Clinton had wrapped his arms around Andromeda the moment he’d seen her. What he’d seen on the hologram had been more than a little unsettling, and though they had been rapidly putting millions of kilometers between the Sollipsis and Europa, it had been hard not to imagine something large and unknowable in the deep when he closed his eyes. He’d woken up at four the next morning again. Not because he’d wanted to. It was the restlessness. Andy rested her chin on his shoulder and kissed him behind the ear.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked softly, and he sighed, happy for her presence. He shook his head and let himself fall backwards into her embrace.
“It’s just starting to get to me, you know?” He turned around and they held each other for a bit. She made a little questioning noise as she kissed the top of his head, asking for a little clarification for what was, ostensibly, a pretty vague statement. “Training had me up on an ISS at least half the time,” he said, thinking back on his studies. It had become routine to take shuttles up when the elevators weren’t available “You get used to it. It becomes… familiar, seeing earth, the moon, the stars.” Andy made an affirming noise. They’d found out early on that her acknowledging what he was saying, that he was talking, was a good way to stave off his anxiety.
“Yeah,” she said. “I definitely get that.” She’d spent a lot of time up in space as well. Modern hydroponics had become a powerful tool to keep the world supplied with fresh food. Specially bioengineered plants had taken spectacularly well to zero-g and sunlight unfiltered by Earth’s atmosphere. A new culinary world had practically exploded onto the scene in the past three years alone, and Andromeda was, if not yet contributing, then at least learning on the frontlines of that field. She knew about the familiarity of space. She’d been aboard most major International Space Stations on study trips.
“And like, you start thinking of space as an ocean, and the solar system becomes kinda like… charted waters?” He looked up at the ceiling. “It feels safe and you know what’s here, and then something like this happens and I can’t help but realize that almost every object in our little system here is just as big as a planet that took us millennia to explore most of, and that many of them are bigger and scarier and more hostile and hold even more secrets…” He sighed deeply and Andromeda ran her fingers over his back. It was soothing, and he was incredibly grateful to have her there. “And then to realize that these planets are nothing compared to the distance between them, and then that the distance between these planets is infinitesimally small compared to the distance between stars, and we know almost nothing. It’s just starting to get to me that we have no idea what’s going to happen when we finally head out there.”
“Only one way to find out,” Andromeda said with a little smirk. She’d made no secret of it that she understood his trepidation, but didn’t share it. She had always been more adventurous than him, and a part of him wondered if their respective postings, command versus the science branch, had been partially informed by outdated gender roles. She’d always been naturally proactive, whereas it had literally taken Clinton years of training to take charge. And even then he felt he was still behind on where she was. “If anyone can safely get us up the Orion Arm, it’ll be you,” she added, soothing. He snuggled up against her and they both fell back asleep.
The next morning, the actual morning, not the infernal time they’d woken up at earlier, they both got dressed slowly. There would be a debrief with the Admiralty in Earth dock, but Clinton’s presence hadn’t been requested. There wasn’t much he’d be able to add unless Captain Durand’s conduct would come into question, which meant shore leave, and probably the last bit of shore leave on Earth before their mission. Clinton was intending to see his family one more time; like most of the crew, he wanted to spend a lot of his first day getting to know the rest of his fellow officers in a less formal setting. There simply hadn’t really been the time yet. Their first mission had become so complicated so quickly, small talk had been left out in the rain until just now, and Clinton looked forward to getting better acquainted with the people he’d been working with for the next few years.
When he and Andromeda made it to the airlock, they saw Navigator Nguyen standing by, waiting for the cycling to be finished. Clinton nodded at them, and Alex stood at attention, saluting with enough precision and swiftness to have cut a passing fly in half mid-flight. Clinton returned the salute, and he noticed Andromeda doing the same.
“Good morning, Commander,” Nguyen said, their voice level. Clinton suppressed a smile, not wanting to give off the wrong impression.
“Mx Nguyen,” he said, “good morning.” He paused for a moment, then looked at the airlock. “Can I make a request of you?” He saw the navigator’s shoulders tense up. As long as they were on the ship, a First Officer’s ‘request’ was something you defied at your own peril, and it was clear Nguyen was wanting to make the most of their shore leave.
“Of course, sir,” they said, their jaw clenched subtly, but not subtle enough for Clinton not to pick up on.
“Nothing major,” he said. “But when we’re on the other side of those doors,” he pointed, “please call me Clinton.” Alex visibly relaxed, and then smiled slightly.
“Yes, sir,” they said, but the tense tone in their voice wasn’t present. Andromeda nudged Clinton between the ribs, probably payback for giving the navigator a little fright like that. He couldn’t help but smirk at her. The airlock opened, they stepped in and, just as the doors were about to close, Science Officer Prakoso and Security Officer Mayes quickly hopped in. Both nodded to the others present, both already wearing their more casual clothing, rather than their uniforms. The outer doors opened and all of them stepped out to see Jackson talking to a station official. Talking somewhat intimately. He turned to the others as they approached, and the other person, a slightly shorter man, slipped his arm around Jackson’s waist.
“Hello, Commander Blake,” he said with his trademark hoarseness. Clinton waved as if Manderley’s words were smoke to be dissipated. He had trouble connecting to people sometimes, as well as getting them to neither treat him like a child due to his age or height nor as a superior officer to be mistrusted. This wasn’t a military ship, some fraternizing wasn’t discouraged. To the contrary, in fact. On the other hand, being called by his first name had the potential to make him uncomfortable sometimes, as if the familiarity felt fake, somehow. Still, with some help from Andy, he had been trying to force himself to move past that discomfort and accept people calling him by his first name.
“Clinton, when we’re not on the ship, please.” Andromeda squeezed his hand. She could tell he was hoping Jackson would pick up on it. From the looks of it, he did. Jackson’s face split into a jovial grin.
“Clint it is.” He nodded approvingly of Clinton’s concession and breach of protocol, and whispered on. “Hasan and Nguyen I know.” When Hasan had been under Manderley’s console to rewire it, there had been more than enough time for Jackson to get to know him and his Navigator. “Mayes, right?” He nodded at Evangeline, who nodded back. She was still a little stiff, betraying the strictness of her previous posting. More than most others there, her military background made her a little less approachable. Still, Clinton noticed she made the effort to smile back.
“Evangeline,” she said softly, but her voice resonated with a clarity that made it easily heard across the hall. “Call me Eve. Or Eva, I guess.”
“That just leaves you,” Jackson said, looking at Andromeda. “Going by the way you and Clint seem like you’re just about ready to take a bullet for each other I’m going to assume you’re… brother and sister.” Both of them opened their mouth to protest, only to see Jackson wink glibly at them. “Got you. What’s your name?”
“Andromeda,” Andy smirked. “You must be Jackson Manderley.”
“Oh?” Jackson’s eyebrows went way up. “You’ve heard of me?”
“You’re not the only one paying attention, Jackson,” Andy said with a confident grin, and Clinton once again considered himself lucky for getting to be the man to date her. She was gorgeous when her confidence carried her through conversations like this. “Who’s your…” She looked at the official who had been clinging to Manderley the entire time. “Companion?” she hazarded.
“Don’t know yet,” Jackson said. “What’s your name, babe?”
“Malik,” the man said softly, and that seemed to be the beginning and end of it.
“Cool.” Jackson looked at the others. “Malik and I were thinking of grabbing a responsible coffee at the nearest watering hole. Any of you want to join us?” Clinton looked at everyone there, who gave approving shrugs and nods. There was a small chorus of ‘I’m down’s, and Clinton and Andromeda added their own voices to it.
“Lead the way.”
After a few minutes, they had bumped into Maria Holloway and, one accepted invitation later, they were all sitting in a large booth at a nearby café, having ordered coffees, teas and, in Andromeda’s case, an extra large hot chocolate with whipped cream. She’d dared anyone who looked to say something about it with a raised eyebrow and a playful glare.
“So,” Hasan said, “do we want to talk about what happened on Europa?” He sipped an espresso and looked at everyone there. He didn’t seem particularly worried, but Clinton also didn’t get the feeling he was in the mood to make light of the subject. Manderley turned to Malik to explain what they’d found, then froze and looked at Clint, probably to ask for permission. The event on Europa wasn’t exactly public knowledge. Clinton nodded.
“It’s going public soon,” Clinton said. “The Captain told me the Europa findings will be public knowledge this time tomorrow.” He shot Jackson A Look. “Just don’t cause a panic.” Jackson nodded, and Clinton hoped he’d picked up on what had been put down. “Anyway…” He paused and took a sip of his tea. “I can’t pretend it hasn’t been on my mind. Complex life in our solar system?” He looked around the table. “Personally, I still want to go on the Sollipsis mission, but I don’t think I’d hold it against anyone here if they wanted to stay back and see how the situation develops.”
“I don’t see anything changing any time soon,” Alex said, leaning back. “It’s going to take years before we send anything down there safely, and getting approval to send the resources out there for a full research mission is going to take who knows how long.” They shrugged. “I’d rather get updates while we’re making discoveries of our own.” They smirked. “Well, more discoveries.”
“I agree,” Evangeline said, and Maria nodded in agreement, looking intently at Eva. “We stumbled onto something big, but I’m here to see more of the universe. Deep sea creatures are… interesting.” She shivered and Clinton got the feeling Eva was still not entirely comfortable with how close she’d been to whatever they’d encountered. “But I’m here to explore space. That’s what I was approached for, that’s what I want to do.” There were a few glasses and cups raised in agreement. They sat in silence for a minute, nodding quietly. Andy kissed Clinton’s cheek quietly, and he returned it happily.
“You sure?” he whispered. He still had trouble believing she’d want to stay with him. As a biologist, the discovery they’d made could be staggeringly important to the future of biology, and he wouldn’t hold it against her if she wanted to stay. But she’d made it very clear that she wanted to join him on the Sollipsis, both for him and the mission. She knew what she wanted, and she’d made that very clear to him. Her decisive attitude was something Clinton had always found attractive. Part of him wished he could be more like her, sometimes, if only because he’d spent hours debating whether or not to stay behind.
“I’m sure,” Andromeda whispered in his ear. He shivered and tried not to show how comfortably uncomfortable that made him, and he nearly choked on his own tongue when he saw Captain Durand. She seemed surprised to see them and walked over, her stride as disciplined as her command.
“Hello everyone. Enjoying shore leave?” Clinton couldn’t help but notice her stiffness. He nodded.
“We are. Did the debriefing go well?”
“It did,” Captain Durand said. “Nothing much changed, but they wanted to hear everything from me all over again.” The corner of her mouth went up by a fraction. “I may have wasted their time ever so slightly.” Jackson disguised a laugh as a cough. The Captain stood there awkwardly for a moment, then turned to tap something on a tablet. Clinton cocked his head, thinking she was clearly trying to look busy, until Andy gently nudged him. Clinton looked around, getting invisible nods and confirmations.
“Would you like to join us, Captain?” he asked, and Cathérine’s genuine smile alone was worth how awkward it was going to be to have coffee with their Captain.
“I would love to,” Cathérine Durand said, and pulled up a chair. It was awkward. It was also quite nice.
I really like Clinton, I relate so much to the anxiety and watching him work through it in a healthy practiced manner really gives me hope that I'll get there too someday
"You were always welcome." ?