The room I'm placed in was just a private room due to how there were less patients currently being handled. Plus, I'm knowned by the doctor so he had put me into this room such that he can diagnose me quietly and talk more privately with him.

However, I wanted to shout due to a single statement my girlfriend uttered. 

The what now? 

"Ah, are you talking about biology class? Thats fine actually since my classmate can cover for me and..." - Zekie

"Zekie. I know you aren't that dense and I'm being straight with you here." - Kathie

"........" - Zekie

To be honest, I expected Kathie to be this bold of her since she knows how my interactions with girls are lately and... Surprising, it didn't seem well how she handles them.

I won't lie but I've always been social with people all around me and that I rarely spend time with Kathie after the time we gone out on an amusement park. Its like I'm always been like avoiding her and all. 

I honestly don't even know how relationships go. I never gone out with friends, dated a girl or any other things like outdoor socializing other than looking at advices on the internet or asking from other people.

Knowing I am a failure as a boyfriend, I held her hand in a sad look and stared downwards at her, not being able to look up. 

"K-kathie... I don't know...." -Zekie

I'm just confused. 

For a long time since I was born, I always been alone and the only guide I know off had just passed on. Can't do anything right, always scared to mess up and not knowing where to go other than improving myself, its like I can't be ready to take on responsibilty.

All other guys can stay positive and all because they have something they want and will work for it while I just worked hard because I need to. I always felt like working my best would lead to my answer but... 

"I always felt like you know what you want and I just don't have the drive to support you. I...." - Zekie

The core of my gynophobia isn't because I'm afraid of girls but more on having the responsibility of loving a person. 

After meeting Rose, I thought that my gynophobia would be cured if I interact with her and be done with it. But no, I just didn't realize it. 

The rejection, my mother's death and my father's adultery.... 

It all culminated in me having my psyche being confused and untrustworthy of everything around me.

I thought a Yandere might help me find solace but.... 

She just made me discover out my true self.

I'm not worthy of being loved anymore..... 

"Kathie..... C-can I really fall in love with you....?" - Zekie

I couldn't say that I want to break up with her nor reject her love for me. So, I wanted to ask her this just to know if I can love her the way she loves me. 

Yet, she didn't give me an answer but instead decides to hug me. 

"Zekie...I'll help you." - Kathie

She held be slowly such that my injuries won't cause me pain while she let me rest my head into her shoulder like being caressed by a mother over her child. Kathie had know much about me that she was happy that I relied so much to her. She knows that I usually hid secrets to myself that won't share even to my family and knows that while I can't fully trust her, I relied her to keep my secrets.

She had accepted that I can't trust her since my trust is harder to earn that I'm not even worthy of it myself. Yet, she's just satisfied of my secrets for now as I'm happy she didn't go crazy for it.

"But.... It will only work if you follow my words. Alright?" - Kathie

I know that Kathie might be able to help me but why do I need to listen to her words? 

"Wait, do you know what you-" - Zekie

"Look, do you want me to help you or not?" - Kathie

This situation seems kinda odd and somehow foreboding to listen to her every words but since I'm the incompetent boyfriend over the relationship, maybe she knows what she's doing.

"Okay. I follow." - Zekie

"Excellent! (Yes! He will do as I say! Hehehe...)" - Kathie

I was looking down onto the bed that I couldn't see her expression but the way she said it was kinda excited..... Nonono. She knows whats she doing and I shouldn't judge her for it. I am a bad boyfriend afterall.

But now that I am in a proper relationship, I shouldn't always be leading on in helping her. She should also be leading as well and help me get better-

"My advice is that you should stop talking to girls." - Kathie

-or not?

"Wait, shouldn't you encourage me to cure my gynophobia? Isn't it like the reason why I talk to girls?" - Zekie

Clearly something is up with this advice of hers that felt odd. I don't think I should rely on a yandere for this-

"Zekie, its mainly because you interact with multiple girls that you spread out yourself and not look deeper into your fears. It isn't about talking to girls but mainly how you feel your love to me." - Kathie

Kathie began to go on teaching me how I should be better and learn from my mistakes while she talks on advices and other things. It would seem that her statement of us continuing to the adult stuff were to be canceled but she seems to enjoy this far better than what we originally planned but maybe this is what she meant of us in mutual agreement.

I tried to find something odd about the way she forces me to not only stop my goodwill to others but also to avoid girls altogether but she seems to feel serious like my phobia is that kind of dangerous sickness that must be cured.

By the time Trish had woken up, both of them had to leave due to overstaying as I waved them off goodbye and left the room, giving me time to think about things Kathie and I were talking about. 

To be honest, she's kinda right.

I always been someone who isn't right in the head, mostly focusing others rather than myself. Being selfish is something I could do instead of looking out for others. But... 

'Is my mom's and Kathie contradictory?' This gave me some deep thoughts that I should think about as I look through more to this.

To be honest, putting my reliance on a Yandere is asking if I wanted a psychopath to lead me to something crazy but.... 

'Am I sane to begin with?' - Zekie

I am already dating a crazy girl who sees any woman as a threat, has selfish desires that she is just holding it in due to being considerate to me and I basically trying to stretch it thin already. Shouldn't I be more myself and let our relationship flow more? 

"I could give in and do it with her.... Nonono. Thats a bad idea." - Zekie

While I did consider sex to be an option, I feel like we should treasure our first time to feel special. If we just did that, it basically just lust for both sides and not something worth developing on.

Kathie seems incessant on this but I know that doing this would lead to our relationship to stay on lust instead of love. She loves me so much yet I can't seem to give her love back the way she did.

Inviting her to a date, giving her presents.... Thats all I know apart from trying to make her happy yet.... 

"I really am hopeless..." - Zekie

Its been almost two weeks since we began dating and I rarely been spending much time other than doing my normal routine. Most couples might be doing this and that but our relationship is so distant that I started to feel that this is why she became more desperate as time goes on....

'Ugh... Reading novels is better than.... Ah.' - Zekie

I honestly forgot. I had a forum full of weirdos whose collective mind is full of ideas. Even if some are trash, they are still helpful tips I can follow and it might help me in this situation.

Honestly, because I've been busy dealing with so much things that I haven't tried relying on those crazy bastards on the internet as of now. It might be bad to fully rely on them but for people who might have similar situations, it might still be useful to get on their advices.

One thing particular is that there might be a group of people who enjoys Yanderes and might give out tips for someone like me. It sounds crazy but after dealing with a crazy girl, honestly, its better than nothing.

I decided to grab on to my phone and whilist began typing with my barely injured arm which wasn't my dominant but it can be doable as of now.

"How to Satisfy a Yandere?"