You have received Rank C - Good Boy
Huh I wonder what that is-oohhh my god it’s a dog.
”Woof”
“Who’s a good boy? Your a good boy!”
”Woof woof”
Hehe I love dogs. Wait I can’t afford to take care of this thing I’m already dirt poor.
The good boy does not need to be fed. He sustains himself through the power of pats. Pat him well Harry.
Ok that’s a bit odd but I guess I’ll take it.
”So what’s your name gonna be. I guess I’ll just call you good boy.”
”Woof!”
“Dude where did you go I was waiting for you in class this whole time.”
”Doug we take different classes. Also I skipped.”
”Oh yeah. Sooo what’s with the dog?”
“Well... I wanted one so I got it?”
”Cool dude. What’s his name?”
”I call him good boy and I think he likes it.”
”Woof”
”Niiice”
Thank god that Doug is a bit... special. I managed to get through that quite easily. Now I have a few more classes and it’s time to go home.
After fighting my way through hours of boring lectures I finally got home and I remembered that animals weren’t allowed in the apartment I was living in.
”Well fuck. Looks like this is it good boy I won’t be able to take you any farther.”
”woof...”
Abandoning “Good Boy” will result in death.
”Haha I was just kidding good boy you know how much I love you!”
”Woof!”
Jesus this thing actually wants me dead. I only have 2 choices, 1 I abandon good boy and test if I actually die or 2 I take good boy into my apartment and risk getting kicked out which will at least guarantee my survival.
“Alright good boy. If you want to live with me we’re going to have to set some ground rules.”
”Woof”
”1 - No barking. In fact don’t make any sound at all. 2 - No wandering around. You must stay in my room at all times. 3 - If you see see someone that isn’t me then just hide. Understood?”
”Woof!”
God dammit I can only hope any of that actually went through his head. Well I suppose I’ve always wanted a dog so there is some benefit if you can even call it that.
A seemingly pleasant surprise popped up as I was browsing the internet finding out how to care for a dog.
You have received 1 Gacha Token!
Scared that I may have accidentally sold my soul for the token I frantically pressed random buttons on the Gacha System.
”Phew. Had me scared for a second there. Ok, so it says here that good boy will randomly fetch a gacha token every once in a while. A 0.01% chance to get one every day. Wow a 1 in 10000 chance it’s my lucky day it seems. Who’s a good boy!”
”Woof!”
”Woah woah not so loud I don’t want to get kicked out too soon.”
Alright then let’s hope I get something cool from this. Preferably easier to take care of than good boy.
You have received Rank F - Pickle!
Well, a pickle is a pickle I’ll take it.
*crunch*
mmm I fucking hate pickles.
”Hey good boy do you want a pickle?”
[Insert intense head nods]
”Awww who’s a good boy! Oh right you can eat all the dog food scattered on the floor too! Wow good boy you just keep getting better and better. I think someone deserves a few head pets.”
One word. Cute. Ok two words. Fluffy. Perhaps good boy will be worth all the trouble. Maybe I should give him a real name...
”Hey good boy how about I call you Henry?”
[Insert cute dancing followed by furious head pats and belly rubs]
Dear god I could do this all day but I should probably get my work done. I’m sorry Henry but the head pats will have to be saved for later.
Surprise Mission:
Go to the nearest playground and use your chalk and draw as many penises as possible. Make them as grotesque as you can with your abysmal artistic skills.
Reward - Nothing. Maybe? Or maybe not.
I’m really not sure what to make of this. Not only is the mission something a teenager would do but the reward is... well nothing. Maybe. It’s already 10 PM I think I’m just not going to do that. Stupid system.
Correction. This is a COMPULSORY Mission. Have a good night Harry.
Correction. I meant amazing system. . . Nothing? Damn.
Well I didn’t imagine I would be spending my night like this. Just sitting on the sidewalk drawing penises till my chalk runs out. I was actually having a bit of fun watching Henry run around while I was drawing but unfortunately I was rudely interrupted before I could finish.
”Excuse me how old are you? Are you actually so immature that you’re doing THIS with your free time.”
Oh god not only is it a boomer it also might be a Karen. If I play my cards right I’ll be able to get out of this with only my pride shattered.
”Hello miss I was in fact just drawing some elephants to raise awareness of the crisis happening in Africa. Did you know that every day there’s probably an elephant that dies. Now if you don’t mind I would like to get back to my work.”
Nailed it.
”That’s it I’m calling the police.”
”Woah woah just wait a minute. I can give a completely logical and reasonable explanation I just need around like 5 minutes. Can you please wait just a little bit then if you still want to call the police I will willingly hand myself over.”
”Why would I wait for you I’m just calling the police.”
Almost done just need a little more time.
”I have a confession to make Karen. The moment I laid eyes on you I felt like there was nothing in the world that could stop me. I felt like even if I was stuck here drawing elephants I was still on top of the world. Please Karen, accept me for who I am and who I aspire to be. Let me take some of your burden. You don’t have to do this by yourself. Together we can patrol the city and make it a place where teenagers don’t have fun. A place with peace and quiet where boomers can roam free without the judging eyes of millennials. Karen, I love you.”
”The police are on their way.”
Aaaaand DONE. Alright now I gotta get out of here.
”HOLY SHIT KAREN LOOK BEHIND YOU! THOSE TEENS ARE DISTURBING THE PUBLIC WITH THEir uhh OH THEIR BLACK!!!”
”What?”
Nows my chance. Bye Karen it was fun while it lasted.
“Woof!”
”Oh Henry I almost forgot about you! You managed to follow me by yourself. Who’s a good boy!”
You have received the shop function.
Ooh what’s this.
Daily Shop (Refreshes in 00:17)
Enhanced Smell (24h) 10 Gacha Crystals
Gacha Crystals are obtained when you receive a duplicate item of something you cannot get again. (ex. Good Boy, Enhanced Sight, etc.)
Every time you purchase an item it will receive a Rank. The rates are the same as rolling for an item.
Wait you can get duplicates? What the hell kinda scam is this. So it refreshes every midnight and has a single item which is temporary. I’m gonna go to sleep fuck this.
Especially the whole thing with the pickle, LOL.
Thx for the chapter~
I dun like pickles
f*ck you Karen
U
Me