Bliss

Hi Everyone! It's been a bit, I've been wrapped up in other projects and schoolwork. This is a smaller exercise I wrote after replaying a favorite videogame from my childhood, so I hope you all enjoy!!!

The boy dropped the tiny gaming console into his bed. Of course it would rear its head again.

So much had been happening as of late, and he was just so tired. This week had been filled with so much turmoil, and he didn't even know who he was anymore. After tossing and turning every night and day he decided to pick up the little console that played the game that had defined his childhood, and the one that was supposed to comfort him, but escape was still an impossibility.

Opening up the game, he was met with three simple lines that was the scope of his entire predicament.

"Are you a boy?

Or are you a girl?

Won't you please tell me?"

Tears streamed from his face. In his mind, he kept reminding himself to use masculine pronouns. Maybe he could just keep using them, convince himself of who he was once again. All of what he could ever be.

Everything began a week ago when he had said that one stupid word, "sure." "Sure" to his friend dressing him up as something he couldn't be, no matter what he wanted. He would always be a stupid boy.

He let her do it anyways.

When she finally let him see, he was flabbergasted. The ugly and disgusting boy he had once been had transformed into something cute (If he was even allowed to be called that). He was dressed in a knee length, blush colored a-line dress, with long, puffed, transparent sleeves. His long brunette hair had been pulled into two small braids, and the makeup applied to his face had hidden what little revolting bits of hair were embedded into his face (mind you, they very much weren't his choice in the first place. He would have very much liked to have a smooth face, simply for the feel of it.)

Despite his constant attempts to convince himself otherwise, he was cute. That was a fact. The scarier part was the fact that he not only couldn't deny it, but that he also liked it.

He liked looking like a girl.

But any guy would, right?

Right?

He quickly got out of the get up and headed home as fast as he could. He had to act like he hated it to protect himself. What other option did he have? He didn't want to be the boy in a dress. Being a boy who looked like a girl just felt.. wrong.

Very wrong.

He wanted to be a girl, and there was no refuting it.

Two days later, he was cracking under the pressure. Everything was scaring him so much, with thoughts of being a girl attacking his mind at all hours of the day. Through his schoolwork, and through every moment, there was no escape.

The boy confessed to his mother. He told her of his wants, his horrible desires, and his need to get rid of them. He prepared himself for hurt, to be told off, to be told he was a disgrace. Instead, he felt two arms wrap around him and embrace him. He felt love from his mother, instead of the shame he had so expected.

The boy burst into tears.

His mother told him of trans people. She said they were those who didn't identify with the gender they were assigned, so they broke free of those assumptions and chose their own path. The mom showed him timelines of people's changes, or transitions as they were called, and what medications could help him. She told the boy that regardless of if he was her son, daughter, or anything else she would love him.

The boy retreated to his room, where he now found himself, just wanting to play a game and take his mind off of it. Of course, that wasn't going to happen.

He picked up the game once again and gazed upon his options. He wanted nothing to do with being a guy, and his mother said if he wanted to be a girl then he was a girl. That much was true. The question was, was he truly allowed to be one? Is that what he wanted?

He thought of birthdays, Halloweens, and Christmases spent with his friends and mother both as a boy and a girl. He found himself getting stuck on the fantasies of being a girl once again, and how every time he thought of someone referring to him as one or treating him as one, a warm feeling of comfort and love would spread across his body. He thought of those he loved and spending time with them, his time practicing piano, and even his time in school. All gave him that same feeling of warmth.

The boy, no, the girl had chosen her path. She knew who she was, and who she wanted to be. She clicked the box containing the girl with her stylus and bounded down the stairs, excited for the future. She knew exactly who she was and for the first time she truly loved and wanted to be that person.

Bursting into the living room, she threw her arms around her mother, tears pouring down her face. Her smile was one of complete bliss and happiness, feelings that couldn't be taken from her, no matter how hard others would try.

"Mom! Mom! I'm a girl!"