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EXPLODING BRIDGES

It started with that damned promise he made over ten years ago.

"Katsuki," Mitsuki said, "you are a strong boy, so take care of little Izumi, alright?"

He frowned. Not because such a task annoyed him, but because it offended him that his mother thought she needed to ask.

"Duh! Of course, I will, mom. I promise!"

That was a mistake, but he wouldn't realize it until much later.

(…)

Izumi was his best friend.

The other kids in his group found that silly because she was a girl, but he couldn't see the problem.

Yeah, Izumi was soft-spoken and a bit shy, but she wasn't as fragile and bothersome as most girls were. She had no problem running around and playing with him and the others even when things got rough. Despite her girly appearance, she was tomboyish like that. But more important than anything else, she loved All Might and wanted to be a great hero like him, just as Katsuki did.

He even got a funny nickname for her.

Deku!

His friends laughed because it meant useless but it was simply easier to pronounce than Izumi, it sounded nice, and she didn't seem to mind when he used it.

He promised himself, they would get their Quirks and grow to be amazing heroes! He would be the No.1, of course, but Izumi would do a good job as the No.2.

They would be the strongest heroes in the whole world!

(…)

One afternoon, while playing with Izumi, he finally got his Quirk.

Explosion, the doctor called it; it left him to create explosions with his sweat. With such a cool Quirk, he should be happy and celebrating, but he wasn't.

The reason was the terrible way in which he discovered his ability.

He had hurt Izumi. Now, a nurse was healing the burning he caused in her shoulder. It had been a total accident. No one's blame, really, but he could still remember the horrifying way she screamed in pain.

He didn't know how he hadn't started crying yet. Probably because he didn't have the right to. He simply stared at the ground.

He had expected someone to scold him and tell him it was his fault. To be punished for his actions, but it didn't happen.

Auntie Inko and Izumi herself didn't blame him.

Not even his temperamental mother did. Mitsuki just looked at him with a sad expression, her eyes full of pity.

He didn't like it.

(…)

Everyone he met commented how amazing was his Quirk and what a great hero he would be when he got older. It wasn't anything he didn't know already, but it still felt great to hear.

However, he just needed to gaze at Izumi to feel all that pride vanish.

He couldn't understand why.

He had apologized already. Izumi wasn't scared of him or anything like that; she would smile at him like always. And yet, he felt something huge had changed between them and somehow only he had realized.

He hated it.

Katsuki couldn't wait for her to get her Quirk. Maybe then, things would return to normal.

(…)

Izumi was Quirkless.

She told him between tears and he was unable to do anything to calm her down. He was just too shocked.

Then, it was the first time he heard it.

This shouldn't be a surprise. You already knew something was off about her.

All his dreams of them fighting against villains together wouldn't ever happen.

You were right all the time, she was a Deku.

(…)

Katsuki's friends weren't talking with him. That was expected after he beat them up.

They deserved it, though.

For months, since Izumi was diagnosed Quirkless, they had started being mean to her. At first, he didn't mind it; they were just messing with her a little, nothing really bad. They were kids, and kids made fun of each other all the time, but his inaction emboldened them and soon they got meaner.

Each time Izumi looked close to the tears, he intervened. Only with some words, at first, telling them to stop with their bullshit and leave Izumi alone.

And it worked, for a while. But as time passed, they stopped taking his warnings seriously.

Then one day, long-fingers said something stupid.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Kacchan, we'll let your dear girlfriend alone," he said with a smirk, making the rest of the group laugh.

Feeling embarrassed, Izumi hid behind him. That only worsened the boiling heat in the deep of his stomach.

It wasn't the first time his so-called friends said something like that, but normally they only did it behind his back.

Not anymore. It was Obvious to Katsuki now, they had lost their respect for him.

"Repeat that," he said, clenching his fists.

"What? Is it Kacchan going to cry-?" Before the boy could finish, Katsuki blasted him away with his Quirk. His frien-, no, his lackeys were so close to each other, that made them fall to the ground in a mess of limbs.

Katsuki glared at them, memorizing each of their stupid scared faces.

They had been looking down on him all these last months. But why? He was the same as always. Nothing about him had changed.

It's Deku. She is weak. And acting like her little bodyguard makes you look as pathetic as her. Now they finally realized that you aren't that special.

"I SAID FUCKING REPEAT THAT!" he yelled, his anger burning dangerously. He was about to hit them a second time when someone caught his arm.

"No, K-Kacchan, don't do it! T-that's wrong!"

Katsuki's blood ran cold.

Was she really siding with the same assholes that were bullying her instead of him who was supposed to be his friend?

During that moment of hesitation, the kids took the chance to run away.

Angered, he pulled his arm away and turned to glare at Izumi. She looked uncomfortable but kept his gaze.

Why is someone like her our friend anyway?

"YOU USELESS IDIOT!" He yelled and ran away.

Even late that night, he could still remember the hurt expression on her face.

(…)

That weekend he didn't get out of his room. He didn't want to deal with Izumi. Instead, he passed all afternoon watching All Might videos on the PC.

Eventually, he found one that called his attention. It was titled 'All Might saves pro-hero!'.

It started with this mutant heroine who tried to stop a villain with a sand Quirk. She looked strong and had this nice smile that reminded him of Izumi. But despite her best effort, the villain defeated her, and when the villain was about to finish her off, All Might arrived and saved the day.

Katsuki saw the video about a dozen times and it didn't stop being shocking. Because it was the first time he realized even heroes could lose.

That heroine did and she was strong. So what was supposed to happen to someone like Izumi?

She is a Quirkless nobody… A Deku. So what do you think will happen?

"They will kill her."

And as angry as he still was, he didn't want that to happen to her.

She won't be a hero. She can't. She is just a Deku.

All her aspirations were meaningless. Foolish.

Besides himself, he always thought she was the more likely to be a hero from all the kids his age, but it was just the opposite.

She was just an extra. Possibly the greatest extra of all. And as such, she would have a completely normal and uneventful life.

There was no place for her in his world. In the world of Heroes. And the longer she tricked herself into thinking she had a chance, the worst she would get hurt in the end.

So from that day on, he started avoiding Deku.

(…)

Some years passed, and still, every time he saw someone trying to bully Deku he felt his blood boil. But he couldn't defend her directly or she would get her hopes up in that they were still friends.

So he tried to help indirectly.

"What are you doing wasting your time with useless Deku? Are you seriously that fucking sad you don't have anything better to do? That's fucking pathetic!" he would say stuff like that to shift the attention to him while giving the impression he gave a shit about Deku.

By her expression, she felt troubled, but there was nothing he could do about it.

If it wasn't for that fucking promise your life would be a lot easier. Why are you still trying to keep it? It's not like you are doing a good job at it, anyway.

He didn't know the answer. He was aware his oath of protecting her had degenerated and lost its value. But he didn't know what else to do.

He didn't know a lot of stuff.

(…)

Katsuki was thirteen years old and was in middle school. Deku wasn't in his class.

He barely crossed with her in the hallways these days. That silly hopeful expression she usually carried when she saw him had faded considerably too. Some weird emotion in her eyes.

It made sense. They hadn't exchanged any words in months. He was vaguely aware of some rumors that she was taking self-defense classes, but just the prospect of it sounded ridiculous.

Still, his promise hadn't finished yet. As long as they were still in the same school, he had to keep an eye on her.

It was easy. Even though he couldn't be there with Deku, all he needed was to make use of a bit of intimidation, beating the shit out from some assholes, to make sure no one in Deku's class would touch one hair from her head.

So he was shocked when one day, he crossed with Izumi and she glared at him.

That weird emotion from before was now clear. She was pissed off, and he didn't need to ask why.

She knew what he had been doing to protect her. And she didn't approve it.

He rolled his eyes, acting like the whole thing didn't affect him, and walked away.

Deku had never looked at you with such hate. Did you feel scared for a moment there? No… Was it regret…?

But there was no point in regretting now. Soon he would graduate and enter UA, and he wouldn't see Deku's face ever again.

(…)

About three years had passed. He had made it to UA's Hero Course… And Deku did too. Worse, they were even in the same class.

It didn't make any fucking sense for a Quirkless person to make it in. Had she cheated somehow? But someone like Deku didn't have the guts for such a thing.

Can you be so sure of that? You don't even know her anymore.

He shook his head. The idea was ridiculous. Despite everything, if someone knew what Deku was capable of, it was him.

He controlled his frustration. It was just a question of time. She would end up in the last place of Aizawa's test and then her luck would run out.

But when it was her turn for the long jump exercise, she made an unusually good job. There was something quite off about her jump, but he tried to ignore it.

So she was in a better form than he assumed. Who cared? As he told those extras, Deku would get the boot in the end anyway.

But then, some minutes later, it happened.

"SMASH!"

She actually got a higher score than him in the ball throw, saving herself from the apparent expulsion.

His confusion and disbelief changed to anger.

Told ya. You don't know Deku at all.

(…)

Deku was his opponent (Round-cheeks and Robot-douche were there too, but he gave a shit about them).

It couldn't fucking be. He couldn't go against her.

Sure fate must have been laughing their ass off at him.

He had committed lots of fuck ups with Deku, but actually fighting her…

If you crush her absolutely, maybe she will finally realize the mess she is getting into and how weak she actually is...

Just the idea was making him want to throw up. But it wasn't like he had another option. He couldn't allow himself to lose either.

But you have. There's always another option. You are just too coward to consider any of them.

He ran through the building until she found her. Standing there, waiting for him.

"What are you fucking doing here, Deku?"

In that exercise, he was the hero, just as he wanted. But he would need to play the villain this time.

(…)

He lost.

He did everything he could to stop her.

First, he tried to talk her down into giving up from the very start. He said things he never intended, each more awful than the previous one. And when that didn't work, he forced himself to fight her. Thinking himself superior, he pulled his punches, expecting her to lose her bravery anyway.

But in the end, he lost, even if just by a technicality as a time limit.

He underestimated her. She passed his test and broke all his misconceptions. Her strength and braveness weren't fake.

The small and fragile weak girl he used to know had changed. Maybe she didn't even exist, and his stupid attempts to 'help her' had made her life just harder than it needed to be.

"I truly messed up everything, did I?" he said while walking home.

Yes. You did.

Since that day, he left Izumi to her own devices as much as he could.

They weren't friends, rivals, or enemies. They were nothing.

(…)

It was the day of the Sports Festival.

Katsuki was sitting in the waiting room, his third match would be in only some minutes. Meanwhile.

It was in moments like these, in complete solitude, that he couldn't but think about all the mistakes that had cost him his friendship with Izumi. All the reasons that had made her hate him.

Even if he wanted to, it was too fucking late to apologize for everything.

Aren't you just scared that she won't accept your sorry excuses? Or is it just your lame pride?

He snorted. What pride?

His failure with Izumi had proven he wasn't as infallible as he once thought.

The same happened to his pride as the more likely to surpass All Might. After that fated match against Izumi and everything that followed, he had realized he was just one of the thousands of stars in the sky.

All his classmates were as amazing as him. If not even more. Strong in ways he couldn't dream to be. Even if he considered them as extras in his life, he was just an extra in theirs'.

He wasn't special.

From the way Icy-hot didn't even consider him a threat to how easy it was for Raccoon-eyes to hurt him, and how close was Vines to win their match.

Yes. Fuck his pride. The only thing he had left was the confidence he had in the hard work he put into building his strength and his stupid big mouth to bluff all his way to whatever expected him at the end of his path.

Because acting like the bastard everyone thought he was -the bastard he had turned into- helped him to hide the cracks in his armor and the insecurities that hid behind.

Maybe it was cowardly. Maybe it was utterly stupid. But that was his only option, and it would need to be enough. After all, it was depending on that, he somehow made it through his previous matches.

Only because your opponents didn't want to hurt you. They aren't violent psychos like you.

He gritted his teeth and grabbed his head roughly, trying to drown that damn voice and the stupid dark thoughts that were plaguing him.

Unfortunately, he chose a bad moment to have a breakdown.

"B-Bakugo."

Round-cheeks stood in from of the door frame, looking at him with a weird expression. He didn't even notice her approaching.

Of course, it had to be her. The last person he wanted to see him in such a state. Not only was she his next opponent… She was also so similar to Deku in all the worst/best ways.

He immediately schooled his expression into a scowl. "W-what are doing here? Can't you wait for me to kick your ass, huh?!"

She frowned slightly. "I could tell you the same."

"What?!" He lifted an eyebrow.

"This is my waiting room."

"Uh?" He stood up and moved to the exit. "What the fuck are you saying? That's-!" When he looked at the door's number, it was indeed the wrong one. It looked like he was so distracted he simply walked inside the closest room he found. "Shit… W-whatever." He was going to walk away before the girl grabbed the back of his shirt, stopping him. "What?"

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He simply stared at her, not understanding the question.

Why was she even asking that when she obviously didn't care? She couldn't care. Not only they weren't friends. By the way, he had acted towards her, Deku and Frog-face, he would say she probably hated him. So why bother with acting as if she was worried about him.

Except maybe she wasn't faking it. She had the same worried expression he had seen on Deku numerous times before when they were younger.

It used to make him angry. Because he wasn't the one who needed to be protected, but the protector. Or that's how it was supposed to be.

"No," he muttered.

"Eh, what did you say?"

"I said…!" He exhaled heavily to stop the irrational anger that tried to take hold of him. "I'm NOT okay," he said, avoiding her gaze. "But you can't do anything about it, so it doesn't matter."

He almost wanted to punch himself for saying that much.

"Bakugo!" she yelled, making him look at her face. "If you don't take our match seriously because you are feeling mopey, I won't forgive you!"

He was shocked at her nerve. "The fuck are you saying?!"

She looked somewhat embarrassed of having said such a thing, but she continued, "you said before that you wanted me and Deku-chan to fight with everything we had and I'm expecting the same from you… Otherwise, it w-won't be satisfying when I win!"

Round-cheeks was forcing herself to say that. Even if she thought that way, it was clearly excruciating for her to say it out loud. She was simply trying to animate him or some weird shit.

He expected to feel anger, but for some ridiculous reason, he couldn't but cackle. "Aren't you getting a big-head there, huh, Round-cheeks?!" He smirked.

"Isn't that you?" She pouted.

"We'll see that! You just said it, Round-cheeks!" He pointed his finger at her. "Don't dare to disappoint me!" Then, he turned around and walked away.

It was weird.

Nothing had really been resolved. His mistakes and his sins were still there. Same with his shitty personality; he was still the same bastard as always. And he was so lost as before.

But things still felt different.

Brighter. Like maybe there was still hope for him.

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