bafflinghaze

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Zhou Sheng’s lips pursed slightly. “...Yes.” He looked warily at Wen Zhihao but only saw confusion on his face, not condemnation.

This was because Wen Zhihao was recalling all the different xianxia he had ever seen or watched. There were so many xianxia where demonic cultivators were evil, and so many xianxia were demonic cultivators were the heroes, to the point that Wen Zhihao had no idea which was what anymore.

Finally, Wen Zhihao politely asked, “Cultivator Zhou, please explain some more. What does ‘demonic cultivator’ mean? What kind of demonic cultivator are you?”

Zhou Sheng put down his chopsticks. His eyes darkened. Did this Wen Zhihao want to trick him? His voice took on a mocking tone as he answered, “Demonic cultivators are evil cultivators who use improper methods to gain power. Many demonic cultivators desecrate corpses, assault and slaughter innocents, and go against what is natural, against the order of the world.”

Wen Zhihao’s eyebrows raised slightly. That sounded like anti-demonic cultivation propaganda. “What kind of demonic cultivator are you?” he repeated. Somehow, he didn’t think that this Zhou Sheng would be one of those mass murderer type demonic cultivators.

Zhou Sheng raised a hand. Beads of blood formed on his skin, sharpening into a thin blade-like slither. “I am a blood cultivator.”

He let the blade fly. It easily sliced through the nearest tree. Now, he saw Wen Zhihao frown. As expected, all righteous cultivators hated demonic cultivators—

“I hope you eat enough iron-rich foods to compensate for your blood loss and vitamin-C-rich foods to help absorb that iron,” Wen Zhihao said, nudging the food box closer to the other. “Eat. This is a meat bun. Have some fruit too,”

Zhou Sheng heard the words but didn’t understand the tone of concern. “You—you don’t hate me for being a blood cultivator?” he asked, sounding lost. “Using blood is disrespectful to the parents...Against the natural order...”

Wen Zhihao’s heart softened. Poor kid.

“I don’t hate you. Your blood is your own, made by your own body.” He added sternly, “If you were stealing other people’s blood, then that’s a different situation.”

Zhou Sheng nodded, still dazed. “Yes...It’s different...You understand...” Zhou Sheng’s heart was sour. Even though Wen Zhihao was clearly younger than him, Wen Zhihao felt older and more stable.

‘Old-man-at-heart’ Wen Zhihao said wisely, “Food nourishes the body.”

Zhou Sheng finally picked up his chopsticks again. With a little qi-force, he sliced the meat bun into pieces that he could pick up with his chopsticks. He was about to bite when he remembered: “...What is ‘vitamin C’?”

Wen Zhihao froze for a split second. Woops. He answered vaguely, “Vitamin C is something found in many fruits, especially oranges.”

“Hm.”

Zhou Sheng ate quietly. The food was really delicious. “The bun is very soft and chewy, and the meat is flavourful and not dry at all. I have rarely tasted something so good. Did you cook this?”

Because of Zhou Sheng’s description, Wen Zhihao couldn’t help but pick up a meat bun for himself too. “This feast is cooked by Chef Liu Jing of the Golden Sun Sect.”

Zhou Sheng brows wrinkled. “I used to be part of the Golden Sun Sect, but the food wasn’t like this.”

“Ah, the bland food of the Banquet Hall?”

“En. If the food there had changed to be like this...”

Wen Zhihao snorted. “No, it’s definitely still bland. This food here is specially made by the chefs at the kitchens. I really didn’t want to eat plain porridge every day.”

“As a righteous cultivator, one must achieve inedia and eat only the purest foods when necessary,” Zhou Sheng said in a pompous voice. He added in a lowered tone, “I used to add century eggs just to make it taste better.”

Wen Zhihao’s lips curled up. “That’s a good idea. Pity all those poor disciples forced to eat such boring things every day!”

“Maybe that’s why some of them are so irritable. They’re hungry but the food is so off-putting.”

“It’s not even the cooks’ fault! Aunty Liu told me that the food is all made using recipes given to them by the sect administration! Aunty Liu and the others are good cooks, but they have to follow orders. What does your sect serve?”

Zhou Sheng scoffed. “My sect only serves food to those who are in the top positions. The rest of us have to find our own food. Some rogue cultivators have set up restaurants near the sect just for this.”

“Are they culinary cultivators?” Wen Zhihao asked curiously. “They must produce heavenly food.”

Zhou Sheng was a little speechless with Wen Zhihao’s thought process.

“...No, they are mostly weapon-type cultivators. They must defend against unruly patrons if necessary. However, I find the best chefs are mortals. There is a very good mapo tofu vendor in a town twenty li or so away from here.”

Wen Zhihao straightened. “Really?”

“Yes, it’s next to the best hand-pulled noodles that I’ve tasted.”

“Now that you’ve said that, you have to show me. When are you free?” Although he and Sun Fuyu had visited many towns, they obviously haven’t tasted everything that should be tasted yet. It would be great if he could take Sun Fuyu to more delicious places.

Zhou Sheng’s eyes darkened as a dream fragment flashed in his mind. “I will be busy. Perhaps in a week's time. I still have not been able to complete your task.”

Wen Zhihao shrugged. “If you can’t complete it, then you can’t complete it. Here, have some of this watermelon. I helped grow it, and it accidentally became a spiritual fruit…”

After Zhou Sheng finished eating a few watermelon cubes, another growling sound came from the forest.

Zhou Sheng’s eyes contracted in wariness, his blood pumping faster as a large lion-like demonic beast burst out and ran at full speed straight at them.

Wen Zhihao’s eyes brightened. He nudged the dog off his lap and stood up, just in time to catch the cat leaping into his arms. “Hello, you’re here!” Wen Zhihao cooed as he petted the fluffy cat that was as tall as him. “Zhou Sheng, this is one of the cats of the Golden Sun Sect.”

Zhou Sheng: ...That’s clearly not a cat...

The demonic cat’s tail swung back and forth as she spread her scent over Wen Zhihao and covered up that stupid dog smell.

Seeing that Zhou Sheng remained silent, Wen Zhihao put the cat down. He patted the cat when she gave a meow of dissent. “Zhou Sheng, feed the cat a meat bun,” he said. “Stretch your legs out, don’t worry, she won’t bite…”

Who knows how it happened, but a few minutes later, Zhou Sheng found himself with a large furry demonic beast on his lap, his hands hesitantly copying Wen Zhihao in petting it.

- Hmpf, since you gave me food, I’ll allow it, the demonic cat purred.

Zhou Sheng’s headache seemed to have completely disappeared. His stomach was comfortably filled, mouth sweet. The demonic beast was soft and solid, anchoring him to the world. His fingers stroked over soft and smooth fur, the beast complacent and willing to be in Zhou Sheng’s company. Gentle warm qi permeated the air.

Zhou Sheng felt his throat clog up. How long has it been since he felt like this? How long has it been since someone cared for him?

Wen Zhihao sat back down, and the dog immediately crawled back onto his lap. His eyes softened at Zhou Sheng’s bowed head, lips curling up lazily.

Cat therapy had a 100% success rate!

Thanks for all the comments! It inspired the following little theatre~

Wen Zhihao's "harem": a little theatre

*David Attenberg voice*

Presenter: The preferred habitat of the salted fish cultivator, also known as Wen Zhihao, is characterised by...

Viewers see a large house surrounded by picturesque gardens. Various big cats are sleeping in the sun. Inside, there are floor to ceiling windows, their curtains pulled back to let in warm sunlight.

Presenter: It is believed that the salted fish cultivator has many so-called partners, a harem, if you will. Let us quietly see what he and his harem are doing…

Viewers see piles of blankets and cushions by the window. Wen Zhihao is napping in the center, surrounded by other sleeping cultivators.

Presenter: As viewers can see, the aura of the salted fish cultivator has caused all members of his harem to also nap. *Yawns* Hmm this presenter is getting sleepy too...

[Later]

Presenter: Due to viewer requests, this presenter has returned late at night to observe bedroom activities…

In the night-vision camera, viewers see….everyone sleeping together on a big bed.

Presenter: A less well-known conjecture of researchers is that the salted fish cultivator does not keep a harem, but instead runs a childcare—I mean cultivator-care—facility…