Well, I have to say I have had this idea for some time now. I think I want to remake this novel entirely from the ground up since up until now I was shooting myself in the leg. This novel has so much potential, but I was wasting it on literal SHIT!
First of all, the MC that I picked is a 24-year-old good-looking and well-trained special forces soldier, and that means, he has little room for personal growth. Also, the cancer thing got cured far too easily. I also want a more 'Human' person. Sure, he could be lustful, but a psychopathic killer from the get-go? I want to see an emotional struggle, I want to see training, I want to see everyday life struggles without having a head start, I want a quality piece of work, not this garbage direction that I am seeing right now! (I am talking about the fact that in just a fucking week he already got hundreds of points. Sure, it is OP, but I don't like this OPness. Not a bit. I don't sense any sort of struggle at all!)
I personally think that it would be far better, to just pick a below-average-looking orphaned 21-year-old fisherman in debt with loan sharks for paying his little brother's medical bills and get a far more plausible reason to getting that artifact. (From the ocean, instead of inheriting a smelted Aztec whatever thing). Also, it would make it a far more 'deserving' person in my opinion, rather than a psychopathic killer. In the start, I never thought I would be going into the Slice of life genre, but now it is actually very appealing to me, both as a writer and for the possible potential, since I also plan on adding smut scenes.
Also, I would like to note that the new MC will kill people, just that he is not unfeeling about it, and will be at most numb after killing enough people. He is not a psychopath, but he won't hesitate to kill if he has to, for both his own brother and himself.
Second, the system, while it seems rather balanced now, is, in fact, unbalanced as fuck. Yes, sure, he would need to kill 100 people to get to lvl 1, and another 500 + 50 lvl 1 people for lvl 2, but the point gain is what troubled me. I am actually considering giving points from animals as well, albeit small, like killing a large animal like a cow or horse would give 1 point, a shark or tiger maybe 1.5 or 2, but killing a lab mouse(not a rat) would grant 0.001 points. Nerfing EVERYONE to having 0 points at the start, including the MC, and that means they can't buy a gun out of thin air from the start and kill zombies left and right, starting an endless cycle. However, the MC will be able to get points after he gets the system.
Third, I am considering removing the zombie thing entirely. Instead, just make a lot of random monsters pop up everywhere like weeds. But I am not sure about this one. Maybe I will make it so, that people will turn into some sort of insane ghouls instead, like in the fallout series, just without radiation. Dunno.
Fourth, I am also considering, that instead of just gaining the Time-Stipend ability from the get-go, he would need to earn it by investing 10 points in it first. Also, I am considering letting him also get a private dungeon from the artifact itself, where he can train and get points, but not die for real. However, he will feel ALL the pain. Everything. And will only be able to enter it 1 time a day by sacrificing 1 minute. He would not be able to enter higher floors until the mana apocalypse and will be stuck fighting against lvl 0 monsters like slimes at the most.
In any case, I personally think this would be a change for the better in the end. It would make things more interesting, and less forced.
While I understand the concern, I personally think that everything is fine. He was a special forces soldier so the killing thing is fine as he's probably killed before, you called his system a beta test from the get go so adjust it as you go OR make his system different than everyone else's as a gift, the time spendid ability could've been given at a later date but whatever, and as for the zombie thing just make them evolve into different creatures later on. I also agree with you on the cancer thing but whatever.
Over all I font really think that rewriting the story is really necessary, just make changes as you go.
to all the ( i will drop it).......SHUT UP it is bignt's novel and as long as he is happy with the story, it is good. you don't have to read if you don't like the story anymore (like ran. ghosthound on RR) just leave, don't be negative, and don't drag down the ratings on a good story
Whatever you think is best! ?
If you're going to change the setting from zombies to random monster I would like to suggest reading some korean hunter novels with the gates(dungeons) and the invasions(random spawns). It might give you some inspiration. A good example is evolution theory of a hunter, well the early chapters at least
In don't mind. I liked the book before hand as well, it's good that you are changing the characters. I wouldn't have been able to read the story with the same characters.
I also understand you concern, but I honestly think your novel is fine - I'm really enjoying it! Though I can see where you're coming from, I also think you're making a mountain out of a molehill - I feel you're blowing the issues, you pointed out, a tiny wheeny bit out of proportion. What you've written so far is really good! Don't degrade what you've made so far!
I liked that he started out strong. The idea of the MC "earning" his OPness with some over the top suffering is massively overused, and also kind of BS. There are millions of people suffering horribly right now but no one is giving them god like powers for it.
Also, I've seen so many suffering MCs by now that instead of being moved I just end up going "not this **** again."
Then what do you want? That some otaku will get a hocus pocus crap from a magical Tinkerbell and get a system out of his ass? As I was saying, I want STRUGGLE. Having a strong and op mc from the start is just straight-up plot destroying. It is no wonder most authors avoid things like that.
@bignt Well, the ones I'm complaining about usually have several chapters of suffering and abuse for some arbitrary BS reason, followed by the MC getting his cheat and after that he's playing on easy mode. I would rather read about an MC that has to go through a moderate but consistent amount of hardship throughout.
@Toralk Well, the MC this time won't be getting into bullsh*t suffering, but bonafide real-world suffering of an everyday poor guy with a cancer-patient as a younger brother. I am not planning on making something so lame and cringy, like 'Some rich dude ordered his goons to break up my legs for breathing the same air as he did, so I suffered until I got a super cheat system that changed my fate'. Yeah, just no.
I am not saying make him super special but you should at least make him a bit different from the others i mean he would be better mc if he is not some random happy dude just go lucky found the artifact from the Big Boss and for some extra color maybe you should add some back story for the artifact too like why the f it is in the earth not somewhere else in the endless space time reality
Here we go another I will rewrite the novel
For me the novel it's ok like this and I wanted to see more,I'm not against the rewrite and I don't want to drop it, but it's always a let down to wait for chapters all over again
Well if you will really rewrite then I will be waiting for it and hope that is better and it's worth the wait
You do you.
Learning by doing, maybe having like a frame of bullet points might help, so you don't grow the Mc too fast?