I wonder how long I’ve been in this dungeon. 

Awake, I mean.

It’s obvious over a hundred years if we include the evolution nap.

Maybe Maua would know?

She’s been very unresponsive as of late, but it's worth a shot.

Yoohoo…..

You rang?

Whoa! A wild Maua appeared!

Hardy har har. 

Sorry, sorry.  Saw an opportunity and I had to take it. 

Anyways what might you need, sweetie? I’m a bit busy here.

Well, actually I have a couple questions, but I’ll try to make it quick. I’m almost to the next zone anyways.

Thank you for your consideration. In that case, ask away.

Actually, let’s start with that. Could you tell me why you’ve been so busy lately? I don’t mean to come off as selfish or obnoxious, by asking you to constantly watch me, but it seemed like you enjoyed it? And I recall you saying something about it being one of your duties. So it seems a bit weird that you’ve been MIA as of late…

Well, I hav- *BRR* SIGNAL LOST. RECONNECTING…

…

Do you think I’m an idiot?

As if a mental link forged by a literal goddess would be as shoddy as some mobile carrier coverage?

You even said ‘SIGNAL LOST. RECONNECTING.’ in your own voice.

If you didn’t want to answer, that’s fine. It’s rude of me to pry anyways.

So I’ll just ask my other question.

Do you by any chance know how long I’ve been in this dungeon?

Hmm. It's been quite a long time. First we have that big evolution nap, that itself was a hundred years. Other than that, I think about 15 years?

Okay, that's not so- wait 15 YEARS?!

Yes, 15 years, give or take a couple of months.

Seriously? And just to clarify, how long is a year?

Seriously. A year is 12 months, which are each 30 days. A day is 24 hours, and an hour is 60 minutes. Which is 60 seconds.

Okay, okay. Even easier to remember than the other world... But, 15 years?! 

Think about it objectively. First, let's look at your size. You are what, four maybe five inches long? 

Yes. I’m a pipsqueak, even in comparison to my already small race. Gee, thanks. It wasn't already painfully obvious... you don’t have to rub it in.

I’m not, I’m not, I swear.  Just stay with me for a little bit. Now, race…you’re a slug. Literally one of the symbols of slowness…

Hmm. Hmm. True enough. Even though my dexterity seems high…

And your perception of time is pretty skewered. Even if you have night vision, it's not like you get the sun in the sky.

Ugh. I guess you’re right. 

Honestly, you should be proud of yourself. I know I sure am. This dungeon is huge, it would take a lot of time for a human-sized being to navigate around it. And you have to constantly stop and fight or complete some task. It’s actually amazing that you’ve progressed so far so quickly.

Hmm. That does make me feel better.

Great. Now as much as I’d love to stay, something urgent just came up. See ya later, cutie.

C-cutie? I guess I let it slide this time. I don’t know if gods can get hurt but, you better stay safe or I’ll get angry. You hear me, Lettuce for Brains?!

To think my friends are still alive after at least 115 years. That’s inferring that they reincarnated at the same time as me… which seems highly unlikely. Unless humans live longer here, wouldn't it be safe to assume they’re not humans? I mean I’m not so it’s definitely a possibility.

Well, I can think about that later.

I’ve arrived at the Twilight Zone. The second to last set of levels.

Like usual, there’s the standard magic door.

I quickly open it up and move into the passageway.

Waiting to greet me was a… human?

Wait, how?

I know that the hydrostatic pressure is significantly lower than it was in the other zones. So it is feasible for a human to be able to travel down this far.

But last time I checked, humans don’t have gills. And this guy has no gear to help him with breath…interesting…

Wait. I’ve seen this guy somewhere before. But where….

“Do you regret it?” he asked, not even attempting to hide the malice in his voice.

A tall and extremely lanky man. About 195 centimeters tall (6’5) and about 68 kilograms (150 pounds). Dirty blonde hair and one brown eye and one blue.

Aha!

This guy is Fredan Mortaw. An important politician for the opposing powers in the time leading up to World War V.  And more importantly-

“It’s all your fault!” he shouted at me, full of rage.

More importantly, my first assassination target.  After completing my hellish training, the folks at CRAP want to see what I was capable of.  It so happens that Mr. Mortaw here was spreading propaganda against my country and almost inciting a war.

Seeing a golden opportunity, the agency sent me out to silence the fellow.

He was getting bolder and bolder with each passing day, so my chance to kill him came up rather quickly.

I caught him giving a speech at a rally out in the open at some sort of manmade park.

I put two in between his eyebrows from my perch on a rooftop two miles away.

Now to answer his question and accusation.

For some time, I harbored the feeling of regret. The war kickstarted with his assassination. It would go down in history as the bloodiest war ever.  Howe-

“If you truly regret, shouldn’t you attone with your worthless life at the very least?”

Ha! You wish. Now, if you’d kindly let me finish, I’ll explain myself. At first, I regretted killing you because it seemed I made the war happen. 

“Yes, yes! You’re responsible for the deaths of countless innocent people!” he bellowed.

That’s what I thought at first. However, just looking at it logically, the reason I was sent to kill you was because you were about to start one yourself.

“…”

Now, I won’t deny the amount of blood I have on my hands. I don’t regret any of that.

The fact is, I didn’t start the war, I might have accelerated it, but it was inevitable. What I hold remorse for is simple.

“You don't care about all the people you kill? What a monster!”  Fredan crowed.

Hmm. I can't say you’re wrong. Snail, I even have a body that matches now. And for that I’m truly grateful.

“Grateful?” he asked, with some fear creeping into his voice.

Mhm. Grateful indeed. You see, after a couple months into the war, I did a bit of research on you. It turns out…you were an absolute scumbag. 

To think you’d even do that to children. Quite the hypocrite we have here.

Honestly, you make my stomach twist, and I’ve killed more people than I can count. So you see, my regret is giving you such an easy death. But now I have a second chance!

I proceeded to fire a crystal at him. Said crystal embedded itself in his forehead.

The liquid seeped into the opening and began to slowly devour his flesh. The mystery liquid was none other than my acid.

Using my knowledge of fatal points and organs, I deliberately made the acid avoid them, making the pain last as long as possible. 

After an hour or two, the man passed away and his body dissipated leaving an angelfish carp in its place.

Hmm, so it seems that the deck of cards was right, looks like its angelfish on these levels. They seem to look at memories and makes illusions based off of them. Interesting...

BING!

950 Experience points earned.

Well, either way, that was very satisfying.

Lulla

Haah. Seems like my authors notes always seem to contain an apology of some sort... But I'm back. Sorry for the abrupt hiatus. So let me tell y'all a fun fact... you know how our main character died from heart complications? Well, that's kind of self-insert? So yeah, I have a weak heart myself, and it's been acting up a bit lately... nothing to worry about, but unfortunately getting chapters out hasn't been my main priority. But it's all good now, and I fully intend on getting out chapters for the weeks I missed. So look forward to a chapter in a couple of days!