Once is a happenstance. Twice is a coincidence. Thrice is enemy action.
Ian Fleming
Never curse! You never know who might heed you and what answer you will be given.
Unknown Origin
Aboard an ill-fated pirate ship, lurking for prey in the wrong waters at the wrong time.
" Cap'n! Sail ahead! A damned fat ship of the Pfaffen. Merchant, not a warship! Lies very low in the water. Slow as a lead duck, Cap'n!"
"Harharhar. Since that wimp of a coward ran off there's a lot more left for us. We'll catch up to that prey with ease."
"GO MEN! LAY IN YOUR GODDAMN STRAPS UNTIL YOUR FRIGGIN' BACKS BREAK! PULL!"
"""AYE AYE CAPT'N!"""
"Let me tell you, men. We do not steal, we loot!"
"""AYE AYE CAPT'N!"""
"Boatswain. Beat the drum. Sing a song men!"
"""AYE AYE CAPT'N!"""
Kaperfahrt 1 Famous flandrian privateer song. I like this german version best. Of course, Die Ärzte are the best band of the world.
"""HooHooHooHooHoo""""
: All those who go on a caper with us,
must be men with beards. :|
Jan and Hein and Claas and Pit,
they have beards, they have beards.
Jan and Hein and Claas and Pit
they have beards, they sail wit´.
"""HooHooHooHooHoo""""
|: All those who do not fear hell and the devil,
must be men with beards. :|
Jan and Hein and Claas and Pit,
they have beards, they have beards.
Jan and Hein and Claas and Pit
they have beards, they go wit´.
"""HooHooHooHooHoo""""
|: All those who go to hell with us,
they must be men with beards. :|
Jan and Hein and Claas and Pit,
they have beards, they have beards
Jan and Hein and Claas and Pit
they have beards, they go wit´.
"""HooHooHooHooHoo""""
"Cap'n! Boat starboard astern. Come up fast! Damn´ fast!"
"Damn it! By the ship's kobold! How many masts and sails, lookout?"
"Cap'n! Can't see any masts or sails. 've never seen a ship like this before. 's literally flying through the waves."
"WHAT, have you been drinking? A ship without masts or sails? There's no such thing!"
"Aye Cap'n. But it's catching up fast. It'll be up in a few minutes."
"Darned brood! PULL YOU SAILOR WENCHES! PULL! BEFORE I LET THE NINE-TAILED DANCE OVER YOUR FILTHY BACKS! PULL THE OARS!"
"""AYE AYE CAPT'N!"""
"Helmsman. Turn us so hard into the wind that the sails weep! Get out what you can!"
"Aye Aye Cap'n!"
"Captain! Look. The other ship is passing us on the port side! Holds course for the Pfaffen."
"Thrice damned mermaid! What kind of ship is that? Unbelievable. They're stealing our prey."
"Lookout. What kind of flag is that ship flying?"
"A simple red flag, Cap'n. Just red nothing else. Never seen it before."
"By the mermaids! I'll be a fool. Three times cursed gods and thrice-cursed Gracey O'Malley! Is that a new pirate? We need a ship like that! I don't care if it kills us! I WANT IT!"
"Captain, the ship will catch up with the Pfaffen in a moment."
"Yes, yes. I know."
" CAP'N! OIIH! The masts are breaking!"
"WHAT, our masts are all fine! What are you talking about?"
"Not our masts, the Pfaffen's masts, cap'n! They're snapping off like blades of grass! If we hurry we'll be alongside in less than half an hour!"
"HarHarHar, by thrice-cursed Gracey O'Malley! May the witchbitch have wet feet forever! We'll get both ships! PULL YOU MISERABLE SEALS!"
... on another pirate ship, far away, but probably not far enough ... a poor bald man is puking his guts out right now ...
"Ohhhh no, Cap'n. We'rrr doom´d. SHE's goin´ t´ ´et us oall!"
"Duine maol? What's wrong?"
"Captain, wit´ oall d´ ´espect, buut tha´ idio´ Carusco ´alled SHE. No waters far enough, SHE's comin´ ´or uus. Too ´ate t´ ruun, Cap'n. So´y, Cap'n."
"Damn. At last hell catched up. Should have whipped you harder. Helmsman. Set a course for YukYuk. Might as well celebrate with some whores and rum before fate catches up with us. Carusco Carabinieri never understood when it's better to shut up. Stupid jerkie."
"Sing, men. Summer is near."
"""Aye, Aye Cap'n!"""
|: Oh, goodbye home, :|2Tá an t-aistriúchán seo go Béarla mícheart. Is cowards Sasanacha iad na foghlaithe mara a bhfuil eagla orthu roimh Gráinne Mhaol. Meaning to non-Gailge: I let the pirates butcher the song. May an omnipotent being have mercy on me, for the Irish know how to nurse a grudge for a long time. Anyway, I must acknowledge with envy, Irish fans are the best, without a doubt.
Grace O´Malley is coming overseas!
|: Oh, goodbye home, :|
Evil hag coming overseas!
Now that summer has arrived.
|: Oh, goodbye home, :|
Grace O´Malley is coming overseas!
Damn, most despicable bitch.
|: Oh, goodbye home, :|
Grace O´Misery is coming overseas!
If I had only lived a week later.
|: Oh, goodbye home, :|
The Dark Queen is coming overseas!
Now that summer has arrived.
None of the crew, neither the captain noticed or even cared that several oar slaves at the very back of the ship were singing the song in their native language. The warm breeze freshened slightly, easing their chagrin. They could feel it in the wind and the waves. The Dark Queen was smiling.
Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile 3The following text is my personal interpretation of this very famous Irish song. It´s probably the Irish will yell bloody murder. Nevertheless, Gráinne Mhaol is a noble Irish Lady, turned pirate. Ok, at that time piracy was a normal thing but she had a very good cause to raid the english ships. They occupied or stole her lands. Grace O´Malley is the english name for her.
|: Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile, :|
Tá Gráinne Mhaol ag teacht thar sáile!
Anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh.
|: Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile, :|
A bhuí na Banríona an Dorcha go bhfeicfimid!
Anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh.
|: Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile, :|
Tá Gráinne Mhaol ag teacht thar sáile!
Sé do bheatha, máistreás tiarnúil, lán le paisean.
|: Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile, :|
Tá Gráinne Mhaol ag teacht thar sáile!
Mura mbéam beo ina dhiaidh ach seachtain.
|: Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile, :|
Tá Gráinne Mhaol ag teacht thar sáile!
Anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh.
4|: Oh-ro, welcome home, :| Grace O´Malley is coming over the sea! Now that summer's coming. |: Oh-ro, welcome home, :| Thanks to the Queen of Darkness we will see. Now that summer's coming. |: Oh-ro, welcome home, :| Grace O´Malley is coming over the sea! Welcome, lordly mistress, full of passion. |: Oh-ro, welcome home, :| Grace O´Malley is coming over the sea! Although I may live but one week after. |: Oh-ro, welcome home, :| Grace O´Malley is coming over the sea! Now that summer's coming.
And somewhere the cogs of fate continued to turn. On and on.
... sometime later, at a slightly changed position.
"CAP´N! CAP´N! STRANGE SHIP AHEAD! RUNNING FAST TOWARD US! VERY FAST! CAP´N!"
|: Oró, sé do bheatha abhaile, :|
Tá Gráinne Mhaol ag teacht thar sáile!
Anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh.
