Previously on "My Real-Life Romance Route is Glitched":

- Kenta gave Yoshikawa the rooftop tour. She called his notebook a manifesto.

- Shibasaki gave him 120 yen and demanded a drink. Affection: ???

- They continued the tour.

「 System: Loading Chapter 4... 」

...

The basement hallway smelled like mildew, regret, and the ghost of every failed romance since the school was built.

The lights flickered in a rhythm that felt intentional. Like the building itself was trying to communicate in Morse code. Message: GET OUT.

Yoshikawa stopped in front of the vending machine.

It was older than the new teachers. The logo had faded to an illegible ghost. The buttons were worn smooth. And the mechanism inside hummed with the quiet confidence of a machine that had seen generations of students lose their 120 yen to its whims.

"Well I'll be," Yoshikawa whispered. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it's beautifully broken."

"That's what makes it beautiful."

She stepped closer. Ran her fingers along the faded buttons, reverent.

"How does it work? The 'two drinks' thing?"

"No one knows. It just... happens. Sometimes. When the machine feels generous, we called it the blessing."

"Or when the narrative demands it," she said, glancing at me.

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki has suggested the vending machine operates on plot convenience. 」
「 Note: This is either a joke or a fourth-wall breach. Possibly both. 」

I pulled out Shibasaki's coin.

120 yen. Warm from being in my pocket. Still bearing the faint ghost of her cold fingertips.

"Alright," I said. "Let's see if the machine blesses the president's investment."

I inserted the coin.

Pressed the button for cold green tea.

The machine whirred.

Groaned.

Made a sound like an old man clearing his throat.

Clunk.

Clunk.

Two cans.

"HA!" I grabbed them both, held them aloft like trophies. "THE MACHINE HAS BLESSED THE PRESIDENT'S COIN! FIRST TRY! IMMEDIATE SUCCESS! ROMANCE CONFIRMED!"

Yoshikawa genuinely applauded. 

"Un-ya! Okay, okay, my turn. Move aside, Tanaka. Let a professional show you how it's done."

She shoved me gently and stepped up to the machine.

Pulled out her own coins.

"C'mon, you beautiful hunk of junk. Auntie Maki needs a win."

She inserted the money.

Pressed the button.

The machine whirred.

Groaned and hesitated for a few seconds, and then—

Clunk.

Clunk.

Two more cans.

Yoshikawa stared at the slot.

Then at me.

Then back at the slot.

"WELL I'LL BE," she shouted. "IT'S BLESSED! THE MACHINE IS BLESSED! I'M NEVER LEAVIN' THIS BASEMENT!"

She grabbed her two cans. Held them up.

Four cans of cold green tea.

One for me. One for Shibasaki. Two for Yoshikawa, because she was apparently building a stockpile.

She cracked one open immediately.

"This is the best day of my life," she announced, taking a long sip.

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki - Affection: 65/100. (Up 8 points. Reason: Shared vending machine blessing.) 」
「 Note: She's very easy to impress. 」

I was about to respond when I heard it.

Footsteps echoing through the hall and it's slowly approaching.

Yoshikawa heard them too. She lowered her can. Her eyes narrowed.

Then she grinned.

"Hide the cans," she whispered.

"What? Why?"

"Just do it."

I shoved Shibasaki's can into my bag. Kept my personal can in my hand. Yoshikawa hid her second can behind her back.

The footsteps got closer.

The basement corner turned.

And then—

It was Hana.

Broom in one hand. Dustpan in the other. Her side braid was slightly disheveled. Her expression was tired. The kind of tired that comes from thirteen years of knowing Kenta Tanaka.

She stopped when she saw us.

Her eyes moved from me to Yoshikawa to the vending machine to the can in my hand to the can in Yoshikawa's hand to the suspicious gap behind Yoshikawa's back.

"Oh," she said. "You two are here."

It wasn't a question. It was an observation. Flat and neutral. The kind of tone that could mean anything.

"Fancy seein' ya here," Yoshikawa said, "What brings ya to the basement?"

Hana held up the broom.

"Detention duty."

"For what?"

"Pencil throwing."

. . .

Hana looked at me.

I looked at the ceiling.

The basement lights flickered.

"...Ah," Yoshikawa said. "Got it."

"Seven pencils," Hana added. "He counted."

"Course he did." Yoshikawa snorted. "He's got a whole system, don't he? Notebooks. Flowcharts. Affection meters."

Hana's eyebrow twitched. "You know about that?"

"He explained it on the roof. The childhood friend route. The ice queen route. The 'Yamada is not a romance option' disclaimer."

Hana looked at me. Her expression shifted. Not anger. Not tiredness. Something closer to resigned curiosity.

"He explained about Yamada?"

"Extensively. There's a whole hypothetical ramen shop."

Hana blinked. "The what."

"Noodle Dreams. Logo's two chopsticks formin' a heart. He's got it all planned out."

Hana turned to me.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

"Kenta."

"Yes?"

"Why is there a ramen shop in your romance flowchart?"

"It's hypothetical—"

"With a logo—" Yoshikawa added.

"Yoshikawa, please—"

"And projected first-year operating costs—"

"I didn't—" I stopped. "I never told you about operating costs."

"You didn't have to. Anyone who's planned that much has thought about overhead."

Hana stared at me.

I stared at the vending machine.

The vending machine hummed innocently.

"I was bored," I said.

"You planned a ramen shop because you were bored."

"It was a slow week."

Hana closed her eyes. Took a breath. Opened them.

"I'm transferring schools," she announced.

"You can't," I said. "It's the first day."

"There are other countries, Kenta. I could start over. Change my name. Forget I ever knew a boy who priced out ramen shop utilities while supposedly pursuing a romance route."

"You'd miss me."

"I'd miss nothing."

But her voice was softer now. The edge had worn off.

She looked at the vending machine. At the cans. At the way I was holding mine like it was evidence.

"So," she said. "You're doing a tour of the vending machine now?"

"It's legendary."

"It's broken."

"That's what makes it legendary."

She shook her head. But the corner of her mouth twitched.

Yoshikawa watched this exchange like a spectator at a tennis match. Her head turned left. Right. Left. Right.

"I don't want to be here," Hana interrupted. "You don't want me here. But I have to sweep. So sweep I shall."

She raised the broom.

And started sweeping.

Aggressively.

Each stroke scraped against the floor like a threat.

Yoshikawa watched her for a moment. Then she looked at me. Then at the can behind her back. Then at Hana.

Her eyes lit up.

Then she made her move.

"Hey, Sato."

Hana looked at her. "What."

"Ya like green tea?"

The broom stopped.

Hana's grip tightened on the handle.

"...Why?"

"No reason." Yoshikawa pulled the hidden can from behind her back. Held it out. "Here. This one's from him."

She pointed at me with her thumb.

Time stopped.

The basement lights flickered.

The vending machine hummed.

And Hana stared at the can.

Then at me.

Then back at the can.

Her cheeks turned pink.

Not red. Not flushed. Pink. A soft, spreading warmth that crawled from her neck to her ears to the apples of her cheeks.

She didn't move.

She didn't speak.

She just... stared.

. . .

What is this feeling inside me?

「 System: Childhood Friend [Hana Sato] - Affection: ... 」

「 System: ... 」

「 System: ... 」

「 System: Data corrupted. Please restart. 」

No number.

No calculation.

Just silence.

The system had never done this before.

In 342 visual novels and seventeen years of life, my internal UI had never simply... stopped.

I didn't know what that meant.

But my heart was beating faster.

And I couldn't blame it on the vending machine.

Hana reached out.

Took the can.

Her fingers brushed mine.

She didn't say thank you.

She didn't say anything.

She just turned around and walked back toward the stairs.

But her ears were red.

And she was holding the can like it was made of glass.

The basement was quiet.

Yoshikawa let out a long, slow breath.

"You're welcome," she said.

I blinked. "For what?"

"I just advanced your Childhood Friend route by like twenty points. You owe me."

"But she didn't say anything."

"She didn't have to, Tanaka. The ears don't lie." She took a sip of her can. "Trust me. That was a +20 affection point with a blush, if I've ever seen one."

「 System: Yoshikawa Maki has assumed the role of Romance Wingman. Officially. Without your consent. 」
「 Affection: 67/100. 😛」
「 Note: This is either friendship or the slowest hostile takeover in history. 」

I looked at the stairs Hana had disappeared up.

Then at Shibasaki's can in my bag.

Then at Yoshikawa, who was already opening her second can because why not.

"You're dangerous," I said.

"I prefer proactive." She clinked her can against mine. "C'mon. Let's finish these. Your ice queen's still waitin' for her cut."

I took a sip of my tea.

It was cold.

Perfect.

And for the first time in my life, I didn't check my affection meters.

Because...

...I was afraid of what it might say.

「 Childhood Friend Route: Status UNKNOWN. System malfunction detected. 」
「 Ice Queen Route: Status PENDING. Delivery required. 」
「 Wingman Route: Status ACTIVATED. You did not choose this.」