Youxian woke up disturbed out of his sleep. There was something pulling at his hair. ‘What is it? He can’t be back so soon. He just left.’ Youxian thought as he forced his eyes open, looking into the eyes he missed all too much.

He sighed, thinking of the man behind those eyes. ‘How long has it been? Am I dreaming again?’

A smile formed at Wulin’s lips as he brushed his fingers through Youxian’s hair. Tears formed in Youxian’s eyes, turning Wulin’s gaze, surprised. “What is it?” He whispered.

“I wish you were really here,” he whispered back.

Wulin chuckled, then leaned down, placing a kiss on his lips. Looking down into his confused gaze, asking, “Does that feel like a dream to you?”

Youxian blinked once.

Blinked twice.

He shot up from the bed and stared at him, conflicted. “How–how did you get in here? Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

Wulin scoffed. “He tried his best, but who does he think he is if he sends others after me instead of getting the job done himself?”

Side eyeing Youxian, he asked, “I heard you haven’t been doing well. Has he been treating you right?”

Youxian’s eyes widened, then became sad. “He has, but I don’t want to be here. Can’t you take me with you?”

“And leave Ah-Xing to fall prey to the ministers and officials?”

Youxian’s expression dropped. True, if he left now, what would become of his daughter? Glaring at the man he loved, he said, “If you didn’t come here to free me, why have you come?”

Taking his hand in his Wulin said, “You’re not a prisoner anymore. I don’t want you to harm yourself like this. You won’t live to see the day Ah-Xing gets married if this continues.”

“I want to be with you,” Youxian said, bubbling into tears.

Bringing his hand to his lips, he kissed each knuckle. Peering up into Youxian’s eyes, he said, "Then have me.”

*

Youxian took Wulin in every inch—every scent—every breath of him as Wulin swallowed every moan. Muffling his cries of pleasure, etching every part of Youxian with his being—making each second count, devouring him with beastly passion in the most terrifyingly silent way.

Who knows when they’ll meet again, but to him he had no plans to return. His heart brought him back home into Youxian’s embrace as a goodbye, but Youxian didn’t need to know this–he needed to survive.

Flooding Youxian with his passion and love will be the best gift for the years to come–he hoped, recalling how Youxian’s moods always lifted after a long night of meaningful passion. “I. Love. You.” Wulin grunted between thrusts escalating Youxian into releasing right onto his stomach.

Wulin rushed towards his own, making Youxian release the hold on his bladder.

Wulin was drenched with pleasure and smirked as he got onto his knees. “I see you’re still a bedwetter.”

Youxian blushed, running his hands over his thighs. He asked, “Isn’t that your fault?”

“How?” He asked, appalled.

“You’re just so good,” Youxian chuckled.

Wulin gave him a playful glare. “Only because you taught me well.” 

*

Youxian tilted his head to the side, enjoying the kisses Wulin peppered along his neck. Biting his shoulder followed by a kiss, he said, “I’ve been meaning to ask, why don’t you have any guards around?”

Turning around as he straddled him, Youxian hugged Wulin, saying, “They are around, just not where you can see them. They complained too much about me crying, so my husband ordered them to keep an eye on me from a distance. Same with the servants.”

Wulin pouted. “I thought I was your husband.”

Youxian sat up right and splashed him with the bathwater, “What is a grown man like you sulking about? If you didn’t want to share me, then you should’ve killed him.”

Flicking Youxian’s forehead, “You shouldn’t say that. I know you love him and he is Ah-Xing’s father.”

Standing up, he looked down at him, saying, “You are her father!”

“Legally, you are her only parent,” he said.

Climbing out of the bathtub, Youxian pulled on a robe, saying, “If you came to end things, you might as well leave now!”

Wulin shook his head. “I haven’t had enough of you. I still have to collect a year’s worth of fucking from you before I leave.”

Youxian’s eyes widened, stunned, but his body yearned for him. Laughing, Youxian shook his head.

“So, who’s better in bed? Me or your husband?”

“You both are my husbands.”

“Then me or your ex-lover?”

“I didn’t know this was a competition, Mr.”

“Always has been and always will be.” 

*

“Must you really leave?”

“Yes, I don’t want to get caught and be executed on the spot.”

Youxian frowned. Thinking about Changling’s temperament. Sighing, he said, “I don’t think he would. He knows that you are a big part of our lives.”

Wulin smiled. He had thought about that, too. If Changling really wanted him dead, he would have done it himself or sent Qinghe after him.

Looking at him, Youxian asked, “Is this the end?”

Wulin chuckled, “You can tell?”

“Why didn’t you just pretend to be dead?”

“Because I don’t want you to suffer. We may not see each other again after this, but I wanted you to know that there is no reason to ruin your life for me.”

Sighing as he wiped the tears away, Youxian nodded, “Thanks.”

Walking up to him, he cupped his face and gave him a kiss on the lips. “I’ll always love you, my darling.”

Youxian nodded his head weakly. “Be safe out there.”

“Mn, I’ll watch my back.”

*

Wulin arrived back at the place he was hiding in for the week. He opened the door with a sigh, thinking back to the hours he spent with his loved one. He didn’t know it would be this hard to leave him, especially since he was the one who decided on it.

‘Maybe I should’ve stayed away.’ Closing the door behind him, he walked a few steps, then froze. His heart trembled in confusion. “What—what are you doing here?”

Dressed in the wonderful outfit he was gifted not too long ago by Wulin, Youxian crossed his right leg over his left leg. Running a hand over the leather boots with a smile on his face, Youxian said, “It took you a while to come back. Where were you?”

Wulin looked around, confused. “What’s going on here? How did you find this place?”

He was sure Youxian had passed out when he left, so what was he doing here?

Youxian shook his head, amused. Staring at him, he said, “You know you mean so much to me, Wulin. I don’t think I can let you go.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

Youxian stood up. Walking elegantly towards him, he smiled. Stopping in front of him, he placed his hands on Wulin’s chest and ran them down till his stomach and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Leaning his head against his chest, he listened to his heartbeat saying, “I love you so much, Wulin. If I can’t have you, then how can I let you go once you’ve come to me?”

Wulin felt a chill creep up his spine. Youxian moved his right arm behind his back, took out a knife from the back of his pants and stabbed it between Wulin’s ribs.

Wulin gasped from the sharp pain as his eyes widened. Youxian turned his head facing up at Wulin, who was now staring down at him.

“Wh-why?” Wulin asked him as he grabbed onto Youxian’s waist.

“Why? Must you ask why? Didn’t I tell you I love you? You wanted to leave me. I can’t have you leaving me, not now, never.”

As the blood poured out of his mouth, he felt Youxian twist the knife, pushing it deeper into his lungs.

“And I can’t have him kill you, not now, never.”

Wulin pushed back from him, taking three steps as he felt the knife pull out of his body. He felt dizzy and nauseous as he pressed his hand against the wound and looked at it.

Staring at the blood in his hand, he felt weak in the knees and dropped down. Looking at Youxian, who knelt down in front of him, he heard, “Close your eyes and go to sleep. When you wake up, you’ll be in a better place.”

“A place where you won’t be?” Wulin asked with a tired smile.

“I’ll see you in a few years, or maybe sooner.”

“No, you won’t follow me. I want you to be happy and stay healthy.” Youxian nodded his head. “I will. From today, you’ll be with me forever, won’t you?”

Wulin cupped his face, giving him a bloody smile. Nodding his head, “I will, my darling.”

Youxian couldn’t hold it in anymore and let his tears fall. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, okay?”

Wulin nodded. Leaning his forehead against Youxian, he mumbled, “You’re so selfish.”

As he dropped down onto the ground, Youxian stared at the wall. His eyes lowered slowly, turning distraught as he said, “You shouldn’t have stayed by my side if you were just going to run away and hide.”