I’m in pain. That’s the first thing I notice. Slowly, feeling returns to my body as the systems responsible for life begin to reboot, bringing me ever more gradually into a state of awakeness.

“Fuck… this was a mistake...”

I’m in a bed. Wait… where the fuck am I?

I jolt upright, finally laying eyes on my surroundings. I'm alone in a small room that looks something like a closet, nestled comfortably in a shoddy-looking bed that’s just dirty enough to be concerning. The only other amenity is a small, worn chair.

How… did I get here?

I try to stand up, sending aches throughout my entire body.  I'm in a bad way right now.

The door opens, and a familiar, handsome figure steps into the room.

“How’re ya feelin’?” Bernard says, with a worried look.

“Like shit.”

“Yeah… testing with Tanya’ll do that. Least she brought you up here to our “newbie” room. The last dude had to crawl out of the basement on his own.”

“A little bit of a warning would’ve been nice. I mean, what was that ‘Tanya will get your career started right,’ bullshit you said yesterday? She nearly killed me!”

Bernard looks at me for a moment, scanning my face. He takes a seat in the worn wooden chair.

“That’s what it is to be an exterminator. Your opponents’ll be stronger than you, your body’ll groan and ache because you’re days into an expedition, your nerves’ll be completely fried from the constant danger, making everyone twitchy and irritable, but you still gotta keep going. So, Vin… Can you keep going?”

“I… maybe.”

“That won’t cut it. Dig deep. Can you really do this?”

Fuck no. My body hurts, I can’t move, and I’m utterly terrified of the blonde beast who did this to me.

But… I can’t say no. I need to become an exterminator.

“Yeah, I can do this.” I lied.

“Then… welcome to the guild.”

“Wait… seriously? You do know that the reason I’m in this bed is that I lost, right?”

“Nobody can beat Tanya. If we only accepted people who won in a fight against her, we’d have an empty guild. The test’s meant to weed out the weak-spirited and completely incapable.”

“So… I’m an exterminator now?”

“A trainee. Give it a few months, then you can test to become a full-fledged member.”

As much as this is a victory… it doesn’t feel like it.

I fall back into the pillow behind me.

“I’ll leave you to rest. I’ll try to keep people away, but I think some of the vets are drinking tonight, and chances are they’re gonna drag you along, so ya better start recovering pretty quick.”

I don’t have confidence that I’m ever gonna be able to walk again, so I’ve got little hope for recovering before tonight.

Rather than stay here in this dingy bed, I decide to enter the bestiary. I don’t think I’m much at risk for people wondering where I am as long as I don’t stay too long.

Honestly, I probably shouldn’t enter it, just in case, but I really want to see Ashirra. I can’t imagine she’s too pleased with needing to abandon me half-way through the test.

My pack is nestled beside the bed I’m in, so I pull out the book, ask politely for entry, and once again find myself in a cozy inn.

Before I can react, I’m bowled over by a blur of happy hobgoblin.

“Master! You’re okay!”

I’m really not, but I’m happy that she cares.

“Yup… I’m still alive, and I passed the test. No thanks to you, of course.” I meant to tease her, but she looks absolutely crestfallen.

“You’re right. I failed you. I thought that chain would be enough… I mean, I’ve used that spell to hold a cyclops in place before, and she just broke it like it was nothing. I’m not good enough… My master needs a better partner. He’d be better off without me...”

She continues being really hard on herself in her monologue. Maybe trying to tease her was a bad idea. I know personally how powerful those chains are, so to have her calling herself “not good enough” isn’t going to fly.

“Ash, You’re the best partner I could ask for. We ran into somebody stronger than us, but that doesn’t mean you’re ‘not good enough.’ It means we need to get stronger.”

“Yes, master...”

It doesn’t seem like she took what I said to heart. Maybe it’s time to take a different approach.

“Plus, I don’t keep you around for your magic.”

She looks confused for a moment, before realizing what I mean, and donning the same lewd look I am.

A few hours pass. My condition has been worsened by our frantic fucking, and it’s reached a point where I can barely walk. It was absolutely worth it to cheer Ashirra up, but hell if this isn’t going to make the rest of the day painful.

After leaving The Bestiary, I leave the “newbie” room. Hopefully, I never have to see it again. The guild is small, so finding my way back to the front isn’t much of an issue.

“Hey-hey! There she is! How was the nap?”

I didn’t think this was directed at me, but an overly-friendly hand claps me on the shoulder, attached to a tall, well-muscled man. His hairs have just started to grey, and he’s just begun to show the signs of age.

“The newbie room's quite nice, ay? I remember the first time I woke up there. I thought I’d died!”

“Yeah, and we all hoped you had!” says a man of a similar age. He’s accompanied by a group of men who all look to be at varying places in their middle-ages. There’s an open keg. They’re obviously inebriated.

A chorus of laughs arises from them. I have a feeling these are the “vets” Bernard was talking about.

“I can’t imagine wherever you go after you die is worse than spending time with you louts!”

Once again, laughs resound from the group.

“C’mon then newbie, grab a cup and we’ll fill you in on all the important bits of how to not die.”

This is going to be a long night.