Previously on "My Real-Life Romance Route is Glitched":

- Kenta met transfer student Yoshikawa Maki.

- She's from Osaka. She's loud and she's cultured as Kenta.

- She drew a flowchart of Kenta's romance routes. On her first day.

- Hana's affection dropped to 48/100. She's considering homeschool.

「 System: Loading Chapter 3... 」

...

The final bell rang.

It was a sound I usually associated with freedom, hope, and the sweet release from quadratic equations.

Today, it sounded like the opening fanfare of a boss battle.

I gathered my things slowly. 

Around me, students packed their bags, formed social clusters, and filtered out of the classroom. The usual end-of-day chaos. Yamada waved goodbye and mouthed "good luck" with the solemn expression of a man sending a friend to war.

Hana walked past my desk without looking at me.

"Have fun on your 'tour,'" she said, air quotes audible.

"Hana—"

"If you die, I'm not coming to your funeral."

"That's harsh."

"I'll send a loafer."

She left.

「 System: Childhood Friend [Hana Sato] - Affection: 47/100. 」
「 Note: She's joking about the loafer. Probably. 」

Shibasaki stood, tucked Advanced Thermodynamics under her arm, and walked toward the door.

She paused at my desk.

"Tanaka."

I looked up. "Yes, President?"

"The rooftop is off-limits after school. There's a fence and a locked gate for a reason."

"I know."

"Yet you're going anyway."

"It's a tour."

She stared at me.

I stared back.

"The fence has a loose panel on the east side," she said. "If anyone were to hypothetically access the rooftop, that would be the hypothetical entry point."

Then she walked away.

「 System: WHAT. 」
「 Ice Queen [Shibasaki Rei] just gave you illegal rooftop access instructions. 」

「 Affection: -2/100? -1/100? SCHRÖDINGER'S AFFECTION. 」
「 Note: This is either a tsundere move or a trap. Possibly both. 」

I sat there for a full ten seconds, processing.

Then Yoshikawa appeared at my side, already holding two juice boxes and a bag of something that crinkled aggressively.

"Ready, Tanaka?" She was practically vibrating. "C'mon then. Let's go break some rules!"

...

The rooftop was exactly as romantic as I had imagined.

Sunset. Orange and pink bleeding across the sky. The city sprawled below like a tapestry of minor background characters. A gentle breeze. The distant sound of the baseball team practicing.

Also, a chain-link fence with a suspiciously loose panel on the east side.

Shibasaki's intel was flawless.

"Well I'll be," Yoshikawa said, crawling through the gap. "Your ice queen knows how to pick 'em."

"She's not my ice queen."

"Yet."

"She has negative affection for me."

Yoshikawa snorted. "Negative affection ain't real, Tanaka. That's just tsundere with extra steps." She plopped down on the rooftop, legs dangling over the edge, and patted the spot next to her. "Sit. Snack."

I sat.

She handed me a juice box. Straw already inserted.

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki - Affection: 57/100. She prepared your juice box. 」
「 Note: That's wife behavior. It's only been three hours. Calm down. 」

We sat in silence for a moment.

It was... nice.

 ...

"So," Yoshikawa said, cracking open her own juice box. "Who're ya actually tryin' to romance?"

I blinked. "You're jumping to conclusions."

"Am I?"

"Yes. You've only been here for like half a day. You saw Hana throw pencils and Shibasaki glare at me. That's not enough data for a flowchart."

"Then give me more data, Tanaka." She leaned back on her hands. "Who are these people?"

I took a breath.

This was... actually a good opportunity. Explaining the cast out loud might help me organize my own thoughts. Like a character directory in a VN tutorial.

"Hana Sato," I began. "She's my childhood friend. Next-door neighbor. Known her since we were four. She's..." I searched for the right words. "She's been putting up with me for thirteen years. The throwing thing is new, but the judgment is not."

"Childhood friend route," Yoshikawa nodded, pulling out her notebook. "Classic. Usually comes with a locked ending if you ignore her too long."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"And the ice queen?"

"Shibasaki Rei. Student Council President. Same year as us and she's aggressively competent. She sits behind me in class and she's never smiled in my presence, but I think she's just hiding her tsundere personality."

"Hmm... she Sounds like kuudere, not tsundere."

"What's the difference?"

"Tsundere starts cold then warms up. Kuudere stays cold but secretly cares. The affection meter moves slower but the payoff's bigger." She tapped her pen. "You got any evidence she secretly cares?"

I thought about it.

"...She just gave us illegal rooftop access instructions."

"That's somethin'." She wrote something down. "What about the guy who buried his face in his hands?"

"Yamada. He's my best friend. Not a romance option."

"Why not?"

"He's a guy."

"Visual novels got guy routes sometimes."

. . .

I stared at her.

She stared back.

"I'm not sayin' you're into that. I'm sayin' don't assume. The genre's wider than you think."

I filed that information away for later. "Yamada is my comic relief. He plays Dragon Quest and other RPG's and keeps me from completely losing touch with reality. His route, if it existed, would be called 'The Best Friend Betrayal' and require 100 affection to unlock."

"To unlock what?"

"A ramen shop. We'd call it 'Noodle Dreams.' The logo would be two chopsticks forming a heart."

Yoshikawa stopped writing.

She looked at me.

"You've... thought about this."

"Hypothetically."

"You planned the logo, Tanaka."

"It was a hypothetical logo."

She shook her head, laughing, and went back to her flowchart.

"Anyone else? Any heroines I haven't spotted yet?"

I shrugged. "There's the rest of the class. Potential heroines are everywhere. The quiet girl in the back who never speaks? Could be a mute heroine with a tragic past. The class representative? Could be a secret yandere. The teacher—"

"Teacher route's a bad end."

"Agreed. I'm not touching that flag."

"So your current active routes are: Childhood Friend, Ice Queen, and..." she looked at me, "...Yamada?"

"Yamada is not a route."

"You designed a logo, Tanaka."

"As I said! Hypothetically!"

She cackled. "Fine, fine. I'll mark him as 'NPC - Potential Ramen Business Partner.' Ya Happy?"

"Yes. Actually. That's accurate."

She wrote it down.

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki now possesses a more accurate character directory than you do. 」
「 Note: She's been here less than a day. 」

"Alright," Yoshikawa said, closing her notebook. "So ya got three active routes and a bunch of maybes. But ya still ain't answered my question."

"What question?"

"Who're you actually tryin' to romance?"

The sunset was getting darker.

The city lights were starting to blink on.

And I didn't have an answer.

"I don't know yet," I admitted. "The routes are still developing. I'm... collecting data."

"Collectin' data," she repeated slowly.

"Yes."

"You're in your own romance story and you're collectin' data."

"That's how visual novels work. You raise affection points. You trigger flags. You—"

"Tanaka." She put a hand on my shoulder. "That's how games work. Real life ain't a game."

I opened my mouth to argue.

But she was looking at me with something I couldn't name.

Not pity. Not mockery.

Something else.

"Ya ever just... felt somethin'?" she asked. "Without calculatin' it?"

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki has asked a question that cannot be answered with existing data. 」
「 Category Error: Emotion does not have an affection value. 」
「 Note: This is the second time today your system has failed to categorize something. 」

"I..." I started. Stopped. "I don't know."

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's what I figured."

She turned back to the sunset.

The moment stretched and she punched my arm. Lightly.

...

The baseball team finished practice. The shouts faded. The sky darkened toward purple.

"So," Yoshikawa said. "Rooftop ain't the only stop on this tour, is it?"

"There's the vending machine. The one that gives two drinks."

"The one that's broken in a romantic way?"

"It's broken in a legendary way. The romance is implied."

She laughed. "Lead the way, Tanaka. But fair warnin'—"

"What?"

"I'm a completionist. If you're showin' me routes, I'm gonna explore all of 'em."

「 System: ...Is she flirting? 」
「 System: ...Is she threatenin' you? 」
「 System: ...Both? 」

I stood up. Brushed off my pants and offered her a hand.

She took it.

Her hand was warm.

「 System: Physical contact event! Hand-holdin'! This is a major flag! 」
「 System: It's just a hand, Kenta. Calm down. 」
「 System: YOU calm down. 」

We crawled back through the fence.

The hallway was empty. Echoey. The kind of liminal space that appears in VNs right before a surprise encounter.

And surprise encounters always happen when you least expect them.

We rounded the corner toward the stairwell.

And there, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, was President Shibasaki.

She wasn't reading.

She was waiting.

Her long black hair cascaded over her shoulders. The headband held her bangs perfectly in place. The setting sun through the window behind her made her look like a final boss.

"Tanaka," she said.

"Prez." I stopped. Yoshikawa stopped beside me. "Fancy seein' you here."

"It's not fancy. It's deliberate." Her eyes flicked to Yoshikawa. "Yoshikawa."

"Yo, Prez!" Yoshikawa waved. "Nice fence intel. Real specific. Ya break in a lot?"

Shibasaki ignored her and focused on me.

"The vending machine," she said. "You're going to show her the one in the basement."

"It's legendary," I said.

"It's broken."

"That's what makes it legendary."

Shibasaki's eyebrow twitched. The smallest movement. Almost imperceptible.

Then she reached into her pocket.

Pulled out something small.

Pressed it into my hand.

A coin. 120 yen.

"If it gives you two drinks," she said quietly, "one of them is mine."

She walked away.

Her long hair swayed behind her.

I stood there.

Staring at the coin in my palm.

「 System: Ice Queen [Shibasaki Rei] just invested in your vending machine gambit. 」
「 Affection: ??? 」
「 Note: She gave you money, Kenta. That's not nothing.」

Yoshikawa let out a low whistle.

"Well, well, well," she said. "She's definitely a kuudere. The coin says 'I care but I can't say it.' That's textbook."

"Her affection is negative, Yoshikawa."

"Negative affection's just positive affection that ain't figured itself out yet."

"That's not how numbers work."

"That's how kuuderes work, Tanaka. Get with the genre."

She grabbed my wrist. Pulled me toward the basement stairs.

"C'mon," she said. "Let's go see if this machine's as legendary as you claim."

Then she glanced back toward the classroom hallway. The direction Hana had disappeared into.

"And maybe..." she grinned, "...we'll pick up somethin' for your childhood friend while we're at it."

I blinked. "What? Why?"

"Just followin' my guts, Tanaka. You'll thank me later."

She pulled me forward.

I followed, still holding the 120 yen coin, and leads her towards the legendary vending machine.