Joan readied herself, taking a slow, deep breath. A part of her almost wanted to believe she was wrong, that those things chasing the pair weren’t shades.
But every time the light hit them just right they disappeared, fading away until once more they were in the shadows. The sinking sun on the horizon more than happy to give them plenty of shadows to work with. Ifrit was coming closer and judging by the look of fear on her face, she was all too aware of what danger was chasing her.
At least Joan knew how to deal with these. As elementals went, they were fairly minor. She glanced back and saw some of the men bringing torches down. Good, at least they were listening to her. Though, frankly, she wasn’t sure how much use they’d be other than that. Most of the ‘guards’ in the keep were really just people from the village who helped maintain the grounds. There wasn’t much expectation of any assault on the keep, nor any tactical reason to do so. If these were just a few bandits they’d likely be fine. But against creatures like this she doubted they’d be able to do much more than distract them. Still, against shades the light and distractions they offered could be plenty.
“Light as many torches as possible,” Joan said. “No shadows, they can only move through those.”
“What are those things?” one of the guards asked.
Joan just gave a sigh. What did she just say? “Shades. They’re shades. Shadow walkers. Torches! Light them! NOW!” she ordered.
Another point to their credit, they did. Despite herself she couldn’t help being thankful that even if they likely weren’t prepared for whatever threat was on its way, they at least seemed willing to listen to her. Within a few moments the courtyard was filled with lit torches. “Good. Stay here, keep everything lit. So long as there’s too much light here, they won’t come through the gate.” She walked towards the gate and stared at the approaching girl. Three shades. She could handle that. Probably. She stroked a finger along Guardian Nova’s hilt.
“My lady! You can’t mean to fight them, they--”
“They’re summoned creatures,” Joan said. “I’ll send them back where they came from. Relax, I’ve got plenty of advantages over them.” Though she honestly wished she’d had a few more. Her armor and throwing knives were back up in her room. She’d gotten sloppy. Let herself relax. If her armor was here, she could have ended this in a second. The light elemental in the belt would have been amazing as well.
The pounding of hooves told her that, sadly, there was no time for that. “P-please--” Ifrit called out.
“Get inside!” Joan yelled at her, motioning back behind herself.
Maybe she just really had her bossy voice down today, because Ifrit just did as she was told. The three creatures in pursuit skidded to a stop, however. They could see all the light behind her. At first glance they looked like horse and rider. Except the closer one looked the more it became apparent that they weren’t each two creatures, instead a single, shadowy creature. Having taken on the form of their prey, adapting to the shape of a rider. Now they were shifting, shrinking down to match her.
Joan couldn’t help but give a little giggle. Last time she’d had a fight like this it had been a lot more intimidating, an elemental of fire. Even if they had her outnumbered, she knew exactly how to handle this. Besides, it would only be two in a moment. “Are you three done?” she asked before running at them.
She thrust her sword and stabbed the first one in the stomach. It merely swung its sword back at her, not reacting much to the stab. After all, a normal blade couldn’t hurt a shade. She knew it and the shade knew it.
She put her left palm against the flat of the blade and a moment later it erupted with dazzling light. The shade had only a moment to grasp its mistake before it disappeared in the sudden radiance. The light dimmed a moment later, but that was one down. More importantly, her sword was now glowing. Not bright enough to banish one of the creatures on its own, but at least enough they were moving back away from her.
Still, Joan really wished she had access to Searle’s magic now. If he’d done that spell he’d have likely dispelled all three of them in a single blow, without having to try stabbing one of them first. That trick likely wouldn’t catch them by surprise a second time. She pointed the tip of the blade towards the other two. “Come on, we both know how this is going to end. You’re going to fight. You’re going to lose. I’m going to get yelled at for taking risks. We’re all going to move on with our lives. Well?”
Still, the shades didn’t move towards her. Instead, they looked past her to the keep.
“I know, I know,” Joan said with a sigh. “Let me guess. You were given some kind of command like ‘Bring her back to me’ or ‘Don’t stop until he’s dead’ or ‘Don’t let her escape even if it costs you your lives’, right? But you can’t get in there, not while the torches are up. And they won’t go out unless you manage to take me down. So--”
That did it. One of them lifted their sword and rushed at her. She stepped to their left and deflected their strike with her own. She activated the enchantment on her boots, giving her a rapid burst of speed for a moment, which she used to kick the shade’s foot out from under it when she passed. She lifted her sword to strike back down at their prone form. However, out of the corner of her eye she saw movement and she barely leaped back in time to avoid a cut from the other shade.
Oh, that wasn’t good. Joan felt a moment of apprehension when she realized that the shades were now between her and the gate. She aimed the tip of her sword at the two of them, the first shade reforming to its feet. She hated how they did that. It couldn’t just get to its feet like a normal abomination, no, it had to shapeshift its entire body to a standing position.
They both charged her this time. She deflected the first blow, moving around to its right this time. However, the second one was there, swinging its blade from below. Joan leaped to their right, dropping into a roll and springing back to her feet and turning to face them.
Joan hoped it would buy her some space, but they were already on her. One coming from the left, one from the right. She supposed not having an actual physical form allowed them to be a lot faster than she’d hoped. She moved to her right this time, parrying a downward strike from the shade on her left, forcing that shade between her and the second. So long as she could--
The one she was using as a shield shifted and the other shade came THROUGH it. Their bodies molding together for a moment as the second struck at her through the body of the first, the first holding her sword back. Joan had only a moment to watch the blade coming at her and be ever so thankful that she still had the amulet from Korgron and Chase. She didn’t know where it was going to teleport her once she got stabbed, but she hoped she could get back to the--
Suddenly there was light. A torch flew through the air, blazing brightly, and causing the shades to pull back for a moment. A grin formed on Joan’s lips and she brought Guardian Nova up the moment the shade’s blade pulled away. She cleaved through the flames of the torch and a moment later her own sword was enveloped in red flames which quickly shifted to blue.
Her next swing cleaved through both of them, their movements slowed by their combined form, and blue flames enveloped them. Then there was nothing but ash. She flicked her blade and the flames died away.
Joan made a mental note to tell Vivian to give whoever had thrown that torch a nice bonus of some kind. They obviously… that thought died quickly in her mind when she looked towards the gate and saw who threw it. Ifrit. The girl looked exhausted, scared and was panting, but she had a second torch in her hands and looked ready to throw it at any moment. “You… you killed them,” Ifrit said.
“Dispelled them,” Joan said. “They won’t be bothering us again, they’re back where ever they came from.”
“W-what? They’re going to come BACK?” Ifrit asked.
“Those ones? I doubt it,” Joan said. “Whoever summoned them will likely get some other shades next time they summon them. Mind telling us what that was about?”
“I-I need to speak with the Chosen,” Ifrit said. “Francis needs help, he’s wounded.” She then turned and ran back towards her horse, towards Francis.
Joan would have said more, but even from here she could see that Francis wasn’t moving. Whatever answers she wanted would have to wait.
She still couldn’t believe she was saving Francis of all people. After all the times he’d tried to kill and defame her, it felt so incredibly weird. Then again, she supposed normal lives that made sense were for other people. A normal life would probably bore her anyway.
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Thx for the chap.
Will never understand why she don't use fire instant when she have one who can burn literally anything, even fire lol
Nicely done Joan! I like the tone here in this less end of the world arc.
Thanks for the chapter
uh. Wow. That was. Well I just read 540,000 words in 4 days. Wow.
Riveting
An intense experience
A lot of other things I could say really.
I liked it a lot... but I like it so much that I can't help but be a little critical.
Above all there are a lot of loose ends remaining. It feels like there were plenty of chapters, conflicts, and portions of the story that weren't important to the plot. This is true to life, its very rare for anyone's life events to make cohesive sense... but realism doesn't necessarily make a story better. I know its still in progress and there are things in the work I don't understand, but I genuinely believe I've forgotten more loose ends than were ever intended to be made.
Why is the king young? Why is Isla alive? Why is Thal-whatever married this time? What did Thal-whatever mean when he said he had too many promises? How come Isla's trophy husband can form a mental link with ̶S̶3̶R̶L̶ Searle after only being given a description of him but can't connect to Chase, or Hardwin, without meeting them. How far away is anything from anything else? What lands border what? Why was Prince Gertruda-or-whatever holding back against the Hero when they fought? How does that affect his character and how important he is to the story (since he hasn't shown up again)? Why was bow girl using a pseudonym?
SOME of these questions I feel I vaguely understand the answer to, but its never spelled out to the reader with certainty.
In a way it seems like books focus on one of the chosen at a time, but aside from Searle we never really get closure for the reasons they turned on the hero. Just the vague impression that Joan thinks its her fault for mistreating them one way or another. I understand that Joan is supposed to have been too arrogant or too poor of a friend or too f*cked up inside to see what had eaten at her friend to the point they betrayed her. She can't remember why because she never knew. We've had Joan interact with divine entities and tools (Fates, Threads) who could have given her that information, but the opportunity wasn't used to tie things up.
Maybe there really is a plan for every one of the things I mentioned, maybe there really is a plan for all the things I didn't mention. But... the story spends a lot of time on plot points that never get fully tied up resulting in them reappearing repeatedly causing a lot of bloat to an otherwise really good story.
I'm certain I'm making an ass of myself by being a critic. I really did love the story, and I appreciate the free entertainment. However, the story so far could have been 50,000 words lighter and, I think, more satisfying if more of the plot points were wrapped up with finality rather than open-endedness.
Anyway. Good story. I'm a little disappointed because I think it was close to being a fantastic story. I'll probably keep checking on it to see what does and doesn't get wrapped up.
Cheers.
It's not done, this chapter was uploaded today, you're reading the new chapter 9 which is being written after the story was completed.
@St3lla-MaR1s I'm aware.
My initial comment is somewhat unfair in its tone
Here are the things I think the story did well:
The perspective is incredibly consistent. Joan never knows more than what she sees. I find that sticking to a single perspective is very hard for many authors, and they often make exceptions, such as when the main character is thrown in jail for two weeks. I prefer the single perspective this story employs much better. There are exceptions made, but only when the chosen view the hero's memory through the hero's perspective, which is essentially an extension of Joan's perspective, so it's acceptable.
Power scaling is consistent throughout. Joan starts as roughly the 60th percentile of fighters in the first book and progresses to the 80th-90th percentile by the end. The Chosen (post weapons) and the enemies they face are in the 99.999th percentile. Maybe thats not the right way to put it, but it felt good. I knew where people stood.
The story maintains good suspense through Joan's own experience of desperation.
Some of the character conflicts are quite well-executed. The conversation between Joan and Korgron about demon conversion, conflict between Hardwin and ... well Hardwin fought with everyone lol. The initial conflict between Joan and Hardwin in the first book were particularly compelling. The tension between Joan and the royal family after the werewolf incident was also engaging, even if it didn't reach a satisfactory resolution.
The theme of Demonkin racism was intriguing.
The separation of the races was interesting, with the three races united against the fourth.
The whole "divine realm" thing was amazing. It was continuously well used for new and exciting reasons. For powerups, for combat, for information. All super well done, while maintaining this unsettling aura. The divine realm sections were a highlight for me, as they were purposeful and suspenseful throughout.
I appreciated how the gods were handled. While we eventually got closure on them when the Chosen tapped into their power, there were many possibilities that kept the reader guessing about the true nature of the world without Joan dwelling on them excessively. This sense of closure was very well done.
Searle was a well-developed character. Everything about him was satisfying: the reason he was overlooked, why he was originally weak but is strong this time. His support and friendship were both comforting and distressing to Joan due to her history of disregarding him.
I liked how moderately lucky Joan was; it felt deserved without becoming overpowered or feeling exaggerated. really felt like she deserved the title of "fate's favorite daughter" by the end.
Once the decision was made to steer clear of in-universe politics, the story did a commendable job of avoiding them, and it didn't suffer for it.
While I wish I had a better understanding of the total passage of time in the series, I appreciated how the time skips were handled. They often reinforced the helplessness of Joan's situation, whether she was unconscious or otherwise incapacitated against her will.
I appreciate that gender wasn't overly emphasized at any point in the story. It felt consistent with the tone.
Overall, I thought it was a good story. I read the whole thing, and there were plenty of reasons to want to continue reading. I just wish the individual story beats were wrapped up better."
I just wish the individual story beats were wrapped up better.
So yeah,
Cheers.
Some of there I can answer, and I will. At least, the ones that were answered so far in the story. Some I can't. I did read all of this, though, and I really appreciate the analysis. :) Happy you've been enjoying it.
Why is the king young? He isn't, he just seems younger because he's more energetic and less exhausted.
Why is Isla alive? Because she wasn't killed by Penthe this time.
How come Isla's trophy husband can form a mental link with ̶S̶3̶R̶L̶ Searle after only being given a description of him but can't connect to Chase, or Hardwin, without meeting them? He was given a LOT of details about Searle, particularly WHERE he was. So he knew not only who to look for, but where he was at that moment.
How far away is anything from anything else? Variable. I never really made a map for it, just a general outline.
What lands border what? Haven't cemented this.
Why was Prince Gertruda-or-whatever holding back against the Hero when they fought? Only the prince knows.