After the important conversation was over, the somewhat heavy mood hanging over the meal quickly dissipated and everyone at the table started talking at leisure. Sometimes involving Erik in their conversation in a natural manner as if they were long time companions and friends.
Erik tried to remember the names of these important personages, most notably those of Ingolf’s younger brother, Ingber, and Sigrun’s brother, Ivar. It was an enjoyable time and Erik even mentioned some things he remembered from before he ended up in this world.
The absence of magic and the ranged attack focused military development were just two of the things that greatly astonished the Norscan elite warriors who, above all else, revered personal melee ability above all else.
Eventually, as the food was finished, the meal naturally ended and they all took their leave. The Jarl once more mentioned for Erik to head to the Mound of Blades and for Sigrun to help Erik settle in.
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When Erik and Sigrun left the Hall, Jarl Ingolf, Vikti Scaldar and the Thanes turned to face each other.
“I like him” – One of the older Thanes spoke first. “He is evidently Marked by all four, but did not act wildly when you showed off your collection, nor did he seem deceitful when we spoke. And the moment he entered he saw us all as warriors and he treated us with the appropriate respect.”
“He might be amiable and respectful, but that is useless if he can’t fight for shit!” –One of the younger ones exclaimed. “He is not big and strong like we are so I refuse to acknowledge a weakling like him to be a Champion! Khorne must be…”
“SILENCE! How dare a milk boy like you blaspheme Khorne, Bloody and Wrathful?!” –Scaldar screamed at the young Thane with zealous fervour. “It is not up to us to judge his worthiness of the Marks! His Trial will prove it to us! All we can do is speak our mind on Erik as a potential member of our tribe, nothing more! And if I hear you utter any more heresy to one of our Gods, I will personally take an axe to your ribs and display your lungs as Eagle wings!”
Not prepared to face the wrath of the Vikti, let alone the direct threat of a Blood Eagle, the Thane cowered back in his seat. Seeing this, Scaldar added a final remark: “Tch, a coward to boot. You may be strong enough to stand here as Thane, but strength alone does not make a leader. You have ambitions for your Jarl’s throne and daughter? Ill-born trash will always be just that, trash!”
After this outburst, the other Thanes one by one gave their opinions, taking care not to incite the Vikti. The majority acknowledged Erik’s worth to the tribe while only two younger Thanes and one middle-aged Thane spoke out against him. Finally, Jarl Ingolf gave his opinion on the matter.
“Erik has clear desires, this we saw. His personality, from what we have seen, is amiable and honourable to those that treat him the same. As we can tell from the thrall matter, he has obvious urges and impulses and can ruthlessly act on them as befits a Champion but he can also control those same urges, up to a point. I will agree with the verdict of the Witan, Erik is worthy of joining the ranks of our Frost Wolf Tribe.
However, to keep a closer eye on him and to keep us informed on his matters, my daughter Sigrun will accompany him throughout the day. In the front she will act as a helping hand to the Champion, inform him of our ways and guide him. On the other hand she will gather more information from him. Where he is from, what he is like as well as what made the four Gods so interested in him.
The Gods and the Witan have spoken, now we will either witness the birth of a great Champion or a warrior in our tribe will obtain a Mark from his corpse.”
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Outside the Hall the sky was already darkening. This far north the days were short and with winter fast approaching, there would be precious little daylight in the coming months.
Erik felt quite relieved at the welcoming reception and filling meal he enjoyed with the Jarl and his Thanes. He was also very happy to have more opportunities to meet and talk to Sigrun who he felt was an intriguing girl. During the short time he had known her she had shown she had wits when she answered his questions and her father seemed to greatly respect her too. When she followed him outside, he couldn’t help but take another good look at her.
She had also participated in the mealtime conversation, albeit a bit more reduced than her raucous brother. To Erik this was just adding more points to her score. Good looks, great conversation partner and intelligent to boot.
Perhaps she mistook his gaze as a questioning look, but Sigrun told him to follow her as they made their way to the Mound of Blades.
When they arrived, for the umpteenth time again today, Erik was surprised. For the Mound of Blades was not a way to refer to a well organised armoury as he had expected, but a literal mountain of all kinds of weapons of all sorts and sizes.
Jarl Ingolf had stressed that he had to choose a weapon now since it would break the custom and cause a bit of outrage among the tribesmen if too many people saw him pull out a weapon without currently having the qualification to. But upon seeing the messy mountain of steel in the quickly darkening sky, it wouldn’t be so much Erik choosing a weapon as much as it would be a raffle.
Gingerly, inwardly afraid to stick his hand in a mountain of sharp blades, Erik reached in to grab his weapon, hoping for it to be something he was familiar with. Luckily, he did not feel the cold bite of sharp steel biting into him as he grabbed onto what felt like a hilt of some sort. Firmly grasping it, Erik pulled it out of the Mound and raised it in the last remaining daylight to look upon his new weapon.
~Bleep! – Player Erik obtained a personal weapon: Ceremonial Imperial Greatsword!
I'm not sure if this changes moving forward or if the writing style improves, but one thing I've noticed that's been bothering me is the excessive "telling" and not "showing". (The golden rule of storytelling is to "show", not "tell".) I think to date in this chapter, I've only seen a single sentence actually spoken by Sigrun. The rest is all you telling us that they had a conversation about stuff. This is a terrible way to introduce a character because it removes all connection with the character. As of right now, she just feels like a mob cardboard cutout walking around with MC because all of her conversations have allegedly happened (off-screen).
You should narrate situations as they happen and not briefly mention stuff in passing. I understand it can slow the pace down a bit at times, but it's generally much better to establish rich characters than it is to force them into the story. All that said, the prose itself is enjoyable, and the setup for a great story is all here. I've been enjoying it all, otherwise. Keep up the great work!
Erik learned the tried to remember the names of these important personages, most notably those of Ingolf’s younger brother, Ingber, and Sigrun’s brother, Ivar. It was an enjoyable time and Erik even mentioned some things he remembered from before he ended up in this world.
Remove 'learned the'
“SILENCE! How dare a milk boy like you blaspheme Khorne, Bloody and Wrathful?!” –Scaldar did screamed at the young Thane with zealous fervour.
Lowercase everything but the 'S' in silence. It's enough to have an exclamation point to emphasize a higher energy tone. Remove 'did' from the second part.
Updated, though I kept the SILENCE in all caps. I try to distinguish between a regular shout and very angry, thunderous shouts. Same with whispers, inuendo's or emphasis and the like. Caps, cursive, bold. All little tools to play around with to convey different meanings.
Maybe an axe would have been cooler for a Viking.
Believe me, I considered it. But I'm personally more familliar with the handling of swords so in order to (attempt to) write better fights, I went with what I'm familliar with.
(Same goes for polearms, which you'll see later
)