“Damnit man, how many boxes of crap do you have?” I complained for the umpteenth time. I half-dropped a heavy box of fragile collectibles into the back of Nash’s pickup truck, hoping that the crack I had heard was my back and not something ridiculously expensive. Until yesterday, I had all but forgotten promising to help Nash and his girlfriend Holly move into their new apartment. The two had been renting a small studio apartment close to campus but had decided to move a bit further away to afford something larger. While Holly worked on unpacking in their new home, Nash, Reg, and I were supposed to be hauling over the last of their belongings and had spent the day productively: hanging out and playing video games. With the sun setting, we were forced out of our state of perpetual procrastination and faced the challenge of actually get some work done.

“I’m sorry, dude. You know how it goes, you buy a little here and there and eventually you’ve got a closet full of treasures,” Nash mused and riffled through a box. While Nash was busy reminiscing, and not helping with his own move, we were approached by a stack of cardboard boxes with two stubby legs underneath.

“Aww, is a little bit of heavy lifting too much for you, princess?” Reg effortlessly set down his large haul of cargo. He grinned broadly, happy to finally have a suitable excuse to show off his hard-earned strength. Nash and I had learned a simple truth about Reg over the past couple of years: if you could challenge his ego, he would literally do ninety percent of the work in almost any scenario. All it took was betting him that he couldn’t carry more boxes than Nash and I combined and wouldn’t you know it, he was more than happy to prove us wrong. Coincidentally, we were more than happy with this outcome as well. “I’ll go grab the rest of the boxes, I think that makes the score twenty to five?”

“Damn, you destroyed us,” I said with feigned amazement. I think he earned a little bit of flattery for literally lightening our load. As Reg hopped back up the stairs to Nash’s old place, Nash and I shared a fist-bump in honor of a plan well executed.

“Well played, sir. Oh, right, Holly wanted me to invite you and Reg over for a housewarming dinner tomorrow night, you in?” Nash sat down on the tailgate of his truck, officially dropping all pretense of actually working.

“I’d love to man, but I already agreed to meet up with Lilith and go over some stuff for the game.” I took a seat next to Nash who was giving me the smuggest smile I’d seen in my entire life. Normally, Nash was the chillest guy you’d ever meet. Seriously, it was one of the things I really liked about him. However, he had one major weakness, his coolness kryptonite if you will; he was hopelessly obsessed with relationships and drama. My working theory was that he had been hit on the head as a baby and it had crossed some wires, this tragic accident causing him to view the whole world as one giant soap opera he was free to interact with. Despite their best efforts, no doctor had been able to cure his affliction; it was terminally annoying.

“Oh, I see. ‘Going over some stuff for the game.’ Alright. Yeah, Holly and I were going to christen our new place by ‘building a pillow fort and watching Star Wars’. Come on man, be real.” Knowing Nash and Holly, they actually would be christening their new place by making a pillow fort and watching Star Wars... the entire original trilogy. Then they’d follow it up with the extended cuts of the entire Lord of the Rings series. That’s just the kind of couple they were. Regardless, I knew what he was insinuating.

“Lilith and I are just friends.” Yes, just friends. Friends who used to routinely tie each other up for fun, friends who go dancing in the castle of a giant magical serpent for hours on end (not a euphemism, shockingly enough), friends who whisper sweet nothings to each other between expressions of affection. You know, just friends. It was obvious that Nash wasn’t buying it, as well he shouldn’t have. I was crazy for Lilith and was ninety-nine percent sure she felt the same way about me. However, it was that damn one percent in the back of my mind that haunted me. The one percent that whispered ‘it’s just a game’ again and again. Which is why I knew I had to shake things up and challenge the status quo. I had to ask her out in real life. Holy crap, I threw up a little just thinking that.

“Sure, just friends. Just make sure not to act all love-struck and jealous in front of her or you’ll end up whipped.” Was that a threat or a promise?

After the last of the boxes were loaded into our cars, the three of us separated to take on the long, traffic-ridden journey to Nash’s new abode. I was grateful to have some actual time to myself for the first time in days. My time in traffic gave me the opportunity to decompress and reflect on everything that had happened recently. I guess that was the magic of life's little inconveniences.

I was seriously loving my time as Rose, that much I couldn’t deny. This revelation scared the ever-loving crap out of me. I knew that if I let myself, I would end up just as I was in high school. That was not an option. So instead, I decided on the route of extreme self-delusion. This WAS just a game. I could play Grand Theft Auto for hours and have no real desire to go on a murderous rampage. I can play shooters for days on end without having any inclination towards joining the military. This was the same thing, right?

Some inconsiderate jackass cut me off on the freeway and I slammed on the brakes. After the requisite swearing and horn blaring, I noticed that a few of the boxes in my back seat had fallen over and spilled some of their contents. Topping the mountain of displaced items was a green blouse. Seeing it reminded me of the dress I’d worn yesterday -- that Rose had worn yesterday. Somehow, I was the first to arrive in front of Nash’s new building; a lucky break as this gave me time to repack the spilled boxes before bringing them up to the condo. I had quickly stuffed everything that rained onto the floor of my car back into its proper home; everything but the blouse. What the hell was I doing? I wasn’t seriously considering keeping it, was I? I heard wheels approaching my car and dropped the blouse, which seemed to disappear under the seat of my car. That settled that I suppose.

After an evening of pizza and involuntarily witnessing Nash and Holly’s awkward PDA, I was ready to simply relax in my dorm room. Before heading up, I snaked my arm under my car seat to retrieve the lost shirt. I hid the green lump of fabric under my jacket and snuck along the walls of my dorm. I checked corners, kept a lookout for passerby, and tried to avoid cameras, ineffectively James Bonding my way into the building; ironically acting way more suspicious than if I had just walked in normally. Once I was safe in my room, I made my way over to the mirror. I held the shirt in front of me and saw… a guy holding a women’s shirt. I’m not going to lie, I felt pathetic. More than that, I was angry at myself for expecting anything different. I didn’t even try to put it on. How could I? I was just a sad, pathetic, disgusting excuse for a man who had deluded himself into wanting something else, again.

The next day, Lilith came to my dorm room. Hey! Get your minds out of the gutter, we really were just going to continue the game… probably. As Lilith entered the room, she gave me a tight squeeze; I had forgotten how much I’d enjoyed human contact these few years without her. We sat down on my bed and talked absolute nonsense for about an hour. It was obvious she was anxious to start the game. Meanwhile, I was anxious about something else entirely, something I figured I had avoided bringing up long enough.

“So, I was wondering, do you have plans tomorrow?” I asked, my heart beating too fast and too loudly in my ears. I had asked her similar questions more times than I could count, but none of them had the weight and meaning behind it that this one did.

“Well, I’m meeting with my advisor in the morning to finalize my credit transfers, but if you wanted to meet in the afternoon to continue the game I should be free,” Lilith said, blissfully ignorant of my internal struggle as I formed my next sentence.

“Actually I was thinking we could movie. I mean, we could see one. See movie. The two of us. Tomorrow. Yes?” As you can tell, I modeled my speech patterns after the Hindenburg: crashing, burning, and becoming a national tragedy.

“Oh… OH!” Realization hit Lilith on her second exclamation. Her eyes widened and she beamed. “I would love to movie with you.” She chuckled, mocking me. I was one hundred percent okay with this: bring on the mockery, I was over the moon.

Thanks to the marvels of modern technology, within minutes we had checked out times and theaters around us and had a solid plan for our date. We even found a cute little restaurant nearby to eat at after the show. After asking her out, my nervousness had subsided instantly… that lasted for all of ten seconds before I realized I had a date with her tomorrow, at which point it returned with a vengeance.

Having gotten that herculean task out of the way, I was more than happy to start the game. Once more, I saw the world fade out around me. It was almost surreal how accustomed I’d become to this sensation.

Lilith and I were back in the throne room, which actually had its throne today. Lilith was wearing black pants with laces running up the sides and a black long-sleeved crop top. Her usual heels had also been replaced by a pair of flats. I, on the other hand, was wearing my same tunic and pants from day one. Thankfully, they had been mended and didn’t leave me open to the elements. Despite feeling comfortable in my adventuring gear, I had to admit I was a little disappointed in my clothes after the amazing attire I had been granted last time. Lilith picked up on my disappointment immediately.

“Aww, did Cinderella hope that midnight would never come? Sorry dear, but we have work to do.” Lilith snapped her fingers and a second wooden door appeared next to the first. At first glance, they looked eerily similar, but while the first one had carvings of a serpent circling a castle, this new door was etched with a design that looked like a bear sleeping in a town. The door opened automatically and Lilith and I walked into the blackness ahead.

After the impressive spectacle from last time, I had expected something truly breathtaking as we shifted into the new realm. I was sorely disappointed. Lilith and I had entered a small room with aged wood floors and walls. Aside from Lilith and me, the only thing present in the room was a large wooden chair with a truly massive man sitting in it. The man was obviously up in years; he was bald with age spots dotting his head and wore tiny glasses over greying eyes. He was strikingly tall and exceedingly muscular, wearing simple burlap clothing. As we entered, he was reading a book and didn’t bother looking up to greet us. I couldn’t tell if he hadn’t noticed our entrance or if he simply didn’t care.

“What’s up, old fart?” Lilith said with disdain.

“Oh, great, it’s the incompetent little witchling.” It seemed the feeling was mutual. The man didn’t bother looking at Lilith as he addressed her; rather, he looked up from his book for a second to examine me before snorting and returning to the pages. “Got yourself a pet, did you? I personally would have gone for a dog.”

“Can you just tell me what the trial is so we can get this over with?” It disturbed me that Lilith didn’t correct him about the pet thing.

“Fine, goddamn impatient child. I hid my bookmark somewhere in the town. Find it in the next three hours or fail.” The man licked his finger and turned a page. “You have your instruction, now get out of my house.” At the man’s command, an invisible force hurled Lilith and me through a wooden door and sprawled us out on the cobblestone streets of what appeared to be a medieval city. Townsfolk walked to and fro going about their everyday lives; some herded animals while others carried groceries back to their homes. Scattered about were knights in gleaming armor, swords strapped to their waists. I took in the fantastic sight, as well as the literally shitty smells, while Lilith stood up, thoroughly unamused.

“I swear, one of these days I’m going to set fire to that bastard’s hut and lock him in it.” Lilith looked enraged enough to make good on her promise, so I put a comforting hand on her shoulder, hoping with all my being that her anger was non-transferable. Thankfully, my gambit worked and she lit up, having been reminded of her purpose in this strange new land. “Alright, first things first, we need to get you some new clothes.” Okay, maybe she needed a little reminding of our purpose there.

“Wait a second, don’t we have a deadline for the trial? Shouldn’t we actually complete the mission before we start messing around?” I asked, having to be the voice of reason for once in my life. I hated the taste of responsible words in my mouth.

“Oh please, the crotchety old geezer apparently cares about the trial as much as Uncle Rellan. I’m a witch, I can scry for the bookmark and find it instantly. The way I figure it, we have two hours to kill to at least make the geriatric giant think we had to scratch our heads over this one.” Lilith was remarkably confident, which made sense given that she designed this game. Even so, I felt strangely unfulfilled by this turn of events. I mean, one throwaway trial is fine, lots of games give away the first point to make you feel safe, but two in a row? I guess the trials really were ancillary to her, a means to an end to get me to cooperate and play a part in her scenario.

Knowing that Lilith was unquestionably in charge in this world, I decided not to rock the boat and to simply go with the flow. I resigned myself to whatever fate my friend had in store. As it turns out, that fate involved a store, several actually. Lilith dragged me from store to store in this town. Most of the time we would simply pass through a shop before continuing on but every once in a while something caught Lilith’s eye and I was made to try it on. Lilith was obviously well to do in this world as she bought everything she liked seeing on me. One such item that had Lilith’s eyes sparkling like a child at Christmas was a tan leather corset. The moment she saw it, I already knew where this was heading.

Lilith braced her foot on my back and pulled on the laces which forced the leather to grow tighter and tighter, constricting me like an anaconda with a grudge. “Okay, so if it’s too tight, just let me know.”

“Too tight! Too tight!” I wheezed, somehow willing air out of my collapsed lungs. Lilith mercifully released about one ten-thousandth of a centimeter worth of lacing before expertly tying up my new rib-cracking garment. As a human being lucky enough to have been born without respiratory problems, I didn’t know it was possible to crave air as one would crave their favorite meal. Lilith, on the other hand, looked happy as a clam as she eyed my new outfit which had been acquired throughout the day. I now wore a long forest green skirt, which was flared enough not to impede movement, a short-sleeved white cotton top, and my abdomen’s leather nemesis.

Lilith excitedly led me to a mirror and gave me the chance to see how I looked. I was beautiful. The outfit was beautiful. For that one glorious moment in time, everything was perfect; everything made sense. Before I really had time to process the rush of emotions assaulting me, I started tearing up. I wasn’t upset, far from it. I was awash with pure, unbridled, uninhibited joy.

Lilith held me close for a few minutes until I regained control of myself. My face was in pain from smiling wider than I ever had in my life, but I didn’t mind one bit. “My beautiful Rose,” Lilith gently whispered in my ear, “now you see yourself as I’ve always seen you.” Goddamnit Lilith, I had just stopped crying and you were already trying to pry more tears from me. Standing next to her in that shop, all I could do was nod dumbly in response. Had she really seen me like this from the beginning? Despite who I was, despite what I looked like, despite how the world forced me to act, she saw my soul laid bare and I loved her for that.

“I’m going to go and pay for this, I’ll be right back.” Lilith left me by the mirror and I continued to stare, posing and playing with the fabric. An older woman, maybe in her mid-forties, with shorter black hair and midnight robes approached me.

“Well, aren’t you two a lovely couple.” She smiled kindly towards me and I could feel myself blush. “You and her seem good together; I wonder if that will remain.”

“Excuse me?” No really, excuse me? That seemed kind of rude and completely out of left field. Who the hell was this?

“Oh nothing, sorry about that, please allow this old woman her idle thoughts.”

“You’re not old,” I said out of habit from working customer service. Remember, kids, flattery is the key to having to put up with substantially less bullshit. The woman chuckled and covered her mouth.

“My, aren’t you sweet. Here, take this as a token of goodwill. It might come in handy on one or two occasions.” The old woman reached into the sleeve of her robe and produced a glowing amethyst ring. She grabbed my hand and placed it in my palm. “This ring has power, but if I may make a suggestion, keep it a secret from your friend. She may not appreciate its appearance.” I stared into the ring, mesmerized by its beauty and otherworldly glow. By the time I looked up again, the woman was nowhere to be seen. I pocketed the ring, and as it entered its new home Lilith returned, ready to continue our day.

The two of us left the shop and made our way to a small inn which Lilith claimed served the best food in the area. This didn’t seem like that impressive a feat to me as the only other food vendors I saw had smelled of chamberpots and what I’m assuming were hints of bubonic plague. The place Lilith led me to smelled of bread; stale bread, but it at least smelled edible. Lilith and I sat at the table waiting for the food she had ordered us. I really wasn’t hungry and seriously doubted that Lilith was either. Being here, at a restaurant, was more of a ritual. People tend to gravitate towards eating together when wanting to be closer to someone. In a sense, we would be literally and figuratively breaking bread with one another.

“Thank you for today. This was wonderful,” I managed to say between mouthfuls of depressingly dry baked goods. “I know I don’t say that nearly enough for all you do for me. Sincerely, thank you for being the best person I know.”

Lilith smiled at me from across the table, her eyes beautifully reflecting the candlelight. For once, it seemed like I had left her at a loss for words. It was bound to happen eventually; let’s face it, I’ve got a way with words. Yes, generally it’s the wrong way, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Today had been a truly enjoyable day, but all good things must come to an end. Lilith pulled out a crystal and started chanting her scrying spell. In a few seconds, she would ascertain the bookmark’s location, we would retrieve it, and just like that our day would come to a close. Lilith started chanting faster and faster, as she did the crystal in her hand began to glow a faint blue. I watched in amazement as Lilith channeled a power I could never comprehend through the translucent pyramid in her palm. Without warning, the glow turned red and the crystal seemed to pop out of existence. “That’s not at all how I expected a spell to work,” I admitted in awe.

“That’s because it didn’t work… what the hell?” Lilith was agitated and repeated the process with a new crystal to a similar result. “What the actual hell is going on!?” Lilith was visibly and audibly upset. She quickly stood up, grabbed me by the hand and dragged me out of the inn. We rapidly made our way through the streets and back to the old man’s shack. Lilith kicked open the door and stormed in; her expression was so fierce I could almost hear “Ride of the Valkyries” playing in the background. “Old man, why isn’t scrying magic working?”

“Because I have forbidden it in my domain. Wow, it took you long enough to figure out. Enjoy your day lazing about?” The old man was still reading his book, which he had made significant progress on during the day.

“What!? That’s bullshit! How the hell am I supposed to find your goddamn bookmark in a town without scrying magic? This is a witch’s trial; using magic is kind of par for the course, right?” I had never seen Lilith fly off the handle like this. She must have been really getting into the role.

“Listen, child, just because this is a witch’s trial doesn’t mean I’m beholden to test your magical prowess. Lord knows you’re more than proficient in spellcraft. No, I am taking measure of you as a person, and right now, things aren’t looking great.” If looks could kill, Lilith’s glare would have obliterated the man, brought him back from the dead and killed him again.

The two argued back and forth; Lilith grew more and more agitated as the man continued to focus on his book and not her. Time was quickly winding down and I knew that we only had minutes left before failing the old man’s test.

I hated doing this; I always avoided it at all costs, and I had already done this once before today, meaning I was nearing my limit. I had to reach deep inside myself and channel my forbidden skill. I had to unleash the curse which had bestowed upon me great and terrible power. I internally apologized to Lilith, hoping one day she would understand the drastic measures I had to take this day.

CUSTOMER SERVICE MODE: ENGAGED

“Hey, sir, if you don’t mind me asking, what is it you’re reading?” I spoke in a sickeningly sweet voice that made me hate myself a little bit.

Lilith and the man ceased their bickering and both of them turned to face me. Lilith seemed weirded out by my extremely out of place question while the man seemed curious. “It’s a biography, it’s the story of the life --”

“That is so not the point right now, who cares about your damn book? Tell me how I was meant to pass your trial!” Lilith was in an absolute frenzy. Instead of answering her in the traditional sense, the man sighed and held up a hand. Lilith was forced back against the wall and began grunting and growling as if she couldn’t speak.

“Interrupting people is rude. I swear, some people lack any and all class. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, I’m reading a biography of our coven’s matron, Mareen the Just.” At the mention of the name Mareen, Lilith growled like an animal. I was convinced that she would have made the same noise whether or not she could have spoken at the time.

“That’s interesting, where’d she get her nickname from?” I really wasn’t interested, but the old man certainly was. He seemed genuinely excited to keep talking about this Mareen woman.

“Well, a few decades ago, our coven was on the brink of disbandment. Rogue witches acted without care or concern for the wellbeing of their fellow practitioners, more and more of our kin turned to human crime enterprises to use their gifts to turn a monetary profit, we had members battling to the death over petty squabbles; needless to say, we were a damn mess. Well, Mareen took charge when nobody else was willing to do so; she worked tirelessly to institute new laws which brought us out of the dark ages and used her superior power to enforce them. Those of us who still wished to live under the protection of a coven fully accepted Mareen as our leader and have thrived for that decision.”

“She seems like an amazing woman; would there happen to be a picture of Mareen in the book by chance? I’d love to put a face to the name.” Now I was legitimately interested. Mareen sounded badass. The man nodded excitedly, pulled a bookmark from his pocket to save his place, and flipped to a page towards the beginning of the book before handing me the tome. Mareen was a young woman with short black hair and a kind smile. She was photographed sitting on a throne in a hall, but her posture didn’t suggest an air of superiority; no, she seemed nurturing and benevolent. In fact, she almost looked like a younger version of the woman I had met in the store earlier today.

“Sir, this wouldn’t happen to be the bookmark we were tasked to find, would it?” I asked pointing towards the small scrap of cardboard nestled between the pages.

The man chuckled slightly. “That it is, young lady.” The man gestured with his hand and Lilith was freed from her post. “Congratulations, your friend here just passed the trial for you.” The man turned to face me, a kind smile on his face. “And I apologize for calling you a pet earlier; I didn’t expect little Lily to keep such kind company.”

Lilith was stunned. “How the hell were we supposed to find the bookmark if you had it the whole time?”

Once more the man sighed. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. “Did I not tell you that I was measuring you as a person? A witch must not just be adept with magic, but be adept with people. Kindness and understanding, especially for those we dislike, are two of the most valuable skills for witches and people in general. I would have handed over the bookmark if at any point you had tried to speak with me or bury the hatchet of our past feud. Instead, you entered with blatant hostility and refused to speak with me for longer than necessary. You, Lily, have failed this trial and it is by the grace of your friend that you have passed. I have always believed that the company we keep says a great deal about us as people and I can only hope it is true for you as well.”

Lilith didn’t know what to say. She stared, shell-shocked, at the man who had only made eye-contact with her to point out her faults and shortcoming in a concise and well thought-out manner. There was no more argument to be had; any more attempts to do so would have been pathetic and useless. “I’m sorry,” Lilith managed to whisper before retreating through the wooden door which led to her sanctum.

The old man turned to me, concern in his eyes. “I know we’ve just met and it is unbelievably rude to ask a favor this early in an acquaintanceship, but please help her. She has the potential to be so much better than she is now. I believe that she can become a guiding light for all of us, perhaps with some guidance from you.” I nodded and the man smiled before gesturing to his door. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Rose.”

“The pleasure is mine.” I smiled once more before following Lilith back to the dungeon. When I arrived, Lilith was sitting on her throne, dejected. This all seemed to go beyond a dedication to roleplaying.

As I approached the throne, Lilith looked up weakly. “I’m sorry, Rose. Today you saw a truly disgusting side of me. I… I truly was a bitch, wasn’t I?”

I placed a hand on Lilith’s shoulder as she had done for me before. “Lilith, you are not a bad person. You are an amazing person. Everyone gets angry from time to time and everyone has people they just can’t stand; it’s part of being human. Hell, there are some people I would treat much worse than that if I ever saw them again. You’re fine.”

“You are sweet,” Lilith grabbed my hand on her shoulder, “but sometimes too sweet. I have a long way to go to be the person I’m meant to be. I need to be better.”

“Lilith, this seems a little far for roleplaying, what’s up?” I finally asked the question that irked me.

“This dungeon, my sanctum, is a fiction, a game I designed for you and your friends. The trials are not. Every place we visit in the trials is real. They are real places populated by real beings who have really been tasked with judging me. I did lie about one thing, however. I’m not being tested to keep the rank of ‘high witch’; no, I’m being tried to not be branded a pariah. I did something no witch is ever supposed to do, and there are many who would see me exiled or killed. I’m being tried just to maintain my status as a witch at all.” Lilith looked at me, grief staining her face. “I’m sorry, but I’m not the person you think I am.” Not knowing what else to do, and being a complete and total moron with no regard for my own safety or well being, I purposefully tripped on my foot and headed face first for pavement. Lilith jumped out of her throne and caught me in her arms before I hit the ground. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?” she asked, breathless and panicked.

“Proving a point, I guess. I don’t know what you’ve done or why you’re so hard on yourself, but you’re still my Lilith. You were the first friend I ever made, the crazy girl who approached me in the middle of winter on one of the worst days of my childhood and made everything better. You were the person I could talk to about literally anything and who made me feel like a person for the first time in my life. You were my first love, the first truly irreplaceable person I had ever met. You are kind and strong. You are playful and beautiful. You are the only person I would trust to catch me every time. I love you. I know exactly who you are and I love you. Don’t you dare say that I don’t know who my best friend, my love, truly is.”

I saw Lilith begin to tear up for the second time ever; she pulled me into an embrace and I felt the familiar sensation of returning to reality. I woke up in my room and Lilith was already up and at ‘em, staring at me with an intensity I had never seen before. The moment she realized that I was conscious, she pounced on me. She pressed her lips to mine and my mind exploded with the sensation. Her warm, passionate kiss lasted for a while, and when she finally pulled away we were both breathless.

Lilith tore off her shirt, exposing a black lace bra which was very reminiscent of our night in the dungeon, before removing my own top. She trailed kisses down my neck while I ran my hands up her back. I could feel the warmth of her skin on my fingertips and the tensing of her muscles as my hands made their way up. When Lilith’s mouth had found its way to my collarbone, it reversed course and swept back up to my chin in one quick lick which sent chills down to my core. Lilith changed her focus and ran her nails lightly up my sides. When she reached the top of my torso she grabbed each of my hands and brought them above my head. She planted another passionate kiss on my lips and I sighed into her, struggling to keep up with her pace.

“I love you so much, Rose,” Lilith said breathlessly between the amazing feats she was performing with her tongue and special guest star, my tongue.

I don’t know what possessed me to even talk at the moment. Normally, at this point, I wouldn’t care what the hell my name was. I could be called Shabalabadingdong and be one hundred percent on board with it. However, it was Lilith, and it was THAT name. That specific combination of circumstance reignited all of my internal doubts and the voice in my head started chanting ‘it’s all a game’ again and again. “My name is Ross.”

Lilith ceased her advances immediately. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s all fine and dandy to play the part of Rose in the game, but this is reality. I’m Ross, remember? I just, you know, want to make sure we’re clear. Rose only exists in the game.” Lilith looked at me with confusion.

“So Rose, and everything that happens in the other world. All of that is just a game to you?”

“No, of course not. I mean, partially. Rose is definitely just a part of the game, but I meant everything I said about you. I love you, Lilith.” Lilith climbed off of me. She stood over my bed and used her hands to cover up.

“How can you still say that? After everything that’s happened, how can you write her off as part of a game?” Lilith asked, looking mortified, disgusted. I never thought she’d look at me that way. I thought she was the one person that never would. Naturally, I got mad in return.

“How can you say otherwise? The game is the game and reality is reality. It’s as simple as that.” I tried to sound condescending and succeeded a little too well. Lilith rolled her eyes at me.

“If only things could be that damn simple with you.”

“They can be.” I stood up from the bed and took a step towards Lilith. She recoiled back away from me and hastily put her shirt back on.

“Look, I think we need to take a step back here. I… I’ll see you later.” Before I had the opportunity to respond to her words, Lilith was out of the door. I sat down on my bed. I looked around my room and saw the discarded blouse where I had left it the previous night. What was wrong with me? What the fuck was I doing?