I woke up to the powerful smell of earth.

It was all around me, embracing me, and vibrant with a thousand different odors that were impossible to describe.

I smelled Love. Friends. Joy. Life. Birth. Dinner. Conflict. Blood. Reconciliation. Family. And more.

It smelled like Home.

It was almost like I had been blind my entire life, yet somehow I could now see with my nose.

Albeit 'seeing' wasn't the right term — I could just feel it.

A landscape of different aromas lit up the canvas of my entire world.

+ + +

It was fluffy.

And warm.

I was confused yet somehow totally okay with this.

This place was dark and poorly lit, and I was pressed up against a massive wall of fur that seemed at least five times my size. The musky scent was inviting, familiar, and wonderful. Rushes of oxytocin and dopamine coursed through my brain, and I felt relaxed in ways I never had experienced before.

Instinctually, my brain processed this giant wall of fluff as my lover. 

My partner. My mate.

Huh.

I didn't know I was married to anyone.

I had always been single for most of my life, but this felt nice.

He was warm and I could feel his powerful heart beating pressed up against his soft fluffy back.

I wanted to bury myself deeper into him and inhale his inviting scent.

+ + +

Then I felt a bunch of smaller furballs pawing around my stomach.

They were so tiny, I was afraid I would squish them if I rolled over.

They were blind and deaf, like all pups are in the first few days after birth. It would be a few more weeks until their milk teeth started coming in, but until then it would be up to me to feed them.

Surely, they were hungry.

I rolled over slightly to give my pups access to my abdomen. They started licking for little raised bumps on my stomach, and soon they latched on and began suckling milk from my flat midsection.

For a moment, I wondered why I was lactating from my abdomen and not my breasts...

But then I belatedly realized that I had babies.

These were my children.

They smelled like me, and I instinctively knew they were mine.

A little confusion flickered across my brain, because these pups definitely weren't human. They were little balls of fur that were only a few pounds in size, but I loved them terribly. Their names were Loka, Roush, Silka, Vanek, Dresh, and Poush.

It suddenly occurred to me that I probably wasn't human either.

I examined myself briefly, but for some reason I seemed different from my children.

I had pale skin and slender arms, long wavy hair, and a pair of small pointy breasts on my naked chest.

Unlike the rest of my family, I didn't have much fur.

I flicked my ears in confusion as I tried to sit up without disturbing my pups.

Ah...

I had big fluffy ears... and a tail.

They were very soft, a lot like my children and my mate.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was.

Poush whined at me because he couldn't reach my stomach, and he was struggling to crawl over my lap.

I sighed and tried to reposition myself.

Poush was the runt of the litter, but I was fond of him because he looked the most like his dad. I needed to make sure I gave him extra attention, or else his siblings would quickly overgrow him. Wolves were naturally competitive and even children quickly established a social hierarchy of dominance. In years when food was short, the runt would always end up with the worst treatment, but thankfully our pack had recently experienced a good year.

Why did I know all these things...?

My head hurt a little bit.

+ + +

The massive wall of fur next to me suddenly shifted. His sleep was probably disturbed by my restless movements.

I felt his warm fur depart, leaving me exposed to the chilly air, and I turned my head around to look at him.

I didn't realize how big he was.

My mate — he was easily bigger than a bear or even a horse.

He was about the size of a car, and he probably weighed as much as one.

A giant wolf.

His massive form was towering and menacing. If I had been an ordinary human, I probably would have been trembling in fear, but right now I felt relaxed as if I was lounging at home. This was a perfectly normal size. Our species were naturally large, and my own pups would one day grow up as big as their father.

His golden eyes snapped open in the dark.

We didn't communicate with words.

Humans don't always realize this, but many animals communicate nonverbally.

My mate gave me a skeptical look, and I instinctively knew what he meant.

The meaning behind his silent expression was something along the lines of: 

'Why are you in your two-legged form? You're tiny. Your beast form is better. You're moving too much. I can't sleep. I'm going outside. It's almost morning and it's cold today. You should change back to normal. The human body is too flimsy. The pack doesn't need your gift right now. If someone comes asking for your powers, send them away. I will tell everyone that the Shaman is recovering with her newborn litter. I love you. If you are hungry, let me know and we shall hunt.'

I blinked, processing the large volume of information that came from his body language. It was difficult to translate into English, but somehow I was simultaneously aware of all these things from a single glance of his bright shimmering eyes.

I pouted in response.

Rokshu, my mate, was overprotective like usual.

But more importantly, I finally realized that there was something wrong with me.

My memories were a mess.

I didn't quite understand everything that was going on.

"Rokshu, I forgot." I said suddenly.

The words came out in a mixture of growls and rumbles in my throat.

Huh. That wasn't English.

I didn't know what language it was, but it came out naturally.

My enormous wolf partner stared at me for a long time.

The meaning of the silent look on his eyes was something along the lines of:

'What do you mean?'

 

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