubus had previously tied her to a vibrator and forced her to orgasm for hours. She had no idea what had happened in the span of that time, but everything in her body still hurt. In fact, her tingling limbs still felt like jello, and she was too weak to even push herself up.
Irrational fear suddenly swept over her.
Xuelan's thighs began to shake uncontrollably, and spontaneous tears began to form at her eyes again. She was disconnected from her emotions, and she wasn't quite sure why her body was like this. All she knew was that she never wanted to experience anything horrible like that again, and the mere thought of being forced to orgasm continuously made her body shudder frightfully.
She didn't even care if Kien wanted to rape her every night. She'd do anything to avoid another round of vibrator torture.
The girl's shifting and disoriented movements seemed to cause the incubus to stir awake.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Xuelan.
There was an unblinking pair of golden pupils glowing in the darkness.
("Could you take your hand out of my abdominal wound? You're stirring my entrails around. It feels uncomfortable.")
Kien's voice suddenly appeared in her head like an airy cloud whispering in her brain.
His words were expressionless, flat, and clinically objective, almost as if he wasn't even talking about himself.
Surprised, Xuelan jerked back, withdrawing her hand from the warm place.
She hadn't realized that the incubus had the ability to use telepathy with her.
...What exactly had happened here? She was literally bathed in Kien's blood, and the massive amount of crimson was far beyond the amount that an ordinary human could lose. Of course, Kien wasn't human, but Xuelan could only imagine that it hurt a lot... assuming that he wasn't seriously injured... but even that was hard to say...
...Her hand had been literally inside of his bleeding guts...?
Xuelan stared blankly, not quite processing everything.
How the heck was the incubus so calm about this?! How was he not dying in pain?!
("Don't make a fuss. We are not alone. There are five other demons in this car. Potentially hostile if they realize we're different from them.")
There was a brief tug on the leash that was chained to Xuelan's neck, as if to remind her of her position as his slave.
Xuelan immediately went still.
She was deeply confused, but it was abundantly clear that her ex-boyfriend was in deep trouble. Even though he wasn't screaming from pain, the tone of his voice was serious and frigid, and she knew from past experience that the Kien was never like this unless the situation was absolutely critical. Xuelan considered it his 'gangster voice' from work, and it always used to scare her a little. After all, years ago, she had only been an ordinary high school student, and the ugly details of her ex-boyfriend's day job were never anything pleasant.
There was not much slack in the leash, and Kien held the chains tightly so that Xuelan couldn't even pull away a single inch from his chest. She had no choice but to continue laying against the incubus's torso, which Xuelan wasn't exactly opposed to (it felt intimate), apart from the alarming issue that the man was literally bleeding all over her.
She was slowly able to infer that they were traveling undercover.
The meaning of Kien's actions was that he wanted her to act like a real slave in the traditional stereotypical sense. It was rather self-evident that demons commonly kept slaves in this universe, and if they wanted to avoid drawing attention to themselves, Xuelan would have to adapt quickly in order to match the typical societal expectations.
Even though Xuelan hadn't yet seen any other demons interacting with their submissives, she did have a very good sense of proper slave behavior due to her online experiences with BDSM. The 24-year-old was familiar with all the most common rules and protocols, although she had intentionally disregarded these things when her ex-boyfriend forcibly enslaved her when he summoned her into this hellish world.
Kien had never asked her to refer to him as 'Master' or 'Sir', and likewise Xuelan had zero intentions of doing so unless he forced her to. Xuelan was perfectly aware that their interpersonal dynamics were not conventional, and it was conspicuously obvious that Kien wasn't exactly treating her as a slave. Both of them were well-versed in BDSM and both of them knew how sex slaves were supposed to behave, yet the deliberate omission of these D/s aspects spoke volumes about their fragile and complicated relationship.
Although Xuelan resented many aspects of being raped and forced against her will, she was also objectively aware of the fact that there were millions of ways that her current situation could have been far worse. Unlike the majority of abduction/slavery porn novels that she used to read on the Internet, Kien had never given her any strict rules to follow, he wasn't "training" her to be a mindless slave, and he hadn't tried to "break her in" to shatter every last shred of resistance that a freshly kidnapped victim might have.
And Xuelan genuinely respected that and quietly noted it, even though she never said anything about it.
She willing to cooperate with acting out the role of an obedient slave, at least for now.
Both of their interests aligned, and she also didn't want to encounter any homicidal monsters either.
("I'm going to use you to heal myself. You may not like it, so I'm sorry.")
Without waiting for a response, the incubus shifted the girl slightly on his lap, and slowly slid his dick into her warm hole. He did not give an opportunity for Xuelan to refuse, although he rarely gave her a choice with these things anyways.
Xuelan clenched tightly for a moment when she realized what he was doing. Her bruised pussy was painful and numb, and it caused her to whimper quietly as he slid in, but she slowly relaxed her pelvic muscles to accommodate his girth. Kien was moving very slowly, almost leisurely, and his male organ glided in and out of her. He would pause almost every stroke, resting inside for dozens of seconds as his male organ filled her up entirely. His cock would twitch and throb inside of her body, but overall he would mostly just stay in place with a rare thrust every minute or so.
It wasn't really fucking, frankly. She was just quietly sitting on top of him, feeling the hot warmth of his pulsating cock inside of her, while both of them stayed connected at their most intimate places inside this noisy dark train car.
There was a faint perceivable glow around the incubus's body.
...He was using her body as a magical healing source... like a living recovery item... and she wasn't allowed to refuse...
...But... it didn't feel bad...
...She... wouldn't mind staying here, to be honest.
("Sorry.") Kien repeated, sitting awkwardly.
Xuelan didn't say anything.
("It might take an hour or so. My injuries are severe.")
She just leaned against Kien's chest and waited quietly as the train rumbled away.
She closed her eyes, continuing to bear the residual aching pain in her abused loins.
She didn't say anything.
∎
Kien had never given her any strict rules to follow, he hadn't tried to "break her in", and he never utilized any harsh "training" to shatter every last shred of resistance that a freshly kidnapped victim might have.
Hmmm... *Looks at previous chapter* I'd count that as some harsh training. It was mindbreak-levels of torture. I think the wording here could be improved a bit.
I do find it a little weird that she seems perfectly fine from a mental standpoint after going through the previous chapter. A little disoriented at first, but that doesn't last long. Torture like that would tend to leave some serious, debilitating trauma. But I can chalk it up to some special passive she has in her status. Going through that ritual probably gave her some 'mental resistance' or something.
One general suggestion is to look for callback opportunities. Callbacks are small statements that refer back to things that happened previously and help to tie events together or draw similarities for the reader. It helps the chapter feel connected. Two examples that could have been done in this chapter:
1. You mention near the start that she's sore all over after the overstimulation, and you could have brought it back up when he was inside her, since I imagine *that spot* is probably the most sore out of everything (unless she's got other sexual recovery skills/passives in her status).
2. When she started feeling a bit accepting toward having him inside her, could have had her release a moan and get shocked again. Or if you want to maintain the fluffiness of it, could have mentioned that she needed to stifle a moan to avoid getting shocked. Or could have added it to the very last line, "She didn't say anything, and the threat of being shocked wasn't the reason why."
Small callbacks, especially right near the end of a chapter, can really help give it that extra touch to make the chapter come full circle, leaving the reader feeling more satisfied. They can be used in a variety of ways depending on the emotion you want the reader to walk away with, and often work better than cliffhangers do (a healthy mix of both is usually preferred).
Looking forward to Kien's character development more than Xue's at this point, actually. The end of last chapter showed him recognizing his shortcomings, but the question remains on whether he can act on that realization. Thus far he's done quite a terrible job at explaining anything to her and clearly feels that he owes her for what he's put her through. Looking forward to how that affects things over the next few chapters.
Thank you for this feedback! It’s exactly what I needed, and I’ll probably edit some things in this chapter!
@minacia Just re-read the chapter. Good edits.
@Mythonian It's your feedback that is good! xD
@Mythonian Despite all you told we can't slide that the human mind is one of the most flexible things possible, when it can't cope with something, it changes itself so it can cope with it. I can understand she dealing with that kind of torture because sadly I saw people living after far worse. For years. It's a tough topic, but yeah. I do see improvement on the chapter, but our race biggest pro is adaptability. And we can't forget this is an isekai, a magic world. Not our "earth", even her level of being broken have a reset button, and the way in the way it was put, it may look like it doesn't affect her memories.
Anyway, all those are my assumptions after all.
@Loggar Certainly. I'm not expecting perfect realism, since not only would that make a bad story but it'd be super hard to write and probably very boring.
But what I am expecting is for past events to have meaning, and for characters to react appropriately to that. After what she went through, becoming a quivering, blithering, insensate mess for a day or two would be reasonable. Then, that adaptability would come into play. Adaptation requires time, which means she'd need several days to process what she went through and figure out how she would move forward. Adaptation doesn't happen in an instant, which was part of what I wanted to convey in my original comment.
Or, since like you said this is an isekai and the world has a Status, that could play a part, such as a skill or ability that helps her mind recover from such traumas much faster than normal. Or maybe Kien has some passive where his slaves feel more relaxed when in his presence. Or maybe even his blood has magical properties and since she woke up bathed in it that played a part in healing her mind. Could be a million things that played a part.
I assume you commented shortly after reading, which meant you read the slightly revised version. About five sentences were added about her reactions to the previous chapter, which did a good job of helping transition her mindset. Without those sentences, her super fast adjustment felt very weird. Now that they were added, the original problem I talk about in my comment isn't exactly applicable anymore.
@Mythonian Nah, I've read the first version and the revised one I commented just on the start but I do agree this is better but idk our psychés are something strange, the soo called stockholm syndrome happened in 5 days, that's our flexibility but I do agree that most time we do take time to sink in, but adrenaline and stress sometimes force our brains to cope in faster than we imagine, just like people who survive in terrorist attack attempts and so on. When our brain doesn't have an escape he make one. It's like the old saying that a cornered animal it's far more agressive. Again just my opinion.
@Loggar Stockholm Syndrome is more a myth than reality. The original evidence was skewed, exaggerated, and distorted, and then popular culture ran with it. In reality, while captives may stop resisting, their mindsets do not really change, especially not to feelings of affection for a captor.
Also, recovering mentally from mindbreak-levels of torture isn't the same as adapting to a new situation. I agree that her mind would make an "escape" for her, which would have begun in the midst of the overstimulation. When your mind is desperately trying to defend itself from the sensations coming from your own body, theres' really only one way to escape: dissociating from your body, with your brain essentially putting itself into a semi-coma in order to survive the torture.
This is what I meant by her "becoming a quivering, blithering, insensate mess for a day or two" since her brain would be reluctant to exit from the half-conscious state. So I guess we both were talking about adapting in different ways. I don't think we actually disagree much.
In situations where people are forced to cope quickly to poor circumstances (such as terrorist victims or cornered animals), its not so much a change in mindset as a recognition of "immediate action is necessary and I'll figure it out later." I'm supportive of having her turn extremely meek and obedient for awhile, because she's recognized that she needs to do that immediately given the circumstances.
I just don't want this conflated with her truly accepting her situation or becoming innately obedient. If she kind of withdraws and lets her body act obedient and meek, that's fine, but a full, proper mental adjustment to her situation would be longer term and would require Kien to actively train her to be a proper slave, which hasn't really been happening.
@Mythonian Stockholm syndrome is real, but I agree and can relate with you in how much it's skewed, exaggerated and distorted. Especially on the so called first case in the bank of stockholm. But there are other cases and regardless of what we can say or not, the victims protected the robbers, even if the police was worst than the robbers, and there ARE several others cases in which the victims if not feeling an emulated love, felt at least a very deep empathy on the agressors or culprits something. I didn't pull the case from stockholm to say it's right, just to point that our view can be changed in very simple ways and very fast. I'm not even entering in con artists and professional "Mentalists" that use subliminar stuff to input values in 5 min.
And let's remind that dissociation isn't the only escape, tough far more rare there is people who learn to enjoy. After all, after certain threshold of pain and pleasure the body see those stimuli as unnecessary or redundant and stop inducing them (won't remember the name of the phenomenon), but I can relate to what you told but also rethink all, because the infernal vibrator was made to only work when the body was ready again. To don't cause overstymuly, just agonizing pleasure one after another.
And I indeed agree with you with the mindset of being obedient for a time as the same as an terrorist attack. But sometimes truly people cope with the problem transforming themselves into something that enjoy the process.
One of my best friends was sent to be raised to be a priest. Problem was that the monastery he was sent, had too much cases of pedophilia and forced rape. Long story short, for all instances he entered the monastery straight got out gay, non believing in God anymore, and with a specific fetish for old man with baldness and fat. That's the way his mind found to cope.
I don't disagree at all with you. But each case is different, heck there is people who enjoy being punched. I don't understand how a mind can come to such a destructive and non survivalist mindset and not be overwhelmed by self preservation instincts. But those people exist.
All things considered, I mostly agree with you, with one or other reservations. Exactly because of stuff that sadly, I saw with my own eyes or heard from the mouth of the victim itself. But yeah. Bad memories that happened with good people. Best if I stop to think about it.??
I agree that the most possible escape from this situation would be obedience, but it's hard to really predict. Sometimes in a situation where the victim felt that she AND her captor are in a bad spot, maybe the exact moment she decides to lash out (I don't think that's going to happen by the way...)
I guess in the end it's what Minacia end up doing, after all if we didn't like it we wouldn't be reading it. ?
@Loggar I understand that the symptoms displayed from Stockholm Syndrome are real, but overall I think it's more an oversimplification used to explain-away a very complicated series of circumstances. I recognize that its a bit of a controversial topic, with many clinicians recognizing and utilizing it in their practices, yet other clinicians don't believe it exists. I've mostly leaned toward the latter, preferring to focus on concepts like Trauma Bonding, Battered Woman Syndrome, and Learned Helplessness in combination with forced isolation and torture.
Hypoalgesia might be the word you were looking for, or perhaps Desensitization since hypoalgesia is specific to pain, while desensitization is a more general term that could refer to both pain and pleasure.
As for the overstimulation, don't forget that she was also receiving full-body electric shocks, and the enforced silence from the collar was a whole other type of psychological torture. It was the combination of all of this that makes me refer to it as "mindbreaking-levels of torture."
I'm truly sorry to hear what happened to your friend, and I recognize that such a thing is possible. sh*t like that is monstrous, and those people should be rotting in hell.
My only reservation is that such a mental transition would probably take weeks or months, not days. It's more akin to brainwashing than simple adaptation. I'd also attribute part of it to dissociating for a long enough period of time that your mind starts accepting the situation as "normal" which influences your perspective and expectations for the future. Starting to enjoy it seems like a longer-term defense mechanism to prevent your mind from collapsing, but I don't think it works on the short-term.
But, like you said everyone is unique and affected by things differently. Someone who was already a hardcore masochist would probably adapt much faster than Xue, obviously. The biggest reason I don't want to see a quick adaptation by her, though, is because it's part of her potential character development. Her process of adapting is a big part of the story, and for the sake of longevity and a good flow, I think it should be a slow transition. (I generally prefer stories that last for hundreds of chapters rather than ones that finish in 10-20 chapters, so preferring slow-paced stories is purely my preference, obviously not some universal truth)
@Mythonian Yes but as was stated... She is a hardcore masochist, what makes everything faaaar more akward. You see, I had an Evangelic family, it took a long time for me to come around with my sadistic tastes. It's interesting. The tortures I learned - go from sleep deprivation, sensory overload, and sense deprivation as well as edging. Some sublimal induction but nothing serious. I saw Darren Brown convert with simply inductions an atheist (he made just to prove a point because he's an atheist too) in five f*cking minutes... Made a man became a assassin sleeper cell with hipnotism... Induced his friend to want his present without telling why (never discovered how he done, and he didn't explained) and I'm not even going in flash hipnotism that works even in non believers of hipnotism, or shock hipnotism in the moment you get a scare and you open the connection to your reptilian brain. Freaky and creepy right? And I'm talking just about stuff WHITOUT medicine induced acceptibility....
But coming back to Xue, it's an acceptance that she needs. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean she will be a doll bending over. Truth be told, every single time I had a sub, be it 24/7 or just sessions, they start to have a different type of intimacy and acceptance of whom they are. But the purpose is them being in a isekai story, what she AND Kien want can be realized they are literally in hell. Both of them are in a bit of denial if you stop to think about it. Xue, thinking that it can't be better, instead of understanding how much truly their are in trouble. Kien having the stupid idea that he can give him and her time to love. They can enjoy that AFTER they are safe. I guess he's broken in his way. Could you imagine? Waiting for the woman you love for that much time, and even longing for her even in hell? That's why I told the dynamic from last chapter was great. But in the end it's an isekai. I don't think it will end soon. Actually we didn't even truly saw the powers of Kien, neither from her, and I'm pretty sure Kien WON'T let her be without powers. But that's just my opinion..
I will eventually publish my stuff dude I hope you could read until there. I think I will split the smut part of the story and make a chronicle of the guy who uses s*x as a coin (is in context of his character) Same as you miss Yuzu @minacia