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??? POV

'What should I do?'

'. . .about what?'

'I think I'm not normal.'

'Why do you think so?'

'I. . .I want to have a friend, but at the same time, I don't. I wonder why that is?'

'That's. . .because you're afraid.'

'Afraid of what?'

'Afraid of being hurt again.'

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"Contradict. . .myself? What do you mean?"

"You were slowly changing back and forth between approaching people and distancing yourself from them."

"But why?"

"Because I am here. As I said, you wanted to have companions to the point where you would create another persona, the outgoing one who's sociable and reliable."

". . ."

"Do you realize how tiring it is? Being someone I'm not. It was mentally straining."

"I mean. . .I don't know how to feel about that, but sorry. I guess."

". . .I apologize as well. I was riled up."

'I had no idea that kind of thing happened. But, I wonder why? I can't remember anything.'

"Shall we continue?"

"Ah, yes."

〚 After that, the girl kept on that facade till the end of her high school year. Just when she thought she could be free to start over in college━〛

〚 Nothing changed.〛

〚 Till the very end.〛

〚 The end.〛

After that story, there was something that I wanted to ask, but I had a really bad feeling so I kept it on myself.

'What happened after that? Did I somehow change during my adulthood? Or perhaps━?'

I was afraid of what the answer would be.

After that day, things became quite comfortable between us. Nothing much happened, but I could say that our relationship was getting really well.

There were times when she initiated the conversation by herself, and even that much is already a great feat if I say so myself.

But still, there seems to be something that is keeping our distance from each other, something that she doesn't want to tell me.

I decided to keep it to myself, I can't pry too much, not yet.

'If I make the wrong move, I feel like something bad will happen.'

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Another day for another story. I have grown accustomed to this time of the day where she would tell me stories of when we were in the real world.

Somehow, my memories won't come back. I don't know why. It left me with a feeling of uneasiness.

"Today's story will be about our family or at least what we thought of like our family."

"It seems like I didn't get along well with my family either, huh?"

". . .Indeed."

〚 A few years ago, a girl was born from a couple. A single child who was expected to achieve great things.〛

〚 Her parents gave her tons of books at a young age. Encyclopedias, dictionaries, medical books, and biographies.〛

〚 They wanted her to become a doctor. To achieve that, her parents kept her inside the house. You could even say she was hidden.〛

〚 While other children were playing outside, she was in her room, studying. One time, she was allowed to go play outside, she tripped and got injured.〛

〚 The strict parents became stricter. She was no longer allowed to go out. Not long after, her father decided to work overseas. It was only her and her mother.〛

〚 She continued to study well, not going over or under. She didn't aim for a perfect score. However━〛

〚 Her mother introduced Leonard, one of the girl's distant relatives. He was an achiever. He got plenty of awards and medals. He was a genius, the very meaning of it. He could get a 100 even if he didn't study.〛

〚 The girl's parents often compared her to other children. Why can't you be more like that? Why can't you get more awards? Why don't you work hard and study?〛

〚 It was always like that.〛

"Why compare her to others?! That's just not fair! She has her own features, so why compare?"

". . .That's just how they are."

〚 Her parents always had high expectations of her. Saying things like 'You should grow up and earn money, so we can live happily.'〛

〚 It was a lot of pressure. But, they didn't care. They didn't know how burdened she was. To make things worse━〛

〚 Mother found out that our father was cheating on her. Mother confronted him about it, but our father would always get angry and threaten to leave or kill our mother.〛

〚 The girl was still young, yet already she witnessed her parents arguing, and yelling at each other.〛

〚 To top of it all, she realized that she didn't want to be a doctor. She wanted to be an artist, the one who draw and paint stuff. She always had an eye for beauty.〛

〚 Knowing that her parents will never agree, she planned to say it right after high school. When they found out, as expected, they were angry. To an extent that they beat her up. But what was really unforgettable was what they said━〛

〚 You good for nothing child!! You should've never been born!〛

〚 Unlike the ones I've read in some novels, it was quite less of a shock than I thought. Maybe because I expected it to happen and prepared for it. It's just━〛

〚 I couldn't move for a while. Before I knew it, I was━〛

"I was?"

". . ."

She stopped again, indicating something shouldn't be told. She does this from time to time. It must be something that I can't hear yet.

〚 Parents, whether you believe it or not, there are parents like these in real life. Some are even worse.〛

〚 They are supposed to guide you and care for you. But they are━〛

〚 Parents, my ass. They are no parents.〛

〚 Inside or outside, I'm still alone.〛

〚 No friends, no siblings, no reliable relatives, and this couple who call themselves my parents.〛

〚 What is this? What have I done wrong in my life, I wonder? All I wanted was a peaceful life. A happy family, a friend, and a life companion.〛

〚 What a cursed life.〛

〚 I'm so tired. I'm just━〛

〚 In the midst of breaking down, she couldn't help but cry. Without making a sound, she wept. She didn't know what to do with her life.〛

〚 Sleep. Just sleep and have a nice dream tonight.〛

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"I could only hope for you to have a nice dream tonight."

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