I woke with a start, my heart was pounding. My eyes darted around the hotel room in fear, dreading what I might find.

Finally I breathed a deep sigh of relief. I'd had one of those dreams where you think you're awake. I dreamt the crutches were back and my cast was back and I was guy-me again and I'd never met and talked to Naomi or got my ears pierced or did any of those fun things. But it was all just a nightmare.

My ears were still pierced, my legs were still cute and unbroken. My sexy new blouse was draped over the TV where I apparently tossed it last night, and my black skinny-jeans were next to it on the dresser.

According to the clock it was half past eight. I really wanted to just roll over and go back to sleep, but I had a breakfast date for ten-thirty and there was no way in the world I was going to be late for that.

I slipped out of bed and into the bathroom, used the toilet, then got into the shower.

Showering yesterday morning had been a strange, almost mind-blowing experience. Today I was less freaked out, but that also meant I was able to pay closer attention to how it all felt. Which in turn sort of freaked me out again. Between the physical sensations and the emotions, I wound up taking a little longer in the shower than I'd intended.

When I finally emerged and started towelling myself off, I had a lot of confusing new thoughts and feelings to try and deal with. The thing I was least prepared to cope with at the moment was a question: Why was all this making me feel so happy?

Which in turn reminded me of what that girl told me yesterday at the occult shop, about the spell putting me on my true path and that maybe I was already a girl and just didn't know it. I still didn't understand that part, and thinking about that kid still annoyed me. On the other hand I did start to wonder if maybe I should look into what she meant by that, instead of just ignoring it.

That would be later though. Right now I had a breakfast date to get ready for.

By the time I pushed those thoughts aside I was just about finished blow-drying and styling my hair. I still had a towel wrapped around me, but after making sure I was fully dried off I left the towel hanging in the bathroom.

Today's undies were another matching set, dark red and lacy. I opted for the blue skinny-jeans today, and after a couple minutes of indecision I finally settled on a small tight heather t-shirt. I hung up the black jeans and the new blouse and stuck the other dirty clothes from yesterday into a laundry bag.

The resort had laundry service but it was expensive, I figured when I went back to town tomorrow to visit the pagan store I could also stop at a laundromat and do my own laundry way cheaper.

Then I brushed my teeth and did my make-up, before pulling on my winter boots. I grabbed my jacket but before I set out, I had another look around my room to see if there was any indication I was prepared to do some skiing.

I finally found the hidden evidence, stuffed inside my backpack. There were fuzzy white mitts, a fuzzy white hat, and a long white scarf in there. There was also a pair of fancy designer sunglasses that would double as ski goggles. So I was here to ski after all, I just hadn't got around to it yet.

With that question sorted, I checked the time then pulled on my jacket and grabbed my purse and hurried out.

I was a few minutes early when I got to the restaurant, but I found Naomi already there waiting for me. I felt a surge of joy but tried not to let myself look too eager. It seemed she was as excited about this as I was, neither of us wanted to be late so we both got here early.

"Good morning Rachel!" She smiled and gave me a friendly hug.

I blushed slightly but hugged her back, "Hello Naomi!"

A couple minutes later we were seated at a table by the window, we both had coffee, and we were talking about doing some skiing together.

"I can show you the basics if you like, or if you need a refresher. And we'll stick to the easier runs. It's nicer anyways, I think? You get to see more, enjoy the view and the outdoors more when you're taking your time. Who can see anything when you're hurtling down the slope at eighty kilometres an hour?"

"Thanks Naomi," I smiled as I had another sip of coffee. "I'd really enjoy that, and any tips and refresher stuff you can offer would be great too."

Her comment about racing down the slope sort of resonated with me too. Of course that's how I broke my leg on Tuesday. I was trying to be cool, trying to be one of the guys. Trying to fit in and impress some strangers I didn't even know. They were all about going fast and taking risks. It wasn't about having fun, it was about some stupid testosterone-fuelled one-upmanship.

I was never really into that, I just tried to do it because it's what was expected. It was what 'the guys' did.

We talked more over breakfast, then walked back to the lodge together to get the rest of our winter gear. I was surprised to discover Naomi had her own skis and everything, apparently she was enthusiastic enough about the sport to make that investment.

She waited patiently while I went through the rental process and paid for a lift ticket for the day. And finally, just before noon the two of us set out together to do some skiing.

I already knew a little, enough to get me into trouble basically. But Naomi was really good at this stuff, and she was a great teacher too. We took the lift up to the beginner slopes, and soon we were making our first run down the hill together.

It was loads of fun, and the two of us took our time and talked and enjoyed ourselves. The weather wasn't quite as perfect as yesterday, we had some grey sky but at least it wasn't too cold or windy. I quickly lost track of time as the two of us made countless trips up to the top followed by fun relaxing runs back down the slopes.

Naomi continued giving me tips and pointers in between our other conversations, and we gradually moved from the lowest beginner slopes to the higher ones. We didn't really go much faster, but they were longer runs, with more curves and things. And they were more scenic too, which was nice.

At one point in the afternoon we stopped for a break, there was a little place at the top of the hill that served snacks and things. We got ourselves some hot chocolate and found some seats near the window where we could relax and enjoy the view as we sipped our warm drinks.

We talked more of course, and Naomi admitted she was really quite an avid skier. She'd visited this resort probably two dozen times in the last couple years, along with a few other popular locations in Ontario. She'd even visited some ski resorts in Quebec, and she'd been out to BC to ski at Whistler once. She wanted to try some places in Europe too someday.

Then the conversation took an awkward turn when she asked about my other hobbies and interests. I had no idea what to say. Guy-me wasn't into anything interesting, he just focused on his robotics stuff and watched TV. I assumed I must have some hobbies or something, but I hadn't actually figured out yet what those might be.

Naomi must have seen the deer-in-the-headlights look on my face. She said "It's ok Rachel, I didn't mean to pry. I know you said you didn't want to think about past or future while you were on vacation."

There was something in her voice though, and I suddenly worried she maybe thought I was holding out on her or something. That she was sharing so much about herself with me while I was keeping all my stuff secret. Maybe she thought I didn't trust her?

I finally sighed, "I'm sorry Naomi. It's kind of complicated, and I really don't want to go into it. I don't want to upset or burden you with a bunch of stuff that's... Well, it's just really complicated."

She watched me for another moment or two, and I saw a bunch of emotions flicker across her expression. Suddenly she reached out and held one of my hands as she leaned closer. She asked in a half-whisper, "Rachel please tell me you aren't dying? This isn't some kind of bucket-list thing is it? That's why you're just trying to 'live in the moment' and don't want to talk about the past or the future?"

The concern in her eyes and her voice almost overwhelmed me. We'd only just become friends, we'd only just met not even a whole day ago. For a few moments I didn't know what to say or how to respond. My mind was almost reeling at the thought that she actually cared about me. That the thought of me being sick or dying would upset her.

I didn't know what to tell her though. I didn't want to lie to her, but I absolutely didn't want to tell her the truth. I was afraid she'd think I was nuts. But I was just as scared that she might actually believe me, that two days ago I was some depressed loser of a guy who hated his life so much that he thought freezing to death in a snowbank was a sensible decision.

"Rachel? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Naomi said softly. She was still holding my hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Please don't cry?"

I frowned and blinked a few times, then felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. My emotions were churning, I hadn't even realized I'd started to cry. But it all sort of came crashing down on me at once. As a guy, I'd hit rock bottom. I was ready to give up and die. If a car or something had come along while I lay in the snow, I probably wouldn't have even tried to get out of the way.

Instead, I found a miracle in that manilla envelope. Now here I was a day and a half later enjoying my life. I was happy, I'd made a friend, and she liked me enough to be worried about my health and my future and the fact that I was crying for no reason.

And I didn't want to give any of this up. I didn't want to lose the happiness, the joy, or my new friend. I never wanted to find myself back in that other place again. The stuff that annoying teen said once again echoed in my mind, about how the wrong path can make life difficult. Guy-me was so far off course he was ready to die. As Rachel though, my life was perfect and everything just kept clicking into place for me.

Naomi was still watching me, still holding my hand. "Are you ok? Rachel, please say something?"

"I'm sorry," I apologized softly as I wiped my eyes with my free hand. "I'm not dying Naomi. I... This is really complicated and I don't want to sound crazy or scare you away. Wednesday night I was ready to give up? I was depressed and had no idea why my life felt so wrong, so off-course. Then something happened, call it a miracle. And..."

I hesitated as I tried to think of how to explain it. "Now I feel like Cinderella, like I'm living a fantasy. And I'm scared it might suddenly end, but I'm just as scared that it won't."

She looked at me with a mix of concern and compassion that almost brought me to tears again.

After a few moments she said softly, "If there's anything I can do, just say. Ok?"

"Thank you," I whispered. "I just need some time, ok? I have to go into town tomorrow to meet someone, and hopefully they'll have some answers for me. Then I'll know what's going to happen. But until then, all I can do is live for the moment."

She gave my hand a gentle squeeze, then finally let go. "Ok Rachel. I can do that."

After a moment she asked, "What would you like to do now? We can ski some more? Or just head down the hill and call it a day?"

I wiped my eyes once more then smiled weakly, "Let's hit the slopes again. I've been having a lot of fun skiing with you Naomi, I'd like to keep doing that? If it's ok?"

Naomi gave me a warm smile, "Of course. I've really enjoyed skiing with you too Rachel. So c'mon, let's go have some more fun together."

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