“Tell me about your goal, about the mother pillar, and the beholders’ final evolution.”

Griscent laughed in bitterness as she was cornered to expose her vulnerable self. She would never share her shameful truth if it weren’t for her loss. It was easier to fight than deal with emotional pain.

Resigned, she pointed at the blurry figures on the horizon.¹Reminder of chapter 38: 

“The mind flayers created us as tools. The pillars of eyes are in fact… self sustaining bio computers.”

Now that the secret was out, she stared at Slade to gauge his reaction. What would he think of a tool like her? Would he shame her? Laugh at her? Pity her?

Mind flayers, huh?

Slade gazed at the silhouettes and noticed tentacles dangling from their jaw. He broke into a cold sweat, thinking about what other abominations they crafted aside from beholders.

“The pillar is the data processing mainframe, and our duty as beholders is to feed it, protect it... and finally, to become a part of it.”

“So you want to fuse with one? That’s the last stage of maturity of beholders?”

“Correct. Once we’ve grown and gathered enough knowledge, we fuse with the pillar of eyes. We merge with the network so we pass our genes and knowledge to new beholders. It is our ultimate reward, a blissful retirement that redeems all of our sufferings.”

“So, you’re a bit like the octopuses from Earth. Once the males mate, they kinda just give up on life, haha-”

She poked her finger into him.

“I’m sorry! Please continue… So, have you tried fusing with a mother pillar?”

“Yes, but it rejected me. I can only taste a glimpse of bliss before my connection breaks. Despair drove me to the point I nurtured a new mother pillar in the Gnoll Tomb, hoping that it would accept me… But that wasn’t the case.”

“Can you-”

Slade almost forgot the basic rules when listening to complaints: first provide emotional support and then suggest solutions.

“That’s really… unfortunate. It hurts to be denied something that was promised during a lifetime. I just can’t imagine how deep your pain must be.”

Griscent blinked in surprise. Tears welled up from sharing her concerns with someone for the first time.

Beholders acted emotionally despite being artificial.

Social animals felt relief from sharing their pain. But her heart was already closed to other beholders, who kept leaving her behind as they reached the last stage.

“I guess you can’t reject that artificial yearning and find something else to do, right?”

“Beholder rejects are called Evil Eye. Do you know why?”

“Being denied the right to happiness only leaves despair and revenge!” She hammered the pool float in an outburst. “NO! I don’t want to renounce my happiness! No Evil Eye would! Why did it have to be me?! That’s unfair!”

“G-Griscent…”

“I didn’t choose to yearn for the mother pillar! I didn’t choose to be born as a tool! I didn’t choose to be a defect!”

Slade put all his mind into stabilizing his rocking pool float body.

She buried her face into the slime. “I hate it, but I can’t help it! Could someone please free me from that cursed life? Let me be anything but a beholder! Even being a pawn would be better!”

The dam broke open. Her tears of grief and anger poured out.

He waited in silence until her pain subsided, while a cardboard cutout of Iron Man drifted by. “I see… So you tried to connect with other living beings through the prison of illusion.”

“That’s right. But while the mother pillar is the majestic sun, my skill is a pathetic firecracker.”

“A firecracker? This brainwashing skill is terrifying! I was desperately trying to wake up to save my mind. I’m scared to stay your friend, to be honest.”

Griscent looked up, sniffling her snot. “You were trying to wake up? The skill shouldn’t work against your consent, you know? I thought the reason you stayed in the illusions was because you wanted to receive my thoughts and love... or purposely annoy me.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Why else would I try to run away? Wait, why would you call your skill ‘prison of illusions’ then?”

“Because you don’t want to leave after having a taste of it. And it sounds cool.”

”You’re joking, right?”

Her sad face broke into a faint smile.

“So… You didn’t want me after all.”

“Uh…”

Splosh!

“What are you doing!?”

She had jumped into the sea.

The slime shapeshifted into a life ring and wrapped around her.

“Leave me alone. I’d be happier if I disappeared.”

“Alright, sure. You do whatever you want with your life, just let me finish.”

“I suppose I can hear you out.”

The slime broke into a cold sweat. Pressure built-up as the talk was no longer only about winning her over, but also saving her from mental suicide.

It didn’t help that she was staring at him with high expectations and curiosity.

“Life is about… Uh... Everyone gets bamboozled.”

Griscent stared at him in disappointment. She let go of the life ring.

Slade pulled her up. “Fuck! Wait! I’m the one who wants to die right now!”

A system window popped up. Basic diplomacy came to the rescue, laying out all the facts.

He connected the ideas and found the path to victory!

That's it!

He spoke after sorting his thoughts. “It’s my speculation, but it makes sense that the Pillar of Eyes would reject you because you still have a role to play. I believe you were given a task that goes beyond the mere life cycle of beholders.”

She perked up. “Can I still hope for the pillar to accept me after I’ve fulfilled my role?”