Chapter 28
Mother Bunny

~*~

After crossing the Bridge of Unity, we make our way to Eppery. A waft of nostalgia hit me as I enter the quaint town. It wasn't so long ago when Cassis first brought me here. The town hasn't changed at all, including the items that are available at the stores. The NPCs, though, now have a different script.

"The Moaning Valley is finally safe and accessible again. Hurray! But, what's there to do there?"

"Weren't you the fools looking for the Zephyrion Sword?"

"With the Bridge of Unity complete, I can finally visit my boyfriend in Asentus."

"A priest, a knight, a monk, a thief...Something's missing."

There's not much else to do in Eppery, so I check my outstanding quests.

Time to hand out the guild fliers, I suppose. It's something I'd be too embarrassed to do in my world, having to explain what it is and all. But in Zephyria, I can simply shove it at someone's body and walk off. A few of the NPCs try to throw it away, but thanks to Dracomar's magic, the fliers just fly right back to them. Very sneaky.

It turns out there are fewer than twenty people living in Eppery. I'll have to visit some more towns to complete the quest.

Before moving on to Fiddles, I set up shop by a bench to see how the Job Specialty works. Sure enough, customers start trickling in.

"What can I Buy? I don't see anything."

I show the guy my wears, mainly equipment I've grown out of and drops from battles that have no use as far as I know.

"How much for the Kitty Pelt?"

Unable to name a price, I gesture for him to propose an offer.

"How about 50 Gold?"

That's the same amount I can sell it for at a shop. I nod and take his money.

The next customer is a kid who sells me his Sandals. He buys the Leather Boots I no longer need and walks off. Some other kid arrives and buys my Sandals for a slightly higher price than I got it for. I made about 20 Gold from that transaction.

As expected, I can keep buying low and selling high to make money. The problem is the margins are so low it'd take months to make a decent living doing this. One major benefit with setting up my own shop is the variety of items that come my way. By nighttime, I've purchased 75 Bunny Droppings, much faster than if I were to collect them myself. And maybe once I'm able to set up shop in bigger cities, I'll come across rarer items and equipment.

Bored from being a Merchant, I move on to Fiddles to continue handing out fliers. After checking every pixel of the town for NPCs, I still have ten more 15 more to hand out. At this rate, I should be done by the time I get to Moaning.

I was hoping to tell Lisa about Tom's visit, but she's nowhere to be found.

I stop by Old Man Sam's house to give him the Bunny Droppings I acquired in Eppery.

"420 more!" he tells me. "Hurry up, the festival is only days away!"

I could set up shop again, but it would take months to finish the quest. There must be a quicker way.

As if to answer my plea, someone spams their text panel.

"Help! Somebody help me! I need help! Help! HELLLLLLP!"

It's that little girl and her lamb again. She's pacing back and forth in the north part of town, blocks of sweat gushing from her head.

"How can we help you?" Cassis asks, remembering her one-good-deed-a-day mantra.

"Oh, hello!" she says. "Was I yelling? I don't even know what that means. But it's horrible! You see, my lamb, Mimi, ran off into the forest over there. Again! I've been calling for her the past two days, but she hasn't returned for some reason. Oh gosh, I'm so worried! The forest is full of monsters, I just know it. Something must've happened to her. You look brave...Wait, you've helped me before! Can you please find Mimi for me again? Pretty please with cheese on top?"

I nod. There had better be a reward this time.

"Thank you, oh thank you! Be careful. I smell a foul odor emitting from the Fiddles Forest..."

And so we head into the forest. Purple wisps float towards me and seep into my nose and mouth. Caught off guard by the strong stench, I gag.

"What IS this ungodly odor!?" Elric asks what's on everyone's mind.

Cassis shields her eyes with a free hand. "It smells like Bunny Droppings...times five thousand!"

"More like farts! Someone hasn't taken a dump in months!"

"Even years of meditation did not prepare me for this," Oren says. "Asharia help us..."

"Let's find that damn lamb and get the hell out of here!"

We wade through the miasma of Bunny farts. It looks like the purple wisps cause the Poison status effect. Our health is quickly dropping, but there's no point in addressing it. Even if I cure us, the poison will just infect again. The monsters here are not threatening, so I'm too concerned, even if our health drops to 1.

I take us down the same trail as before. Demon-like eyes pop up everywhere, but the Bunnies don't dare attack  us. When we reach the clearing in the forest, we finally see the source of all the purple fumes: a Mother Bunny! This time, it's not the old man in a costume, but the real deal.

"Bargghuuughaa!!!" the Mother Bunny roars and pounds its giant fists into the ground.

The world warps.

* BATTLE START *

---

Elric slashes the Mother Bunny a few times with his daggers, barely making a dent.

The beast moans, and little objects shoot out of its behind.

"So this is the culprit!" Elric says.

"Poor thing...It must be constipated," Oren says, as he plants a palm into the bunny's belly.

-20 HP

More droppings fall out.

At this rate, we'll get enough to finish Sam's quest in no time!

I play cautious and cast Heal on myself in case the boss has any special attacks with area damage.

"Let's help empty it's bowels." Cassis simply goes in for a strike.

A giant log falls out of the beasts.

"That was...unexpected."

We continue to assault the Mother Bunny, accumulating more and more weird items. Held down by the contents of its stomach, the beast is unable to muster up any kind of strength to attack us. To keep it from dying, I keep it well-healed with spells and potions.

"This is animal abuse..." Oren says.

"Let's not worry about that until we get enough items."

Cassis puts away her sword and uses her fists instead. "I'm being as gentle as possible!"

More Bunny Droppings fall out.

"Alright, that's enough?" Oren asks.

"Maybe a few more hits to see if it drops any rares?" The thief says.

I kind of agree with Elric. We only got a piece of Maple Wood. Maybe it'll drop four more?

Before I get a chance to poke it, Sam storms into the scene.

"Hey, hey, stop! Stop it!"

---

* BATTLE END *

Sam smacks each of us in the head. "What do you think you're doing, you fiends!" He runs to the Mother Bunny and throws a few potions at it.

"We're sorry!" Cassis says.

"We weren't going to kill it." Oren tries to assure the old man.

Sam waves his hands erratically at us. "I've been fattening the beast up for months and you go and...steal its droppings...from me!"

"No, no, no," Cassy says. "We're just here looking for Mimi the lamb." She turns to me. "Right?"

I go give same the 420 Bunny Droppings we got.

He groans. "That's it? Hmm...don't you dare keep any for yourself!"

And with that, he leaves the forest.

The purple wisps are also gone.

I cast Sooth and Heal and all of us.

"Not even a thank you." Elric says. "Well, at least we got some good items from the Mother Bunny."

Cassis searches the forest. "But where's Mimi?"

"Um, everyone..." Oren directs our attention to the Mother Bunny.

The beast has lost half its weight, and is now rising to its feet. It opens its mouth, bearing fangs the length of my body.

Elric turns his back on us. "I think we should...run!"

The forest erupts with the roar of the Mother Bunny. We run and run for our lives, not interested in knowing how strong the beast is. Fortunately, it doesn't follow us out of the forest.

Back in Fiddles, we see Mary playing with her lamb.

"Oh, hello! Mimi wasn't in the forest after all. Heh!"

How did I know that was going to happen?

I make my way over to Sam's house.

The 0ld man is up and about in the kitchen, brewing up a tea concoction. "It's you guys again. You almost ruined my plan. But in the end, you did save me the effort of...extracting...all the droppings from the Mother Bunny. It wouldn't have been pleasant...for either of us."

I loiter around, waiting for my reward.

"Oh, you're hoping for some sort of reward, aren't you?" He shakes his head. "Isn't the joy of helping others enough?"

No.

"You young'uns have no philanthropic bone in you."

I don't think we have any bones in us.

He hands me a cup of tea. "Taste it."

Fearing for my life, I hand it Cassis, who passes it to Elric, who then passes it to Oren.

The monk gladly takes a sip. "It's divine!"

"Nonsense!" The old man grabs the teacup and tosses it into the kitchen liquid, the liquid with it. "It's still missing something."

"The urine from a Dirty Man," Elric suggests, mockingly.

Sam stares at him blankly. "You...are a genius! It needs bite. Urine is too strong, of course. Maybe...a spice! That's right. Pepper. Not just any kind of pepper. It needs Purple Pepper!"

Cassis chimes in. "Is that something we can get for you?"

The old man eyes us with uncertainty. "Do you even know where from?"

We all shake our heads.

"Neither do I." He sighs. "Oh well. The Tea Festival in Mahegrab is only days away. I'll have to settle for second place."

I prod him, hoping for more dialogue or a reward.

"Please leave. I have to mourn. But do return if you find Purple Pepper."

It looks like we've done all we can in Eppery.

"Shall we head to Shalaron?" Cassis says.

And so, we leave town and head south across the Aniraco Plains.