“...” I was looking at a trio of soon-to-be corpses.
My hair, my face and clothes were completely covered in grease and sauce from the incredibly tasty meal that is now currently on the floor…
All that delicious food prepared by Rose was wasted because of the idiots in front of me.
“What the hell!? Didn’t your parents teach you not to waste any food!? Are you a moron!?” My mother said with an expression full of fury… Her face was also soaking wet with grease...
“Ah… I really liked this outfit… This is so troublesome…” Rose smiled bitterly while looking at her ruined outfit. Her whole outfit was covered in sauce...
“Oi! What do you think you’re doing!?” Laura suddenly stood up and looked at the trio of soon-to-be corpses with an angry expression.
…
…
…
There’s no need for me to list my reasons, but these guys are as good as dead. Their sins are too many to even be considered for salvation...
I calmly stood and walked towards the boss of the trio of bald guys. I had to raise my head to look at the faces of those idiots… The boss was at least 2 meters tall… The other two were over the 1.80 meters tall mark...
“...”
“What? Are you really looking for a fight, pipsqueak?” One of the bald guys asked with an arrogant tone.
“You really need to be put in your place… How dare you to even think you even have a chance with two of the Ten Roses… No… How dare you even try to take one of them for yourself… You will wish that you weren’t born after we‘re done with you!” The boss declared.
Some of the people at the inn cheered at the guy…
“Oi! Stop this instant! I’m the law here! Do you all wanna spend the night in the dungeon!?” Laura was getting even more pissed off.
“This is something between us! Do not interfere!” The boss yelled.
“We’re just teaching this pipsqueak the place where he belongs! He shouldn’t have defied the pecking order! This is what all of us here think!” The bald guy from before spoke to the masses.
Several people cheered on him…
“Why don’t you leave this place with your kind, freak?” The last and the shortest (still taller than me) of the bald guys approached and tried to intimidate me…
Okay, that does it for me…
Wasting perfectly good food, ruining the clothes of my mother, my mother in law as well as my own and also racism?
These guys will receive no mercy!
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath…
“Look! He’s all scared now! What are you going to do now? Are you going to…-” The boss of the bald guys was suddenly interrupted by.
“AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! FUCK! MY DICK! WHY!?” The boss was interrupted by the screams of pain from the bald guy who called me a “freak.”
I had just used my claws to attack the guy in his most vulnerable place… He then fell to the ground while trying to find his junk…
I felt how my claws were cutting flesh, so I don’t think it is still attached.
“So a freak huh!? That’s pretty funny, bitch! Why are you there wailing like a bitch huh!? Did the little goblin cut off your tongue? Oh wait... I think it was your dick! Good luck finding a healer to fix that shit!” I shouted as I started kicking the living shit out of the guy.
The people who were previously cheering on them were now screaming with terror.
“Oi! He’s going to kill Raul! Fucking help him!” The boss shouted at the other bald guy.
“You little!” The other bald guy then tried to jump at me…
I was looking at the mana around him… The guy was planning to attack me with a hidden dagger he had in his pocket…
Time slowed down for me as I saw the guy reaching for the dagger… I didn’t have any weapons on me, so I would be at a disadvantage fighting against another person while unarmed…
I stopped kicking the eunuch and then jumped at the guy before he could even pull out the knife…
“Wha…-” He didn’t even notice that I had jumped at him.
As soon as I reached him, I started scratching him with my claws. Blood was being spilled everywhere thanks to my sharp claws...
“AAAAAAAAAAAAH! FUCK! TAKE HIM OFF ME! TAKE HIM OFF ME!” The guy with the knife started screaming in pain.
The two of us fell to the ground while I was attacking him.
His screams of pain were instantly synchronized with the wails of pain of the eunuch and the screams of the terror of the people at the inn.
“Laura! He will kill them! You’re a guard! Do something!” The boss suddenly shouted at Laura while I was tearing the flesh of the bald guy.
“What do you want me to do? You’re witnessing the consequences of your own actions!” Laura said with a grin.
Soon, the body of the guy that I was attacking was covered in wounds…
I just looked at the remaining one… Their boss…
He was looking at me with an expression full of fear and shock. I just grinned in response… I made a conscious effort to show him my very sharp fangs.
I then stood up and started to walk slowly at him while still smiling… The guy just simply staggered backwards and tried to move away from me.
I did not allow that.
I ran and then jumped at him… I then opened my mouth as much as I could and then I bit into the shoulder of the guy!
“AAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL!? IS HE GOING TO EAT ME!? HELP!” The boss started yelling and crying like a little girl as soon as my fangs sunk deep into his skin.
But it was then that I had realized my mistake…
I jumped away from the guy… As soon as I landed, I started to spit on the ground...
“Man, you really taste like shit… It is like trying to eat rotten chicken…” I said while spitting on the ground.
I will never try to do that again… I should have learned my lesson the last time I did this…
It took me a moment to compose myself and get the shitty taste out of my mouth… I turned around only to find that the guy I had bitten was on the ground looking at a big bite wound that I had left on his shoulder. There was blood coming out of the wound…
The guy was alternating from looking at the wound in shock and looking at me with an expression filled with horror.
I started to slowly walk towards him while he looked at me in horror… He was slowly crawling away from me.
I started concentrating and gathering mana at the tip of my finger… I made sure to properly visualize what I wanted to do.
A small but powerful flame appeared at the tip of my finger… Just as the flame appeared, the bald idiot in front of me started trembling.
“Though… Your meat might taste a little better if I cook it… Let’s give it a try.” I said just as I stopped right in front of him.
“GUUUAAAGH!” The guy started shaking uncontrollably and foam started coming out of his mouth before I could even do anything…
The guy was now on the floor, his body shaking while blood kept pouring from the injury on his shoulder.
“Sigh…” I sighed heavily just as the flame at the tip of my fingers disappeared… My forehead was completely covered in sweat…
Using magic is way harder than it seems… Being concentrated for so long makes my head hurt a lot…
<SYSTEM: You have leveled up!>
Oh! That’s good! Now that I think about it, I haven’t checked my status since we beat the bandits…
I should check it right now…
[STATUS]
NAME: Ru
RACE: Hobgoblin
AGE: 14 days old
LEVEL: 10 / EXP: 160/2400
JOB: HERO
TITLES: Novice Hunter / Survivalist / Irresistible Lover / Hero / Apex of the Forest / Bear Killer / Bane of the Ligers / Relentless Defender
[STATS]
HP: 310/320
MP: 200/280
STAMINA: 16,910/17,000
NATURAL DEFENSE: 130
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 36
MAGICAL ATTACK: 40
PHYSICAL ATTACK: 140
INTELLIGENCE: 200
[NORMAL SKILLS]
CRAFTING / Grade: D / Proficiency: 100/350
TAILORING / Grade: E / Proficiency: 60/100
CLOSE UNARMED COMBAT / Grade: D / Proficiency: 270/350
ARMED COMBAT: SPEAR / Grade: D / Proficiency: 160/350
ARMED COMBAT: SWORD / Grade: D / Proficiency: 340/350
ARMED COMBAT: DAGGER / Grade: D / Proficiency: 190/350
FOOTWORK / Grade: D / Proficiency: 310/350
STEALTH / Grade: D / Proficiency: 201/350
LESSER DETECTION / Grade: D / Proficiency: 74/350
FIRE MAGIC / Grade: E / Proficiency: 60/100
LIGHTNING MAGIC / Grade: E / Proficiency: 5/100
MANA PERCEPTION / Grade: A+ / Proficiency: 0/??? /
[PASSIVE SKILLS]
SUPERIOR SENSE OF SMELL / Grade: C / Proficiency: 810/3000
SUPERIOR SENSE OF HEARING / Grade: C / Proficiency: 930/3000
[UNIQUE SKILLS]
ENHANCED STAMINA / NO GRADE / NO PROFICIENCY / SKILL ESCALATES WITH LEVELS.
[BLESSINGS]
BLESSING OF THE GODDESS OF THUNDERCLOUDS,
LADY ELECTRA
BLESSING OF THE GODDESS OF DESTINY,
LADY ARRAT
BLESSING OF THE GODDESS OF LIFE AND NATURE,
LADY ASTERA
I finally reached level ten! It is only a matter of time before I evolve again!
Before I could examine my Status any further, Laura approached me from behind...
“Good job! I’ll take over from here. Next time don’t turn this into a bloody carnage though…” Laura whispered in my ear.
I then looked at what I had done… One guy no longer has a penis, another has his torso completely covered with scratches and cuts.
And the boss was probably the least injured amongst them…
The people who were cheering on them were no longer screaming or anything… They were looking at me with fear. Some of them looked traumatized.
“I don’t regret it. If someone starts doubting what I feel for Elise or trying to take her away from me, then this will happen… Let’s not forget that they also humiliated me, my mother and Rose and the fact that they also wasted perfectly good food… These bastards made it personal…” I looked at the boss of the injured balds with disdain.
“Wow! That’s so cool! I’m sure Elise will get so happy when she hears that! But… I can’t include the ‘they made it personal’ part on my report…” Laura said with a teasing tone.
“We should probably get a healer for the dickless one. He’s bleeding a lot.” I said to Laura.
“Oh? So you’re not going to kill them?” Laura looked at me with curiosity.
“Huh? Why would I? Do I look like a murderhobo to you?” I looked at her with confusion.
I mean, yeah they were assholes to me, but I won’t be killing each and every single person that acts like an asshole to me… I mean, just look at Electra. She was a bitch to me, but now we are cool and married.
I know it is not the same, but what I’m trying to say is that it wouldn’t be worth it to kill these three.
If they try to do this again, I will really kill them though.
“I was just kidding! I would have to arrest you if you had done that! Sigh… I will heal the new eunuch of Alorari. We really needed one! If the guy is lucky his little friend might survive, but I doubt it.” Laura said with an amused tone.
Laura then walked away to heal the dickless bald guy… My mother and Rose then ran up to me.
“Hehehe! My son is so strong!” My mother instantly hugged me. She was covering herself with blood and covering my clothes with more grease.
“What a mess… Well, at least nothing was broken besides their spirit.” Rose said while cleaning her face with a handkerchief.
“Sorry about this… I shouldn’t have started a fight at your inn.” I said to Rose with an apologetic expression.
Rose just simply started patting my head.
“Do not question the actions of a knight when he fights in your honour. That’s my favourite saying. Thank you very much!” Rose said with a warm smile.
I’m glad that she’s not mad… It would have been terrible if I ruined my relationship with my mother-in-law by starting a fight at her inn...
“Tasty!” My mother said with a delighted expression.
“Mom… Stop licking the grease out of my cheeks…” I said to my mother who did not listen to me…
My mother continued to lick the grease out of my cheeks...
“Hehehe!” My mother giggled.
Jeez...
“I guess we should go and clean ourselves. Let's take a bath together, shall we?” Rose smiled at me and grabbed my hand.
“Yeah, a bath sounds really nice right now…” I nodded in agreement.
“Oh, and to the ones who insulted my new son. There will be no more discounts for you until you apologize from the bottom of your hearts. I really hope you reconsider your actions and do the right thing. I’ll remember your faces. Fufufu!” Rose threatened them with a gentle smile.
The people went absolutely insane… Some of them started tearing up, others were angry and some others just crouched and started to punch the ground in despair...
Maybe my mother-in-law was not as socially oblivious as I initially thought…
Soon, Rose took my mother and I to the second floor of the inn… Before that, I could only look back at Laura who for some reason was winking at me repeatedly. She also stuck out her tongue...
“Take a bath by yourself! This is my responsibility!” Elise was trying to get Rose out of the bathroom.
“But I still want to get to know him more! I also need a bath! You’re so mean to your mother!” Rose was whining while trying to enter the bathroom again.
“You have a bathroom in your room! Take a shower there!” Elise said before finally closing the door for good.
“Elise… That’s so mean!” Rose sounded really dejected.
“I don’t care!” Elise shouted.
“Okay then… Ru, let’s take a bath together next time, okay?” Rose said happily. I then heard her happily walking away.
“Sigh…” Elise sat on the ground with a tired expression.
How did it come to this? Well…
When Rose said: “Let’s take a bath together” she really meant it… She wanted the three of us to take a bath together…
When we reached the bathroom, she started undressing herself and well… I was able to take a good look at her breasts… They were bigger than what they looked like with her clothes on…
I then found myself in a sticky situation…
I had to very awkwardly hide my erection… I think she didn’t notice…
Rose and my mother then asked why I wasn’t getting naked like them… Before I was able to reply, Elise came into the bathroom with an ecstatic expression.
Apparently Laura had told Elise what happened in the dinning hall and what I had said to her… Elise didn’t waste any time and ran as fast as she could to the bathroom.
Elise got really pissed off when she saw her mother half-naked while she was trying to get me to undress myself…
And then Elise started wrestling her mother in order to get her out of the bathroom.
That’s basically what happened here.
“Your mother is… Interesting?” I said to Elise before smiling bitterly.
“Sigh… I can’t believe that she would try to take a bath with you… I thought she was done with that phase…” Elise sighed heavily.
“Ehh? Is it bad to bathe with your child?” My mother tilted her head. She was already naked.
I was a bit uncomfortable looking at her because… Well, she’s my mother.
“She and I took baths together until I was fourteen… Leo and I were able to finally make her stop trying to take baths with us when Leo was seven.” Elise said with a defeated expression.
Is she serious…? Damn…
Ah! I think I forgot to mention this, but the bathrooms here are just like the ones on Earth! No, I’m not kidding!
The bathroom literally looks like one from Earth.
Blue tiles cover all of the walls and floor. There’s some tiles that have flower patterns in the middle of the wall.
There’s a bathtub, a bidet, a toilet, a sink and a shower. Those things really look like they were made on Earth.
“Ru… Can we take a bath together…” My mother was using her puppy eyes to convince me.
“Okay…”
I was not able to win against those eyes…
“But jeez… Did you seriously fight because of what those idiots said about the stupid roses or whatever?” Elise asked with an awkward expression.
“They also insulted your mother and my own. Of course I would fight them because of that.” I replied.
“And they got their sorry asses kicked!” My mother said while smiling from ear to ear.
Elise then crawled towards me, then hugged me and finally kissed me.
“Thank you very much my golden prince!” Elise showed me a beautiful smile.
I obviously returned the hug.
“There’s no need to thank me.” I said to Elise.
“Hehehe! I think you got yourself a well deserved reward! C’mon! Get naked! I will give you a nice and warm bath! You will be squeaky clean when we are done!” Elise said with excitement before rolling down her sleeves.
Elise then stood up and walked towards the bathtub… She beckoned me and my mother to jump in.
My mother instantly got herself into the bathtub…
“C’mon Ru, don’t be shy!” Elise said with a mischievous smile.
Very well…
I just smiled bitterly and started taking off my clothes… A new problem arose when I took off my pants…
“Ah… I don’t remember that part of you being that big…” My mother looked completely dumbfounded.
“It can still get bigger apparently.” Elise said with a lustful expression…
“Can we not talk about my dick in front of my own mother, please…?” I said to Elise.
“I’ll think about it. Now get it!” Elise said with excitement.
I did what I was told and got into the bathtub… The whole time my own mother didn’t stop staring at my buddy…
This might have been a mistake...
ru->
his "little buddy " ->
ru's mom ->
Never has so much been expressed with so little.
Not gonna lie... I spent more than five minutes laughing at this. It was so accurate!
@Rookie_Slime Indeed.
@GodlyKamui I have never been so proud in my life
one of the better uses of emoticons I've ever seen