"Hey mom do you think you could help me with something?"

"You only call your dear mother whenever you need something how cruel."

"I've been busy though I just got a dog!"

"Riiight you got a dog. So what do you need?"

"I'm serious though... But I was sort of wondering if you could tell me how one would acquire a girlfriend."

"Oh my Harry did someone catch your eye? Don't worry your mom is gonna help you get her! First tell me everything you know about her."

"I don't like anyone I just wanted to get a girlfriend like super quick. Preferably within a month."

"Harry. Mommy's gonna be honest with you here. You're not the brightest nor are you the best looking so it's gonna take some time for you to find the right one. If you really want a girlfriend that badly then you'll have to aim low. Like super low. And even then it will take a while to get a girlfriend. Harry it's alright if you don't have a girlfriend mommy will still love you."

"yea thanks mom. So if I were to find a super below average girl how would I go about making her fall in love with me."

"Harry love is a delicate thing. It can't be forced. These things take time you can't just get a girlfriend in a month."

"But... what about Henry. Mom even if it's not possible I have to at least try. Henry is such a good boy I can't just sit by and watch him die."

"Henry?"

"Henry is my. Never mind it's just some joke but I still want to try. Please help me."

"Alright do you know any girls?"

You kidding me? I only have Doug as my friend you think I know any girls. Oh right how could I forget about Jenny.

"I know Doug's sister but she's kinda creepy."

"That's not nice in fact she's quite pretty isn't she? I'm sure Doug would support you as well since he’s always wanted you to be his brother."

"How do I explain this. She's basically the polar opposite of Doug and you would think that's a good thing but... Doug and I are pretty close and he tell me a lot of weird shit and he sort of told me he's into being tied up and being submissive and shit. After hanging out with Doug and Jenny for so many years I feel like I have a pretty good read on their character. Mom just a single wrong move with Jenny and my butt is gonna be demolished."

"Harry it's not good to simply assume that. Perhaps she's a lot like Doug and you're misunderstanding her."

"I'm not sure I would like it either way mom."

"Don't lie to mommy I know that's the type of thing you enjoy. I've seen the things you watch."

"Yea but that's more like a fantasy it doesn't mean I actually want it to happen. wait how do you know what I watch."

"Harry, mommy isn't very smart or pretty just like you but unlike you mommy is very clever and sneaky. If I want to know something I'll find out."

Mom you're really scaring me here. I really need to lock my door next time I go home.

"...either way I just don't really like her."

"Alright then good luck getting a girlfriend Harry! I'll wish you good luck from home."

"what you're not going to help me?"

"Well Jenny is a very nice girl so it's either her or it's nobody."

Why does this sound like a threat. Mom you're actually really scary.

"ok fine I'll do it. So what do I do?"

"Just hang out with her a lot she likes you trust me."

"right I'll try that bye mom."

Ok so it's quite clear that mom has no idea what she's doing, but it's still the best I've got so might as well try. Wait did mom just indirectly call me stupid... or rather she called me not clever or sneaky. That hurts a bit.

---

"Hey what's up Doug."

"Harry what's up. So why'd you call me?"

"Doug. I like your sister and I was hoping you could help me out a little."

...

”Stop looking at me like that it’s creepy.”

”Harry of course I’ll help you. I’ve always wanted a brother and there’s no better candidate than you!”

”Thanks Doug you’re a good friend. I mean brother. So what do I need to know about Jenny?

”Well she likes tennis, she likes animals, she likes pie, she likes herself , and she likes me.”

“...I already know half of those things. What should I do to get her to like me?”

”Well I think she’s had a thing for you for a while but you always avoid her so maybe you should start by making amends and apologizing. Also bring pie. And your dog. And me.”

“Alright thanks Doug I’ll do that. Could you arrange a meeting for us?”

Though Doug seems like an idiot most of the time it seems when it’s important he will come through.

---

“Harry! It’s been a while hasn’t it.”

”hi jenny”

Oh God Jenny is so pretty. The fact that I’m a virgin makes her at least 5 times prettier. Damn now that I think about it Doug is pretty good looking too. Life is unfair.

”What’s up sis it’s been a while since us three have hung out.”

”Yea it’s been so long it almost felt like you were avoiding me Harry.”

That smile doesn’t look right. Now matter how pretty she is I must remember that this woman is dangerous. If I look away for a second it’ll end with my asshole being stretched just a bit more.

”Ha no way just college you know what I mean.”

”Right. College.”

”Oh right I forgot I left my microwave on at home I’ll see you guys later. Make sure you take good care of Harry ok sis!”

As Doug is walking away I see him turn and give me the most obvious wink one could possibly make. Doug you’re a good man with good intentions but damn you suck at it.

”Well what do you wanna do?”

”Harry hold that thought. Is that a dog?”

”Yeah this is Henry. He’s been my best friend for the past few days.”

”Oh my god. Who’s a good boy!”

”Woof!”

Damn Henry. I wish I was you right about now. Woah. Why is she giving me a death stare.

”So Harry. Why exactly were you avoiding me and why have you come to see me again? Do you think I’m just someone you can play around with?”

”Jenny I’ll be honest with you after we came to college you changed and it freaked me out a bit but now I think I’ve matured enough to look past your changes and I hope we can be friends again.”

”Well I guess we can be friends if you tell me what it is you and Doug are planning. I love my brother and all but he’s too easy to read.”

Doug, my brother, I’m sorry about this but sometimes sacrifices must be made.

“I’m sorry. I let Doug convince me into this stupid plan. He wanted me to be his brother and so he’s trying to hook us up.”

”That’s stupid. Being brothers legally won’t change the relationship between the two of you... yea that’s definitely something Doug would do.”

Wow maybe I shouldn’t have said that. The amount of disappointment she’s exuding is almost frightening. Doug my boy, good luck.

“I know this place with some good pie do you wanna check it out?”

“You only buy me pie when you’re trying to bribe me. Spit it out what do you want.”

”Well I feel like you still doubt our friendship, so to solidify my position I willingly offer to you a delicious pie.”

”Oh fine. You just want to be friends again right? Make sure you get the most expensive one!”

Oh god. My poor wallet.

---

After buying Jenny her pie and dying a little bit inside it was time to say goodbye.

”I had a good day today Jenny. Want to meet up again some time?”

”Listen Harry. I’m not stupid I know what you want from me and I’m sorry but I just can’t get into another relationship right now. I’ll admit that I did used to like you but I’m just not ready for another one.”

”Oh it’s fine. I’m gonna go home now I’ll see you later. Come on Henry let’s go.”

Damn I thought it was going super well too. I guess I sort of deserve this going in with my half-assed feelings but it still hurts. Ahh gacha system soothe my aching soul.

Daily Mission:

Rank F 

Give Jenny a kiss.

Reward - 2 Gacha Tokens

You just want to watch my soul crumble huh. I’m just going home I can’t do that to Jenny, at least not when she looks like her soul is aching as well. It seems to fix my soul I only have one other option.

”Henry today you shall receive twice NO! Three times as many pats as usual!”

”Woof!”

Henry. I won’t let you die even if I have to embarrass the shit out of myself on the way. I’ve already lost my pride to that Karen so what more can I lose.