Previously on "My Real-Life Romance Route is Glitched":

- Kenta survived the first morning of second year.

- Lost affection points just by speaking.

- Got pencils thrown at him by a childhood friend with sniper accuracy.

- Established window-staring as his primary personality trait.

「 System: Loading Chapter 2... 」

...

The morning passed in a blur of syllabi, class rules, and Hana throwing exactly seven more pencils at the back of my head.

I counted.

I kept a tally in my notebook, right next to "Potential Heroine Power Rankings" and "Shibasaki's Blink Frequency (Current Average: 6 per minute, which is inhumanly low)."

By lunch, my scalp was tender and my dignity was in shambles.

But I had a theory.

Hana's throwing accuracy was too good. Her strength was too high. Her hearing was too sharp. These weren't normal childhood friend stats. These were like hidden boss stats.

Which meant one of two things:

Theory A: Hana was the secret final heroine. The one you unlock after beating all other routes. The "True Childhood Friend" ending that makes you regret ignoring her for 99% of the game.

Theory B: Hana was secretly a superhero and I was going to be collateral damage in her origin story.

I preferred Theory A. Theory A meant I still had a chance.

Theory B meant I needed protective gear.

Lunch ended. The bell rang.

Mr. Sato stood at the front of the classroom, looking at a piece of paper with an expression that suggested the paper had personally offended his ancestors.

"Class," he said. "We have a... late addition."

Murmurs rippled through the room.

Late addition. In visual novel terms, that was code for plot device incoming.

「 System: Something's approaching the door. Footsteps: Confident.」「 Classification: Not Hana. Not Shibasaki. Unknown female entity, most likely a transfer student.」
「 Note: Stop adjusting your collar. 」

I straightened my back and adjusted my collar anyway. Made sure my hair was optimally ruffled by the nonexistent breeze.

This was it.

This was the moment.

The transfer student was statistically the highest-probability True Ending route. Think about it. The childhood friend is too predictable. The ice queen takes too long to thaw.

But the transfer student? She arrives with narrative momentum. She doesn't know anyone. She needs a guide. A friendly face. A protagonist.

That's me.

I'm that protagonist.

"Enter," Mr. Sato said, with the defeated tone of a man who had given up on controlling his classroom years ago.

The door slid open.

She was tall. Not model tall, but confidently tall. Shoulders back. Chin up. She walked like she owned the room and was just letting everyone else borrow it.

Her hair was short and choppy, dark brown, with a single white flower clip holding back her bangs on the right side. The flower clip caught the afternoon light and seemed to glow. Her uniform was standard issue, but she'd rolled up her sleeves and left the top button undone. Rebellious and intentionally imperfect.

She reached the front of the class, turned to face everyone, and grinned.

It was a big grin that took up her whole face.

"Hey y'all!" she waved her entire arm. "Name's Yoshikawa Maki. Just moved up from Osaka. Don't know a soul, so be nice to me, un-ya?"

Osaka.

Un-ya is like the kansai word for "yeah." if I'm not wrong. 

「 System: Transfer Student Analysis Complete. 」

「 Archetype: THE GENKI KANSAI GIRL. 」

「 Estimated Affection: 50/100. Romance Potential: HIGH. 」

I didn't care about the warning.

She was new. She was unfamiliar with my reputation. She hadn't seen me swallow a sakura petal or get hit by a loafer or narrate my monologue.

This was a blank slate.

"Yoshikawa," Mr. Sato said, scanning the room for an empty seat. "Let's see... there's an open desk next to..."

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He looked at the desk to my right. The one that had been empty all morning.

The one that was directly adjacent to the protagonist's window seat.

「 System: seat assignment detected. Proximity: PROTAGONIST ADJACENT. 」

「 This is not random. This is narrative destiny. 」

"...Tanaka," Mr. Sato finished, his soul visibly leaving his body. "You're next to Tanaka."

Yoshikawa Maki followed his gaze. Her eyes landed on me.

I raised my hand casually and protagonistically.

"Welcome," I said, keeping my voice smooth. "If you need anything—directions, class notes, a guide to the school's hidden romantic hotspots—I'm your man."

Silence.

It's not the good kind, but the everyone-is-watching-you-fail kind.

Behind me, Hana's pencil stop moving. 

Prez is  closed her book and Yamada buried his face in his hands.

His disappointment was audible.

But Yoshikawa Maki?

She tilted her head. Looked at me. Processed my words.

And then she laughed.

A genuine, full-belly, head-thrown-back cackle.

"HAH! Hidden romantic hotspots!" She slapped her knee. Literally slapped her knee. "You're funny, Tanaka! I like ya already!"

She walked to her desk, dropped her bag on the floor with a thud, and sat down.

Then she turned to me.

Full body. Legs crossed. Elbow on my desk. Chin in her hand.

Staring directly into my soul.

"C'mon then," she said, lowering her voice to a dramatic whisper. "Tell me everythin'. Who's the class weirdo? Who's the secret couple? Who should I avoid, and who's actually nice but has a resting bitch face?"

「 System: Dialogue Choice Detected. 」

「 1. Point at yourself. 2. Point at Yamada. 3. Point at Hana. (DEATH FLAG) 4. Offer a tour.」

My finger twitched toward Option 4.

"I could show you around after school," I said. "Give you the real tour. The one they don't put in the pamphlet."

Yoshikawa blinked.

Then she grinned wider.

"Oh yeah? What's on this 'real' tour?"

"Rooftop and the vending machine that sometimes gives you two drinks by accident."

She leaned closer.

"Rooftop's romantic, is it?"

"It can be."

"Is that your move, Tanaka? You show transfer student the rooftop and hope for a confession event?"

She said "confession event."

She said "confession event" like a normal person would say "bathroom" or "lunch."

「 System: WAIT. 」

「 Target recognizes VN terminology. Analyze. Analyze. 」

"I—" I started. "You—how do you—"

"My old man works at a game company," she said casually. "I've beta-tested, like..." she started counting with her hands, "...thirty visual novels. I know all the tropes."

She reached over and tapped my chin with her finger, turning my face left, then right, like she was inspecting merchandise.

"Window seat, ruffled hair, generic name..." She released me. "Ya even did the collar adjustment when I walked in. That's a level three protagonist tic. Ya ain't just playin' the game. You're committed."

「 System: SHOCK. She can see through the contstruct.」

I opened my mouth.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

No words came out.

For the first time in my years of visual novel brain rot, I had met someone who spoke my language.

And she was laughing at me.

But like... in a friendly way?

"Relax," Yoshikawa said, leaning back. "Ain't gonna out you. Everyone's got their thing. Yours just happens to be... aggressively Japanese."

Behind me, Hana spoke.

Her voice was flat. Not angry nor sad, just... tired. Defeated.

"So you're telling me there's two of them now."

She didn't specify who she was talking to. God, probably. Filing a formal complaint.

Yoshikawa turned and waved at Hana.

"Un-ya! Love the braid, by the way. Super cute."

Hana stared at her.

Then at me.

Then back at Yoshikawa.

"I'm transferring schools," Hana announced.

"You can't," Mr. Sato said from the front of the room, not looking up from his attendance sheet. "It's the first day."

"I'll find a way."

"You won't."

Hana slumped in her seat. Her forehead hit the desk with a soft thunk.

「System: Childhood Friend [Hana Sato] - Affection: 48/100. (Down 2 points. Reason: New rival detected. Existential exhaustion.)」

Yoshikawa turned back to me. Lowered her voice again.

"For real, though," she said. "Rooftop after school? I'll bring snacks. Ya bring the tour. Don't keep me waitin', Tanaka!"

She winked.

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki - Affection: 55/100. Warning: She might be writing her own walkthrough. 」

I nodded carefully.

"I'll bring the tour," I said.

"Great!" She turned around, opened her notebook, and started writing.

I glanced at her page.

She was drawing a flowchart.

A romance route flowchart.

With my name at the center.

「 System: ...Is she also delusional? Or is she playing a separate game adjacent to yours? 」

「 Additional Note: Either way, this is the most interesting thing that has happened all day. 」

Yoshikawa caught me looking. She didn't hide the page. Just tilted her head and smiled.

"Don't worry, Tanaka. I'm justcurious how things'll go, is all."

She tapped her pen against her chin.

The afternoon sunlight streamed through the window.

The sakura petals kept falling.

「New Route Unlocked: THE META-HEROINE. She might be better at this than you.」

「SYSTEM NOTE: Kenta. For the love of everything, do NOT let her see your notebook. Hers is better organized.」