Hope, Hope is the only word I truly got connected with. It all started when I was awakened when I opened my eyes to my surroundings not as a child but as a grown adult. I was just there, I was watching. With the eyes which were mine but not fully I saw the lush forests around me, I tried to move but to no avail. I tried and tried but nothing changed until it moved on its own. It's a weird feeling, it's like knowing that what's moving is your body but you have no control over it you just watch. I can not detail it better than that as humans are normally born with that right?

 I learned very fast and I quickly learned what my mission was. My mission was simply to kill for better words or to save the world from the sinners and demons down below. Through my own thoughts, I came up with one answer, a higher being that was at play who truly controlled me I was nothing more than a puppet with a conscience. I was an apostle of something far greater than me. It was fine I told myself as I killed sinners truly the world was flipped from the start for me. This ok I can deal with this attitude quickly changed when I was proceeding down to the next floors. It was fucked, I learned there were many more than me who could not control our bodies. These sinners and demons we fought were the ugliest of ugliest the first floor down was fine but after that, it was a nightmare. 

To truly understand my mindset you must understand my problem, my problem was that I had too many questions and no one to answer it scratch that no one to talk to. So to not feel the loneliness of solidarity I answered or tried to answer my questions to the best of my abilities. It worked. I had someone to talk to. I asked a lot of questions and got a lot of answers but I could never know the truth. This solution quickly became a double-edged sword as when I asked myself questions like if I could have saved that person or not I never came up with an answer but the possibilities weighted down on me. I had no choice in what I did and knowing that I even asked myself if it was worth saving them scared me of myself.

That was when I truly learned what it is like being a puppet, nothing more just a hero to save the world but was it worth it giving up all rights to be you to save the world this was one question I did find an answer to. I was chained with nothing to do than observe so that’s what I did. I learned quite a lot like the language though as if it could be used. Around a year in as I could not tell the time, I had learned, I had gotten a nickname. I was called the sandstorm prince I don’t know how I got that name as it could be because of my skin color or how I fought. I had the secret class of ascended spearsman I thought it kind of funny the description of ascended spearman was that I knew all the ways with the spear while the spear becomes one with me even though I never really wielded one and only watched. This mentality was not all bad as I could not grow arrogant or self-righteous because whatever my body did it was not me so what could I grow arrogant about.

 I knew the existence who controlled me was strong as I was the leader of a large guild who owned a lot. There was a level system of a type as when I watched my body overcome big challenges I got stronger until I hit a point where I could no more. My mindset agreed to how the existence who controlled me worked. I always fought with everything I had, using tricks and traps to truly win. I also had a type of inventory I had watched myself over and over while finding out about my health was simple as in the corner of my eye I saw my health and another bar which was stamina. A couple of times I got these new missions or weapons which were so strong was this just a way of showing we were too weak to fight the boss? There is no one to truly answer the questions I wanted. 

Being an apostle I had died before but because I was an apostle I always came back but the people did not during a mission I was forced to choose to save one or the other but I did not choose I watched as I moved to save one and watched the other die. They never returned, was being an apostle a reason to keep living after death? I was watching like always until I noticed something changed among the apostle we started to group up and start killing to help others level up I did not understand until I met it face to face. It was the strongest and largest monster I had ever seen along with some sinners of some kind. The battle was long to the point even just watching how I moved got me tired. Hours of fighting until the monster finally dropped even with all these strong weapons it took so long my dark red spear in the head was the final hit. I got loot which was put in my inventory but now was I finally free to live how I wanted? The answer was no, after the final fight I no longer was the guild master I knew I was a murderer as I watched myself kill off other apostles and then watching them never return or if they did they would run away this was when I learned the truth I was nothing more than a toy to these existences I was just a way for them to leisure around with and now the threat which must have not been too much of a threat was gone they had no use for us but rather than letting us go they played with us to the very end. It was like this until one day when I was forced to met up with other apostles and rather than killing each other it was peaceful it was a party of a sort and in the end, the other apostles gave me all their strong gear and items. I was confused I had killed some of these people but now they gave me their things then my body created an amour set and a new spear. The weapons radiated light and with just one look you could tell it was overpowered. I stood there until my eyes closed somehow knowing it was the end.