Say readers. Do you have anyone you never want to meet again if you can help it? Like the bully who tormented you when you were younger? Or that crazy teacher who decided that she’s going to make your life a living hell for no apparent reason? How about the girl who rejected you brutally?

   ‘I’m Ogasawara Iori from Class 1-4, nice to meet you.’

   Man, I hate my life.

   That’s right. Our client today is none other than the girl who made me misunderstood her feelings for me, only to correct me in a totally heartbreaking way.

   From the way she’s reacting, she doesn’t even remember me. Typical. I guess I should keep calm and act like nothing had happened between us.

   ‘Nice to meet you, Ogasawara-san. What kind of love problems do you have?’ Nagano asks Ogasawara.

   ‘You see, I’m currently stuck in a triangle relationship.’ Ogasawara begins. ‘Both my best friend, Hamasaki Juri, and myself are in love with Tsutsumi Ryoma-’

   ‘You’re going to lose.’ I tell her without a single hint of hesitation.

   ‘What? How can you make a conclusion just like that?’ Ogasawara demands.

   ‘Listen, I could still give you benefit of the doubt if your competition is anyone else, but it’s the Hamasaki we’re talking about. To put it simply, you don’t stand a chance.’

   ‘It’s rare for you to be so confident about something like this, Bandou-kun. Do you have any basis on your theory?’ Nagano asks me curiously.

   ‘Oh come on. Surely you’ve heard about Hamasaki, right?’

   ‘Well, of course I do. She’s the one who got first place in the Most Idealistic Girlfriend Poll that some male student made, right?’

   ‘Exactly. Do you think Ogasawara here stand a chance against her?’

   ‘Um…’

   ‘Hey, not you too!’

   A bit of context here just in case you find what I said difficult to believe. The thing is, I’ve seen Hamasaki in action a few times before, which is why I don’t doubt the result of the poll at all.

   There was a time where I saw her took out a sewing kit and patch up the tears of a male student’s pants. Based on their conversation, they don’t even know each other. On another occasion, she was patiently listening to a females student’s problems. There was another time when we had to run a marathon, and she was at the finish line cheering everyone on despite the fact that the weather was very hot and she’s already done with the running. In conclusion, Hamasaki is a goddess.

   To be honest, Ogasawara ain’t half-bad either. She’s very active in sports, and she always goes around helping out all kinds of sport clubs in our school. She’s optimistic and cheerful and exactly the type of people you need in sport clubs that can be stressful at times. As a result, she’s popular among both male and female students.

   If I have to mention her shortcomings, it’s that she’s someone honest straightforward that doesn’t mince words. She hates hypocrisy and pretense and is not afraid to speak her mind. As a result, she’s always clashing with someone. I can’t count quickly enough the amount of times she had an argument with someone.

   If I had to describe both of them with a metaphor, I would say that Hamasaki is a warm sun, while Ogasawara is a fiery flame.

   ‘Look, I’ve decided that I’m not giving up on Ryoma, no matter who my competition is. I’m going all out.’ Ogasawara says stubbornly.

   ‘Even if it means cheating in a fair competition by asking for our help?’ Suzu asks her.

   Wow, she actually asked her that. Even I’m not brave enough to do that.

   Ogasawara slams her head on the desk when she heard the question.

   ‘I know that I’m cheating, okay? But it’s Juri! I don’t stand a chance against her in a fair fight!’ she wails.

   ‘So you do realize that you’re inferior to Hamasaki.’ I say drily.

   She raises up her head. ‘Well, yeah. We were together since we were in kindergarten, so I pretty much know everything about her.’

   ‘Don’t listen to those two. I for one think that it’s fine to seek help as long as you’re not trying to tarnish Hamasaki-san’s reputation.’ Nagano tries to encourage her.

   ‘Hey, there’s no way I would go that far, okay? I have conscience!’

   ‘That’s good to hear. Now let us try to help you get closer to Tsutsumi-kun, then.’

   Urgh. I guess we’re really doing this. If there’s one situation I don’t want to deal with, it’s love triangles. There’s always a loser when the competition is over, and I just can’t bear to see the sight of the loser as his/her crush is together with someone else. Trust me. I was always the loser in love triangles with a chance close to zero, so I know what I’m talking about.

   ‘For starters, tell us what you’re bad at.’ I tell Ogasawara. ‘If you want to one-up Hamasaki, you might need to fix those weakness.’

   ‘Okay. Well, I don’t know how to cook, I’m kind of sloppy at times, and worst of all, I’m really bad at conveying my feelings to someone I like.’

   I can’t help but getting mildly annoyed at the last part. Since she doesn’t like me, she didn’t find it necessary to mince her words. Hence, I was mowed down without mercy.

   ‘The last two things aside, I think Bandou-kun can at least help you with your cooking skills.’ Nagano suggests.
I nod in agreement. ‘You know what they say, if you want to get a guy, conquer him through his stomach.’

   It took me a few seconds to completely process what Nagano just said.

   ‘Wait a second, I’m the one who’s teaching her? Why can’t you?’ I ask her.

   ‘Isn’t that obvious? I can’t cook.’

   ‘You can’t? Where did you get those food you always ate during lunch time then?’

   ‘Noriko-san cooked it for me.’

   ‘Wait, you actually let her cook?’

   ‘I can’t help it, okay? Neither Kimi nor I knows how to cook. It’s too risky to leave it to Noriko-san, but she could at least get it right some of the times. To increase her chance of success, she even cooks in huge bulks.’

   I’m not even going to ask where do all the failed ones go.

   Suzu raises up her hand lazily. ‘I can’t cook too.’

   ‘Yes. I know.’

   And so, I’m have to teach Ogasawara all by myself. We need to buy some ingredients to practise, so we can’t do this immediately. Plus, both our schedules clash with each other a lot, so I can’t teach her on a school day. That only leaves Sunday. And here comes the worst part. Sunday means no school. No school means no accessing the Home Economy Classroom.

   ‘So, your house or mine?’ I ask her as naturally as I could.

   ‘Yours. Juri and Tatsuma lives quite close to my house, and my parents are in too, so you definitely can’t come to my house.’

   ‘Sure. Anything you say. Just so you know, you’re paying for all the ingredients.’

   ‘Naturally. I can’t have you pay when you’ve already gone through the trouble of teaching me.’

   Sunday arrives, and Ogasawara is the only one who comes to my house. I’ve asked Nagano, Suzu and even Nitta to come as well. Unfortunately, Nagano has to help around the shrine the one time I need her help, Suzu’s plain lazy, and Nitta, well, she’s a busy idol. Enough said.

   I’ve already bought the ingredients we’ll be using on the previous day, so the first thing I do when she arrives is show her the receipt. She paid me in full down to the last digits. She even brought lots of coins so that she could give me the exact change. Now that money’s out of the way, it’s finally time for the lesson.

   I take out two glass jars containing salt and sugar and put them in front of her.

   ‘Step one. Identify which is salt and which is sugar.’ I instruct.

   She opens the jars and tastes the contents. She then points at one of them.

   ‘This is sugar.’

   She points at the second one.

   ‘This is salt.’

   I nod approvingly. ‘Good. You passed the first test.’

   ‘Wait, that’s it?’

   ‘Hey, some people even fails at this simple test, you know? And this is just the beginning. There’s a lot more to learn.’

   Ogasawara is still a beginner, so I only taught her the basics: how to handle a knife, how to cut all kinds of ingredients, and cook some simple stuff.

   ‘Listen up and listen carefully. If you ever feel like practising at home, just cook something simple and follow the recipe exactly written on wherever you found it. Do not under any circumstances alter it. Got it?’

   ‘Understood. By the way, you’re really good at this, um…’

   ‘Just call me Bandou.’

   ‘Right, Bandou-kun. I’m sorry for not asking your name earlier.’

   ‘It’s fine.’

   ‘As I was saying, you’re really good at this.’

   ‘Well, I practiced lots, which is something you need to do as well if you want to impress Tsutsumi. By the way, do you know how good is Hamasaki’s cooking?’

   ‘I’ve tried it way more times I can count. She’s really good. There’s no way I can catch up to her with just a few practices.’ she replies dejectedly.

   ‘Hey, don’t think you’re defeated just yet.’ I tell her. ‘For now, just concentrate on making your food edible. After that, you can turn your weakness into strength.’

   ‘Wait, I’m not supposed to get rid of them?’

   ‘Why do you even want to do that? Just use them to your advantage. For your lack of skill in cooking, you can pull a girl-who-tried-hard card and appeal yourself while acting all cutesy. If you’re sloppy, you can use that excuse to invite him to your room to get closer to him. Guys tend to get nervous easily when they’re inside a girl’s room, so use that to attack. And you said you can’t be dishonest? Just be a mild tsundere. The gap will make any guy’s heart go wild.’

   ‘...Guys are weird.’ she concludes after listening to my strategy.

   ‘Hey, you fell in love with one. That makes you weird too.’

   Five days later, Ogasawara thinks that she has enough practice, so she muster up her courage to cook some food for Tsutsumi so that he could eat them during lunchtime. I know this because she came to our club room and told us about it on the previous day. Nagano got worried, so she dragged Suzu and I to observe them even though we were eating our own lunch.

   As we watch, Tsutsumi is eating from a lunchbox presumably prepared by Hamasaki, since Ogasawara is fidgeting around nervously.

   ‘The food you made is as delicious as always, Juri!’ Tsutsumi tells Hamasaki.

   Hamasaki smiles happily. ‘I’m glad that you enjoy it, Ryoma-kun.’

   ‘Seriously, it’s so good I could eat it forever!’

   That makes Hamasaki blush. She covers her blushing cheeks with both her hands.

   ‘Well, I could cook for you for the rest of your life if you want to…’ Hamasaki mumbles.

   ‘Huh, what was that?’

   ‘N-Nothing! I was just talking to myself! Ahaha!’ Hamasaki tries to laugh it off.

   ‘Is he doing that on purpose? Even we could hear what she said, and we’re all the way over here.’ Nagano says in a disgusted tone.

   ‘Seriously, why is it that dense guys like him always so popular?’ I ask.

   ‘Oh look, Ogasawara-san is making her move.’ Suzu says.

   And so she is. Ogasarawa takes a few deep breath and unties her lunchbox. She then shows it to Tsutsumi.

   ‘R-R-Ryoma, try mine too!’ she pleads loudly.

   Both Tsutsumi and Hamasaki are totally surprised by Ogasawara.

   ‘Did you make that, Iori?’ Tstsumi asks her.

   ‘I sure did. I’ve failed a lot, but I hope you’ll love it!’ she says with a cute smile.

   That smile stunned Tsutsumi for a second. After he recovers, he take a piece of fried chicken with his chopsticks.

   ‘...How is it?’ Ogasawara asks as he’s chewing it.

   ‘Oh, this is quite good.’ he comments after swallowing it.

   ‘R-Really?’

   ‘Yeah. I didn’t even know you could cook, Iori.’

   Ogasawara puffs up her cheeks and looks away. ‘Hmph! Don’t get mistaken, okay? It’s not like I practiced just for you or anything! But if you insist, I guess I could cook for you every once in a while!’

   ‘Well, if it’s not too much trouble for you.’

   Ogasawara turns back and looks at him happily. ‘It’s no trouble at all! Just expect a feast, okay?’

   Tsutsumi got stunned once again. I take it that Ogsawara rarely shows her cute side to him. Meanwhile, Hamasaki is panicking.

   ‘You’ll still eat the lunch I make for you right, Ryoma-kun?’ she asks Tsutsumi.

   ‘Of course! The food that both of you make are so delicious I can eat all of them!’

   ‘I’m so glad.’

   ‘Well, I guess that it’s going to be a competition, Juri.’ Ogasawara says to Hamasaki.

   ‘I’m not going to lose, Iori-chan.’ Hamasaki says.

   The two of them start staring daggers at each other.

   ‘Whoa whoa, calm down girls. I already said that I was going to eat both your food. There’s no need for a competition, yeah?’ Tsutsumi the dense rock tells them both.

   The two girls stops glaring at each other and sighs at the same time.

   ‘We sure have bad taste in men, huh?’ Ogasawara asks Hamasaki.

   ‘Yes we do, Iori-chan. Yes we do.’ Hamasaki agrees.

   Tsutsumi looks at them one by one.

   ‘What are you girls talking about?’ he asks them.

   ‘It’s nothing.’ they answer at the same time.

   After they’re done eating, Hamasaki excused herself to go to the toilet. That’s when Ogasawara makes her move once more.

   ‘Say Ryoma, can you come and help me clean up my room after school’s over?’ she asks Tsutsumi.

   ‘Again? Well, if you insist. We’ll ask Juri for help too-’

   ‘No, just you is enough. And don’t tell her about this, okay? It’s going to be our little secret.’

   ‘Um, why?’

   Ogasawara leans on Tsutsumi’s shoulder without looking at him.

   ‘Don’t make me spell it out for you, dummy.’ she whispers.

   Tsutsumi got stunned for the third time.

   ‘Did you teach her all that, Bandou-kun?’ Nagano asks me.

   ‘I only taught her to use her weakness as strength. The rest was all hers.’

   ‘She’s a natural at this~.’ Suzu comments.

   ‘No kidding. Why on earth would she needs help on taking down a guy is anyone’s guess.’ Nagano agrees.

   ‘Um, because her rival is Hamasaki?’ I suggest.

   ‘Well look at Ogasawara-san go! How could she ever be defeated?’

   Hamasaki came back at this moment, and she tripped over nothing. Tsutsumi and Ogasawara saw her fell down and went to her alarmed.

   ‘Are you okay, Juri-gulp!’

   Tsutsumi turned away his neck in embarrassment as her legs are wide open. Hamasaki realizes it too and quickly closes her legs.

   ‘Eek, don’t look Ryoma-kun!’ she tells him loudly.

   ‘I’m not looking! I’m definitely looking!’ he insists.

   Ogasawara bends down and help Hamasaki to get up.

   ‘Seriously, how did you always managed to fall down when there’s nothing there?’ she asks her childhood friend.

   ‘There was a pebble or something, okay? I couldn’t see it because my breasts were in the way again!’ Hamasaki complains while lifting up her huge breasts.

   I forgot to mention this before, but Hamasaki has a dynamite body. Her chests are especially large. They’re probably bigger than Suzu’s, and Suzu is a half-foreigner. Basically, Hamasaki is busty, clumsy, possess high girl power and good in cooking. It’s next to impossible to find a more perfect wife candidate than her.

   ‘As you can see, a half-polished stone is nothing compared to a raw diamond.’

   ‘All boys are wolves.’ Nagano grumbles.

   And things have been going on like this for weeks. Nagano only dragged Suzu and I along to observe them for only one time, which makes me real glad since I couldn’t care less about who’s going to win. However, Ogasawara drops by every once in a while to tell us of her progress, so there’s no getting out of this until one of the girls win.

   Finally, Ogasawara tells us that both her and Hamasaki is going to confess to Tsutsumi after he’s done with his sports karate competition.

   ‘I don’t know about Juri, but I’m going to confess to Ryoma whether he wins or loses. If he wins, I’ll declare that I’m part of his prize. If there’s a tiny chance that he loses, I’m going to comfort him and tell him that I’ll always be next to him so that he doesn’t have to suffer alone.’ Ogasawara explains her plan to us.

   ‘Well, good luck.’ Nagano wishes her.

   ‘Thank you. I’m really going to need it.’

   Naturally, we have to go to the venue as well. I can’t think of a worse torture than this. I’ve never liked sports karate since it’s so tame compared to other martial arts. I mean, it has the word sport on its name. That’s all you need to know.

   The place where they held the competition is surprisingly packed with people. As I expected, all the matches are very boring. I don’t see knockouts, I don’t see any blood, and I don’t hear any cry of pain. Seriously, who on earth thought that this was a good idea? It was all I could do to not yawn and fall asleep.

   Finally, it’s time for the finals. Tsutsumi has won every other match so far and he’s about to face an opponent that did the same. At the end of the match, Tsutsumi emerged as the champion. What’s that? You want me to give you at least part of what had happened? I would love to, really I do. Unfortunately, I’ve already forgotten about it by the time I wrote this since it was so boring.

   After Tsutsumi was done being congratulated by his fellow students, Hamasaki and Ogasawara approach him at the same time and said something to him. I couldn’t hear it since we were sitting too far away. They then went off somewhere.

   ‘Who do yo think Tsutsumi-kun will choose?’ Nagano asks me.

   ‘I honestly have no idea.’ I state my opinion honestly.

   ‘Maybe he’ll chicken out and says he needs more time to think it over.’ Suzu suggests.

   ‘Yup. That could totally happen.’

   Around five minutes later, Ogasawara came out all by herself. And she’s on the verge of crying. Looks like Tsutsumi didn’t try to delay it.

   ‘Um, I’m going to comfort her.’ Nagano says to us while getting up from her seat.

   ‘Yeah, you do that.’

   Nagano brings Ogasawara to somewhere, and they didn’t come back for quite a while. When they eventually did, Ogasawara looks a bit better.

   ‘I’ve lost. Sorry for wasting all of your time, especially yours, Bandou-kun.’ Ogasawara says to us.

   ‘It’s fine.’ I tell her.

   ‘Do you want to go have some ice cream?’ Suzu asks her. ‘Ice cream always make people happy.’

   ‘Yeah, sure. Let’s go.’

   And so, we left the venue. And the newly-formed love bird that’s probably flirting somewhere. I was expecting Ogasawara to go nuts, but she got herself a normal amount of ice cream and eats it slowly.

   ‘Things are going to be so awkward between us from now on.’ she mumbles to herself.

   ‘Are you still going to hang out with them?’ I ask her.

   ‘Most probably not. I don’t want to disturb them, and it’ll pains me if I see them flirting with each other.’

   ‘You can always come and hang out with us if you want.’ Nagano offers.

   ‘Thank you. I’ll keep that offer in mind.’

   We separated after her and Suzu were done with their ice cream. No point staying there any longer than we have to.