This feeling, it is like pain, yet it doesn't bite just feels odd, no negativity. No feeling of danger and the feeling left behind is nothing but numbness, already my arms and legs feel nothing. I can feel it spreading a sort of coldness as all the pain I felt before fades. My breath ragged but still there and then even that I can no longer feel. I always thought my mind was like a semi sphere. Reaching out as far as it can, never able to even imagine the edge. Now it feels different, instead of my body being below it feels like it is becoming a sphere. Emptiness, coldness, numbness. These feels should make me feel fear as my death is likely happening and yet the feeling of nothing but a sphere that I try and seek the edges, from the centre nothing around that shows signs of the end. Just like that my life has ended. However with the technology of the world this isn't the end but rather just the stopping of my body and the conversion of my mind into something else. Somewhere people likely never dreamed of going. A virtual world that will soon be my new home, my brain is converted to a crystallised mass by a device installed moments after my birth. It is odd that such a device we have our whole lives only actives on our death. When all hope is lost it starts and makes us different, to be installed as some hardware into a massive computer network. I can almost imagine the sounds of sirens that must be there around my mangled body. I was going home on my motorbike and something appeared out of the corner of my eye and then it goes blank, to that odd feeling. I guess it is the trauma of my death that leaves that gap. It feels odd to be in this state, the feeling of no feeling like I have ever know. I can't feel my body just this empty sphere which I reach out in all directions for anything and grab nothing. I never thought I would miss feelings like pain but when you have nothing, you dream of just having something. Already I have no idea how much time has passed since that happened. I guess when you're being kept alive as a crystal brain soon to be connected to a massive computer network it is about making it use as little energy as possible so you might be kept away from death for as long as possible. At least till you can be recovered. As if sensing my desire for recovery the darkness becomes an almost blinding light yet I have no eye lids to close and no eyes to protect. A sun is above me, I feel like I am on my back, such a feeling I missed in a short time, to be without is a sort of torture. My body feels heavy however I am already aware that it isn't my body just a digital reconstruction. At this point I don't care, I am just happy to be able to feel as if I have a body. Here is the start of my new life, in a world I never really entered, I wonder what awaits me as I try to find the strength to move but for now I have to just lie here. Moving such a heavy body is just impossible...

I often find myself looking back on that day, that moment when one life ended and another began. So much changed and hard to think clearly. Even if this is a digital world I still find the need to rest. I still dream except it tends to be about those moments, reliving it at least a few nights a week. Checking the time I find it is still early, a little after seven. I look around still on my back at the room I call my own. It is fairly plain yet the simplicity is nice. Some people have extra-ordinary rooms where it seems even physics has gone wrong when looking at the walls. However I find that the simplicity comforts me, it helps to remind me that I can still be normal in an abnormal world. I still haven't found my place in this world, it has been months and yet I am still drifting. I envy my sister, while she is a little older with responsibilities, she at least isn't stuck here. A busy boring life, almost constantly I wished for a world of magic where anything was possible and now I am here I have the urge to return to the world I left behind. I was just a simple shop assistant, doing what is needed for a few hours here and there, yet for some reason, no matter how boring it was, no matter how much I wished for something else, I wish to return to it. There isn't a need for that sort of life here, currently I am just living in a section that is generally sort of like a relaxation area. I consider it to be more of a hotel where you don't have to worry about things. I need to find my place here it seems, maybe one of the other worlds would be better. Worlds that could be considered nothing but games, worlds that you can be someone important or someone that is just another cog in a machine and sometimes worlds where you can be almost a god, with a section to call your own, make how what you want and how you want. None of that really appeals to me at the moment, not till I find a purpose.

I finally move out of bed after a fair bit of time thinking, I pick up some clothes that are on the dresser putting them on carefully like I was in the real world, not just using the commands to have them just appear on my body. I like the normality it makes me feel like I am living in the real world, naturally it never lasts long, after all I have a user interface that shows me information. I turned it off before but notifications still appear and it was harder to switch between my fake reality and what is actually my current reality. This way might be uncomfortable, abnormal, alien even but at least it is more constant.

Breakfast. I eat just a piece of toast, completely plain. My sister always found it was odd that I would have nothing on my toast, I guess I was boring in many ways. I like just being able to continue my old habits, I don't desire changes to that life but if I am going to have to find my place here I need to change, like I did that night when my world died.

With a quick flick of my wrist so my palm faces my face I call forth the menu. I look at the news and with a few buttons a newspaper appears on the table where moments ago my toast was. I never liked newspapers but compared to text just being in front of you I find it easier to read. I glance around, nothing catches my eyes really, no big headlines, nothing new and interesting, nothing that makes me wish to read. So I just get up and leave, the table quickly returns to the plain state it had before I sat down and I walk around, out of the café and into the streets. Just walking takes me back to my school days. I would often just walk around aimlessly in my free time, just getting use to my surroundings and enjoying the outdoors. I guess it just helped me to relax but here it feels odd, nothing really feels the same I guess technology just isn't up to the challenge of making it feel like the real world. Hours easily past just aimlessly wandering, nothing I feel like doing. It isn't odd for people to have this kind of mood when arriving here, it is a big change and adapting can be hard. While I have been here a few months I have heard this can last years even. I just need something that feels like my calling, I tried writing, drawing and many other hobbies but it just felt dull when you can just make art appear with a flick of the wrist or you can make yourself learn a skill in a shorter time than you could in the real world. Where is the fun without the challenge, I never had a talent for music but I still put some effort into it while at school, now it feels pointless to try it.

I arrive back at my room, a day almost completely wasted doing nothing but feeling down and walking aimlessly. An icon pops up and I approve access to my room. My sister has logged into the world to visit, her hair flowing gently as she hugs me. She knows how I feel and makes an effort to visit everyday after work, I wish I could join her in that world but at least we can still talk. She was always interested in technology and started visiting this virtual world since she was 13. It can be an amazing games hub and a place to visit the dead. She seems so much more natural here. I can't help but feel more like I am out of place when I see her using the system to have a drink appear or checking other status changes in the interface. After a brief visit she gets a call from someone on the other side using her interface and says her farewells, promising to visit soon and then I am all alone again. I don't feel like eating so I just go to bed, wondering if anything will change tomorrow. This pattern is nothing new, it happens almost everyday. Sometimes I follow a normal pattern of eating, sometimes I just spend most of the day in my room, however always staying still, never moving forwards.

Days, weeks, it just blurs together I sometimes wonder if it would have better to just have died fully, never to come here, just cease to be. I never believed in an after life before, I guess this is what this place could be called. The internet has come a long way since virtual reality came about and then the creation of the Crystalisic to make us have a virtual life after death. I wonder what it would have been like to live before such inventions. Knowing that when your time comes, that is it, your story ends. I envy that a bit, however I should feel grateful that I can still exist, most days however I don't, death does that to you it seems.

So life continues, same dull existence however one day something in the news catches my eye, White Obelisk a game of the virtual world is nearing its 200 year anniversary. A game that I have never played, it is mainly for people who are permanent residence of this world but some from the real world enjoy it but time for them is much more limited. I know my sister plays it but games never really appealed to me, I was more into books, drawing and such in my free time. However for some reason the rest of my day it sticks in my mind and even in my dreams that night. The idea of being in a large group of people trying to win a game that after almost 200 years no one has managed to win. After such a dream I decided to apply to play as soon as I got up. A few moments after entering some basic data I am transported to a blank room with a screen on a podium. It asks me basic things like what name do I want to use, do I want to modify my appearance and such. After a bit of fiddling I am transported again this time, I am on my back in what seems like a grassy field. I have a small bag strapped around my shoulder, light yet simple clothes and what seems to be a small knife in a sheath on a belt. Getting up I look around. It seems beautiful, just a field going on as far as I can see.

“Welcome to White Obelisk, please get use to the game here in the tutorial fields before confirming you are ready to enter fully,” a voice announces in my head. I never get use to system messages, it is like a voice in your head talking that isn't your voice, just odd really. I look at my clothes, a sort of light green outfit, no frills just a t-shirt and shorts, with small black boots. Light and easier to move in I guess. I take out the knife to see it is little more than a kitchen knife, plain but sharp looking. As if to test it I put my finger on the blade only to find it cuts. No blood just a small red line where it was and the sort of bite of numbness I felt when I died but not really that sharp compared to that time. I open the window up and take a look, combat grabs my attention and I load up that tutorial to find a dark brown boar appear in front of me. It looks so realistic, the smell the way it moves while looking over me, then without warning it charges towards me. I panic forgetting that it is just a bit of data that can't really harm me and turn and run. It closes the gap rapidly and I make a leap to the side just in time to dodge. It turns and I quickly grab the knife raising it defensively trying to think of how best to defend myself. I have no real idea how to go about this and I swing wildly when it charges again, I hit its side but it was little more than a cut, the same redness that appeared on my finger earlier. However it struck my leg which has a large mark on it and an uneasy feeling. I look around to notice the world seems to have stopped.

“Welcome to the combat tutorial,” the voice in my head sounds, “You have been struck and taken damage, in White Obelisk your health is limited as seen here,” A glow appears in the upper left corner and a health bar appears. It is mostly full so I guess the boar didn't injury me too much. Then another window appears with a bunch of options.

“In White Obelisk the pain you feel is decided by you, it is recommended you use mild settings to have the warning of being struck without too much discomfort however the choice is up to each player, some prefer to have full pain however this option is only available to full residence members due to the effect on the body it can have,”

After a quick look I decide to leave it on mild, I guess the default is best. After closing the window the voice goes on to explain how damage is done base on weapon, impact force and such. It seems to try and be realistic of the real world. After selecting that I am ready to continue the boar starts to move again this time coming at me from the side. It seems to have picked up that I am right handed and that knife would be harder to reach from that side as it charges into me. I try to dodge only to find that the leg it struck won't respond quite as well and I fall down, avoiding it but only just, unable to return an attack. Before I can get up it is charging at me again, I close my eyes scared and thrust out my knife hoping that I can at least make it turn away to avoid it. Fear flowing through me, forgetting I am not really in danger. After a thud and nothing else really happening a carefully open an eye to see the boar impaled on my knife, it then falls to the ground and becomes a small chest. I open it carefully not sure what to expect and see a small, long cloth bag inside. I pick it up which triggers a window to appear, it seems the tutorial is complete and I get to pick a reward of a weapon. I look at all the options, I am surprised to see the magic is on the list even if it is greyed out and also a bow which has red text saying it isn't recommended for beginners. After a few seconds I decide the sword is best, I always had a love of swords like hero's of the books I read. The bag opens and a long, straight sword in a sheath is inside. I carefully take it out surprised with the weight of it. I put it on the belt on my left side and carefully pull the sword out with my right hand. It feels heavy and I quickly put my left hand on the hilt to support it. Simple but elegant would be the best description for it. Nothing fancy just a weapon to use. I try swinging it and find the movement isn't too hard but unable to stop it the blade hits the soft ground and vibrations echo up the blade making me let go, my health bar also drops ever so slightly and I pick it up again putting it away. I guess that the level of realism for this game is fairly high and I will need to be careful of all my actions.

I finish the tutorial and the world fades around me as I move to the real game. I seem to be in a small village, I would say it use to be a farming village but it is burnt with no signs of life. I approach and look around, hand on the hilt of my sword, wondering if I should actually wield it to help me feel safer. A roof behind me falls down and I spin around pulling out my sword. Still no signs of life, yet I feel so uneasy, as if I am being watched or someone is planning to attack me. My breathing feels heavy, my heart racing, my eyes trying to take everything in. Something moves in the shadows and I quickly turn to face it, sword held up to protect myself but more to give me courage. A small animal shoots out of the shadows running away into the forest. I relax a moment but still feeling this uneasiness. A sign nearby, half burnt seems to say the village's name but only the word “Farms” at the end is clear.

“Hey, You!” a voice behind me shouts. I turn around to see what seems to be a man however he is partly in the shadows and my mind starts to imagine a monster lurking waiting to attack, “Give me all your stuff and I will let you live,” he says raising a small axe in both hands, pointing it at me threateningly. A name appears above him saying “Bandit” with little effort I work out that the village was raided and burnt down. The idea angers me and I charge forward bringing my sword up and swinging it down at him. He blocks it with the axe and seems to get angry that I attacked. I quickly try to swing again but the same result. Panic sets in at I feel like I am going to be killed. However before I can prepare for an attack an arrow appears in his chest, quickly followed by another one. I am stunned then see an archer in the distance, she puts her bow away before approaching and checks the bandit, it turns into a small bag of coins and she picks them up and puts them in her pocket. I notice I am shaking from fear and try to calm down, thinking about what to say yet nothing comes to mind and she turns to walk away, I put my sword away and follow a bit behind. I don't know why I but just felt I was safer with her than alone in a burnt village...