A dragon.

A flipping dragon.

Midnight black with eyes that looked like they were made of solid gold. And it was huge, its head alone was the size of a large man laying flat. Golden horns adorned the head, making one of the most majestic but terrifying crowns I’ve ever seen.

“Greetings little one. I am Tiamat, the master of this dungeon and the former Grand Duchess of the Empire of Kur.” the dragon declared.

It just had to be a dragon, huh? If it wasn’t already bad enough with those people, they just had to throw a dragon into the mix. Was I set up from the beginning? Was there even a chance of me getting out of here?

“Fret not. I apologize for causing you to think such disparities.” Tiamat soothed.

Kn’Ave, Meister, Anassa, Sarkin. Leave us. You’re making them nervous.” she commanded.

No…You’re making me nervous, Tiamat-san.

“Yes, Your Highness.” they replied, and disappeared into thin air…no thin water.

Wait, so you’re not going to kill me?

“Indeed. This was all part of a security protocol.” she said.

…Security protocol? Might I ask what for? You and your servants seem plenty strong to me.

“Hmm? I have no qualms explaining but I now have quite a few questions for you, little one.” the dragon stated.

I will answer them all to the best of my ability, m’lady.

“Great. I’ll ask after I explain the dungeon. First let me ask, do you know the reason that beings challenge this dungeon?” Tiamat asked.

No ma’am, I can’t say I do.

“What, really? In that case, allow me to explain. This is the Tiamatian Dungeon named after yours truly. Five layers and a hundred floors. There’s actually two reasons why people attempt to conquer this dungeon. One being my blessing, as it grants the user a title. The other one is actually one of the benefits of possessing the blessing. It allows a conqueror to found or rule a country with significantly less opposition than they would otherwise, through the existence of said blessing.”

Ah, that seems pretty important.

“Indeed, as the holder of such a precious commodity, I found myself needing to make sure that it would only be given to those who deserve it. So I set up the dungeon obviously to do so. Every obstacle is either a literal or metaphorical test on the challenger. Starting from the very beginning, the pressure at the entrance is akin to the pressure of ruling a country.” she explained.

“Next,” Tiamat continued “Is the Hadal Zone, headed by the avatar of my lovely Kna’Ve. The test on this one is simple. You have to be at least competent enough to survive in a fight, as such we seek to gauge that.”

That makes sense.

“Hmm. I guess I should explain avatars since it’ll be convenient to do so now. It’s an ability that comes from the title Tiamatian Face Card. It allows my servants to create a lesser version of them to take their place as the boss of their zone. This mini boss doesn’t have any real connection to the creator, as they aren’t much more than a bundle of energy,hence the surprise we felt seeing you. Also, the avatar adjusts its stats to something that the user might have a chance against. If they’re smart and cautious.”

If they’re smart and cautious?

“Indeed. You see, the dungeon actually warps the status of the challenger, causing it to show higher stats than it actually has.” She explained.

What.

The.

Snail.

Err…Tiamat-sama, would you know how big the distortion is, by any chance?

“Hmm? A couple of danger ranks.” she stated. 

That probably means I’m still pretty weak, just great. That's amazing news!  Oh whoops.

Oh sorry, that was a bit thought provoking. Please continue.

“Ufufu..I’m aware. It’s fine…anyways. Next would be the casino floors headed by my beautiful Anassa, or her avatar rather. Obviously with casinos comes luck. As a ruler you have to be able to use the fortunes that come your way, but also be able to operate when nothing is going your way. Also, riddles are fun.” Tiamat said.

Oh, so that’s why I got rewarded when I won but had to fight when I lost?

“Precisely. After that is the Midnight Zone. Covered by that lazy bum Sarkin. As a ruler you need to be able to make decisions. You need to make the best decision you can make based on the information you have.”

Pretty self-explanatory. 

“Indeed, indeed! I thought so as well. Then, there’s the Twilight Zone. Monitored by the avatar of that old geezer Meister. By being a decisive leader, you’re bound to regret a decision, regardless of the outcome. So we decided to test the challenger’s ability to preserve through regret.” 

Wow, you really thought this through.

“Yes… I did.” She sighed. “Which brings me to the final zone. The Sunlight Zone, which I look over personally. You’re probably wondering why all the levels are empty, aren’t you?”

Well, yes, it definitely crossed my mind.

“Well that would have to do with the hole in the tunnel right before the door on this final level.”

There was a hole?

“Yes. Haah, originally I had these levels set as a combination of all of the previous four zones. The first two experienced that. However after they became famous, some super smart idiot thought of skipping all of the hardship and decided to drill a hole straight into the twentieth floor in the final zone. Effectively skipping everything else. So I decided I would give the real challengers a break.” 

I would’ve loved to enjoy that, but I was too worried something would pop out on me. But how did you distinguish between real challengers and fake ones?

“I devised another test. With the help of my servants, I figured out a way to weed out the fakers. Anyone who immediately attacks them upon entering the room, is annihilated. Obviously, anyone who went through the dungeon would be wary and notice the similarities.” Tiamat said.

I can definitely attest to that.

“Usually we would prompt anyone who didn’t attack instantly to try to name the four beings. But you..ufufu. You did it yourself.” she giggled.

Ehehe…whoops.

“I thought I would just bless anyone who might past the final test from the shadows, but you were just too entertaining. Apologies for the information dump, I hope it wasn’t too boring.” Tiamat smiled.

No, not at all thank you!

Well now, little one.” she started.

*POOF*

A cloud engulfed her head and a bewitching woman walked out. 

She walked towards me and knelt down, scooping me into her hands.

She brought me close to her face, where I could see her golden eyes.

“It’s about time you answer my questions.” Tiamat beamed. “How about we start with how the snail you ended up here.”

*°*

“Oh so you were reincarnated. I guessed as much.” she said.

Really? How?

“You think a normal slug could do this?” she asked, with a sly smile.

Oh. Well..no.

“So who brought you?”

Who brought me?

“Yes, who brought your soul over? Who helped you reincarnate?” she interrogated.

Oh. Maua, the coconut head.That dandelion liar. That idiot. Grr.

“M-m-maua? Maua the Reaper?” she stuttered, face paled. “Green leafy hair, red eyes, a face tattoo on her left cheek? That Maua?”

Hmm? Yes, that sounds like her.

“Wow, you’re something special. Calling that monster such words. But that begs the question why?”

Apparently we were lovers in a past life?

“EH? Really? You must’ve been important. What was your name, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Err…it was Joziah Banks, Tiamat-sama.

“Joziah Banks, you say?” she asked, a visible shine in her eyes. “ Oh, no need to be so formal. Call me Auntie Tia.”

Eh? Isn’t this all kind of Well okay.

“I think I’ve held you up long enough. I know you're itching to get out of here. This isn’t goodbye though, my little nibling. I’ll be seeing you again soon rather than later.”

Nibling?

“Non-binary term for nephew or niece.”

Ah, I like it.

“Me too. Now take this blessing and get the snail out of here!” she shouted.

BING!

Bye Auntie Tia!

Lulla

Hmm. Met a dragon, and acquired a family member check. And what’s up with Maua’s seemingly dark past? What about Tiamat’s abrupt mood switch? Will Slug-chan journey actually begin? Find out next time on SLUG SAGA Z! Oops wrong series.