Slade’s party finally conquered the ore mine, converting into a new Dungeon town. To celebrate this victory, Violet unleashed a mysterious massive spell.
The setting sun cast beautiful orange lights on the snowy mountain peaks.
“Really can’t see shit outside…” an infernal troglodyte muttered, blinded by the sunlight.
He stuck a paper magazine right into his face.
The ‘bright side’ was that black ink absorbed more sunlight radiation than the blank paper, improving the heat infrared contrast of the text. Hence, the troglodytes could read despite not having eyes.
“Hmm?” He turned Eastward.
His instincts sensed a pressure, as if someone was about to unleash a spell right next to him. But nobody was there.
“Must have been a fly…”
While Violet performed shining miracles of Eath magic in the eastern ore mine, Dungeon overlords were diligently working all over the world.
The overlord rook waited alone at a cave on the western side of the mountain.
He was an infernal variant of troglodytes, a lizard-looking humanoid with spikes on his back and brown patterns over his scaly skin.
Despite wearing an intimidating set of Overlord armor with horns, spikes, and belts, he was casually engrossed in reading in the middle of neutral territory.
He didn’t even lift his head when a huge flying monster with a lion head, bat wings and scorpion tail landed near him.
“Farlach, are you alone?”
A middle-aged looking woman stood atop the flying monster, pulling him from his musings. update 08-20-21
“Yes, I sent the rookie with the warlock to claim the artifact themselves.”
The amber haired woman rubbed her chin, caressing the mole next to her mouth. Her purple eyes peered into him.
“I did ask you to train them but...” the sovereign said.
Farlach didn’t like it when she put her nose into his methods.
“Don’t worry, they should be here any-” he said.
“aaaaaaAaAaAaAAAAAA-” screams echoed from the cave, and grew louder as its source approached.
Farlach jumped on the lion-headed flying monster, landing next to the middle-aged sovereign.
“Scorpicore, take some distance please.”
Their flying steed took off, circling in the sky.
“-AAAAAAAAAHH!”
A red-haired woman dashed from the cave, carrying a blond boy in one arm, and a red two-handed flamberge in the other.
She had freckles, red horns, and a reptilian tail dangling from her butt.
Throwing the kid on the ground, she could finally catch her breath.
“Ow!”
“Farlach! Huff- I got the sword! Huff- Help!” the red-haired woman yelled,
“What are you saying? It’s your training, you’re supposed to kill them all by yourselves!” the troglodyte shouted from the scorpicore’s back.
“What the hell, man?! You sent us with a pair of troglodytes and you only told us to get the relic!” the kid screamed.
“Minotaurs are lower tiers than you, so why are you complaining? You have skills, use them! What about your new artifact?”
“I don’t even know what it does!” the red-haired horned woman protested.
“Then read its description, haha!” Farlach said.
“Shitshitshi- Ah- Reddragonflametongueweaponart-”
“And you goldilocks! Do you want to be featured in ‘useless rooks’ magazines again?” Farlach shouted.
“No way I’m doing this shi-! Oof!”
While the blond kid tried to run away, the red-haired woman tackled him by reflex. She grew used to stopping him from running away during the whole cave exploration.
“Fuck, alright!” The blond boy sluggishly got up, drawing his wand and spellbook.
The sovereign stared at Farlach, raising her eyebrows.
“Please stop looking at me like that. You told me to train her as fast as possible,” he said.
“Raaaaah!” A crowd of minotaur finally emerged from the cave. They charged at their two targets as soon as their eyes were accustomed to the light.
Large bat wings unfolded from the boy’s back. He hovered a few centimeters from the ground, releasing his magical sigils.
His spellbook spat out a cloud of sparkling dust which gathered into clumps around him. Eventually, the harmless looking powder turned into dozens of floating swords.
“Magic arrow!”
The swords flung at the minotaurs, slicing and stabbing their flesh. Once they lost their momentum, they scattered back into nothingness.
It was his expert earth version of magic arrow -Blade Dance-.
The three minotaurs leading the charge stumbled from pain. But the horde of angry minotaurs leaped over the fallen comrades and headed straight at the rookie.
“I’m out!” the blond boy turned around, only to see the rookie holding a scorching flaming sword downward.
“Wai-” he dashed away from the red-haired woman.
She screamed, stabbing the sword into the ground.
A sphere of flame engulfed the minotaurs, the rookie and the boy.
“Oh my…” the sovereign muttered.
The flame receded, and the rookie was fanning fresh air to dismiss the smoke. The boy rolled on the ground to put out the fire on his half burnt hair.
“Ah-”
A two-handed axe struck into her abdomen, sending her flying. She was knocked out, crashing into a tree.
“Farlach, stop fucking around and save meeeee-” the kid screamed as a minotaur lifted his axe right above him.
A translucent spear landed between the minotaur’s and the kid’s legs, startling both.
“I’m going! Brace yourself,” Farlach said as he lowered his helmet’s visor.
“Hmm? AH!” the sovereign yelped.
Farlach kicked the scorpicore so hard that it dropped a few meter down.
For an instant, he soared into the sky like a dragon. Picking up tremendous speed, his figure sundered the sky as he fell down.
BOOM!
He landed right in front of the minotaur’s leader, leaving a crater from his two-handed spear’s impact.
“What in the world-” the minotaur king stuttered. He froze, realizing that Farlach already brought the tip of the spear against his neck.
The blanking monster dropped his axe, and his followers dashed back into the cave.
[The minotaurs awed by the power of your force, begin to scatter. Do you wish to pursue and engage them?]
Farlach relaxed, leaning his spear against his shoulder.
“It's useless if I receive all the experience points. Rookie, goldilocks, go back inside,” he said.
The red-haired, bloodied woman limped back from the tree, but she froze hearing that order.
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh?!”
The blond kid already transformed into a full scorpicore and flew away.
“Farlach, that’s enough with the training. I need them both in good condition to go beyond the mountain range,” the sovereign said as her steed landed.
The red haired woman spread her arms to the sky, thanking the heavens for their mercy.
“What? But Amber, she’s not ready! We barely even started! She has no experience leading an army!”
“It cannot wait. My plan must proceed to its next stage, in the one in a million chance that another sovereign else replaces that bitch. So it’s fine as long as she knows how to fly,” the sovereign said.
“You better take me with you then,” Farlach said.
“No, I can’t afford to take your spare bodies and slow us down,” the sovereign said.
“I’m fine with a single life-”
“I’M NOT. You have your own tasks here. End of the discussion. Frenpiya, come here.”
“Yes! Thank you for the training, old geezer!” The rookie climbed the scorpicore.
Followed by another scorpicore with a half-burnt mane, she showed her middle finger at him as they disappeared in the horizon. To which Farlach responded with a warm wave of his hand.
“Ah… Talking back like that... Look at how they grow so quickly,” he sighed.
He picked up the magazine paper he had thrown down when he jumped on the scorpicore. Folding it, he slipped it inside the gaps of his armor, tucking it in his briefs, and walked home.
At the same time, in Lerarch’s mage guild…
An apprentice wizard ran through the corridors with a stack of papers. He blasted through his mentor’s office door.
“Master! We detected a singularity at Bleakwoods!”
He shoved the reports in front of the old wizard with great expectations.
“...”
The bald elderly man finished writing his letter, paying no attention to his student. Then, he opened the next letter and read it.
“Are you reading your letters right now? We have an emergency!”
“Shut it! Did you send your abstract for the oncoming symposium?”
“N-no-”
“What are you waiting for? Stop wasting my time! Shoo! Go away!”
The apprentice was gently escorted out.
He spaced out, staring at the ceiling.
“I should talk about it to the adventurer guild…”
At the same time, in the Bleakwoods forest, right outside of the ore mine cave...
“We almost caught it!” a female elf shouted in frustration.
The gnoll they were chasing disappeared from their line of sight because her partner suddenly stopped and drew his twin arming swords.
“Didn’t you feel a weird pressure coming from this direction?” a male elf asked.
“No,” she stared at him, very displeased.
“Maybe we should check it later. There might be other gnolls.”
She rolled her eyes, not wanting to take on more workload. After kicking her partner’s butt, she dashed through the woods.
“Why?!” the elf yelled.
middle-aged looking woman
Say no more, you had me at middle-aged.
You don't even need a drawing lol
oh i caught up
Good job going through all that mess at mach speed...
And RIP lol. The release are only twice per week, Tuesday 18:00 UTC and Saturday 8:30 UTC.
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oh dont worry im already leaving a contract for my soul
I didn't like this interlude much, only setups without pay offs, and even ignoring that it wasn't very interesting, I'm barely even curious about these characters.
Not trying to be mean here, I'm liking the story a lot so far.
I hope the scale doesn't get too big suddenly though, so far the best chapters for me were the borderline slice of life parts when they were still at the crystal mine base and the ones where MC and the two rooks were getting along and interacting, I didn't like the beholder battle much since MC had to passively react to things happening instead of actively interfering in the situation.
Thanks for your feedback. You might want to drop it from here because it'll get worse.
I understand that you are not being mean, and those opinions are grounded in sound reasoning. Those are very valuable opinions for my improvement.
Instead, I hope you'll enjoy the SFW sequel when I release it. I planned a less rushed pace, and the MC will already be in a high position so he won't be bound by others' decision (you didn't like having Milia and Shaki having the freedom of choices over Slade during the battle, but it was a natural consequence of his low standing, and lacks of his slime body).
The only things you'll miss will only the reasoning behind the mental development of Slade, Violet and Griscent. As well as the intimate relationships with Metiva and Lorely.
It will not be necessary to have read this NSFW prequel to read the sequel.
If you still are intent on reading the rest of this story, don't hesitate to share your feedbacks and the elements of the story that you disliked. Although they might not be fixed before a long time, but might help for the sequel.
@owotrucked I won't drop it so quickly, like I said, I liked the story a lot so far.
I think you misunderstood very slightly what I disliked, I know many readers dislike having the MC following other people's orders, but I don't mind it.
My issues are two.
1. Reactive vs proactive, imagine a story where evil forces are trying to destroy the world and the MC has to stop them, the MC is reacting to the enemy. Now imagine the MC *is* the villain trying to destroy the world, in this case the MC is the force that others react to, not the other way around, and this can give the reader a very satisfying feeling.
I think it's easier to understand if I compare Slade controlling a golem to Slade being a set of glorified night vision googles for someone else, one is actively changing the circumstances while the other is simply reacting to the circumstances while hoping for the best. While power is a part of it, more importantly, it's how the MC uses the power he has and having the initiative.
2. My second issue is simply a matter of scale, it's hard to be emotionally invested in a battle between two armies of a billion each or a battle between gods, while in a battle of 3 vs 3 normal-ish people, each character can have narrative weight, making the battle feel more meaningful and exciting.
Not saying grand battles can't be exciting, I just find it easier to sympathize with characters when my emotions/attention is focused. "A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths are a statistic" and all that.
That aside, I'm a little sad that the sequel will be sfw since I like character interactions a lot, and the NSFW parts can feel rather meaningful and entertaining at times, but in the end the execution is all that matters, so I'll still give it a try as long as I'm invested in the characters/world.
@Lawkz
You're right, I had a difficult time putting Slade in a proactive situation because I didn't think thoroughly the story back when I started. In retrospective, I think an author should be able to construct the story in a way that empowers the MC.
A requirement for being proactive is having a sufficient understanding of the situation and faith/hope about the consequences of one's action. That's why some stories use some tropes : "returning from past" "isekai in a familiar mastered game/novel" "old person reborn into a young body". It allows the MC to lead the story by their own initiatives and unwavering faith in their cheat circumstances.
Concerning IHSM, I dropped the MC right into the world without any knowledge, and he's forced in a position of ignorance, doubts, and reactivity. There are very few desperate attempts from him to take the lead (ambushing beholders, acting as decoy to free a path, mediating with opponents). Some worked, other did not. It doesn't help that he's plagued with lack of confidence. (This inner struggle culminates in a conflict against Griscent trying to bamboozle Slade with hedonism.)
At the end, it became a lesson for both Violet and Slade. It's better said with Søren Kierkegaard's quote in Fear and Trembling : “If anyone on the verge of action should judge himself according to the outcome, he would never begin. Even though the result may gladden the whole world, that cannot help the hero; for he knows the result only when the whole thing is over, and that is not how he became a hero, but by virtue of the fact that he began.”
In other words, they learn that against the unknown, they must rely on their ego which grants them their own strengths and specialties and accept the less-than-perfect possible outcomes. That's why in the gnoll prisoner situation, despite all fear of betrayal, Slade had to stand up against hierarchy to try and recruit the gnolls: because all the rational calculation feeding the decision making is built on subjective personality, and his personality demanded to reach out his hand for the gnolls.
Thanks to that, Violet and Slade both come to term with their identity. The quirky warlock might not be cut out to be a leader, and Slade might not be the smartest strategist nor a genius fighter, but they can finally express their gifts of creativity and insights. They can finally allow themselves to "be heroes" by overcoming the fear of outcomes and free their repressed self.
Back when I started writing this prequel, my main concern was "How can I turn this modern repressed unconfident everyday guy into a real fantasy hero?" So all things considered, the story might be painful to read (because of passive sections), but I like the conclusion. It'll be a real hassle to revise the story to be more engaging without losing those themes
Also, I kinda dislike the previous tropes I mentionned (Returning from past, reborn young, transported in familiar world) because it implies so many negatives things about real life like ~If you mess up your youth, you'll just end up useless trash, ~you need to know what you're doing, ~once you f*cked up, it's too much work to rectify, just redo it all.
In my opinion, life is a marathon. Nobody knows what they're doing. People don't know who they are and their understanding of the shifting world is always lagging behind events. f*cking up the start doesn't truly matter, it's how long you can last and dedicate yourself. Everyone is swimming in the unknown and uncertainty. So I don't like the flavor of the fake confidence from rebirth/second chance/secret revelations. That said, almost all such stories eventually lead to that uncertainty stage when they catch up with the limit of their cheat knowledge.
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I understand the second point about scale. A single liked pawn dying can have more weight than dozen unknown gnolls dying.
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Though the sequel will be SFW, there will be NSFW bonus chapter (published in IHSM). It's just that they don't contribute to the main plot anymore. Some chapters might expand details about relationship while other chapters could be plain stupid hentai. It's really just skippable content.
@owotrucked I agree with most of what you said, except 2:
I think an author should be able to construct the story in a way that empowers the MC.
Some authors/readers intentionally go for hopelessness and sad stuff like that, but I don't enjoy that at all lol, so in the end I kinda still agree with you.
It'll be a real hassle to revise the story to be more engaging without losing those themes
I don't think you should revise the story so drastically, even if it wasn't a hassle. At a certain point I feel you should leave your old works alone, even if there are parts you're dissatisfied with, and just move on to something new with what you learned.
I don't mean grammar mistakes and stuff like that, I mean the story itself.
@Lawkz
I don't think you should revise the story so drastically, even if it wasn't a hassle. At a certain point I feel you should leave your old works alone, even if there are parts you're dissatisfied with, and just move on to something new with what you learned.
That's an interesting strategy. I kinda learnt to draw by sketching a lot without ever focusing too much on doing masterpieces. So I guess you're right, I'll try to focus on moving forward.