Over the course of two dates with Jay, Ryan learned more about Alexis than he had since they met. On their first date—Saturday brunch at a local cafe Ryan had never been to—Jay revealed that he was from the same town as Alexis. Alexis had never told Ryan the name of the town—only that it was a couple hours’ drive away—and Jay didn’t offer it either, so Ryan didn’t pry. While Ryan had made some educated guesses about Alexis’ background over the two and a half years they’d lived together—a less-than-pleasant childhood—Alexis never spoke directly about what his life before college was like.

Jay skillfully steered the conversation away from Alexis afterward, and they got to talking about movies and video games. Jay, who was a certified electrician and had training as both a carpenter and welder, was ecstatic to learn Ryan was studying architectural design. Ryan was surprised Alexis hadn’t even shared that much with Jay, who had taken on a childlike quality in his excitement. Ryan was torn between letting the guy carry on with his questions and lunging across the table to make out with him. He opted for the former due to the public setting, and they spent an hour discussing their overlapping fields.

It took until their second date for Ryan to get up the courage to ask Jay about his age. They were walking aimlessly after a late movie, practically shoulder-to-shoulder, and Ryan’s fingers were aching to grab Jay’s hand when Jay made an offhand comment about how something in the movie reminded him of a different movie he’d seen in theaters in high school—a movie that had come out when Ryan was in first grade. When he pointed this out, Jay gave him a nervous, almost guilty look.

Ryan took a deep breath before diving head-first. “How much older?”

Jay rubbed the back of his neck and averted his gaze a moment, but he looked Ryan in the eye when he answered, “I’ll be thirty in August.” Ryan stopped in his tracks, and Jay turned to him, head drooped like a puppy who’d been caught chewing up a shoe. Ryan could easily picture a fluffy tail tucked between his legs.

The guy was almost a decade older than him, which meant he was almost a decade older than Alexis. “How did you and Alexis even become friends?”

Jay looked surprised at the question. Fair, given Ryan hadn’t even expected to ask it. His broad shoulders slumped with a sigh. “Our families have history—the bad kind. Lex’s family is…old school.”

“Christian fundamentalists?” Ryan suggested.

Jay shook his head. “Not like any you’ve encountered. Worse, honestly.”

Ryan winced. No wonder the guy never talked about his family.

“My family, on the other hand, is about as opposite from that as you can get while still being white. I have two moms, and one of them is trans.”

“Oh,” Ryan said, hoping it sounded casual. “Cool.”

Jay smiled a little. “Yeah, it is. And it was pretty well-known. Lex and I had only ever crossed paths peripherally before, but when his parents started talking about camps right before his sixteenth birthday, he ran away. Ended up at our front door, and we took him in. I was still living with my family then, helping out with my younger siblings. Anyway, it was a hell of a two years keeping Lex away from his parents. We grew close over that time, and I decided to move out here with him so he’d have someone nearby and wouldn’t be so alone.”

“Oh wow. That’s… That’s a pretty big ask.”

“Lex didn’t ask,” Jay corrected with a wry smile. “I didn’t either. I knew he’d never accept an offer. I waited until I had a job and a lease signed, then told him I was also moving here. I’d committed being here at least a year, and he knew he couldn’t talk me out of it if he tried.” Jay shrugged as if what he’d done hadn’t been a huge gesture—and sacrifice—to support his friend.

Ryan started wondering if they had only ever been friends, but he quickly shut down that train of thought. Even if Alexis wasn’t aroace, he’d been the one to set Ryan and Jay up. Getting jealous because Jay was a good friend to someone who’d gone through hell would be immature and asinine.

“I’ll be honest,” Jay was saying, drawing Ryan’s focus back to him, “I feel a bit weird about the age difference. Normally, I wouldn’t even consider dating someone as young as you.” He looked like he was expecting a blow following those words.

“So you’re saying I’m special?” Ryan was equal parts relieved and thrilled to see Jay’s expression brighten like the sun breaking through the clouds. Wow, two weeks and I’m already waxing poetic about this guy. He pushed through his inward cringing and held out his hand. “I’ve been meaning to ask you how you feel about PDA.”

Jay took his hand and squeezed, his smile growing even brighter. “You lead, I’ll follow.”

Ryan put his other hand on the back of Jay’s neck and pulled him down into a kiss. He hadn’t intended for it to turn hot and heavy, but Jay’s free hand went to the small of his back and pressed him close, and he could feel the warmth of Jay’s body radiating through their shirts. Jay turned his hand against Ryan’s to lace their fingers together as the point of his tongue teased Ryan’s lips, his scruff scratching the surface of a much deeper itch growing in Ryan’s core.

Jay pulled back so they could both breathe but kept his face close, the hot, moist air from his mouth mingling with Ryan’s. Jay lowered the hand on his back just enough to nudge the waistline of Ryan’s jeans through his t-shirt. “Do you wanna come—”

“Yes.”

“…over?” Jay barely managed the last word before he started giggling, head falling to Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

Ryan could only stay mortified for a second under the weight of Jay’s head on his shoulder and the infectiousness of his giggling. They must have looked like absolute idiots—drunks maybe—standing on the sidewalk laughing like little kids who thought farting was peak comedy. When Jay finally settled and lifted his head, Ryan asked, “Too eager?”

Jay shook his head, grinning. “The perfect amount.” He kissed Ryan again, briefer this time, before pulling him in the direction of his apartment.

It felt surreal to be back in Jay’s bedroom, and Ryan wasn’t entirely sure why. The lack of décor was even more obvious now that he’d taken notice of the rest of the place. That curiosity could certainly wait, though.

Ryan had been going back and forth on what he actually wanted to do with Jay that night. He’d been meaning to get more practice in with his toys—maybe even buy something new—but the end of the semester was fast approaching, and he’d been increasingly swamped with papers and projects.

“What’s wrong?” Jay poked him gently between his eyebrows. “You’re frowning.”

“Sorry.” Ryan shifted his weight and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to disappoint again—”

“You didn’t disappoint the first time.” Jay brushed his fingertips along Ryan’s temple.

Ryan blushed and nodded with a small smile. “I just don’t think we’ll have anymore luck than we did the first time, not tonight. Finals are only a month away, and I’m honestly still really nervous about messing this up…”

Jay sat at the foot of his bed and tugged at Ryan’s hand until he did the same, though he didn’t let go. “First, thank you for being up front. We don’t have to do or try anything you’re not feeling up for. Second, why are you worried about messing this up?”

Ryan shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t have experience dating guys—being queer. Like, yeah, I’ve known for years, but in practice…”

“There’s no right or wrong way to be queer, Ryan. There’s no handbook to queer relationships. Just be you and keep communicating openly like this, and I’ll do the same. That’s all anyone can do in any relationship.”

Ryan tapped his fingers slowly against Jay’s palm. “Is that what this is then? A relationship?” He glanced shyly up to meet Jay’s pale eyes. “Do I have my first boyfriend?”

Jay huffed in amusement. “I’d like to be, yeah. You?”

“That sounds perfect.” Ryan stood and peeled off his shirt, then climbed onto Jay’s lap. “Being the more mature and experienced man that you are—” He laughed as Jay rolled his eyes. “I think maybe you should lead in here.”

Jay leaned forward and kissed his neck. “As long as you promise to tell me if I need to stop.”

Ryan tilted his head to grant the man easier access as his breaths grew shallow. “Promise.” He inhaled sharply, curling his fingers into Jay’s tank top as Jay made his first mark on Ryan’s throat.

“You’re so fucking sensitive,” Jay murmured against the fresh hickey.

“Am I?” Ryan’s voice came out strained. “Not a problem I hope?”

“The opposite of a problem.” Jay licked his neck, and Ryan shuddered against him as a small noise caught in his throat. “Can I suck you off?”

“God, yes. Please.” Before Ryan could stand up, the room spun; a second later, he was on his back on Jay’s bed with Jay looming over him, eyes raking down his body hungrily. It might have been unsettling if Ryan didn’t desperately want Jay to have his way with him. “Jay…”

Jay seemed to snap out of his daze and shot him a wolfish grin. “I could eat you up.”

Ryan let out a breathy laugh. “Promises, promises.”

Jay ran his hands down Ryan’s ribs, the roughness of his callouses lightly scratching Ryan’s skin and leaving fire in their wake like Ryan was a match being struck. He barely caught himself from whining when those hands left him, but it was temporary. Once Jay had tossed his tank top to join Ryan’s shirt, he pulled Ryan down the bed so his knees could bend over the edge.

As Ryan watched Jay remove his jeans and boxers, a tantalizing idea came to mind. He almost abandoned it when Jay reached for his cock. “Wait.”

Jay froze and looked at his face, worry creeping into his eyes.

Ryan smiled in hopes of assuaging his concerns. “Can… Can you…maybe…finger me while you suck me off?” Jay’s thick brows shot up and his mouth hung open a little. Ryan wouldn’t have been surprised if the guy started drooling, and he had to suppress a laugh at the mental image.

“Are you sure?”

Ryan nodded. “We know I can at least take that much. I mean, I’ll probably cum faster, right? Not that I want to rush this! I just figured…practice?”

Jay looked down at Ryan’s cock, then back at his face, but his eyes were unfocused. Thoughts were racing behind his eyes, and the silence stretched long enough to make Ryan nervous.

“Was that not a good idea?”

Jay’s focus snapped back onto his face. “What? No. I mean it’s a good idea—definitely doable—I just…I was hoping to take it a little slower this time. Savor it—savor you.”

“Oh,” Ryan uttered quietly, heart fluttering.

“Is that alright?” Jay looked at him, hopeful and a touch guilty.

“More than alright,” Ryan said and spread his legs further.

Jay relaxed, releasing a relieved breath. Then he rubbed his hands together like a cartoon villain. “I’ve been wanting to make you squirm since that first night.”

“Squirm?” Ryan liked the sound of that, and his heart began racing with fresh excitement. “I don’t think anyone’s ever made me squirm before.”

“Another first for me.” Jay leaned over him, capturing Ryan’s mouth with his, but abandoning the kiss far too soon. Jay made up for it by nibbling and licking his way down Ryan’s jaw and throat and collarbone. Every point of contact sent a flare of heat through Ryan. He grabbed the back of Jay’s head, desperately needing to hold onto something.

Ryan realized where Jay’s mouth was going next a split second before the man’s lips were on his nipple, hot tongue swirling around it, coaxing it into a hard nub. Ryan dug his nails into Jay’s scalp as a moan pushed its way out of him. A second, higher pitched one followed when Jay pulled back with a wet pop.

“Another first?” Jay mused, and Ryan nodded. He realized then that his nails were digging into Jay’s head and started to loosen his grip. “It’s alright,” Jay said, voice dropping low and taking on a gravelly quality. “I like how it feels.”

Why is that so fucking hot?

The question fled Ryan’s mind as soon as it entered, all his focus taken up by Jay’s mouth on his other nipple. The tip of his cock came into contact with Jay’s abs, fully hard and aching without a single touch.

Jay kissed a line from Ryan’s chest to his navel, nipping his sensitive skin along the way. By the time Ryan felt Jay’s hot breath on his cock, he already had precum beading over the slit. His eyes shot wide as he watched Jay swipe it off with his tongue. Jay licked his lips, then wrapped them around the head of Ryan’s cock.

“Oh god!” Ryan dug his nails harder into Jay’s head. A lot of that first night with Jay was a blur, and he couldn’t remember if Jay’s mouth had felt so maddeningly hot on his cock then—hotter than any pussy he’d fucked, of that he was sure.

Jay took more of him in, then scraped his teeth lightly up the shaft as he pulled back, making Ryan shudder from head to toe. Jay bobbed his head up and down slowly, dragging Ryan steadily closer to the edge, then easing up before he reached it. Ryan was starting to shake, eyes watering, begging Jay, though he wasn’t sure if he was begging Jay to make him cum or keep him on the knife’s edge a little longer. His fingers were stiff and sore from gripping Jay’s head so hard.

Jay pulled back until he had just the head of Ryan’s cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Ryan was on the verge of catching his breath when Jay adjusted his angle of approach and suddenly took Ryan’s full length. Ryan cried out as his cock rubbed up against the back of Jay’s throat, the heat almost painful. He tugged frantically at Jay’s short hair, unable to get out a verbal warning. Jay sucked hard as he pulled back—not entirely, not enough to avoid Ryan cumming in his mouth and down his throat, toes curled as he shouted hoarsely, Jay’s name plentiful in the mix of profanity and wordless pleasure.

When his vision cleared, Jay’s face was hovering over him, chin covered in saliva, a bit of Ryan’s cum in the corner of his mouth. “Sorry,” Ryan rasped. “I tried to warn you.”

“You did,” Jay said, grinning impishly. “Oh, did I fail to mention I’m a bit of a cum guzzler?”

Ryan made a strangled noise and covered his face. Jay laughed and lay down next to him, head propped in his hand. When Ryan peeked through his fingers, he found Jay’s expression no less teasing but also warm. Affectionate. Ryan rolled onto his side to face him, reaching out to touch his chest and run his fingers through the thick hair there. “I’ll return the favor once I catch my breath.”

“No rush.” Jay combed his fingers through Ryan’s hair. “And you’re not obligated.”

“Seems unfair not to, not that I think of it as a chore or anything.” Ryan grinned.

“Don’t worry. Making you squirm was plenty satisfying.”

Ryan’s gaze dropped bashfully, but he didn’t pull away. He focused on mapping the shape of Jay’s chest under his fingers—something he’d wanted desperately to do since that first night—which was when he noticed something he hadn’t before.

Jay poked him between his eyebrows again. “Frowning.”

Ryan glanced up. “Sorry, just confused about something. It’s nothing.”

“I know I give good head, but surely it wasn’t so good you forgot our talk about communication?”

“Conceited much?” Ryan huffed, his smile fleeting. “I don’t know if it’s appropriate to ask.”

“Something to do with me being trans?”

Ryan nodded. “It’s not something that bothers me, just…curious.”

“You can ask. I’m pretty open about it all, and I’m lucky enough to have gotten the body I always wanted. No dysphoria to trigger really, not anymore.”

Ryan hesitated before lowering his fingers to the bottom of Jay’s pecs. “No scars?”

“Oh, that. Yeah, no, I never had top surgery. Never needed it. I was able to start puberty blockers before nature did its damage, then T.”

“Puberty blockers were available in the nineteen hundreds?” Ryan teased, and Jay gave his shoulder a light shove.

“They weren’t as widely used—especially for trans kids—but between one mom being trans and the other a pediatrician, they knew what was out there. Like I said, I’m lucky.”

“It shouldn’t take luck,” Ryan murmured. “You shouldn’t have to be lucky.”

Jay took his chin and lifted his face up. “You’re so fucking sweet.” He leaned in and kissed him. Ryan wrapped his arms around Jay and rolled onto his back, pulling Jay on top of him, tasting himself on the other man’s tongue.