It is I Billy Eater of Sacred Popcorn. You thought I was done with this story, DIDN'T YOU!!!! Well, I'm not it's just that I was moving to a new home so I didn't have access to my computer also I was a little burnt out but I have been reignited by the fires of new authors, their passion has inspired me to continue faster than I planned. So I will now continue updating this story if anyone still reads it. For all I know nobody is reading this, but it doesn't matter as I will write either way.
[System Notifications] I think most of you know what this is but you never know.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
"Thank you to those who are reading!"-Name of the person speaking. I will not include the name of the person speaking/thinking if they are alone
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In a totally unsuspicious alleyway, our protagonist John was having the time of his life. What is he doing you ask? Well, he is currently beating some random drunk man to death.
This was just a normal day for John if it wasn't for some random nosey business worker who was taking a shortcut to his home.
(P.O.V. John)
I had just killed some random drunk who spilled his bottle of cheap booze on my suit when all of the sudden a loud *cough*girly*cough* scream erupted behind me. I turned around expecting some random lady only to be met with a man who was dialing what I assume is the authorities.
Of course, I am no amateur killer so instead of just standing there looking at this random man I exploded into action, running towards the man who had just told whoever was on the phone his current location. As soon as the man saw me running towards him he took off running, but due to his poor physique, I quickly caught up to him and grabbed his shirt.
It was at this time that the sound of police sirens began to enter my ears so instead of enjoying the kill as I usually do I instead just snapped the man's neck and took off. Looking around the alleyway the only options for escape were a series of items that led to the roof if someone were to climb them.
"Hardcore parkour," I muttered to myself before jumping onto the first obstacle. By the time the police had arrived, I was already on the roof safe and sound.
One would think that after going through all that work to escape you would be safe right? Nope, it just so happened that a man was up there smoking.
Said man was fairly chill and just glanced at me before walking past me to what I assume is his usual smoking spot. Sadly his smoking spot just so happened to be the ledge that I just climbed up from.
So of course I had to kill him before his brain could connect what was going on down there to me. At this point, the man had already looked down lazily and was observing the scene below him.
His face slowly started to turn to an expression of realization and was slowly turning pale. He quickly turned around with the horrifying realization that he didn't remember anyone that looks like me in his complex but was just met with the image of my fist.
With a single punch, I broke his nose and he fell off the building somehow after stumbling back. 'Fuuuuuck.' My thoughts were just random curses as I ran to the other side of the building.
I then heard a lot of yells and what sounded like someone saying call in the choppers. Now that was my cue to run as fast as I could into the building and secure as many hostages as I could before the chopper came.
I may be fast but I'm not fast enough to outrun a helicopter and not to mention my suspicious appearance. My first stop once I was in the building was a random door with flower stickers on it.
The flower stickers either mean that there is a young girl in there which is extra leverage for me or it is a young couple excited for their new or ongoing relationship. I of course knocked to get the attention of anyone who was in there.
A little pitter patter of feet could be heard before a loud thud was heard. With that, I was sure that it was a child on the other side of the door which would make it harder for the authorities to make a rational decision.
"Hello?", A high pitched voice sounded on the other side of the door which confirms my plan. "Hello there I'm a friend of your parents and I have some important news for them so could you please let me in?" I tried to make my voice sound as soft as possible to maximize the effect.
"Daddy said not to let strangers in."
The little girl was taught the basics but I planned for this. "Then could you get your daddy to come over to the door?", it was silent for a moment before the little girl spoke again.
"Daddy is out getting his special juice so I can't get him."
Damn, this complicates things but there is always the mother. "How about your mommy?", once again the little girl was silent before speaking.
"Mommy went with daddy to get the juice."
Dang really? They just left their child to get some alcohol that's messed up. "Well how about this you let me in and we can both wait for your parents to get back with the juice and we can all have a party?"
"Hmmm nope you can wait out there and I can wait in here." I'll give it to her she is a smart kid but that doesn't matter in the face of power, "Ah Ok then I'll have to make a way in myself."
"What?", That was the last thing the little girl said before my hand shot through the door in horror movie fashion and grabbed at the approximate location of where the voice was coming from.
I heard a short scream before my hand grabbed its target. "How about you open the door right now and I promise I'll let you go?", I made my voice even softer this time.
"Y- y -you promise?"
"Yeah I promise, we'll even have a fun party with the police if you unlock the door and let me in."
I could hear some whimpers before a clicking sound resounded in my ears and the door slowly opened. I released the arm from my grip and I walked through the door before closing it and locking it again.
However, I was shocked at the sight I was greeted by. The little girl who I had grabbed had bruises on her face that weren't from me and they looked like a handmark.
My heart grew colder than it already was looking at the handmark, I may brutally murder people but those guys are full grown adults and most of the people I kill are either hopeless drunks or hobos who are a little hostile.
I would never think of killing a child or even hurting them past a quick scare. The little girl cowered a little at my stare and lowered her head.
"Haah, well this isn't what I needed at all a girl who I can't even use."
The little girl flinched at my comment and somehow cowered more than what she was already doing. My conscience and instincts as a human move my hand before I could think of what to do.
The girl slumped further the more my hand moved towards her head. It finally landed on her head before patting it much to mine and the little girl's surprise.
The little girl looked up with a confused expression that hurt my heart, I must be getting soft. I led the little girl to the living room of the apartment which was covered in beer and wine bottles.
On the way there I also saw some more bruises on her body that made me really want to see what her parents were like. After that we just sat on the couch waiting for her parents/ future hostages.
"Mister if we are gonna have a party shouldn't there be cake?"
I looked at the little girl with a confused expression before remembering what I had said.
"Ah yea... yea why don't you go make a cake with whatever you got to pass the time?"
"I don't know how to make a cake though."
"Your mom never teach you?"
The little girl flinched and looked down again which tells me that her mom must also abuse her along with her dad.
"How bout this, we both go and make a cake for the party?"
The little girl's eyes brightened and so we both made our way to the kitchen and started making a cake with the ingredients that her parents surprisingly had.
When we were putting the cake in the oven the door made a clicking sound and her parents stumbled into the living room which was connected to the kitchen with an island separating the two.
"AY BRAT COME HERE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!"
The voice of what I assume to be the father resounds throughout the living room and kitchen.
"Why don't you stay here and keep an eye on the oven while I go talk to your parents?"
The little girl just nodded her head and stayed silent. Her reaction solidifies my resolve to kill her parents.
I walked into the living room and I was met with an image of two people who I would definitely guess were child abusers, the father had a beer belly and was greasy looking and the wife was pretty much a pig except that would even insult a pig in terms of appearance. The father was the first to speak.
"Who the hell are you?"
"It doesn't matter because you are already dead."
"What?!"
After that conversation that I would have laughed at if not for the situation I rushed forward and punched the father in the stomach, he keeled over while I grabbed his head and slammed it to my knee.
With that the father was temporarily taken care of so I turned to the wife who was sweating like a pig. I quickly ran up to her and punched her hard enough that she flew to the floor with a crash.
The father had recovered but it didn't matter as I was already there right in front of him. He went down with a quick punch to the head.
After that, I got on his chest and beat him to death. The same with the mother.
I walked back to the kitchen and finished baking the cake with the little girl who had watched the whole ordeal with a smile on her face. She opened up a lot more to me and we talked while the cake was waiting to be done.
After the cake came out we found some frosting in the pantry that happened to be my favorite, chocolate. We finished frosted the cake by the time the authorities confirmed I was in this apartment.
"I forgot to ask you your name, little girl."
"It's Ester don't forget it, mister!"
"I would never dream of it Ester after all I think you have a lot of potential as a hunter."
"A hunter?"
"Yeah let me tell you about it. I as a hunter go around killing filth and share the story of my kills with fellow hunters at our meeting place."
"That sounds really cool mister how can I be a hunter like you?"
"How about this when you think you are ready go downtown to the Roaring Lion bar and tell them that 'John the Seasoned Hunter ' scouted you and say that I said they should loosen up a bit, that should get you a nice starting position."
"Is John your name mister?"
"Yep make sure not to forget it you little imp!"
Ester giggled while a bunch of sirens were sounding outside.
"THIS IS THE POLICE WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED COME OUT OF THE COMPLEX OR ELSE WE WILL BE FORCED TO OPEN FIRE!"
What the... shouldn't they try to make me come out before they get to tha- ah I see how it is. George you bastard so you betrayed me huh.
George is a fellow hunter who is a rank below me who I had never liked but was friendly with he also had connections so I couldn't off him without getting caught. It seems he used his connections to get me out of the picture.
"Ester this might be the last time we meet so make sure to do well in the Hunter foundation for me will you?"
"Huh, are you going somewhere mister John?"
"Yeah I'm going somewhere for a long time so take care of yourself kid, for my sake."
"Ok mister John but make sure you come back to me ok?"
"Hahaha ok, I promise to come back to you."
"Pinky promise?"
"Pinky Promise."
With that, I walked down the stairs and made my way to the entrance of the complex with Ester right by my side skipping and hopping the whole way talking about how she and I are gonna be the best of friends when she grows up and that she loves me for saving her like a shining knight or something.
By the time we got to the entrance, I kinda got attached to the little imp.
"Damn those onion cutting ninjas making me think that I'm going soft or something..."
"Onion cutting ninjas?"
"It's nothing, make sure to take care of yourself and if you don't want to you don't need to become a hunter."
I pat her head one final time before slowly walking out with my hands up. 'Who would've thought that I would get caught like this huh?'
'Guess I am going soft aren't I?' Those were my thoughts while I was smiling and watching Ester wave at me while I was being escorted to an armored van. 'Damn onion cutting ninjas aren't gonna leave me alone huh.'
I lowered my head after smiling at Ester.
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DAMN ONION CUTTING NINJAS. Anyway that's the chapter. For you guys who are reading still after this long, THANKS FOR THE FAITH. And I need something to call you guys like hmm THE POPCORN EATERS orrr PASS THE BOWL MY FRIENDS THERE IS ENOUGH SACRED POPCORN FOR EVERYONE. You guys can figure that one out or I will in the next chapter who knows? Thanks for reading!
Nobody can claim first comment because I have claimed it MWHAHAHAHAHA I’m so very evil aren’t I?
where next chapter?
@PanzerKampfWagen Oh I didn't even know people still read this story after I stopped updating for I don't even know how f*cking long. I mean I'll start working on one once I've confirmed what direction I want this thing to go in, so probably in the next week or so? Yea probably. Maybe.
@BillyEaterofPopcorn WHAT!??! I THOUGHT YOU WHERE DEAD?!? THIS THE SECOND TIME I READ THIS SERIES WHAT?!? YOUR ALIVE?!?! GOD BLESS ME! OML YOUR ALIVE! YES PLEASE I WOULD LIKE THAT BUT YOUR ALIVE!!!
@PanzerKampfWagen Indeed I am alive, though I have lost a quarter of my original drive when I read back and realized I strayed from my original pathing due to what I thought at the time was a good idea so a rewrite might just be in order. Anyway besides that I'm surprised you are that happy I am still active, thanks.
@BillyEaterofPopcorn I like how it is going but if you are open for ideas... Have you ever heard of the Tiger? Used in WW2, it was a being of fear, Tigers were just like a real tiger, they were heavy, tough, and strong, they also stalk and hunt their prey. Although they were outdated... also it was a heavy tank.
@PanzerKampfWagen I cannot say I have heard of such a magnificent creation, I'm curious as to why you brought it up but I kind of fear the answer I might receive. I originally planned to have him be a behemoth of a tiger but a comment from a viewer made me consider the merits of being fast. I thought it was a good idea at the time but now I realize he is supposed to be someone who has played little games so from the point of view from someone like that getting more health and becoming tankier to survive such things would be their first thoughts.
@BillyEaterofPopcorn thats exactly what the Tiger H1/E is, its heavy, its tough, and its strong. The doesn't have to be a Tiger tank, but could transform into one, like his humanoid ability. I mean who doesn't like Tiger turning into tanks?
@PanzerKampfWagen I can say without regret that I would enjoy to see that but it might be a bit of a stretch to include that in a story such as this
@BillyEaterofPopcorn I mean, you can just have some god who loves WW2 for some reason grant the MC the skill, since he loves WW2 from earth...
@PanzerKampfWagen I'll start working on a spin-off with that idea after making a few chapters for this. It honestly seems amazingly funny.
@BillyEaterofPopcorn AND BADASS!! you should do some research on the tiger. maybe a youtube video or two, then look up its stats on Wikipedia or the war thunder wiki.
@BillyEaterofPopcorn I wanted to make a novel with this idea, but instead i made an alt account and made a novel about a sentient warship from ww2 in a fantasy world...
@PanzerKampfWagen Huh funny enough I swear I've read something like that, I don't remember how far I read into it but it was pretty damn funny if I remember correctly. I dunno there are like 5 or 6 sentient ship fics I've read but if it was yours then good job it was a nice laugh.
@BillyEaterofPopcorn I think I read that too, I disliked how is was the same person but threw the same scenario but as a different ship... and they were ship girls...
@PanzerKampfWagen It was certainly odd, an interesting concept but the execution could have been a bit better with the protagonists. Enjoyable nonetheless though.