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??? POV

'. . . . .'

'You're quiet today. What happened?'

'. . .She said I was boring.'

'. . .Is that so?'

'She said she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore.'

'Let her be then.'

'. . . . .'

'Don't worry, it's easy.'

'I. . .can't hate her.'

'You don't need to hate her.'

'Then what should I do?'

'It's simple. Erase her.'

•__________________________________________________________•

". . . . ."

Hearing all of these stories, I can't say that I don't understand why she chose to be alone. But, I wonder why━

"I do feel sympathy for her, or rather, myself. I know it's a bad thing, but I can't feel anything. I can't feel any sadness or hatred at all."

". . . . ."

"Do you know why?"

". . .It's understandable."

"Why do you think so?"

". . .Because you don't have your memories. Even if you hear all of these, if you're not actually in that scene, the feelings that you felt at that moment won't be as strong as it was back then."

". . .Is it like that?"

I was convinced that it was indeed because of that. I kept on questioning myself as to why my memories won't return.

"Besides. . .you haven't met that one yet."

"Who?"

It seems that there's something else that requires me to feel, and it has something to do with the person that she's talking about.

"Until you meet her, you won't feel anything. That's not my job after all."

"Job? What do you mean?"

". . .My job is to close off doors, build walls, and prevent anyone from coming near me. A defense mechanism, you might say."

It may be weird to say it like this, but I could tell. It is indeed a defense mechanism. Something that the brain does when it's hurt.

"Now we're in that topic, there is one time the walls I've created broke down, I opened it myself. Only once though. I regret doing that."

She mockingly smiled. It was a rare sight. Seems like she couldn't forget it, no matter what.

'Only once, huh? I must've trusted this person, so much that I opened the doors myself.'

"She was my first friend. A real one. At least, that's what I thought."

"Did she. . .betray us?"

"!!"

She couldn't hide the surprised look on her face. It seems I've guessed right.

". . .That's right. For the very first time, I thought I found someone. A person who would stay with me, no matter what."

". . .What was she like?"

"Very persistent. She approached me herself. She kept hanging out with me. When I skipped classes, whenever I hid in the bathroom when I feigned illness in the infirmary.

She was a very charming girl.

Opposite to me.

Haha. . .Later did I find out that she was just playing the long game of trust."

Her voice suddenly went cold. She had an indifferent expression on her face. It must've been tough.

"Turns out she was. . .just using us. She took advantage of us, and once we served no use for her, she casually just threw us away. Haha. . .like trash."

". . .But how? You, of all people? I know you can tell when people lie to you. There's no way she could actually deceive you."

". . .You're right. We've been 'friends' for 6 or more years. After a month or two of friendship, I already knew she was after something else."

"Then. . .how? Why didn't you break your relationship with her?"

I was starting to get frustrated. She isn't the type who gets deceived by other people. She is too smart for that.

". . .It wasn't me who didn't want to break that relationship."

"Huh?"

"It was you. . .who rejected the idea of letting go."

"Me? But, why?"

"I told you, right? My job is to be the wall. As soon as I sense the impending danger, I build up the walls. But you, you kept it open.

And the result is this━

She faced you, and broke the thread herself, leaving you behind.

But thanks to that, the doors and walls have been fortified, and it became a thick metal wall."

I was astounded, how could I do that? I knew she was deceiving me, yet I still kept the door open? How foolish is that?

"Did you know? I have another defense mechanism?"

She just asked a question, and yet I felt chills in my back.

"It's called the door slam."

"Door slam?"

"Right. But what it actually means is that you door slam a person who has dealt an exceptional amount of pain. Whenever you feel like you've had it with this person, you door slam him/her, and then you'll feel nothing."

"Hm?"

"In short, they're nothing to you anymore. Their existence will be nothing to you. I did it to that 'friend'."

"She becomes 'nothing'? But, you forgave her. . .right?"

"Well, not long after that, she did apologize, and I forgave her. But━"

"But?"

"She is nothing to me now. I accept her apology, but I'll never forget. I have drawn the line. She will never be anything to me."

'Uwah. That's kinda━'

"You think it's evil?"

"Eh? No, but I do think it's harsh. For a kind person like you to do that is rather unexpected."

"It is. But in the end, it depends on the person I'm with, whether I'll be a saint or a demon. I can be either."

•__________________________________________________________•

"I have no room of sympathy to a person who's thrown me away. It's a waste."

As she said that, she looked like she was saying━

'You'll regret throwing me away like that.'

But revenge was different. It wasn't physical harassment, bullying, not even a word of resentment.

She rejected that person's existence and treated her like she's nothing.

This surely is the best form of revenge.

Not hate. But━

'Indifference.'

•__________________________________________________________•

SilentW

Merry Christmas to you guys. Thank you for reading. May you be blessed with a good Christmas and a Happy New Year. :)))