Part 3

“Actions depend on the situation they are taken in, while emotions depend on the entity they are directed at.”

-Shiroyama Seniichi, The AoF storyteller

 

[7^th of December, 1997; 7:34 hrs]

[Private Orphanage “Children’s Hope”, Taketomi, Okinawa Prefecture]

“Sis! Hey, where are you? Sis ~ ……..Oi…“, a teenager’s voice echoes from the far end of the corridor. It belongs to my little brother, Shishio.

“I am here, in the backyard…….”

Our orphanage, named “Children’s Hope”, is a private organization located in the heart of the village of Taketomi. Still serving as a non-profit NGO, it takes in orphans who have nowhere to go. Of course, we, the staff here, which includes me, my brother Shishio and our maid, Marika-san, serve as the guardians of all these kids- currently eight in number, four boys and girls each. We make sure they get proper exposure to their childhood so that they face their adulthood with pride. We take care of their education, housing, nutrition and overall personality development. Out of the eight kids, six are from Taketomi, one from Hokkaido and one from Nara. I found the last two kids at a government funded child community center, where I adopted them formally, as well as informally. Other six kids were born here in the village, and due to unfortunate accidents, lost their parents, after which, the village authorities, upon the request of my mother, Kogasaki Tamako, handed over the responsibilities of the kids to the orphanage. Unfortunate enough, my mother passed away almost two years back due to pancreatic cancer, an incurable and deadly condition. It was just an year after my father rode to the heavens, owing to an accident.

From that day, I, Kogasaki Shiori, left my college and devoted myself as the warden and in-charge of the orphanage. Ah, it is not like I was forced into leaving my studies by our condition. I did it on my own accord. Don’t they say- “Any information which leads to the common benefit of all, is called education. If the information leads to your benefit solely, it is just knowledge. ” So it is fine. My actions were important for these kids, as well as my family, so I think that skipping college midway was fine. Moreover, let me tell you this – I am a fan of my parents. The ones who set up this beautiful place. The ones who set up the lives of abandoned and left-out children. Today, when the adults, who were once children belonging to this place, come and greet us, it feels as if I go and  shout out to the angels in heaven – “Hey! Can you see this person, God in heaven?! Will you take a look at them?! They are the kids that my mom and dad created. Look how magnificent their souls are! Look at their actions, praise their understanding and bless their virtues! For they have become fine creatures, getting finer and finer, as the clock ticks.”

 

Pfft…… just kidding. But I also want to walk on the same steps and create humans out of these kids, the same way as them. And then, wait for that blessed day when their adult forms come to see me. Wouldn’t that be the best feeling ever? Though I would be an old person by then. Probably.

“Sis! Again? Aren’t you always sitting in the backyard?”

My brother, came from the corridor, standing behind me, as I was staring at the bonsai collection maintained by Marika-san. It is her hobby, or you can say, a pleasure. I remember her being so engrossed in those bonsai trees that once she guarded them whole night in the winter when there was a threat of cats coming inside the garden in search of a place to sleep. Seriously, I get they look cute, but I do not find them interesting enough to spend sleepless nights with just them on my mind.

Anyway, as I turned back to answer Shishio, I find that he has already taken a bath. Water is dripping from his hair, a few drops wetting his sweatshirt. Whoa! Black coloured sweatshirt and a white trouser. Seriously, my brother loves contrast on an extreme level. His lower half attire is the exact opposite of his upper half one. Shishio is in his second year of high school, in a private school in Taketomi itself. Though he is a high school student, this brat cannot even wake up by himself in the morning on school days. Though he always wakes up early on leave days. Is it that band practice again? I think piano would have suited his personality much better, compared to those huge guitars. 

“The bonsai plants are fun to watch, you know.”

“Are you an old lady?”

“Wanna get your ass whooped?” Seriously, these high schoolers have no mercy, right? I am just a young and beautiful, and charming and talented, and kind and careful, 24-year old maiden. How dare a little brat like you call me old. Kids seriously cannot understand adult charm.

“Kyaa! Perv….”

“Shut up. What do you want?”

“There is a phone call. Some person named Kadenokoji Tatsuya-san called and wants to talk to you.”

“Whoa, really???!!!!”

Kyaa! What a surprise! Tatsuya, after so long! Seriously, this guy…..just because you got married does not mean that you forget about your middle-school friends. Did we not attend the same middle school in Okinawa? And I heard that he married the person he dated in high school! So dreamy situations like that happen in reality? And you did not even introduce me to your wife. So irresponsible. I am gonna complain today.

As I move through the long corridor to pick up the phone without disturbing the kids, who are still in dreamlands, today being a Sunday after all, I can only think of my long lost friend, whom I have not talked in ages.

Now that I think about it, Tatsuya was a rather intriguing kid back then. He was always silent, never the type to initiate conversation. Such people, unfortunately, end up being usually ostracized. But Tatsuya was a different case. Everyone was always eager to hold a conversation with him. The biggest reason was his way of talking. Seriously, I doubt that any middle school kid can talk such heavy words as him. It was almost scary in certain situations. I still remember the day when a stray cat entered the cage and killed our school rabbit. Every student was gathered around the rabbit’s corpse, some even crying at its condition. Apparently, the student in-charge of the cage that day had left the cage door open. The in-charge that day was Tatsuya. When everyone, filled with rage and contempt, surrounded Tatsuya and asked him the reason, they were frozen on hearing his out of the ordinary justification. He said, ”You all used to feed that rabbit, right? Everyday, every single day, without skips. Well, the cat also has the right to be fed.”

“Hello-Hello?”

“Shiori!! Wassup? How have you been??”

“Tatsuya, why, aren’t you an irresponsible one? Seriously, you did not even give me a single call since mom passed away. How cruel!!! And here I thought we were buds!”

“For that I apologize. Honestly telling, I have not been able to cope up with my life itself. All I do is work, eat and sleep. And then repeat. It is Hell, you know, Hell! Also, what is up with Shishio? How come he did not recognize me? Seriously, he was like-‘Who the heck are you?’ when I called.”

“What do you expect? He was really tense during mom’s funeral, crying and crying. In that state, we cannot really blame him for not interacting with you properly.”

“But didn’t I visit you when we were at school? Even though I agree he was a kid back then, but still he should at least remember my face, right? Treating me as a complete stranger kinda hurts ~ ”

“Maybe it is because of your personality, which has like, zero presence?”

“You wanna get slapped?”

“……”

“Anyways, I called you today to discuss a certain matter. Before that, tell me, are you still handling the orphanage?”

“Hmm.”

“Good. What if I say, I have a potential candidate to your orphanage?”

“Huh? You mean, an abandoned kid?”

“NOT ABANDONED!!!!! NOBODY IS ABANDONING ANYONE!!!!!!!”

“Huh?? T-Tatsuya??! What happened?! Why did you suddenly raise the voice??!!”

“N-Nothing. Anyways…..the kid belongs to one of my distant relatives here in Karuizawa. We went to visit them for a few days. On one of those days, on a black one, they went out to some work related business. You see, they run a cloth shop in Karuizawa. On the way back, they met with a terrible collision with a truck. Their car was devastated, leaving their bodies splattered around the road, truly, a tragic death!!”

“T-Tatsuya, calm down…..don’t cry, okay? Were you always this soft? Though I have to agree, their tragic fate brings wetness to eyes.”

“Same here. But it is not just them. When the soil itself rots away, the saplings within are also destroyed.”

“The kid, huh?”

I can imagine the graveness of the situation in Tatsuya’s words. The kid lost its parents, both of them. The supports that it had are no longer present. God is truly cruel sometimes, right? That said, I can somewhat get Tatsuya and his wife’s condition too. Haruka is already their responsibility, and unfortunately, they are economically weaker. I remember giving him the offer to come to Taketomi and help out in the orphanage and our fields. But this person, isn’t he just so stubborn?

“Yeah…I cannot even begin to think what difficulties in life await the poor child. It is so tragic that it breaks my heart to pieces. And still, here I am, with no option other than to rely on you, as you have a fair idea about our – “

“I know. You don’t have to say it. I understand. Also, friends are there to rely on. Only morons choose their lovers over friends….”

“That line was unnecessary right now.”

“I know. Just trying to cheer my dear friend up.”

“Shiori…..”

“Hmm?”

“You are so nice, it almost seems imaginary…”

“Ohoho, was that SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT?”

“Oh, you got pissed…..sorry.”

“COME ON, TATSUYA-SAN ~ WHY DO YOU THINK I AM PISSED? I AM NOT PISSED AT ALL ~ ”

“ ‘Tatsuya-san’??? I am sorry for angering you…….”

“Anyways, let me ask a few questions…..is the kid a girl or a boy?”

“A boy.”

“Oh! How many years old?”

“……nth…”

“Hmm?? What did you say? I did not hear properly.”

“A little more than a month……”

“Oh….a little more than an year, all right.”

“A little more than a month, I said.”

HMM??

WAIT. What? Are my ears finally dead? I think it is because of those earplugs with loud music….

“Tatsuya, am I hearing things?”

“No. I am saying things.”

“HUH??!! YOU MEAN THE KID IS A MONTH OLD?????? A FUCKING MONTH?????? A MONTH OLD BOY???????? W-W-W-W-WAIT A MINUTE, JUST…..JUST LET ME PROCESS MYSELF…..”

A month old baby? Like, for real?? The youngest kid in the orphanage is Kazuya-kun, and he is also turning three in February. But, seriously? A month old baby?? Well, I am already crying, huh? For a month old innocent to loose his parents, what a heartbreaking tragedy!

“I will take him in.”

“Wha – really?? ”

“Yes.”

“Shiori…Shiori…..I don’t know how will I be able to thank you…..I do not understand. This is just – “

“You sure have changed, Tatsuya.”

“Huh?”

“Looking at the past you, I would never have thought that you would become this kind a person……you looked, how do I say it…..a bit unfeeling type….”

“…….”

“…….”

“……”

“Hmm, Tatsuya??”

Is it a network issue? But I can hear his breathing. It has grown rather heavy, right? Or is it just my imagination? It feels, as if he got suddenly incapable of answering. I wonder……Oh! Could it be, could it be that he is ACTUALLY EMBARASSED THAT I CALLED HIM KIND? Pfft…..always fun to tease, this guy….

“A-anyways, I will come in two to three days. Possibly, on the 9^th or 10^th .”

“Okay, I will be waiting. And also – “

“What?”

“This time, make sure to bring Hitomi-san and Haruka too. At least let me introduce myself to them!”

“Y-yeah. Sure I will. All right then. Bye.”

“Bye bye, love you….the friendly kind….”

Dooot…. Dooot……

Damn, he cut off without hesitation. Cannot even take a little teasing, that Tatsuya.

“Sis……”

“Yeah……”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. Just thinking that how wrong I was….”

“Huh? In what?”

“I thought Tatsuya had changed from a feeling less person to a sensitive and humane one. But it seems like he is the same as before.”

“D-did you guys have a fight?”

“No-no…he is just so uncute, you know! Let us go wake up the kids, it has gotten rather late now.”

Yeah,I get a feeling that TATSUYA HAS NOT CAHNGED AT ALL, IF ANYTHING, HE MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY GOTTEN WORSE THAN IN THE PAST.

                                                                    *********

[ “So what do you think about your father, Shiroyama-san?

“He is a wonderful person.”

“And what do you think about your mother?”

“She is a wonderful person.”

“So you think them as wonderful……haha….well, IT IS YOU AFTER ALL……YEAH…….IT IS YOU AFTER ALL……”

“What do you mean, XX-san? I apologize for my rudeness, that I am asking you a question while you sit near my head on this RED ground, but I was unable to comprehend.”

“I think most people would bear an emotion of repulsion or hatred towards parents like yours, Shiroyama-san.”

“I have answered this before. I will answer this again. Hatred is an  emotion of those who live, those who possess the blessed entity called life. It is not meant for corpses. Even if I try to skip out on that condition and hypothetically claim myself as a living creature, it still does not justify hatred. Also , hatred is not a negative emotion.”

“How can you say that? Are we not always taught that love is a positive emotion, hatred being a negative one.”

“Haha……A snake’s poison can take lives and it can save them too. Do you agree with this statement, XX-san?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Very well. Now I pray your answer – Is the poison of that snake a dangerous thing?”

“Doesn’t that depend on the situation?”

“Wonderfully answered! Now, please excuse me – Is that snake actually an entity to be despised?”

“W-well, I think that also depends on the situation.”

“Again, wonderfully answered! Now, I apologize to ask so many questions. Now let me spell out my advice on your question before. ACTIONS DEPEND ON THE SITUATIONS THEY ARE TAKEN IN, AND EMOTIONS DEPEND ON THE ENTITY THEY ARE DIRECTED AT. Does this answer a part of your question?”

“It does. A more beautiful answer might not exist.”

“Then allow me to answer the other part. Hatred towards an offender is a negative emotion, the way to make it positive is to direct it towards the INTENT OF OFFENCE. Hating my dear REAL parents would have been a counterproductive action. They are wonderful people, even deserving praise. You will know more about them about them later, so you can be assured. What the HYPOTHETICAL human “me” was supposed to do was to target my hatred towards the instability that overtook my REAL parents, towards the uneasiness that tied their consciousness, towards the feeling of fear that asphyxiated their insides. Does that help, XX-san? ”

“Magnificent……how magni-f-shh--e--n--d”

“XX-san? Please do not shed tears. Do not waste these beautiful emotions on a rotting undead.”

“Please do not say that! Please do not…..Your REAL parents are indeed wonderful…….THEY PRODUCED YOU AFTER ALL.”]

                                                                    *********

Chapter 1, Part 3 extra(A): Kadenokoji Tatsuya’s monologue

I am not to be blamed. It is God who played with me. The situation I find myself struck in today, is definitely not my fault. The blame lies with my luck. I took upon sufferings, I took upon stress, I took upon malice, I took upon contempt, I took upon uneasiness…….but I will not take upon the blame. Blame is the vector that leads to the cancer called guilt. No, wait! Saying that blame leads to guilt means that I am acknowledging the balme!! Damn!!

Calm down, me. The decision I took was in favor of my family, my current family. That boy, was never a part of our family. Our family is just three people, yeah…just three people. And in the future, we will be blessed with a cute girl, which will improve our standing and put all of us out of our misery. Yeah, both Haruka and her will become our saviors, and will bless us with what we deserve.

There is nothing wrong to think of it this way. That boy was just unfortunate enough to be born. And God above was just idiotic enough to send him to us. He might suffer or cry, but the blame would lie with his own self, with his own misfortune, that let him come down to earth at such a wrong time. And why should I care about outsiders?

Its not like he belongs to my family or anything.

                                                                    *********