Flashes of scattered memories shot through my head.

When I was fourteen, I broke my hip climbing up the water condenser in Sector B4 Zone 7. At the time, I was a total mushroom enthusiast, and I spotted a rare species of Mycoides hydnellum atop a metallic spire in the organic recycling plant. As you might expect from a total nature freak like me, obviously I had to go up and touch it.

My twin sister said it was a bad idea, but I was always the stubborn type of teenager.

I slipped and fell.

Mom and Dad were really angry at me, because I could have fallen into the incinerator's auxiliary chute. I think I was grounded for almost six months after that, not counting the hospital stay and all of the expensive medical fees my treatment racked up. They never told me how much it cost. Everyone always said I was the immature one, even though I was technically the eldest.

Sis still kept spoiling me though.

She used to sneak mushroom spawn through my bedroom window even though I was officially banned from any more mushroom hunting.

Even though we're genetically identical, my twin sister was always the more intelligent and capable one.

I always thought she was amazing.

I felt bad for being a burden.

Even after I graduated from school, I kept living in the basement of my parent's house. It was too hard to find a job. The economy was bad, and the unemployment rate soared during the war. The supply chain for most industries were disrupted due to the orbital embargo, and it was nigh-impossible for a person with mediocre grades like me to get hired for a management position.

My teachers used to sigh in disappointment and say I was dumber than a robot.

You see, if you couldn't even outperform industrial-grade artificial intelligence software, how were you supposed to get a job?

I spent most of my time reading novels and growing mushrooms in my closet.

I always liked growing mushrooms.

You don't need very much in order to grow mushrooms.

I wanted to grow a lot of mushrooms.

Mushrooms always made me feel comfortable.

As long as I had my sister and parents, I didn't need much else to thrive.

+ + +

Tears spontaneously welled up in my eyes.

"I forgot to water the mushrooms in my closet," I mumbled nonsensically. "I left the spray bottle on the kitchen table."

I wiped my face, suddenly recalling another strange memory from another lifetime.

All of those things were gone. In the back of my head, I knew that the UEE's orbital carpet bombing campaign would have unquestionably set everything ablaze. The bunker that we lived in wasn't very deep underground, and it was an ancient decrepit structure that was originally built in the 21st Century. Rationally, everything would be completely incinerated by now.

I was sad for no reason whatsoever.

Rokshu stared at me and slowly sat down on his haunches.

I probably made absolutely zero sense to him, but the expression on his face never changed.

His enormous motionless frame nearly filled the entire space of this small cave.

He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to.

His presence was enough.

'Tell me', his golden eyes seemed to convey wordlessly.

My pups whined from down below, as if they sensed there was something wrong with their mother.

"Rokshu, I have memories."

'Bad ones?'

"Everything feels like a dream."

My mate brought his enormous head forward and nuzzled my arm with his snout.

The touch of his warm fur felt nice.

A single tender action meant a hundred different things that were impossible to translate effectively with words.

"Rokshu, I don't think I'm the same person anymore," I said.

'That's okay. We all change over time.'

"No, I mean. I forgot. I don't remember a lot of things anymore. I don't know who I am. Or where I am."

The giant wolf sitting across from me stared expressionlessly.

Despite my vague language, Rokshu somehow seemed to comprehend me instantly.

'Okay. I understand.'

"But... I don't remember anything..."

'It’s okay.'

"But..."

'Do you know who I am? Are you afraid of me?'

"R-Rokshu, I know you're important to me. I can smell it."

'That's good enough. We are a family. Together.'

"I... suppose so..."

'Your name is Sasha. Does that sound familiar?'

"..Maybe..?"

'I will go ask the pack elders if anyone has heard of your condition. Is there anything else you remember? Do you know how to shift back into your beast form? What of your powers? You are the tribe's shaman.'

My children were struggling to climb up my torso, but Silka lost her balance and fell atop the rest of the litter. A small avalanche of furballs came rolling down to my feet. 

I bit my lip, but then shook my head.

My head was completely blank.

I gathered my pups into my arms and absentmindedly drew them back up my lap.

Rokshu stared at me while I did this.

I was stroking my children across their heads.

I was a little dazed.

I was surprised that he reacted so calmly.

This was probably a huge deal, right?

A shaman sounded like an important position in the pack, probably one with a lot of responsibilities. Moreover, I basically just told my husband(?) that I have amnesia. Ordinarily speaking, this news definitely would have been a huge shock to anyone?

Rokshu abruptly turned around, his tail swishing.

He headed towards the mouth of our cave.

'Trust in your nose, Sasha. You have a good sense of smell, better than most. It has never lead you astray before.'

The massive wolf paused at the entrance.

"I love you," he growled softly.

 

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