Why are you guys looking at me like I’m some kind of freak of nature? Aren’t you guys the weird ones!

(Sylvie) “…Anabelle”

Stop looking at me with those eyes full of pity!

(Anabell) “Cure”

What the hell! I’m not even hurt so why do that magic mumbo jumbo on me!

(Reindo) “Tasuke… It’s ok, we defeated all the Minotaurs.”

“HOW THE HELL ARE THOSE MINOTAURS!!!”

Aren’t Minotaurs supposed to be those huge monster things with the head of a bull, and body of a man!? How the hell do THOSE even look remotely close! They look more like someone took a cow, put some black horns on them and taped some extra tails on it before they added a dash of goat and evil as a finishing touch!

(Gerald) “We…should take Tasuke back, he’s not acting like himself.”

Before ANY of that someone needs to explain this!

“We aren’t going anywhere until someone explains what the hell is going on!”

How did I go from eating some Chinese food to revenge of the steak house! I wasn’t even eating meat!

IT WAS VEGETARIAN CHOW MEIN!!!! I swear I’ll never think about going vegetarian again after this. Every meal will have something that died in it!

“And why is everyone calling me Tasuke! I’m not even Asian!”

This doesn’t make any sense at all!

(Sylvie) “Tasu… “

The witch girl Sylvie starts staring at me with eyes full of pity, I don’t need that! Just tell me what’s going on! Is this a prank or something!? Wait, there’s only one explanation for this!

“I got it! This has to be some kind of movie set right! That explains all the special effects, magic slinging and Cosplay!”

Ha! That has to be it! They aren’t even looking at me now that I caught them red handed! There’s no way is real! Unless… it could be that! I could have just be having a dream after watching too much T.V.

Again, no that’s too crazy of an idea, the feeling of hitting those…Mino…cows was real, this is definitely a movie! Are they running out of gimmicks so they started extreme surprise shows?

(Sylvie) “Tasu…What’s a…Mooveey?”

Are you seriously going to keep playing along? It must be one of those professional things. Like the show must go on things!

(Anabelle) “Suupe cell E-Feqes?”

What is wrong with you guys… can’t you guys speak English? This is just getting dumb, how bad are you guys at ad libbing! Aren’t you guys supposed to be professionals!

(Gerald) “Reindo…”

Why are you two looking at each other and nodding… what’s going on?

“Hey… You guys need to calm down. I’ll call the cops! There’s a camera right! You guys can’t be vio”

—

(Sylvie?) “Is Tasu going to be ok Ana…”

Ugh… my head hurts…

(Anabelle?) “I…don’t know Sylvie…”

My entire body feels like I’ve been hit by a truck… A very angry evil truck that only knows how to run people over for no reason…

(Reindo?) “We can only hope it was temporary… Anabelle and the other healers couldn’t find anything wrong with him… He’s just…”

Wait… Remembering what happened I jump up from my bed.

(Sylvie and Anabelle) “Ah!”

“You Ass Hats! Did you have to knock me out! I wasn’t even… what the hell… where am I? … HEY! Stop looking at me with those eyes of pity and explain what’s going on!”

This… is going no where! This makes even less sense now!

(Sylvie) “Ana… maybe it was that thing from before we went to face the Minotaurs…?”

The thing before…?

(Anabelle) “That… it may… it would have to be an extreme case…”

Extreme…case?

(Sylvie) “H-h-how extreme? Is Tasu going to be ok!? He’s going to live right! NOOO!! Don’t die TASSSUUUUUU”

Without any warning the witch turns around and grabs me by the collar.

“Gah! Sto-puh shak-kuh!”

(Sylvie) “You said you’d marry me after we save up enough and retirrrrreeeeeee!!! You LIAR! You *hic* said *hic*”

Struggling to breath I try to let my assailant know of my impending doom.

“I…can’t….breath…..”

With a shake the witch’s eyes suddenly open wide and I’m dropped back onto the bed. Thankfully there was a pillow under my head still! Thank the maker of pillows, you are my savior!

(Slyvie) “Tasu *hick* you *hick* are banned *hick*”

…Banned from what? Breathing? Cause apparently a second ago you didn’t want me breathing!

(Slyvie) “From eating weird food… I don’t want to be a widow!”

What? Since when did this happen!? I don’t remember being engaged to this witch! And of all reasons, eating weird things!? You eat weird things!  Wait… if they think those things are minotaurs… maybe their sense of “weird” is wrong!

“Weird things? Like what?”

I’m really curious about this, maybe I should just play along and see what happens. This is way to ridiculous for this to be real, this is definitely one of those prank shows. This “weird thing” has gotta be good, maybe it’s Durian, or that Bilut stuff… or it could be Natto… Natto that!

(Sylvie) “We found it and you kept it with you all day and you can’t remember?”

Ok… It can’t be any of those… Bilut would break apart… Durian would be…just no… they would kick me out of the Inn.. Natto… that would even be worse I can’t imagine anyone carrying that around for a day…

Could it be… okra? That stuff is just… No… it couldn’t be THAT! C-c-could it be the fabled… Rocky Mountain Oysters?! Impossible!

(Anabelle) “Since you do not seem to remember Tasuke, the other day we had gone into the Forest of Poor Scholar and found an abandoned home. Inside we found several books and writing materials and a peculiar chest. Inside that chest we found a pot and several of these strange rectangular objects. They seemed to contain something inside but did not seem to be worth anything. However… you decided to take one of them along. You opened the container before we left and said it was editable and tried eating it… we tried to stop you but you had already swallowed it before we could get to you.”

Container…? Like a bento? After looking around a bit I found a bag near my bed and looked inside to find… an Instant Noodle bag… this Tasuke guy ate a bag of instant noodles…? Wait… aren’t there supposed to be… spice packets… no way! He ate those too!?

….

….

Seriously?

….

Vegan Instant Noodles… I didn’t even know that was a thing. Is this Tasuke guy also cursed by veggies!?

Wait… there’s a bigger problem now… inside this bag everything in here looks worn and used… these don’t look like props…

“Mirror”

(Anabelle and Sylvie) “Yes?”

“I need to see a mirror.”

Once I get a mirror and look at my face I don’t recognize the person reflected… A youthful appearance, probably about 16 years old with short…black hair. Being a redhead for my entire life I’m rather sure my hair color isn’t black. There’s also the other problem… My eyes are violet.

WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING!!!!