I'm so tired.

Everytime I see my family I feel a burn in my chest full of resentment. But it isn't as strong as before I killed them.

When I think about taking revenge in this life, I feel really tired. It's true that I killed them in the end but I also lost so many things.

I don't think I regret taking my revenge but if someone asks me if I want to do it again...

The answer would be no.

I will never forgive or forget those things though. I will never care for them again and thinking of them as an actual 'family' is out of the question.

For now, I guess I need to get away from them.

I need money for that.

I got down from my bed and walked to my dressing table.

I caressed all the pretty gemstones and hair pins I had and then stuffed them inside a pillow cover. I only took as much as I could without their absence getting noticed.

I hid the stuffed pillowcase under my bed.

Until I find a proper hiding place, this will have to do.

I heard footsteps outside my door and I quickly jumped into my bed.

"Sissy!!" A small body ran to me giggling.

Agnes. My younger sister. She was only three now.

"Agnes." I said. "Why are you here?"

"Let's play!" She grinned.

"I don't want to." I refused.

Perhaps if this were before she plotted my death I would've agreed.

She pouted and her eyes became watery.

"Wahhhh...!!" She started crying.

I just sighed and waited for the maids to come and take her away.

This may seem cruel but I'm just so tired. Looking at her face reminds me of all the things she did in my previous life and I can't bring myself to behave normally around her.

Even if she's only three. Even if she's not done anything yet.

I think my soul might still be dead. 

Even if I didn't manage to kill myself physically I think I killed most of my emotions.