Youxian stared at the physician, who was feeling his pulse. The old man was frowning. Worried, he asked, “Have you found the answer?”
He nodded his head. “Yes, but I don’t understand. Why do you need to know?”
He could feel that his eyes wanted to water. It was eating at him, for the life of him. He regretted sleeping with Wulin. He loved the man, but he made up his mind. He was going to live for Changling and their family, this child. It can’t be.
“I want to know for myself. And Mr Kim, I ask that you please keep this between us.”
Physician Kim stared at him. He wasn’t a physician from the palace. He was the one who helped Youxian through his first pregnancy—when he received a letter from Youxian; he was surprised to find out that he could conceive again.
Nodding his head, “Why do you think it’s from recent events?”
Youxian’s heart shuddered. He had asked Physician Kim over because at least this man wasn’t going to report to his husband, and if his husband knew something, the whole palace would find out.
Seeing the worry on his face, Physician Kim rubbed his hand with a smile. “You can rest assured, patient privacy is what I live for. It’s a pity I don’t work in the palace.”
Youxian chuckled as he wiped a tear away. “Thank you, Mr Kim. I believe something impossible has occurred and I don’t want it to be true.”
He raised a brow. Youxian leaned towards his ear and told him what happened, expect the part where he unalived the person he loved.
Physician Kim began to sweat. Chuckling, he said, “Everything will be okay. Just remember, you can’t act like a crazy person. I’m not so certain you will survive after you give birth.”
Nodding his head, “Thank you, Mr Kim. Please don’t go too far. I know you like to travel.”
“Oh please, you have the best physician at your disposal–let me be.”
Staring down at Xing Guang, he asked, “Why have you grown so much? You were the size of a Pomelo the last time I saw you.”
Xing Guang wasn’t too happy to see this man. He always gave her bitter medicine to drink whenever she saw him.
She walked up to Changling and hid behind him, saying, “My father is the emperor. You can’t give me medicine.”
Physician Kim chuckled a deep belly laugh, then suddenly got serious, saying, “Do you think the emperor can stop me from giving you medicine?”
She felt a shudder run down her spine and backed away. Winking at her father, she dashed out of his study.
He chuckled with a shake of his head, then looked at Physician Kim. He was surprised when he heard that Youxian had called an outside physician to the palace, but when he heard that he was the one who took care of Xing Guang, he allowed him entrance.
“She is truly beautiful, your majesty. Can you believe the surprise when I was told she came from you? I couldn’t believe it until now.”
Changling nodded, “Yes, she really is a beaut. Now, I wonder Mr Kim. Do you know why I’ve asked you here?”
Not wanting to get into trouble, he nodded, “Yes. It would only be natural to wonder how your husband is doing, especially if he requested an outsider to see him.”
“You must understand. I find this strange. Youxia has been sick before, but he never mentioned you—I wonder if you’d be willing to share what you and my husband did in his chamber.”
Bowing, he asked, “Shouldn’t you speak with him? I’m not comfortable sharing my patient’s privacy, even with you being his husband.”
Changling stared at him. His gaze turning menacing, but he calmed down and smiled. “Youxian and I aren’t on good terms. I haven’t seen him in over a month, but I do still care about him–there is only so much kindness I can show someone. I’m sure you’ve heard about me. I’m not a patient man.”
Physician Kim’s gaze lowered. Everyone knew of how impatient their emperor was. There was less corruption now because of him and the criminals were at bay because the man in front of him was a far greater threat that you didn’t want aimed at you.
Bowing, he said, “Answering to his majesty, Youxian is a high-risk patient. I warned him before that if he were ever to fall pregnant again, he might not make it. I checked his pulse to see if his heart was beating correctly. When he was carrying the princess, his heart would start being irregularly and many a time, I would be sought out because he became unconscious. I’ve prescribed tonics for certain ailments if they occur.”
Changling nodded—this was all new to him. He wasn’t around when Youxian was pregnant and now; he wasn’t even pregnant with his child and he was going to die?
“Then, is there a way to get rid of the child? Youxian can’t die.”
Physician Kim frowned—he knew Youxian told him what happened. Was this man willing to go this far?
Nodding, he answered, “There is, but there is no guarantee that your husband will survive.”
*
Changling had moved in with Ae Cha—she too was surprised when her husband arrived one day. She was happy, but she couldn’t say so in his case. He gave her the attention she asked for, but that was it.
She wanted another child too, but it looked like he was done with her.
Arriving at the palace he had abandoned with the person he loved in it, things felt off. Making his way around the palace, everything seemed to be as he left it. But as he arrived near his chamber, he found Youxian sitting outside by the side door, rubbing his stomach with his hand covering his face.
From afar, he could tell that he was crying—but why was he crying now?
“Youxian,” he called, giving him a fright.
Youxian looked at him and Changling saw his eyes were very red–how long had he been crying?
He walked over as Youxian just stared at him, looking defeated, and looked away from him.
Stopping beside him, he looked down at him. He didn’t have much on him, just two layers of clothing and the stomach that shouldn’t be showing was visible under those two layers.
“Forgive me for not getting up to greet you. I’m not well.”
“If you’re not well, then why haven’t you called the palace physician? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
Youxian sighed, “Why don’t you just get to the point? I haven’t seen you for two months and you’re just suddenly here?”
Feeling his anger rise, he moved his hands to his back and squeezed them. “You look terrible.”
“It’s not like I have anyone to impress.”
“I’m just here to tell you I’ve arranged for my sisters to move in here and help around the palace.”
“If you’re sending them to spy on me, then don’t bother. I think the servants you sent here are doing a good job at it.” He scoffed.
Glaring at Youxian, who had no respect for him, he said, “I heard you’re going to die after giving birth.”
Youxian felt a lump in his throat. He turned to look at his husband and smiled. “I’m sure you can’t wait for me to die.”
Standing up, he said, “I’ve been wondering. Before you wanted to send me away, but suddenly changed your mind. Why? Did you have a change of heart, mn? But then you moved out of here—I guess you just can’t bear to be under the same roof as me.”
Walking up to him, he raised his hands to place them on his shoulders, but Changling stepped back out of disgust. Seeing his reaction pained his heart, but he put on a brave face and laughed, “I guess you know now how I felt when I found out you spent an evening with your wife—yes, your wife. I was pregnant with Xing Guang as you walked around the fire with her.”
Turning his back to Changling, he asked, “Why is being around you so miserable and suffocating? I can’t recall a single happy memory with you–just pain. From the first day we met, to the day you chose to marry a woman and when you took my happiness and freedom away—yet I chose you. I’m the foolish one. I even went as far as killing him so that we could be happy, but nothing could prepare me for this. Whether I die or live, don’t worry about it. You’ve already made it clear that I am nothing but a pest to you.”
