There was no sun to provide light now, so the forest was, naturally, dark. That said, I could see just enough. And of course, I wasn’t afraid of this darkness—that forest was too small for any monsters to be lingering in there. Just kidding.
No, but seriously, for some reason I had forgotten that the forest was going to be dark at this time. It wasn’t a disadvantage, though. Maybe our silhouettes being obscured would help me gather the courage.
“Fufu. I have to commend you, human.”
“Er… Lumiya?”
I heard her voice, but I couldn’t see her. Confused, I quickly looked around, but I didn’t realize that I was doing it absentmindedly.
“I’m here.”
A weak light appeared in front of me—I noticed her figure leaning against a tree. At that moment, my heart skipped a beat. In a split second, I felt power leaving my body. All my limbs became limp.
Imagining scenarios in my head might have been easy, but when it came to the real deal, I wasn’t so confident anymore.
“So, what do you wish to talk about?”
Her voice was calm and clear—she suspected nothing. In fact, she sounded surprisingly happy. Well, it was good, but it was unusual for her.
“Err…”
That’s right… what did I want to talk about? Ah, it was about my feelings for her. But… what was it about, again? Where should I begin?
Lumiya… no, Himawari. It was so confusing…
She wanted me to call her Lumiya, but my words now would certainly be directed to Himawari.
“Uh…”
No. It was happening again. I lost all my strength. I just couldn’t move my mouth anymore. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say anything.
And yet… she stood there patiently. I couldn’t see her face clearly, but I was certain that there was nothing unusual on it. Her long, blonde hair was there. The eyepatch was in place on her left eye as well. Her expression was silent and calm.
“L-Lumiya…”
I was sure. She was the girl I liked.
“Human”, she shortly responded as usual to my voice brimming with irresolution.
What would happen if I called her…?
“H… H-Himawari…”
“…!”
I wasn’t able to see her reaction, but she sounded caught off guard—not only was my view muddied by the darkness, but I wasn’t even looking at her in the first place. I simply couldn’t bring myself to.
Did I make her mad? I didn’t want to… What had I done now…?
When I first asked her for name, she didn’t tell me the real one, but the one she had made up. It was Lumiya. It sounded odd at first, but I stopped noticing it soon. I just believed that was her name—Nakamura Lumiya.
In a way, this name had more meaning than Himawari. After all, I doubted that anyone besides us knew it, which made it more… personal. I was the sole person in the world that called her that.
But… there was something wrong with it. No matter how you looked at it, it was a lie. Her real name was Himawari, and that’s how I should have been calling her from the beginning. Other people called her Nakamura either way, so it was personal enough.
I didn’t know anymore. I didn’t hate her peculiar act—in fact, I liked it. Not that I would be mad if she ditched it—after all, it would be only better for her. But I wouldn’t be mad if she kept acting like that either.
Come to think of it, she never called my real name. It was always Human and Human, so I stopped noticing at some point. Of course, I didn’t mind it.
“N-no…! Sorry, Lumiya.”
“…” she mumbled. She wasn’t so confident anymore…
The forest was dark. Everyone was having fun around the fireplace, while I was stressing myself out away from them. At least I didn’t have to worry about being seen or heard.
That atmosphere certainly was unique. Was it for good? Probably…
“Uh… Lumi… Lumiya, do you remember how we first met…?”
“Uh-huh…”
“It took me some time to find you, right…”
On that day, our bodies touched. It was such a relevant event that I remembered it in detail to this day. I was so lucky to bump into her there… Setting aside getting to know her, she simply saved me back then. If it wasn’t for her, I have no idea how it would have turned out.
“I wasn’t… planning on getting involved with a human.”
When we first met, she said an odd thing to me. She asked me to become her “servant”, or whatever was covered by this word.
But, when I found her on the rooftop about a week later, she was hesitant. In fact, she spoke almost no word. Thinking back to it… I was such an idiot. I couldn’t even speak to her properly.
Come to think of it, it’d been about half a year since we met. We had progressed a lot, hadn’t we?
I was so glad that I met her… but it wasn’t what I was supposed to be thinking about right now. I still had to tell her all those embarrassing things.
“Err… L-Lumiya…”
“…”
And what I was supposed to say now?
“…”
No, really, what? I had to somehow begin, right? But how?
“Err...”
My vision became blurry. I couldn’t open my mouth or move my legs. The girl in front of me expected nothing, which was why I was so hesitant before saying it.
“Human…? Are you okay?” she noticed that something was wrong with me.
“Y-yes…”
“You’re trembling. Were you attacked? Is someone blackmailing you?”
“N-no… It’s not that…”
Weren’t her suggestions over-the-top? Either way, I knew that I wasn’t going to achieve anything by standing there anxiously in silence.
“D-did something happen? You can… tell me…” she offered, slightly embarrassed. I wasn’t expecting that of her… but her words did calm me down a bit.
“It’s… about you, Lumiya…”
“M-me?” she sounded surprised.
“Yeah… that’s why I called you here…”
I had to stop beating around the bush at some point. Her face that I couldn’t see well in the darkness was staring back at me. Over the chilling rustle of trees, I could hear numerous voices in the distance of people having fun around the fireplace.
“…”
Should I just say it?
But… what if she ran away?
Wasn’t it a bit too early?
No, why was I hesitating now? I’d been thinking about it for a few months now, it was the time.
“Err… Lumiya… may I ask you of something first?”
“Y-yes?”
“Please… don’t suddenly run away…”
Didn’t it sound suspicious? I doubted she would listen if my words made her want to run away… but, maybe?
“A-acknowledged.”
“Er… so… it’s like, those few months I spent with you have been so much fun. I’ve never had anyone to hang out with, so I was so happy that I became friends with you…”
“…” I couldn’t see if she was blushing, but I heard her uttering a silent, meaningless sound.
“That’s why I… I want to thank you. I had to be so much of a pain to you… being so cowardly and indecisive.”
“N-no. It’s not like that… You were a very good servant… and that’s what matters”, she interjected in a low voice to disagree.
“R-really? That’s good…”
It was going quite smoothly so far, so I continued. Nevertheless, I was still embarrassed, and I doubted I could bring myself to say the most important thing now.
“I’m okay with your odd act… actually, I feel like you understand me more than anyone ever did, despite this. That’s funny…”
“H-human…” she sounded shy and flattered.
She hid her face using her hand and looked at the ground. Her feet were unsteadily scuffing against the grass, showing her uneasiness.
“But… there is something I have to tell you…”
That’s where the most requiring, embarrassing part began.
In the forest, there was nobody but us. Nothing could possibly interrupt us, since everyone was busy at the fireplace. It wasn’t like anyone could even accidentally spot us there—I doubted anyone would even think about entering this forest right now. It was dark, and it wasn’t like there was anything interesting inside. We couldn’t be spotted from outside as well, and nobody would be looking for us in particular.
“Y-yes?”
That’s why all that could go wrong was her reaction. But I had to take a risk.
“Lumi… No…”
Again, it felt wrong to me. Considering what I was going to say, I felt like using her made-up name would be a mistake. That’s why I had to call her Himawari. I know, it was embarrassing for both of us… but otherwise, it wasn’t serious enough.
“H-Himawari.”
I did it again. Instead of calling her that from the beginning, I had to change my mind and make the situation awkward twice. That’s a perfect example of my indecisiveness being to my disadvantage.
“I’m sorry, but… I don’t think calling you Lumiya is a good idea now.”
“N-no, that’s okay…” she showed me her understanding.
•
At that moment, everything became silent. I could no longer hear the lively sounds of people partying at the fireplace. Neither could I feel the relaxing rustle of wind.
All that was left was her, the peculiar girl standing in front of me. Somehow, her face became more visible to me, even though no light had appeared.
It was just as if she emanated with warmth. Everything about her was familiar to me. The eyepatch on her left eye—for a moment, instead of a barrier, it became like a door protecting a cozy home from the deathly blizzard outside.
Her right eye returned my gaze with surprise and uncertainty. Her ever so slightly opened mouth formed an expression of quiet anticipation on her face.
It was just like we were moved to another world, where only I and she existed. It was the exact same way I felt like each time I looked at her.
Because she was one of a kind. Meeting her was a miracle… I never thought I would be so lucky.
Just before I was going to confess, I felt strangely relaxed. It was just like most of my worries disappeared. I understood that I didn’t have to be afraid of her.
Staring right into her eyes was difficult, but I tried to keep looking at her face.
“Ever since you saved me on the staircase, there was something about you that intrigued me. That’s why I went looking after you. It took me a lot… you should remember it as well. Just how embarrassed we were…”
I managed to begin without stuttering that much. My voice was stable, and she showed no strange reaction.
“Then, I let go of you… I thought that I had given up, but I couldn’t forget about you. That’s why I went after you again, after a month. And I found you again.”
Her mouth opened slightly in wonder.
“And then… you made me your servant, right? It was also on your birthday. I will never forget that day…”
“…”
“And… that’s when my life changed. It used to be mundane, but… you made it colorful.”
“…!” at that moment, she probably started realizing what I was aiming for, as she opened her eye wide and uttered a short, surprised sound.
“This summer break was so much fun. It was only thanks to you. We went to a concert and to the beach, do you remember? We have also done homework together… kinda. Summer has never been so much fun to me...”
“…”
“That’s when I realized something… it was about you. It was my first time, so I gave it a lot of thought, but now I’m sure…”
She didn’t utter a word, but her mouth was wide open, and her gaze was directed somewhere behind me due to embarrassment. Overall, it was quite an adorable expression.
“Himawari, I…”
It was that moment. The word that I thought would never leave my mouth, that I heard only on TV, I was going to say it now.
“I…”
But something suddenly happened. That odd relaxation disappeared. The forest became dark again, and the cheerful sounds reached my ears again. I realized that my mouth wouldn’t move at all.
I… couldn’t say it after all.
…
Why?
Everything was going so smoothly, so why? I had built up the mood, we were in a place where nothing could interrupt us, so why?
The girl stood patiently and waited for me to continue. She was not only befuddled, but also shocked. Maybe even scared. It was all my fault. I could keep it short, yet I decided to prolong it so much. In the end, I still couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Without a doubt, she knew what I was going to say. She didn’t look like she was going to make fun of me at all—in fact, she was just as nervous as me. So why?
Only two words. There were only two short words I had to say, and everything would be over. The result could be either a success or failure, but nonetheless, it would be the end.
Of course, I couldn’t say it. Why had I ever thought that I could? Even normal people had a problem with it, let alone such a coward like me. In the end, I failed, as usual. To no surprise, I was useless.
“…”
Startling me, something grazed my hand. It was dark and my gaze was directed at the ground in disappointment, so I couldn’t see it. Soon, I realized that there was only one possibility—it was that girl’s finger that touched me for a second.
“…!”
It prompted me to look up. Soon, I spotted it. It was a signal from her… a small support from her, but it meant a lot to me.
She said no word. All she showed me was a tiny, awkward smile on her face—she just wanted me to look at it. I knew it took her a lot to show it, so I was really thankful for it.
But now, I felt encouraged. Would it be enough? I tried once more.
“I…”
Inside, I struggled with the cowardly side of myself. I just had to say this one word, loud and clear, and everything would be over.
One.
“I lo…”
Good! I almost said it. I felt like dying, but I was halfway there. I struggled with breathing, I struggled with seeing, my heart was about to jump out, but maybe… for the first time in my life, I would succeed in something…!
“ve you…”
What was this feeling? It was horrible and amazing at the same time.
I said it, but it wasn’t satisfying. Before anything happened, I had to repeat it. I took a breath in, and…
“Himawari, I… I love you…! Please… go out with me…!”
And so, hell froze over. I said it. I actually said it… of course I still couldn’t believe it. Especially that no reaction came from her. I could hear people from the fireplace, but they didn’t matter to me. All that mattered was the girl in front of me.
She still stood there. The smile she showed me before… it wasn’t there anymore. Instead, her expression was surprised, at a loss of words.
Slowly, she proceeded to direct her head down. Perhaps it was so that I couldn’t see whatever was happening on her face now.
“…”
I was shocked. Something suddenly appeared in my arms… No, it wasn’t something.
A strange warmth embraced my body. A kind of presence I hadn’t felt for years, so that I had long forgotten how good it felt…
It was the complete opposite of loneliness. It was so warm, so pleasant… I didn’t want it to stop. It was my reward for all this stress I had put myself through until now.
Because it was the peculiar girl embracing me. But at that moment, she wasn’t peculiar at all.
I had said it… that I loved her. It was her response… so, it was positive? She hadn’t run away, but gave me a hug…
It was… a success…?
She… was alright with me…?
“…” she sobbed, clinging to my clothes.
I felt like crying too. My eyes teared up, but they were tears of happiness. Undoubtedly, I had never been as happy as now.
“H-human…” she said to me not only through her tears, but also through my clothes. I was too bewildered to mind it, though, so I just listened to her voice. Even in that situation, she called me human. I bet she had forgotten my name again.
Well, I didn’t mind. Maybe it was actually for the better?
“It… it was so normal. Fufu”, her voice overflowed with glee.
Soon, she let go of me. Again, I became able to see her figure in front of me, but she was covering her cast down face using her hand.
“B-b-b-b-but… yes.”
Having backed down, she slowly proceeded to lift her head up again. I saw it shortly… her face was filled with tears, but her mouth displayed a small, shy, although true smile. She was truly happy.
“I… I love you too… human…” slowly and embarrassed, she said while she covered her eyepatch with a hand.
Her words left me out of breath. I had been so anxious before her, but it turned out that… she felt the exact same thing all this time. I was right, we were actually the same.
“K-kuku. But I shall keep calling you human. And you… y-you may call me Himawari if you want…”
“H-Himawari.”
“Y-yes…!”
“Lumiya.”
“I’m listening to you, human. Fufu.”
“Himawari is cuter, I think…”
“L-like I said, I don’t mind it…”
“Thanks.”
Remember when I said that the best day of my life so far was when I went to the beach with her? I could easily say that it wasn’t anymore. Now, it was the day of the confession I had been preparing to for a few months and fortunately, ended up a success.
Because I had never felt so happy before. I just felt like living. Jumping, dancing…
About dancing… the fireplace dance was still in progress. I could still hear joyful noises from there. What if…
“I-I won’t engage in this dance of commoners. Unless you insist… b-but I don’t recommend it. It can possibly reveal our… relationship…” she said, just as if she had read my mind.
Well, she was right. Even if we weren’t that anxious between each other anymore, I still didn’t want to be spotted with her by my classmates. Some rumors could arise, especially that she was somewhat infamous.
“So, am I still your servant…?”
“W-we may be on equal terms now. But you can think of a new title if you want.”
“Huh… I’ll pass, I guess. Just call me human”, I took a liking to it, for some reason.
“Acknowledged.”
And thus, the day came to an end. I didn’t have to be so nervous before confessing. I knew that she wouldn’t refuse—after all, I had spent some time with her and got to know her quite well. And nothing unexpected happened. That girl was truly something else. Even though she seemed detached from the society, she was the best fit for me.
Today, I got a girlfriend.
Was it a dream or something?
No. It was all real.
I couldn’t believe it… but it was real.
Fufu!
